Every once in awhile a young adult book comes along that is so profound I want to shout from the rooftop about its greatness. Someone I Used to Know is such a book. Revolving around rape culture in America, it depicts the impact of rape on the victim, the victim's family, and the community. Blount did this in a way that was relevant, meaningful, and packed an emotional punch.

Ashley, a high school freshman at the time, was raped. By a senior football player. In an effort to score points in a "game" the players historically participated in during homecoming week. Following the rape, the football program was cancelled. Now, two years later, it's been re-instituted with a new coach. Ashley must decide how to deal with the feelings this evokes. She has to decide if she's going to continue being a victim or fight back.

One of the things I most appreciated about Someone I Used to Know was how accurately Blount portrayed the football culture. Being from Texas (originally) I understand that it's a form of religion in a large part of the U.S. and the players and coaches are deified. They're also excused of a lot with the "boys will be boys" justification. While Blount provided statistics showing sexual assault and rape is more prevalent during the football season, especially on college campuses, she also showed how rape culture is ingrained in so many elements of our society. She offered a broader definition of rape culture, how many of us don't think twice about some things (like jokes or advertisements), and things we can do to try to affect change.

Blount's portrayal of how rape affects not only the victim but others as well is the other thing I most admired about this story. She drew these amazing and flawed characters in Ashley, her brothers and parents, and her friends. She detailed how the rape and its aftermath affected them all, as well as the community. And then Blount developed them so richly - ALL of them - to show their emotional growth and the way they determined to deal, in a healthy way, with all they'd been struggling with.

I found the character growth in Ashley and her brother, Derek, most meaningful since they'd been close when they were younger but had drifted apart in recent years and then were torn apart following the rape. Ashley was so strong despite not considering herself that way. She chose to be a part of the change she wanted to see, to stand up for herself and others. Derek also chose to affect change. I liked that the ways in which he chose to do it were ways that would help Ashley, and others like her, but he did these things for himself...to prove, if only to himself, he was a better man. It was profound and a profoundly inspiring experience.

Someone I Used to Know was my first read from Blount but it WILL NOT be my last. (In fact I already have Some Boys lined up.) It's a book everyone should read because it'll make you think. And I hope, if you do read it, you'll find it as inspiring as I did.

I really enjoyed this story, even though the topic was so incredibly heavy and dark.

Ashley was a strong, yet full of flaws, protagonist, who did the very best she could to deal with being raped by someone she knew and trusted. May sexual assaults happen by those who someone knows, not complete strangers, so I appreciated the author making this distinction.

The most brutally honest part of the entire book was how Ashley's brother and family deal with the aftermath. Rape doesn't effect just one person and the fact the brother was friends with the rapist added an extra layer to the entire story.

Overall, this was an incredibly powerful story that needed to be told and I hope a lot of teenagers take some very important points from the book.

This was a powerful book about an all too important topic. I’m so glad to see more YA books tackling rape culture. I am proud that my kids have more access to this information and more reading to help them understand these important issues. “Boys will be boys” is unacceptable. It is time for us to do better and to BE better. This book is one more push in the right direction

Wow this was a powerful book. To be honest I wasn’t sure about this book at the beginning it has a lot of back-and-forth with the timeline and I kept getting pulled out of the story at the beginning but I’m so glad that I continued with it. In this book we follow two different perspectives the first one is of a girl,Ashley, who was raped two years ago and is still dealing with the trauma of the event. The other point of you we get is her brother Derek who was on the same football team as his sisters rapist and did not do his best at supporting his sister and dealing with this event.

We deal with two different timelines we get scenes from the year in which the rape happened and present day which is two years later. The school Ashley goes to and where the sexual assault happened had banned football team after Ashley’s rape and now two years later the football team is being reinstated. Ashley is having to deal with this added trigger. Derek is a freshman in college and he’s dealing with his guilt, his lack of knowledge of rape culture, and trying to come to terms with his part in what happened with sister.

