An Honest Salvation

Doubt is a still small voice, best heard in desperate hours when we are alone. You and I know these hours: the ones when you come to your place of prayer in troubled times and are helpless to speak. The need or pain that drives you to pray becomes more than you can speak, but you reach toward God, doing your best to find the words for your sorrow. You stay, struggling until your emotions are spent. There is no miracle and God does not answer; but your pain is less and you have a good cry. You tell yourself it is time to wait on God and you watch to see what God will do, as you turn back to your life among men.

Days become weeks and a solution forms. You do not see the place of your prayer in the outcome. The things you asked for do not fit the result, so you trust that God knows best and ignore the voice of doubt that is trying to save you.

About the Author

My life is question-driven and since age nine — when I was the victim of child baptism — life’s most important questions have been religious. These are the hardest to answer because so many opinions drive religious thought, making truth elusive. I spent years trying to live according to religious opinions without gaining ground in a relationship with my maker. I spent years wandering through the uncertainties of doctrine trying to answer the salvation question. The first question of any real importance was, “Is my God the right one?” After all, we fill in the gaps between the things we believe with our own thoughts, making God into who we think him to be. Proof is necessary for a meaningful answer. Because faith is a matter of substance and evidence, the proof of belief must include some tangibility. Belief that borders on opinion is not credible when it comes to salvation.