I started this book with mixed feelings.    There was no doubt that it would be a tough story to read.    Kelly Rimmer wrote about drug abuse, sexual abuse, cult living, loss of a father, and having to grow up too fast.   There is nothing easy about any of those topics but she managed to take care and write a truthful and hard story without making lite of them.  My eyes were open with the loss of a father and how it can change everything in your life.   My heart was filled and then broke with the love between the sisters.      I had tears, I smiled, I giggled, and I sighed all while enjoying every page of Before I Let You Go.

Lexie drove me nutty.    She had been in charge of her life, 100% in charge, for so long that she refused to ask or accept help from anyone.   It was a constant issue between her and her fiancé, it was a problem with her career, and it was a problem in her life.    I wanted to her to ask for help, I needed her to ask for help, but I understood why it was so difficult for her to do so.    If she gave up any part of the control her life could spiral out of control.   As a child, after her dad died, she didn’t have control and she lost control, having the roughest years.   Her fiancé was a hero to me.   He put up with her inability to ask for help, he accepted that her sister needed help, and he didn’t pressure her to live life his way.   He accepted her as she was with her flaws and supported her.  

Before I Let You Go is not easy to read.   It is tough, it is raw, and it is heartbreaking.   Yet, I am so very happy to have had the chance to read this story.     The story made me think and made me open my heart to some amazing characters.   
                           
Thank you Katie Olsen at Little Bird Publicity for a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

RATING: 4 STARS
2018; Graydon House/HQN/HarperCollins
(Review Not on Blog)

I picked up this novel based on the pretty cover which thankfully did not lead me astray. Without reading the synopsis, I assumed by the title it was a mystery/suspense novel. While there are moments of suspense, this novel is more of an emotional novel. It is hard to put it in a genre, but I would say if you like Picoult or Hannah you will most likely enjoy this novel. It is a dark story that is realistic as the characters. Even when you find yourself not liking them, you feel invested in both the characters and the story. I listened to this one on audio and there were moments that I wish I was listening to it on the train. There are scenes that you just need time to process before you read on. This is my first book by Kelly Rimmer, but I am ready for more.

***I received an eARC from NETGALLEY***

Before I let You Go is a fictional story that to some can read like real life.
This is a story about two sisters who have taken different paths in life because of how they were raised.
It is a heart wrenching story of how one sister will do just about anything to help her younger sister knowing she can never "fix" her.
I cried my way through this story and about had a breakdown by the end.  This is not a book that always has a happy ending.  
Thank you Kelly Rimmer for being brave enough to write this story and to give us readers the raw truth of what drugs and other things (not going to mention and spoil it for your readers) can do to a family, to siblings and to ones self.

Breathtaking. Beautiful. Heart-breaking. This book has completely inspired me again. The characters are well thought out and the pace is excellent. I love how invested I got in Annie’s life as well as Alexis’s. If there’s ever a sequel, I want it!

My thoughts on this title will appear on my blog (https://kristineandterri.blogspot.com/) on June 26/18.

I suffered the loss of my mother a couple of months ago and I have had a difficult time getting back to the things that I love to do like reading. I picked this book up many times with the intention of getting through it but couldn't manage to get past the first couple of words. It was no fault of the book or the story it was telling but it was my frame of mind as a struggled through my grief. When I finally allowed myself to indulge in something that brings me great joy I was extremely glad that Before I Let You Go was the book I had waiting for me. Although the kind of grief that was inside the pages of this book were different from what I experienced I had the empathy to relate and understand the characters and the their own internal battles.

Lexie and Annie had a normal childhood experience until the day they lost their father and their mother fell into a deep depression. Lexie, although still young, became the primary caregiver for her younger sister until their mother married a new man and moved them to an isolated religious community with strict rules and regulations. As soon as Lexie was old enough she left the community leaving a struggling Annie behind to fend for herself. This was the beginning of Annie's problems.

As the years went on, Lexie found herself caring for Annie again but she was a much different person. She spend more time getting her out of trouble, into rehab and trying to fix her problems than anything else at the risk of her own future. Everything changed when Lexie got a middle of the night call from Annie saying that she was in trouble, high, and pregnant.