This book was done so well the topics were handled in a way that I don’t think I’ve ever read in a YA book because I find with books about sexual assault if there’s a romance aspect then the romance seems to break the reality of the sexual assault trauma. This one has two different romances; Derek has a girlfriend, and Ashley has a love interest. They are both done in a excellent way. Sexual assault is a part of each of these romantic relationships because they’re a part of these two different people. I never once felt like the actions of the couples went against the natural progression that would occur in a relationship with someone who is a survivor or family member of a survivor of a sexual assault.

I highly recommend this book I do think it could be very triggering for someone who has experience sexual assault. There are also anxiety attacks that are described in detail. Y can really picture and almost feel what the character is feeling when they’re having these anxiety attacks. Those are the two things I think you should be aware of going in because they are depicted in a really realistic way.

Smashing the patriarchy, one Pinterest board at a time!

** Trigger warning for rape, obviously. **

“Ms. Lawrence,” he says, taking off his glasses. “I understand how you feel—”
“Really?” I snap back. “How did you get over your rape?”

“The reason men like Ariel Castro and Elliot Rodger and Aaron Persky exist is because men like us never called them out on their bullshit the first time they showed it.”

THEN: Ashley Lawrence and her older brother Derek used to be BFFs. Until they weren’t. But even all Derek’s conventionally crappy older brother behavior – ditching his younger sister, giving her a mean-spirited nickname, and just generally shunning her at school – couldn’t foreshadow his reaction when Ashley is at first sexually harassed, and then raped by his football teammate Victor Patton as part of a “team-building” scavenger hunt. When called to testify, Derek partakes in the same rape culture that paved the way for Vic’s violation of Ashley: He dismisses the scavenger hunt as “just a game,” and says that he doesn’t think Vic should be punished too harshly. For raping his fourteen-year-old sister. Needless to say, the rape and its aftermath cause something of a rift in the Lawrence family.

Told from Ashley and Derek’s alternating perspectives, in a series of then/now flashbacks and present-day narration, SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW explores how toxic masculinity, the idolatry of the high school football team, and rape culture more broadly contributed to Ashley’s rape, and shaped the community’s reaction to the resulting trial, Victor’s conviction, and the (short-lived) cancellation of the football program.

NOW: It’s been two years since Vic raped Ashley at homecoming; much has changed, but also not. Bellford High School is about to re-institute the football program, and Victor is getting out of prison after serving just sixteen months of a paltry two-year sentence. The Lawrence’s marriage is on the brink of collapse, as mom and dad both have different ideas of how to deal with Ashley and Derek’s feud, for lack of a better term.

For me, this was one of the more interesting (and frustrating! parents, gawd!) parts of the story, since I have a younger brother I haven’t spoken to in twenty years or so. The rift has nothing to do with sexual assault, thankfully, just him generally behaving like a jerk. It was illuminating to see the effect it had on the senior Lawrences, though I was disappointed that mom and dad didn’t more firmly come down on Ashley’s side, given the circumstances.

Ashley is an amazing, take-no-shite protagonist who turns to activism to deal with her trauma: with the help of Sebastian, the only truly “nice guy” on the football team, she starts a club called Bengals Against Rape, and challenges her community to “Raise the BAR” when it comes to their treatment of girls and women. Likewise, Derek – now in self-exile at college in Long Island, hundreds of miles from home – joins Guys Against Rape, where he’s disgusted to be just one of six men at the first meeting.

Whereas the bulk of the story feels authentic and believable – depressingly so – Derek’s sudden discovery that RAPE CULTURE IS REAL! and complete 180 from rape apologist to #1 DEFENDER OF WOMEN FOR ALL TIME! strained my credulity a bit. That said, I understand the need to end things on a somewhat hopeful note, and the one Blount struck isn’t too far out there. And, to be fair, Blount is quick to point out Derek’s flaws, which cannot be wholly and immediately covered up by his good intentions. More so, we all have work to do, a concept that’s adeptly illustrated by this one really great brainstorming scene between Ashley and Sebastian (where the latter reminds the former that not all rape victims are female, and it’s important to acknowledge them too).

In sum, SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW is a pretty great – by which I mean insightful and illuminating, if damn depressing – exploration of rape culture, from “innocuous” and ubiquitous “sex sells” advertising to rape “jokes” and “jokey” rape threats; from sexual harassment to rape apologism, and everything in between. What Vic did to Ashley definitely falls on the more extreme end of the spectrum, but the various and sundry “smaller” slights that came before and after are all part and parcel of a culture that enables and excuses violence against women.

