Love Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett? Listen...

"HEEKEW!" Hear that? That is the sound of Justice. Justice the hiccoughing, fainting, pudgy 19-year-old dairy farmer known to his friends as 'Just'. JUST. And Just just wants to stay on his Humble Haven Farm. Just doesn't want to go 'Out There'. 'Out There' bad. Well, guess what kid? You've got two days left and then you're going to be face to...uhm...not 'face' with...but, see...this guy... ...behold our 'Lord God King God', King Kon, raising his bejewelled hands aloft, displaying for us, his Lowly-Lows, absolute proof of his potency and power: his putt-putt golf trophies. Golden putt-putt-trophies already made for the putt-putt not yet played on a putt-putt course not yet made. For his putt-putt dream to be realized he must burn down Justice's farm and entire valley and the cutest village ever. Why? Because King Kon's putt-putt will be the biggest, most beautiful putt-putt the world has ever seen. King Kon is as squirrelly as a… squirrel. Constantly distracted by shiny gold trinkets or snorfing down buckets of food, this tacky moronic monster is blind to the misery of most of us. The 'regular' us: we the Lowly-Lows, Ordinaries and Cheaps are the ones who keep this place limping along while the king tells us he is the 'best of the best-est of all times in all of historicals histories ever.' We needed a hero. But is that what that magical mystical being they call The Old Lady sends us? Is it as heck like! She sent us JUST. Justice is going to be the new Royal Groomer of the Stool and yes, as bad as you imagine that job is, it is worse. He will come face to face with the cottage cheese white and lumpy hind end of the king each and every time the king uhm…'evacuates'. And you think you have a bad job? How is this self-doubting kid, forever in the shadow of his late older brother, supposed to navigate this most absurd and dangerous Royal Court? How will he find an ally? And who? Could it be Royal Seamstress, Tailor Swift, also known as The Swift Tailor? Royal Chef, Dr. Fill? Purveyor of the king's 'news' The Hyena? King Kon's Royal Chief of Staff, Melon Head 693? (Yes, there were 692 before him. Don't ask.) Before Justice seeks an ally, he'd better locate a spine. There are crazy rumours around, about a massive secret only the king's Royal Groomer knows. If true, when that explosive end comes, and all hell rains down, will Justice, and all of us, run fast enough to avoid the awful fallout? And… ...will King Kon's still blind followers finally see the truth?