I'll stop here. I don't want to give away too much of the story but I will say that this was the point where the story really began. It was the difficult, heart wrenching and frustrating story of addiction, love and a very flawed system. To say that I was on an emotion roller coaster would be an understatement. This book showcased some of the many sides of addiction and the people affected by it in a raw and honest light. As the reader I got to hear both Lexie and Annie's voice which painted a large and thorough picture of both sides of their story. I experienced frustration, anger, sadness throughout most of the pages but I also saw a few moments of beauty.

Addiction is not an easy topic and this story wasn't easy but it was exactly what I needed when I needed it most. It reminded me of how much I love reading and that it is OK to find the joy in the little things. It was a very worthy read!

An amazing book that is so important at this time...  this sister's story could happen in any family.

I was sent this book from the publisher. My ratings and reviews will be my own personal opinions and are in no way influenced by publishers or authors who may have sent me books to review. 

This was my first Kelly Rimmer book, but it will not be my last. I started Before I Let You Go on my lunch break, and that was such a mistake! I was instantly taken by the story, and I wanted to keep reading.

This starts off with two sisters: one a successful doctor and one a drug addict. Lexie gets a phone call in the middle of the night when Lexie is having some health issues. Come to find out she is also pregnant, but will not go to the hospital due to knowing she will fail a drug screen (these are not spoilers as this is in the synopsis). The story these sisters take you down was heartbreaking and one that I see often within my field working with drug exposed infants. 

The writing was beautiful, and it made for a really enjoyable read. This was a slower paced read for me, but I was enjoying the characters and the dual perspectives that I did not seem to mind. 

My emotions were all over the place with this! I was able to connect with the so many different aspects of the story since I work within addiction, and I have also lost my father. I found myself crying several times throughout the story.

This was a beautiful and powerful story and I highly recommend it.

Two sisters have been estranged for two years and a late night phone call will bring them back together and hopefully heal their relationship.  Lexie Vidler has been the older sister her entire life and even at some moments she has had to be a second parent.  Annie is the younger sister and has always had Lexie to help pick up the pieces when life got rough.  Annie is in a bad place and she thinks only Lexie can help.  

What a fantastic sister book!  Being a part of a sisterhood is rewarding and hard.  Like Lexie and Annie, me and my sister are completely different, but unlike them I have never had to parent my sister, we have always been able to just be sisters.  Kelly Rimmer gives a voice to both sisters as they take turns narrating the book chapter by chapter.  I won't divulge too much, but the way Annie's chapters are presented is unique and different and made this book stand out for me.  BUT be prepared to cry!

The writing in this book is beyond outstanding.  AND the characters are just full and true.  I loved reading about these sisters so much.  The way she wrote the characters and the story was just so good.  You can tell how much I love this book because I am beyond the ability to use words to express the love!

I was excited to find out after reading this book that Kelly Rimmer has a backlist.  I will have to dive into her backlist soon and read away!

I was literally up all night reading Before I Let You Go, because once I started reading it, I couldn’t stop. It starts out as a conventional romance – Lexie and Sam, both doctors, are settling into the new home they’re remodeling – but almost immediately Lexie gets a call from her younger sister Annie, begging for help. Annie, it turns out, is a drug addict. She’s also pregnant, and being on drugs while pregnant is, because of a badly written law, criminal behavior in Alabama.

The book then tells the story from the parallel points of view of Lexie and Annie, though Lexie’s chapters are in the present, and Annie’s, which are dominated by journal entries addressed to Luke (we learn who he is mid-way through the novel) mostly detail the past.

Throughout it all, Sam is there, being the supportive fiance, insisting to Lexie that they’re a team, and ensuring that she takes care of herself, even when she’s trying to take care of others.

Sam is one of the best-written male characters I’ve seen in recent “women’s fiction” (I hate that term). He’s his own person, but he’s also a key support for Lexie, and in many ways, I felt that he was the heart of this story. Still, it’s really about Lexie and Annie, and eventually their mother, and Annie’s daughter, Daisy, and as a portrait of sisters who both love each other fiercely and frustrate each other completely, it’s a brilliantly crafted piece.

Goes well with Chinese take-out and cold beer.

