Member Review
Review by
Reviewer 1007959
[Disclaimer: I received a free e-copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest & unbiased review.]
If half-ratings were possible here, this would probably be closer to a 4.5 star book for me. It was a nuanced and scholarly examination of consent that was thought-provoking and incredibly enjoyable to read, even in the moments when I found it challenging. The fact that it went beyond the “yes means yes” and “no means no” dichotomy was so refreshing; yet it was something that I couldn’t have necessarily expressed that I needed.
Unsafe Words looks at both sexual consent & sexual violence in a structural and systemic way, pointing out the ridiculous optimism inherent in solving these problems through consent-based sex education alone. It asks us just how possible, beneficial, and inclusive the concept of “enthusiastic consent” really is. And as a sex educator, that was uncomfortable to confront at times.
But this book doesn’t just point out the flaws in our current system. It reminds us that we need to dismantle the societal power imbalances that are the root cause of sexual violence. It inspires us through the many ways that Queer folks have already been playing with heteropatriarchal sexual norms for decades. It also allows space for consensual but confusing or uncomfortable sexual encounters.
As a book of individual essays, I of course found some more enjoyable or well-written than others. Such is the nature of an anthology. But the overall focus on consent as this complicated process that we have not yet fully acknowledged - and the call to approach sexual harm from a space of abolition and restorative justice… that was something I will be taking with me in my own work (personal & professional) for years to come.
If half-ratings were possible here, this would probably be closer to a 4.5 star book for me. It was a nuanced and scholarly examination of consent that was thought-provoking and incredibly enjoyable to read, even in the moments when I found it challenging. The fact that it went beyond the “yes means yes” and “no means no” dichotomy was so refreshing; yet it was something that I couldn’t have necessarily expressed that I needed.
Unsafe Words looks at both sexual consent & sexual violence in a structural and systemic way, pointing out the ridiculous optimism inherent in solving these problems through consent-based sex education alone. It asks us just how possible, beneficial, and inclusive the concept of “enthusiastic consent” really is. And as a sex educator, that was uncomfortable to confront at times.
But this book doesn’t just point out the flaws in our current system. It reminds us that we need to dismantle the societal power imbalances that are the root cause of sexual violence. It inspires us through the many ways that Queer folks have already been playing with heteropatriarchal sexual norms for decades. It also allows space for consensual but confusing or uncomfortable sexual encounters.
As a book of individual essays, I of course found some more enjoyable or well-written than others. Such is the nature of an anthology. But the overall focus on consent as this complicated process that we have not yet fully acknowledged - and the call to approach sexual harm from a space of abolition and restorative justice… that was something I will be taking with me in my own work (personal & professional) for years to come.
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