The Big Silence

I have followed TIU since their early days, and have been particularly drawn to Karena Dawn’s growing honesty about her childhood trauma. I was excited about this release because she is a good storyteller, and has grown into a fantastic inspiration on how to pick up sharp pieces and transform them into something beautiful.

I ached for her younger self. Her mother’s paranoid schizophrenia is hard to explain to an adult, but impossible to reckon as a child. The hold and unpredictability of mental illness stole the security of love, stability, and trust. Her mother’s terrifying delusional behavior, and recurring cycle of disappearing only to be found homeless and filthy then hospitalized made my stomach hurt. It infected Karena’s life to the point of a cutting, suicide attempt, heavy drug use, and promiscuity at a young age. Karena writes firsthand, which feels like speaking with a friend. She is so likable that I continuously wanted to jump in and protect and befriend her.

The book follows Karena’s life from childhood through her early 20’s, then very abruptly wraps up after a quick jump to present day. I had become attached to the story, and was disappointed. After all, she has gone on to create an extremely successful business with her best friend, has a loving marriage, and continues to successfully heal her wounds. I truly hope that Karena writes a second book which explores the healing. I’ll be first in line to order it. Meanwhile, I’m excited to follow her new foundation dedicated to normalizing speaking about mental illness and its long reaching effects.

Thank you to NetGalley and Girl Friday Productions for access to the ARC.

This is a reveling memoir on the struggles with mental illness and how one can confront their struggles with courage and bravery. This is one I'll return to again and again. Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the advanced copy of the book.

Karena Dawn pens a harrowing memoir of growing up with a Linda, mother who suffers from extreme schizophrenia and manages to overcome the family (and her own) demons to not only survive but thrive. Her mother's mental illness spins out of control when Ms. Dawn turns 12 and then spirals downward into homelessness, religious delusions, mental & physical abuse and multiple hospitalizations. In her teen and young adult years Ms. Dawn copes with vast quantities of drugs, Raves and men. She finds way back to sobriety & clean living via therapy , Yoga & healthy workouts and is now the successful owner on a large membership website, a sought out speaker and and a best selling author.

The Big Silence is also a scathing criticism of the American Mental Health System. It's unbelievable ( but sadly all to common) that a woman who is clearly unable to care for herself physically or mentally is turned loose on her own recognizance . Both Ms. Dawn and her father repeatedly try to "cure" and then giving up on a "cure" at least manage Linda's illness but are always meet with failure after failure. I didn't admire all the actions of her father who spends his days at work and his night paying music in pubs leaving his daughters to fend for themselves and cope with their mother's illness. The entire family did quite a lot of ignoring the elephant in the room. The father escaped into work and music, Ms. Dawn into drugs and her sister just plain leaves and has as little to do with her mother.

The Big Silence is a compelling page turner of a book and a story of triumph . If you've any mental illness in your family you will find that both of you have traveled the same road.

Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. .

Mental illness exacts a heavy toll on those inflicted as well their near and dear ones. This is the story of Karena Dawn (founder of Tone It Up) and her family coping with her mother Linda’s paranoid schizophrenia.

When Karen and her sister Rachel were in school in Indiana, symptoms of mental illness in her mother started showing up. This manifested as religious and political delusions – satanists working through her family and others, as well as a devious government set to harm citizens such as by poisoning water. There were several episodes of her mother taking off suddenly and being away for days and weeks at times. There were periods when she lived in her car as a homeless person. Their dad tried his best to cope but after several years they were divorced. There are also brief sections on Karen’s family background. Her grandparents on her dad’s side were immigrants who moved to the US after the second world war. Her mother’s father also had mental illness and was abusive.

All this has an impact on Karen as well. She moved to LA, but was addicted to drugs and alcohol for a period. It took some shocks including being jailed briefly for her to resolve to break out of it. She did that and was later married to Bobby who emerged as a stable pillar of support. Later, the responsibility of caring for her mother fell on her, and she moved her to an assisted living place in California, and with treatment she was also able to live on her own.

The descriptions of the episodes of paranoia her mother exhibited make for painful reading. While the recount of what happened were good, the inner feelings of Karena, her sister and dad and not very well described. Overall, the book could have been much better written especially since mental health is such a vital subject.

With frank, open honesty, Karena Dawn, brings us into her relationship with her mother and how it affected her as she has grown. Most know Karena as half of the famed Tone It Up duo, but this book invites us to get really personal with Karena, as she explores the mental health struggles of her mother, and her own struggles therein. She is compassionate, transparent and leads the reader to think deeply.

Thank you to NetGalley for a preview copy of this book!

The review below I posted on Goodreads.
My only comments and feedback that I did not include in the review is maybe making resources more prominent for mental health, abuse, substance abuse, etc. I'm not sure if it was my Kindle version but it was a small section. I would recommend an entire page or even pages with websites or names of several mental health resources for others who need it.
Thank you for letting me read this! It was truly a gift!

Goodreads review:
Wow! This is a book that will stay with me for a long time. I did not anticipate how honest and raw it would be. I am in awe of Karena's strength, bravery, and spirit.
I love the small details and descriptions. It was a very visual book.
There were some extremely emotional and overwhelming parts that I would warn readers in advance in case someone is triggered by certain things. Mental illness is the central theme of the book. She goes into the topics of self-harm, heavy substance use, emotional abuse, and suicide.
It is extremely important to make mental health and illness a larger discussion. We have come a long way in the last few decades however, there is still so much more to be done in terms of understanding and resources.
I am proud of Karena for being a voice and advocate for mental health on top of her already incredible achievements of helping others with physical health.

Thank you to Karena for sharing her story with the world. I can't imagine how difficult it was to put this story to paper and share it with everyone.

Huge 5 stars for this one for sharing what life was like growing up with mental illness in your family and how it impacted her life.