This is the first book I've read by Kelly Rimmer, but it certainly won't be my last. The author has chosen hard topics to write about, their heartbreaking to read about and for me hard to read at times. I went through many emotions reading this especially anger and sadness. I learnt a lot from this book about religion and certain laws in Alabama. I loved Kelly Rimmer's writing and the way she grabbed me and made me want to read one more chapter. I look forward to reading more books by Kelly. 

Thanks goes to net galley and the publishers for providing me with a free copy in exchange for an honest review.

This book was intense. There is no doubt that I felt uneasy the whole time. The story is also so important. The drug epidemic is not easing up and this story highlights what drug addiction does to a person, as an individual, and to all the people that the addicted person loves and are loved by. Drug addiction is not a solo disease and it affects so many people beyond the one struggling with the addiction. This book is also emotional. I felt so many things; anger, happiness, deep sadness and uncertainly. I was fully immersed in this story and told so many people that the need to read it because it is not only well written and very deeply plotted with one than one intense story line, but it is also tackles the subject of religion and drug addiction in a new way. It is incredibly character driven and a book you will struggle to put down and will stay with you long after you finish reading it.

This book is the first of Kelly Rimmer I have read it won't be my last.

This book is about addiction it sucks you in its heartbreaking but it shows you a life which can happen in real life. The writing was amazing the storyline was fantastic there was highs and lows I felt it for the characters in the book and started thinking what I would do in the situation they was in. Some bits I was reading I had tears running down my face it was a hard read in places but I am glad I read the book. Will be reading more by Kelly Rimmer.

Two publishers come to mind when I name favorites. Lake Union Publishing is one, but Graydon House has quickly found its way to the top of my list. The publisher's selection of women's fiction novels continues to impress. Before I Let You Go broke my heart over and over again. Kelly Rimmer is an author you need to discover.



Lexie has achieved a level of success despite her past. After her father's death, her family life spiraled. She moved on 20 years ago. She's now a successful doctor and is engaged to the man of her dreams, who also happens to be a doctor. When she left home at 16, she had to leave her younger sister behind. Her sister has always been a part of her life.



Annie comes and goes from Lexie's world when it suits her. For Lexie, Annie's 2 a.m. cry for help is just another sign that Annie's once again trying to cause havoc. She wants to ignore her, but Annie says she's pregnant and not thriving. If she goes to the hospital, she faces jail for her addiction. If she doesn't go to the hospital, the baby is at risk. Annie really wants to do what's best for her unborn child.



Once again, Lexie gets dragged into Annie's world of addiction. This time, there are others at stake. There's a baby to think of and Lexie's fiance who is not accustomed to Annie's attitude and behavior. Annie and Lexie both have to delve into their past if they're to find any hope in the future.



The aspect of addiction is not glossed over in Before I Let You Go. It's written with incredible detail and emotion. I teared up so many times as both women talked about their past, their hopes for the future, and what needed to be done right now. This story has you on a roller coaster that just doesn't stop.



While I've had no experience with drug addiction, I have seen family members deal with alcoholism. Addiction isn't pretty. It's brutal and challenging on the best day. Kelly Rimmer captures that perfectly. She also spends a lot of time examining laws that treat pregnant addicts like the lowest of the low. I'd never thought of that angle.



This story is truly a book that reading groups need to read. It covers so many things from abuse to addiction and pregnancy to opiod-addicted infants. I cried, I cried some more, and I ended up refusing to stop reading. I had to know how it all turned out in the end and wasn't about to wait till morning. It's a powerful and very poignant book.

Oh my! What a heart breaking read, so much of it dark and just so sad. Yet...  it is very real and at the same time is hope filled.

Lexie is the responsible sister, both herself and her sister Annie have had a tough upbringing after their father died and their mother after months of depression takes them to a closed religious group, whose values are far from mine. And as is sometimes the case hides those who are evil.

Both Lexie and Annie escape, Lexie becomes a doctor and becomes engaged to Sam, a fine young man - a doctor too and so very loving and understanding.  All through he supports Lexie in the days that follow after Annie returns pregnant and drug filled. And that's another difficulty because in Alabama that's a criminal offence.

