Jan Kane thought temp work was supposed to be boring.

Then she gets tricked into swapping shifts, and one bad signature later she’s legally obligated to recruit the universe’s most wanted criminals for a heist so blasphemous it could rupture creation itself:

Steal God’s personal diary.

If Jan fails, quits, or tries to run, the contract gives her new employers the right to harvest her organs.

And that’s before Jan even finds out who she’s supposed to recruit. The crew is scattered across the cosmos, violently unstable, and spectacularly unfit for teamwork. Even if Jan can assemble them, God probably doesn’t keep His diary under a pillow.

Crimes Against the Universe is a fast, darkly funny sci-fi adventure about cosmic crime, catastrophic fine print, and the worst temp job in creation.