Many thanks to Netgalley, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, and John Jay Osborn for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are 100& my own and independent of receiving an advanced copy.

How much power, emotion, honesty, and truth can be packed into 256 pages? Quite a bit, if you are talking about “Listen To The Marriage”. What an incredible experience it was to be a fly on the wall, while Gretchen and Steve pore their hearts out to Sandy, their marriage councillor. I was completely caught up in their struggle, reading it all in one afternoon. I had been having a hard time, of late, trying to find a book to latch onto. Flitting from horror to magic to mystery, but nope, it was this little tiny gem about betrayal, growth and change that grabbed me. Once I started, I couldn’t put it down.

Gretchen and Steve are broken. So much so, that they are afraid they are headed for divorce. They find themselves in the office of Sandy, an unconventional marriage therapist. Can they pick up the pieces and put themselves together again? When they do, who will they be? Will they stay together or forge life ahead, apart? Told mostly through the therapist’s voice, we get a rare glimpse into what a marriage looks like, how what starts with love and hopes and dreams can get derailed into something so unrecognizable that you are driving straight into an abyss. Sandy is wise, patient and surprisingly non-judgemental for someone who can clearly see into these people’s motives. Both Gretchen and Steve have to do the work of breaking down walls and opening up about their feelings, in order to see what, if anything, is left between them. If you have ever sat in a therapist’s office, a lot of this will ring true. For example, Sandy always remains impartial, but damned if Gretchen doesn’t accuse her of secretly being on Steve’s side. Very typical, especially if your therapist is not always agreeing with you and maybe challenging you to grow.

If you are married, or have been married for a while, you will find something to relate to in Gretchen and Steve’s marriage. It takes you through all the mess that marriage can be. How you start out on a team and after some time goes by, without quite knowing how, you end up pitted against each other, just trying to keep your head above water and stop from losing yourself altogether. If you are lucky, you have healthy ways to communicate and respect each other’s boundaries. Sometimes, there is betrayal. Steve has an affair and Gretchen has to find a way to forgive him, regardless if they get back together. Once children are part of the picture, you are forever tied to one another.

I am still married. I related so much to this novel, it was a bit of a sob-fest for me. I completely understood Gretchen’s rage at how unfair it was that now that Steve had changed and became this self-aware, great father, someone else was going to get the benefit of all her hard work. I also recognized the pattern of speak that a couple can sometimes get into. You have the same conversation, over and over again, it almost writes itself. It is hard to break out of that without the help of someone from the outside. I thought the choice Osborn made to have the voice of the therapist narrate the novel brilliant, because how else can the reader stay impartial. It was a bit unrealistic how omnipotent she was with her clients. I doubt therapists are so in tune with their patients. If they were, no one would divorce. I recognized the desire to be “right” over the desire to try and fix things. How about saying something you don’t really mean because you are trying to cover up for how hurt you are.

There were a few unrealistic issues that did crop up other than Sandy being omnipotent. The couple never argued about money. Both were successful. I understood why the author made that choice. I’m going to assume it was because he could focus more on feelings but it rang a little false. Everyone argues about money, even people that have it. It also meant that it was easy for Gretchen to move out and find a place. Steve could jump from an apartment to this beautiful house without missing a beat. Finances bring a whole other dimension and host of problems to a divorce or separation and Osborn chose to ignore those in this situation. I think I understand why, but again, it was a little bell going off in the back of my head.

I was a little surprised that this was written by a man. I had no idea that a man could have so much insight into how a woman feels. The writing was really good. The pace of the novel moved quickly and, like I said, I couldn’t put it down. I had to know what happened. I was really rooting for them, even though I couldn’t see how that could happen after everything that had gone on up to this point. The cover is perfect and I love the symbolism of the green chair. At the end I was spent and completely satisfied. Don’t go looking for romantic gestures and fantasy dialogue in this novel. Only hard truths and raw emotion - the best that real life has to offer. But in the best way possible.

This was such an interesting take on marital counseling. I especially liked the format of the book switching between each of the married partners and hearing their side of the story. Their therapist helped them see how each were wanting so much the same thing but were not able to fully communicate with each other. It made me think a lot about how I communicate in my own marriage and how language and how we use it is so important. I highly recommend this book.