What stands out is the love that Lexie has for Annie and vice versa. Both have had huge issues to deal with, my heart went out to both of them in their pain and struggle. Annie just can't share the shame she feels and Lexie can't ask for help. Both situations are so difficult. And yet amongst all this is the joy of Daisy, daughter of Annie, beloved by both Lexie, Sam and Annie.

The book explores serious issues in a way that for me the reader opened my heart to the characters, it wasn't easy to read in places, it made me feel so sad and yet at certain times my spirit was happy to see certain characters go from blindness to sight.

I don't want to give away the plot so enough.

Before I Let You Go is a great story that focuses on the bond between sisters. I love how Kelly stresses the importance of family, trust and the power of love! LOVE LOVE that message that is echoed throughout this book! 
This book is filled with family secrets and lies and will have you glued to every word! 
I look forward to reading more from Kelly!

Reading "Before I Let You Go" was at times tender and emotional, and in other moments, pretty frustrating. My ability to relate to the characters in this novel went through *huge* swings as I read, as did my enjoyment of the book. The book starts off with Annie's late night call to Lexie, which is motivated by symptoms of preeclapsmia, a syndrome I had with my first pregnancy. Something about that experience, and really child birth in general, makes me feel so many emotions for other women who have experienced the same. I remember feeling Annie's panic and frustration, as she simultaneously feels immense concern for her infant and her own health ( while also fighting that same panic because nothing gets your blood pressure up like worrying about the health of your unborn child.) It's terrifying.  And it's also fairly common. So I appreciated seeing it accurately depicted in "Before I Let You Go". In the following chapters, I felt for Lexie as she visits a struggling newborn in the NICU, and the upheaval her life went through when that newborn baby came home with her. I think the author, Kelly Rimmer, did an excellent job exploring the intense and mixed emotions of that whole experience - well done!

At other times, I really struggled reading "Before I Let You Go".  I just wasn't sure I connected with the heart of the novel, or even what that might be. Besides rooting for the infant, Daisy, I didn't really know whose side or camp I fell into in their world. Several times during the book, Lexie states that she can not imagine her sister, Annie, being able to get her life together enough to pass the court's expectations. And from what we have seen of Annie, this makes sense. As a reader, I rooted for Annie to recover enough to be a good mother to Daisy, but I also agreed with those around her that  significant changes were necessary. I also understood the anger that Lexie felt about her choice to do drugs while pregnant, and the compassion she felt towards her sister equally, as well. Life is a mess, y'all, and we're all just doing our best with what we are dealt.

It was confusing to me, though, that at one point in the book, Lexie spent hours reviewing the law to find a loophole that would keep her sister and the baby together. And then that attitude continued in the novel, as Lexie tried to find a way to keep her sister from going to rehab or jail. And as I was reading, I kept stopping to ask myself, why- Why would you want your sister, who you know is addicted to drugs and lives in an unsuitable home for a child, to have her baby - and how would that loophole you're hoping to find help anyone? It just didn't make sense and frustrated my sympathy for both Annie and Lexie.

Building empathy and understanding in the context of this book's material is so important. I wanted to see more of a connection drawn between Annie's addiction, and the problematic complications that come from that - her right to a fair shot at parenting while also acknowledging the inherent risks. There was a significant conversation late in the novel between Lexie and a social worker,  that shed so much light for me on drug addiction and pregnancy in a much more nuanced way, and I greatly appreciated it. However, I think it would've been much more helpful and useful to readers at the beginning of the book, and throughout it as well.

I applaud "Before I Let You Go" for addressing this difficult and relevant topic, and for making Annie's character so fully formed. The author, Kelly Rimmer, does an excellent job showing how Annie's difficulties in life arose, and how complicated and interwoven they are with her drug use. And ultimately, why that tangled web resulted in a drug addiction that felt impossible to shake.

But as well formed as Annie's character felt, there were other character's  in the novel that were exceptionally flat - such as Sam, Lexie's fiance - a literal perfect human being. I found myself repeatedly frustrated reading Lexie's concerns over Sam "reacting" to something, such as the idea of their caring for Annie's child permanently - her worries fell flat for me, because through out the novel Sam is nearly perfect and a constant source of strength and love for Lexie. Not only did his character feel unreal, but Lexie's concerns about his behavior felt unnatural as well.