I loved this book. I cried, I laughed. Sometimes you feel like you are the only one in the world who has experienced something very painful or did something very hurtful. I wish there were organizations on all the campuses and high schools that dealt with rape and assault. The ending was the best news.

It's been two years since Ashley was raped by one of her brothers teammates. One year since she had to sit in a courtroom and see her rapist get a slap on the wrist of a 2 year sentence. She still thinks about the event every second of every day. It's tearing her family apart and when it all comes to a head at Thanksgiving, will the family be able to fix their relationships? Will Ashley ever be able to forgive her brother and be as close as they once were?
Just a heads up this book does have a trigger warning as it talks about sexual assault and rape quite a lot. These two topics are a huge focus of the book and I think the author did a great job spreading awareness. I really liked that the chapters alternate between Ashley and her brother Derek. Also that in those chapters there's a mix of storylines from different times in their lives including their childhood, 2 years ago when the rape happened and a year ago during the trial.
One of my favorites things about this book would have to be how the author ties in real campaigns and hashtags. She included Project Unbreakable as well as #MeToo and #YesAllWomen. I'd never heard of Project Unbreakable and looked it up while reading this book. It's a very powerful message spread through pictures of sexual assault victims holding pieces of paper with things said to them during or after what happened to them.
I received a free advanced ebook copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

This book was given to me in an exchange for my honest opinion. I will start by saying Rape is not an easy read some people would stay clear since Rape is not an easy subject to handle or at times talk about .... however to those people I will say Rape is something that happens and we shouldn’t shy away from it or put it under the rug people that have the courage to come forward needs us to stand by them and listen to them and not question what The victim did wrong trust me they already know that and are more than likely hard on themselves as well they don’t need our added 2 cents.
Someone I used to know is a book from 2 points of view Ashley and Derek they are siblings the most horrible thing that can happen to a human being happens to Ashley she is rape but not only does she needs to continue living she needs to endure a trial where as we are all too familiar with perpetrators are not punished hard enough they get a slide and a slap on the wrist. But here is where these siblings lose themselves without giving too much away we have Derek and Ashley trying to find a way to survive and not destroy each other in the process as their family crumbles all around them.
Patty Blount does an amazing job with this book this is my first read by Patty but I immediately after reading this book decided to buy another one of her books she addresses in this book so many different social issues that are going on.
Patty you had me crying from anger and frustration as I was able to feel all that pain and emotions that you are able to project through your writing.
To the rest of us this book is also an eye opener let’s all encourage people to talk about this and not keep things bottle up and please let’s not ever blame the victim let’s do something to get the law to punish to the extend that is needed.

You ever read a story that rips you open and leaves you a mess? Ever read a story so inspiring it makes you want to change the world? That's this story.

Someone I Used to Know was an amazing story. Patty Blount is an amazing author and any time I see she has a book coming out I jump on board to read her books.

Two years ago Ashley was raped and today she's still coping with everything that happened to her. The story goes back and forth between Ashley and her brother, Derek. Ashley is doing everything she can to get the school to be a safe place for not just her, but everyone. Derek ran away to college and is trying to cope with what happened to his sister and the role he played in the disaster.

I truly loved this story. I first read Some Boys and I loved how I got to be able to see those amazing characters again. It's a look at survivors of rape and how those survivors aren't always only the victims. Ashley and Derek's family is falling apart and the story goes back and forth between who the characters were before the event and after.

Further, this story discusses rape culture and how it's constantly shoved into the media.

I felt this story was very well done. I would recommend this story to any and everyone. I loved that the book didn't have any trigger scenes in it, but still painted the picture of what happened that night to Ashley. I also loved how bringing the other characters in from Some Boys shows the long-lasting effects of trauma can affect someone long past the event.

Someone I Used to Know is an amazing story of survivors. I can't wait to add this book to my shelves soon.