Thank you Netgalley, the publisher for this opportunity to read this e-arc for my honest review.
I liked this book, in this world where everyone gives up easily it was nice to read about a couple wanting to work on their ruptured marriage.
How a marriage changes with children, career and unspoken words. How we take each other somehow for granted.
I love the Green Chair in the room which represented the marriage.
Well written and I wanted to know what would happen to the marriage.

This books looks at the failing of a marriage between Steve and Gretchen and their slow progress towards trusting each other again. It is narrated solely through the eyes of the marriage counsellor Sandy and the dialogues these three people are having. Through these dialogues the persons come to life and it becomes clear how they function and use or manipulate the other. It was a fascinating read to observe how thought and speech patterns are revealing and how Sandy forces them to think straight. Slowly both are re-connecting and make progress towards and for their marriage. Automatically, the reader will start to compare own patterns and this is where for me the value in this books is.
I would strongly recommend it.

A great read for a voyeuristic look inside the inner workings of a marriage in trouble - for anyone who's ever wished they could eavesdrop on another person's therapy session, this is for you. Well-drawn characters and premise - the plot is a bit more predictable than I'd hoped, but I couldn't stop reading it just the same. Perfect airplane book!

In “Listen to the Marriage” (2018) by award winning author John Jay Osborn : a professional couple from San Francisco, Gretchen and Steve, explore the problems, difficulties and challenges that led to their marital separation. This exceptionally written novel of observational narrative takes place in the office of a highly skilled marital therapist. It is apparent how quickly and easily marriage can be side tracked and derailed: as new ideas, methods and options are presented in dealing with marital conflict.

By the time Gretchen and Steve arrived at Sandy’s counselling office in Fillmore, they were in serious trouble. Steve had already made some drastic changes to become a better husband and father after the discovery of his affair with another woman. A respected businessman and partner in a private equity firm, Steve was a wise, serious and thoughtful man-- and with two small children he desperately wanted to avoid divorce.
Gretchen, a recently tenured professor of English at the University of San Francisco was enjoying an intense, passionate and retaliatory affair with Bill, a married English professor who taught at UCLA. Clearly, her great love for Bill could never last, though she couldn’t entertain that line of reasoning nor give much thought to the difficulties of being a divorced single parent. Steve had also invaded Gretchen’s privacy snooping on her computer and spent $1,500 dollars to obtain a detailed report on Gretchen’s new lover. According to Sandy, this was a normal reaction of a husband who wanted to save his marriage, and asked Steve to share what he had learned from the report.

It was interesting how Sandy challenged Steve and Gretchen on their misguided reasoning and failure to communicate effectively. Throughout the book Gretchen seemed unaware and clueless about Steve, the changes he had made and how desirable he was to other women, including a friend of hers. Marital affairs are only a symptom of larger problems between couples, and blaming one another is rarely productive. Osborne weaves psychological suspense into the story at every turn, as readers wonder if Steve and Gretchen will work together to save their marriage or file for divorce. **With thanks and appreciation to Macmillian via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.

I found this book rather boring with no characters with any redeeming qualities. It left me at times cheering for divorce and at other times feeling that these losers deserve each other and their multiple betrayals..

This just wasn't for me. There's so much rage in the small room where Gretchen and Steve are trying to work out their differences and I couldn't get past that. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. I DNF. This is well written and others might well like it but I can't recommend.

This is a rather strange book that tells the story of a fractured marriage through the couples' sessions with a marriage counselor. I've never been to marriage therapy so I don't know if this is the usual process, but it was all sort of depressing to me. The writing is ok, it's just the subject matter that I didn't care for. I didn't like the characters and didn't especially care what happened to them,.

This was an interesting read. I started out not really liking it; I hated all the characters and found them entirely unsympathetic and petty. But the perspective kind of sucked me in. The entire story is told from within the four walls of marriage therapy. You hear about things that happen outside the sessions, but the book itself is contained to the counseling sessions. It took me a while to realize this, but once I did, I warmed up to the book quite a bit (don't ask me why). By the end, I still hated all the characters, but I had a better appreciation for the book. I am glad it was on the shorter spectrum for length. Any longer and I would have struggled to finish it.