I do think the novel could've been improved by the use of an additional perspective, someone on the outside of the family, but inside the story- such as a social worker or the psychiatrist at the rehabilitation facility. While Lexie is understandably biased towards her sister, at times that bias was so illogical that i had trouble continuing with the story.

Kelly Rimmer’s Before I Let You Go intrigued me from the moment I read the synopsis, leaving me wanting more. When it came around to picking this one up, I was more than willing to dive straight in.

From the very first page, this one sucked me in. It’s a book that deals with a heavy topic in a wonderful way, bring to light so many details. It gets you thinking about aspects of addiction you may not have thought about otherwise, sucking you into the story and leaving your mind running through the possibilities even when finished.

It’s not just a book that leaves you thinking, though. It also has a wonderful storyline, one that has you turning the pages at a rapid pace to see how everything plays out. You will have expectations and notions in mind, yet you will continue to turn the pages as you wait to see exactly how it plays out. With so many elements involved in this story, with so many things touched upon, you will be desperate to receive all the details.

Despite giving this a three-star-rating, I would label this one a three-point-five-star read. The reason I decided to round down was because of the information to emotion ratio. I love a book with a lot of information in, when it is clear the author has researched the topic. However, with this one, I felt as though there were times that we were buried under all the information and it covered up the emotional aspect. It was a book with lots of emotion, but the pacing was slowed when we were receiving a lot of information and at times this interrupted my emotional connection. Hence why I rounded down instead of up with my rating.

Overall, this was a great book – very much worth reading if you’re looking for an intense read about addiction.

Before I Let You Go is such an emotional and heart breaking read... this definitely tugged on my heart strings!

Kelly Rimmer ever so gracefully pours her beautiful words across the pages of this novel about loss, addiction, strength, and love. 

Lexie Vidler and her sister Annie have had quite the heart-breaking past with Annie's addiction to heroin. Lexie hasn't spoken to her sister in 2 years and one night gets a phone call at 2 am. Lexie thought she has been through it all with Annie, but her world is quickly turned upside down in 2 seconds after she hears that Annie is pregnant. Lexie has always been there for her sister but this time is different.... she needs to protect her sister and her niece. 

As you can imagine, there is so much pressure on Annie getting sober for not only herself but her baby. Lexie and Annie have such a deep rooted past with so many un-resolved issues on both of their parts. I can't imagine how Lexie or Annie would feel in this situation. 

Kelly Rimmer does an amazing job with the characterization in this novel. You can really feel what Lexie is going through and what Annie is going through. 

Of course, due to Annie's substance abuse CPS became involved in this case very quickly. I am familiar with very similar cases as Annie's situation. I was highly annoyed in the beginning of this novel, because the social worker in this novel was portrayed as the typical stereotype that society associates with social workers (lack of empathy and taking children away from their families). But, as the novel progresses author defines how dysfunctional our foster care system truly is. I see this every single day as a social worker and it's refreshing to see a book that actually portrays this. 

Addiction is such a heart breaking disease and it affects so many people in different ways and I feel that we need more education on this topic in our society.

I enjoyed this novel but I think due to my experience with cases like this I saw the outcome of the novel about 30 percent in. 
I also felt like the character of Lexie was a little repetitive with her feelings and felt that the author could have taken a bit of a back seat with this.

Overall, 3.5 stars for me on this one.

This was a traveling sister read and I enjoyed each sister's viewpoint on this difficult topic of addiction. 

Thank you to Netgalley and Harlequin for an advanced arc in exchange for my honest review.
Published to GR: 3/18/18
Publication date: 4/3/18

Before I Let You Go by Kelly Rimmer is a heartbreaking yet thought-provoking novel that sensitively and realistically portrays addiction.

 As children, Lexie Vidler promised her father she would always take care of her younger sister, Annie. For the past six years, this promise has been increasingly difficult to keep as Annie’s drug addiction worsens. Two years ago, Lexie finally cut off all ties with Annie but when her sister makes a frantic 2 AM phone call, she cannot refuse to help. Because this time, Annie is pregnant and her unborn baby is in jeopardy. So with her fiancé, Sam Hawke, at her side, Lexie is drawn back into the chaos that always surrounds Annie.