I received a copy of this book for a fair and honest review. I was not how I would read this. I was worried it would be triggered. It was a bit hard for me to read and I would not sure how I would handling all that she went through in this book. That line that is listed at the top of the summary. I have here this phrase in my own life for a situation when I was in junior high. So I have a lot of feeling for Ashley and what happened to her. I did not like how it was handle but that is very true to reality. I was not sure about how the family and brother handled it. I am trembling a little as I write this. I do recommend this book.

*I received a free copy of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.*

One of the things I like about this book is that it shows how rape and sexual assault affect everybody, not just the direct victim. It really is everyone’s problem. I’m also left with quite a few questions—not about the book, but for someone I know who is a survivor.

The book is written in chapters alternating between Ashley and her brother Derek. There are “Now” portions and flashbacks, sometimes going back to when they were little kids. It’s very effective in showing how such a rift formed between siblings who were once quite close, as well as showing how Ashley’s rape changed them (and their whole family).

As main characters, Ashley and Derek are at times likable and at others are infuriating. Derek can be a real jerk, and Ashley can be a huge pain. But I can see each perspective. I like seeing the change in Derek as the book progressed. I admit, as horrible as it is, that there was a good portion of the book when I liked Derek more than I liked Ashley. I felt like he was trying, was changing, but that all Ashley did was think of herself to the point that she kept punishing her family. But I feel like a terrible person for even having those thoughts because I, thankfully, have never been in her position.

I’m not typically one who quotes a book in its review, but this one is something I’ve thought for years:

“Forgiveness is rarely this once-and-done thing. It’s an ongoing battle, a struggle to remember that love is worth more than pain, and that fighting for it matters more than a grudge.”

Note: This book is about rape (though the rape itself is not described). Lots of swearing, including f words.

“All this time, I thought I was a man, but I wasn’t. I was a pretender, a wannabe. Now these protestors are daring me to be a real man, a man who’s not afraid to tell other dudes when their jokes aren’t funny, when they’re coming on way too strong…and a man who’s not afraid to hear it when he’s the one being a jerk.”


This started out as a pretty strong story; Ashley dealing with the aftereffects of her rape, victim blaming, back-lash from destroying a high school football team, and the strain on family members. Her brother, Derek, deals with his own self-loathing for the way he reacted to her accusation and the blowout afterward.

The characters are mostly believable. Ashley struggles with PTSD, her family is torn between helping her heal and reaching out to the estranged Derek, and Derek morns for the little sister he lost and struggles to understand it all.

Half way through the book it became less about the characters and more about how much information the author could squeeze in. There are teachable, moral filled stories that have lessons added for the readers benefit, and there is this type of story; full of information dumps and riddled with the author’s opinions instead of the subject matter instead of letting the plot and characters lead the story. Derek going to meetings about on campus rape culture became a long winded, preachy, information dump for the readers. I don’t exactly enjoy a book that just preaches at me.

When you leave aside all the heightened hormone induced drama courtesy of the YA genre, you will find a deeply poignant, emotional and painful read. It’a a wake-up call for everyone, not just the male gender.

The majority of rapists are men, but let’s not forget there are female perpetrators too. Following on from that particular train of thought let’s also acknowledge male and child victims too. Statistics give us a harrowing view of how many women are raped, bearing in mind that there is a suggestion that over 90% of rapes go unreported because victims feel they won’t be believed, fear the repercussions and often may not even comprehend it was rape.

There are less statistics on male-on-male rape, women-on-male and women-on-women rape, often because of the stigma attached to it and the firm belief no one will believe them, or even ridicule them. None of those facts minimise the reality that in their lifetime every girl or woman will experience some kind of sexual harassment, assault or molestation.

The story is timely because the Me Too and Time’s Up movement is trying to break the wall of silence and dismissal. It is asking the sisterhood to stand up and support one another.

Blount takes an introspective look at the family dynamics of the victim’s family after the rape of a teenage girl. How the men in her family react and speak to, about and on the subject of her assault. In particular how one of her brothers has to come to terms with being part of the rape culture and a rape apologist, even going so far as to help her rapist get a lesser charge.

Kudos to the author for not letting the story be dominated by the rapist, by his presence, his experience or his thoughts on his actions. This is purely and simply about Ashley – the victim and the survivor.

