Ronald Knewer’s world is mainly concerned with his self-diagnosed ailments, and his unrequited love for Alice. He is an incurable liar and fantasist. Life, he tells us, is ‘mainly a monumental sense of disappointment made only slightly more bearable by the vague illusion of hope, but somehow, it is never quite enough. It would seem we are programmed always to expect more.’ Especially with less than 6 months left to live.

There are many things currently crashing around in the microcosmic world inside his head: ‘Cheese sandwiches, (with just a little bit of pickle), clairvoyants, God’s gatekeeper Geesus, rum, brain tumours, and murders!’ to name but a few. And that was just on Wednesday.

As an undeniable imbecile who just happens to be vital to the future of the world, we may have to settle for his salvation, in the form of ‘a battle-worn biker, put out to grass, with the wind in his hair, and the sun always on his back’ A bit like a donkey, only faster… In Ronald’s world, things often change, and not always for the better.

It should also be noted that much of this occurs while he is dead.

‘According to Ronald…’ is an irreverent, darkly humorous psychological thriller as well as a cautionary tale. Enjoy!