 Neither Lexie nor Annie are particularly likable characters (which is painful to admit since the storyline is so captivating). Lexie is a successful doctor but her relationship with Annie is so incredibly dysfunctional.  Lexie is determined to  take care of her sister’s latest mess on her own despite the fact that Sam is willing to help and should be included in making decisions since what is occurring directly affects him as well. Lexie’s stubborn refusal to let him help becomes tiresome as does her conviction that cleaning up her sister’s messes is HER responsibility not Annie’s.

 It is always frustrating when an adult refuses to see that a childhood request to take care of a sibling is not a lifelong sentence or commitment.  This is especially true since Annie’s addiction is NOT Lexie’s responsibility and she has become the worst enabler as she makes excuses for her sister and refuses to hold Annie accountable for her actions.  Lexie has put herself into incredible debt as she continues to pay for rehab and while it is understandable that she desperately wants to help Annie kick her addiction,  she refuses to acknowledge that ANNIE has to decide she wants to get sober. Without this commitment and a dedicated effort to understand why she turns to drugs to cope, Annie will never maintain her sobriety.  Annie’s journal entries provide incredible insight into her past and how her inability to deal with her horrific ordeal set her on the path to addiction.

 Before I Let You Go is a deeply affecting novel with a topical storyline about opioid addiction. Kelly Rimmer never downplays the effects of addiction on the addict’s family and she accurately portrays the heartrending withdrawal that is experienced by a baby born to a drug addicted mother. This insightful glimpse of drug addiction and its effects on the addict’s loved ones is an engrossing novel that is emotional, heart wrenching and ultimately, healing.

What a fantastic read!!

After falling in love with Kelly Rimmer’s previous novel “A Mother’s Confession”, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to read this upcoming novel.

Lexie Vidler is a doctor who is used to getting calls in the middle of the night on her cell phone. Although she hasn’t spoken to her sister, Annie in more than two years, Lexie isn’t surprised to hear Annie’s voice when her landline rings at 2:00am. She tries to prepare herself for the only thing contact with Annie has brought her over the years…

Chaos

“Lexie, you have to help me – I think I’m dying.”

Instantly, Lexie can tell her sister is high, and angrily tells her to go to the hospital. Her fiancé, Sam is now awake and seems surprised at her tone. However, this isn’t the first middle of the night call she’s received from her little sister….

“I’ve been dealing with her addiction for years, and even after a two-year break from the drama, the weariness returns as soon as she does. If this was a one-off, I’d probably panic and rush to her aid – but it’s not. I have lost count of Annie’s desperate 2:00 a.m. phone calls.”

But Lexie is completely unprepared for what Annie says next….

“Lexie, I’m pregnant. I can’t go to the hospital. I just can’t”.

Lexie has always tried to be there for Annie. When they were young, their father died and their mother went to pieces. Emotionally they were on their own and so Lexie was the one who stepped up to take care of Annie. Lexie had always promised her father that she would take care of Annie. But when Annie pulled a stunt two years earlier that almost got Lexie fired, she knew she had to cut ties with her sister. But THIS is different. This time it’s not just Annie that needs her.

So much is riding on Annie getting clean. Lexie wants to advocate for her sister, but their complicated past has left her with mixed feelings. For Annie to get better and to heal, she will need to address the issues she’s tried to suppress by self-medicating. The secrets she kept from everyone….including Lexie.

Wow! Once again, Kelly Rimmer has written a book that I couldn’t put down. I was hooked from the start and became completely engrossed in the story and its characters. I could relate to the sister's complicated relationship. Because of my own experiences and relationships, some parts of the book hit me very hard. I was emotional and even angry at times. It made me question some of my own pre-conceived notions. And though I’ve finished the book…I can’t stop thinking about it.

This was definitely a thought-provoking read with some controversial issues that could help start some important discussions. The author has obviously done her research and I feel like the story was well-balanced, honest, realistic, and of course, interesting.

“Before I Let You Go” is a well-written and poignant book about love, family, addiction, abuse, loss, and forgiveness. Another great read from Kelly Rimmer that I won’t soon forget.

Thank you to NetGalley and Graydon House for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest review.