Forty Days on Being a Four

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Pub Date 04 May 2021 | Archive Date 03 Jun 2021

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"How are you feeling?" Christine Yi Suh says that this has always been a hard question. She writes: "The more accurate question for a Four may be, 'What aren't you feeling?' I can grab my prevailing emotion and tell you how I'm doing from that emotion's point of view (joy, elation, sadness, grief, confusion—you name it!). I live and breathe a kaleidoscope of living, feeling, conflicting emotions." Many times Fours are labeled "emotionally intense" or "too much," but for a Four this is just how life is. This is why Fours are ideal companions in the midst difficult times: the death of a loved one, the birth of a baby, transitional seasons in career, relational conflict, and so on. The Enneagram is a profound tool for empathy, so whether or not you are a Four, you will grow from your reading about Four and enhance your relationships across the Enneagram spectrum. Each reading concludes with an opportunity for further engagement such as a journaling prompt, reflection questions, a written prayer, or a spiritual practice.

"How are you feeling?" Christine Yi Suh says that this has always been a hard question. She writes: "The more accurate question for a Four may be, 'What aren't you feeling?' I can grab my prevailing...

Advance Praise

"As I encountered the courageous journey of Christine Yi Suh discovering and living into her own 'uniqueness of being' as a Four on the Enneagram, there was so much that spoke deeply to me. Christine brings a timely concern that this popular tool be explored, not simply for our own personal growth but for the sake of building a more compassionate society. In generously sharing with us glimpses of her own self-discovery, she guides us in how we can create safe spaces for those who have been marginalized and silenced by the dominant culture. Above all, with a beautiful interweaving of personal story, biblical narrative, and social awareness, she encourages each one of us to 'show up' in this broken world as God's beloved, special, and unique image bearers, whatever number we may be on the Enneagram. Christine's passionate writing voice, representing a fresh wave of much-needed new writers, will be a gift for many of us."

-Trevor Hudson, author of Discovering Your Spiritual Identity and A Mile in My Shoes

"Christine Yi Suh paints an honest picture of just how significantly the intersections of culture, race, and gender can impact how we read ourselves and others in the world. Not only is this book an insight on Enneagram Fours, Christine offers the reader a vulnerable invitation into her own story of revelation and becoming as a Korean American woman leader. An inspiring, layered, and insightful book!"

-Gail Song Bantum, lead pastor of Quest Church, Seattle

"In Forty Days on Being a Four, Christine Yi Suh gifts us with more than just keen and valuable insights into what it's like to exist as a specific Enneagram type. She offers us pastoral wisdom wrapped in grace, and room for loving reflection and challenge. Fours and all types alike will love getting to know Christine as an incredible leader and trusted guide for our current times."

-Ashlee Eiland, associate pastor, Mars Hill Bible Church, and author of Human(Kind)

"Informative and insightful, Christine Yi Suh invites the reader not only into the complex world of the Enneagram Four but also the lived experience of a Korean American woman. The growing popularity of the Enneagram has lacked the nuances of how culture impacts the Enneagram learner. Christine masterfully adds layers and texture in her writing through history and personal examples of struggle and victory. Christine's graduate studies and work in the area of spiritual formation are an added benefit. Her questions and prompts are full of depth and skillful direction that help the reader pause, process, personalize, and implement the topic of the day. For every Four and every person who is in a relationship with a Four, this book is a gold mine."

-Vivian Mabuni, host of the Someday Is Here podcast and author of Open Hands, Willing Heart

"Christine Yi Suh's wonderful Forty Days on Being a Four helps us explore our gloriously tumultuous inner worlds, motivations, and emotions . . . the natural habitat for those of us who engage the world as Enneagram Fours. Reading this book helped me feel seen and little less weird. But more importantly, in sharing her experience as a Korean American woman, Christine invited me outside my limited viewpoint as a white dude and into a fuller and more beautiful vision of what it means to be a Four . . . and a human. This book is a gift."

-Aaron Niequist, liturgist and author of The Eternal Current

"I am not an Enneagram Four, but I was drawn to this book (and indeed the entire series) because as Christine Yi Suh writes, the Enneagram doesn't bring me greater self-awareness but is 'a tool to bring greater understanding, empathy, compassion, and grace to one's self and one's neighbor.' What I didn't anticipate was how disarmingly tender this book of daily reflections would be. When Christine offers profound insights into how Enneagram Fours are shaped by their environments, she also generously invites us into her lived experiences, the intersections of her ethnic identity, her womanhood, her faith and work. Each daily reflection ends with questions and guidance that leads you from her reflections into your own. My relationships and my own soul are already richer for the experience. I'm grateful for this series and Christine Yi Suh's powerful contribution to it!"

-Jo Saxton, speaker, leadership coach, and author of Ready to Rise

"As I encountered the courageous journey of Christine Yi Suh discovering and living into her own 'uniqueness of being' as a Four on the Enneagram, there was so much that spoke deeply to me. Christine...

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Featured Reviews

This book is written in a perspective that is truly unique (of course, this is one of the traits of a 4!). I loved hearing the author's perspective on being a 4, a woman of faith, and a person of Korean heritage. Eye-opening truths were told about her experience in America and in the church. Although my heritage is different from the author's, I still found myself closely identifying with her in many ways. She has been a female pastor, which is controversial within different faith communities, including mine. Yet, she has so much wisdom to share with women of faith. I am glad I had the chance to read her book. As a 4, I felt that she did a fantastic job and gave me new insights into the 4 experience of life.

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