The reader follows Ashley, as she is dealing with the physical and psychological scars of her rape. This includes the atrocious behaviour of her peers, her teachers and the people in town. We as a society must ask ourselves why we always blame the victim of a rape and seek to protect the rapist, especially when that rapist is a just a normal popular guy. Why do whole towns protect frat boys, football players and good ol’ boys, and blame and hound the victim, because hey gang-raping girls for fun is completely normal right?

While I am on the subject the law also needs to stop allowing lawyers and judges to present the sexual past of a victim, so they can imply any history of sexual activity equates to them being a whore and a liar. The rapists aren’t subjected to the same scrutiny in the courtroom, why are the victims?

It is painful read at times, full of fear and anger. The author doesn’t want the reader to feel sympathy, but rather an empathy towards Ashley and women like her. More importantly this is a call to arms for boys and men. It’s a shout-out to make them acknowledge and comprehend rape culture, and to intervene and speak up when someone is crossing the line. Even the verbal line, the one that suggests and encourages the next move.

It’s an important story, the type we need to tell over and over again until everyone understands what rape culture is. Parents need to raise their sons to respect and to understand consent. We need to teach all our children both boys and girls. It should be part of the school curriculum.

Grab the tissues because you will need it for this one. It's raw, emotional and heart wrenching. You will immediately empathize with Ashley and everything that she was put through. Absolutely pick up this winner of a book but once you start you will not want to put it down. Happy reading!

Thank you NetGalley for introducing me to Patty Blount. She's a wonderful writer and most of her books will now end up on my TBR list.

SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW was a heavy read. I think the message is strong and it's good to fight this cause. But you need insides to get through a whole length of a book on the subject of rape.

I enjoyed Some Boys so I figured I'd give SIUTK a try. While the book was well written and enjoyable, like Some Boys, I found some parts sort of meh. Such as Derek's character who I found poorly developed and used more as a plot point.

This book is Phenomenal!! Anyone who has a #MeToo or #YesAllWomen story or know someone who does (trust me you do!) should absolutely take some time out and read this book. Someone I Used to kNOw may help you see what you have been blind to. This story could not have more beautifully or elegantly ripped your heart out. The way Patty Blount told this story was absolutely perfect! Even going from the present, back two years ago, and then back before, Blount managed to make it fit together flawlessly and make you understand everything you needed to know about the story and the people involved. Even as a woman with my own #MeToo stories this book showed me views I may not have looked at closely enough and helped me understand things in a way I hadn't fully. Someone I Used to kNOw has truly become one of the best books I've read and definitely on my favorites list. I am so grateful for the chance to read early and will have to have this as part of my physical book collection.
I hope you'll take the time to read this wonderful book.

Note: This review contains NO spoilers

I am still processing what I just read. This story discusses the real tough issue of sexual assault/rape. In a society that sexualizes everything, it blurs the line of a person's right to say NO, when it definitely is a hard in that should never be crossed. Someone I Used To Know takes a hard look of the aftermath of such an event, especially within a family. Yes, the family suffers just as much as the victim. Patty Blount delivers a very emotional and gripping story of a brother and sister, indirectly and directly, respectively, that must endure all the emotions that deeply affects them to the point that it can break their family apart. Patty goes into great detail of the emotional and mental anguish everyone endures, even a couple years after, and tries to deal with it.

OMG! This is definitely a "must read" for everyone. Thought I was going to have an anxiety attack myself as I followed Ashley's and Derek's story. Not only was this an emotionally riveting story, it was also suspenseful in the sense that I was literally "holding my breath" until the end to find out the outcome of their efforts for rape/sexual assault awareness. I seriously got emotional at the end. Wow! Seriously! You gotta READ THIS!

For two years Ashley has suffered because of something terrible that happened to her. Worse, her brother took sides and unfortunately that side wasn't hers. But with another Thanksgiving approaching and her mom wanting the whole family home, can Ashley find it within herself to forgive or will she continue to let her pain and anger keep riding her hard enough to never fully heal from her trauma?

What an utterly emotional, fast-paced, engaging read Ms. Blount has delivered in this book where emotions run high because a family is torn apart by something terrible. Will Ashley ever fully heal from what she went through? However, it was from the moment the heroine started to do something to fight back where this story really takes off because she's determined to make people understand what she's been through and is still going through because of what happened.

