“And You Will Call It Fate is a stunningly clear-eyed exploration of masculinity via Timothy J. Hillegonds’s long relationship with Sean Dempsey, a man capable of startling generosity as well as unchecked rage. With precision and compassion, Hillegonds maps both the harm caused by Dempsey’s fury and the way those same ‘toxic’ traits helped to propel Hillegonds out of addiction and into a life with ambition and purpose. In short, he sees and holds both Dempsey and himself to account as full human beings. In an era where cultural conversations about masculinity can be dismayingly binary, And You Will Call It Fate is exactly the book the world needs.”—Kristi Coulter, author of Exit Interview: The Life and Death of My Ambitious Career

“Haunting, disturbing, and uplifting, And You Will Call It Fate tells the complex tale of a friendship that saved the author from addiction—a friendship as exhilarating and ensnaring as a line of cocaine, full of false promises and flashes of rapture and insight. The character of Sean Dempsey is Hillegonds’s Gatsby—enigmatic, lavish in lifestyle, and dangerous to be around. But, like the author of this brave and beautiful book, you’ll be glad you came into his orbit.”—Miles Harvey, author of The Island of Lost Maps and The King of Confidence

“Timothy J. Hillegonds has crafted a courageous and unflinching exploration of masculinity, rage, addiction, and redemption. At its core—and perhaps even to the author’s own surprise—it’s a moving testament to our capacity for transformation and the unstoppable momentum of personal evolution once the will is awakened.”—Katherine Rowland, author of The Pleasure Gap: American Women and the Unfinished Sexual Revolution

“This is a beautiful thing. A book that tackles the stuff that matters and paints a portrait of life in all of its complexities. The twists of fate. The roads taken and left behind. But mostly choices. The choices we make and the choices we choose not to. It is, in a way, the fundamental question a person must face: taking stock of who we have been and, ultimately, who we choose to be.”—Jared Yates Sexton, author of The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making

“In his new book, And You Will Call It Fate, Timothy J. Hillegonds asks the question: ‘To the people who save us, what do we owe?’ and his answer is anything but simple. In this extended reflection on failure, redemption, and the limits of gratitude, Hillegonds underscores an important truth about addiction and recovery: that climbing out of the cavernous dark of your own rock bottom is not something you can do on your own. Along the way, though, he asks a single agonizing question: What if the person who helped you out of that hole is wrestling with such demons of their own that they risk dragging you back down? And You Will Call It Fate is more than a recovery memoir. It’s a story about the grace necessary to see good in people even when they’re at their worst, but it’s also a story about giving ourselves enough grace to let go of people who stand in the way of true healing. And in the end, it’s a story about the humility and courage it takes to stand on your own two feet.”—Joey Franklin, author of Delusions of Grandeur: American Essays