As for the dialogue, it was intense and had me crying on and off throughout this story because of what the heroine has been through and how tough it's been for her, especially when it came to the trial and feeling that her brother betrayed her. However, I liked the choices she makes, as she needs to heal from what happened to her. While the heroine's brother, he was a wonderful character and I couldn't help but sympathize with him, as he feels so much guilt over what happened. Yet, in saying that, I liked the decisions he makes in order to have a better understanding of all his sister has suffered and how he can help others have a better understanding too. Will he be able to make things right between him and his sister?

Overall, Ms. Blount has penned a really good read in this book where I loved the growing relationship between Ashley and the boy that's been by her side through thick and thin when it should have been her brother looking out for her. However, it was the ending that was heart-warming and had me crying happy tears because family is important and worth fighting for. No way can they keep going the way they're going -- daughter versus son. Yet, it was the epilogue that wrapped this story up nicely because of how things turned out and how happy everyone is, especially Ashley. I would recommend Someone I Used to Know by Patty Blount, if you're looking for a story that will tug at your heartstrings or if you enjoy books by authors Devney Perry, Elle Kennedy, Tillie Cole and Denise Grover Swank.

***Trigger Warning: deals with rape and especially its aftermath and recovery

Two years ago Ashley Lawrence was raped. The trial against the boy who raped her played it down, convicting him of sexual assault, which carries a lesser sentence. Now he's getting out of prison earlier than expected. For two years, Ashley's had to try and learn to cope with her trauma. She has a strained relationship with her family, is estranged from her brother Derek, and still gets flak at school for 'being the one who got football cancelled’. Two years ago, Ashley Lawrence was raped. Today, she's taking back control of her life.

Told from both Ashley, and Derek’s viewpoints, and alternating between two years previous, and present day, Blount’s Someone I Used to Know is a psychological exploration of trauma and recovery. It is a story about how one incident can come to define your entire life. In Ashley's case, it was a horrific violation of womanhood. And it's a story about learning to live beyond that incident. It will shape you, yes, how could it not? But it doesn't have to define you. It was nice to see Ashley's viewpoint balanced by her brother's experiences. She struggled with the trauma, but Derek’s struggled with guilt. I had never really considered that there are 'secondary survivors’ to rape, those people closest to the victim, who deal with the feeling that they should have seen it coming, or stopped it from happening, that they could have done more.

The intense emotions that Ashley and Derek both felt were imminently believable. Beware! You will need tissues! Several times I found myself completely choked up. I wanted to yell at Ashley and Derek, to shake them and tell them to be honest and open with each other. I'm glad they finally did. Part of Ashley’s rage at her brother had to do with accidentally overhearing Derek say something, and misunderstanding what was behind it. I grok how damaging that can be, and it dredged up dark memories for me. They're ones I've come to better understand over the years, but it can still stab a needle in my heart.

It's really disgusting to think that Vic got away with raping a young woman, and how people seemed to think he the injured party. Or that people brushed her rape off as being Ashley's fault. Reading this also really helped me find perspective on my broken friendship thanks to Dumbass Trump. I chose to break with people I had been friends with for decades, when I learned how rabidly Trump they were, this being right before election. In one case, this opened a dialogue to discussion. In the other two, they supported Rump’s misogynistic and sexist comments by saying it was just 'locker room talk’ that 'all guys do’ and people (like me) should stop making a big deal about it. I realised I didn't know these people as well as I thought, and that our core values were very different. They told me I was overreacting, and got mad at me. I was horrified. Had this male friend every spoken about me like that, with his male friends? And how could the female friend agree? How could they support a president who thought sexual assault was okay and acceptable? And yet, deep down, some part of me kept wondering if I had overreacted. Reading this helped me be at ease, knowing that no, I hadn't. I'd acted on my ethics and morals.

From helping others truly understand the emotions caused by trying to cope with such trauma, to exploring rape culture and how males passively or actively support it and how they can start putting an end to it, there are many great lessons buried in this book. Highly recommended!

***Many thanks to Netgalley and Barclay Publishing for providing an egalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.