I've never been in marriage therapy so I have no frame of reference, but I'm actually glad this wasn't me, because I really never understood Sandy's methods or how she was guiding Gretchen and Steve. I knew where she was going and the end game she was looking for, but I couldn't see how she wanted them to get there. I would have never made it through those sessions myself without storming out in frustration.

My one "bravo" to the story was the green chair. No spoilers. I just enjoyed the reference to the green chair and how its meaning was revealed.

Overall, it was an interesting perspective on one marriage and the path toward trying to save it.

Thank you Netgalley for the advanced copy!
This was a quick, fast paced read.
The story digs into marriage and what can ruin it.
It takes place in a counseling office between sessions of a married couple struggling to stay married. The counselor is good at getting the couple to talk and learn about each other.
The book is relatable and I’d recommend it.

Gosh, but, it's a hard read! I found it claustrophobic, but, engrossing as this couple tear each other apart in their regular counselling sessions.

Steve and Gretchen are not likeable characters and nothing much happens, other than them talk and talk and talk.

Not for me I'm afraid.


Thanks to NetGalley, Farrar Straus and Giroux and the author for the opportunity to preview.

If you'd like to have a front row seat for a couple's therapy session that runs for hours, this is the book for you.

If you're currently in couples therapy yourself, you'll likely find this book a bit of a drag (same holds true if you're in a struggling relationship and NOT in therapy.) In other words, this isn't a guidebook for saving a marriage (although the idea of the green chair is a brilliant one ALL couples therapists should borrow.) In fact, there are some very specific issues at play in the relationship in this book, that won't apply to all relationship universally.

No, this book is more of character study--who are these people (including the therapist) and will they be able to change their old patterns and grow? However I had trouble getting deeply invested in that character study since our interaction with these characters was limited to the hour long couple sessions. Because our lens through which we view these characters was so narrowly focused, they felt a little one dimensional to me at times.

(On that note, sending props to the author for writing chapter-length sessions that feel like they'd take about an hour to play out in real time. It's a big pet peeve of mine to read about a therapy session in a book that consists of basically a page of dialogue.)

I think the audience who might enjoy this book most is therapists ( or people studying to be therapists). The book is written from the perspective of the marriage therapist and her internal asides--where she is rooting for the husband/wife, calling them on their bullshit, or sniffing out something they are trying to hide--are the book's strongest areas (in my opinion.) She's bold (more bold than many real life therapists I've encountered) and, in many ways, is the hero of the story.

Thanks to the author and NetGalley for granting me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

I liked the book up, but felt that it could have gone further indepth on some of the issues. I was not very happy with the ending. I liked all of the characters, and felt that I was getting to know them. I kept feeling as though something more was going to happen with the story, and was disappointed when nothing came of it.

I thought I would enjoy this more, as I am typically very interested in stories about relationships, and especially about the role of psychotherapy in strengthening them or weakening them.

This fell flat for me - and I think that was more a result of the author's writing style (which was a bit cloying - trying VERY hard to get a reaction from the reader) and this book would have benefited from a different approach.

I never could get in to this story. I am not sure if it was the way it was written or the story itself but it left me empty.

Listen to the Marriage reads almost like a cautionary tale of what not to do in a marriage unless you are trying to detonate it.

Steve and Gretchen have been together since college and have two children. They have recently separated due to Steve’s infidelity and are seeing a marriage counselor, Sandy, to either save the marriage or learn to work together if they decide to divorce.

At times, I felt angry with Gretchen and felt like Steve was trying harder to save the marriage. If I’ve learned anything from this book, it’s that communication is key to a successful marriage.

Overall, I enjoyed this book which spanned over nine months of marriage counseling. Was Sandy able to help Steve and Gretchen save their marriage; you’ll have to pick this book up on October 2nd to find out!

Two of my favorite passages from this book…
“You built a marriage. That’s the side I’m on, that’s who I speak for, because neither of you does. The invisible thing you built, it’s something.”
“You’re going to tell me what your marriage is saying. I’m just going to teach you to listen to it.”

I absolutely hate giving negative reviews. I'm not good at it and it makes me uncomfortable, but.... here goes.

This book was not for me. I was really quite happy that it was short.
The concept for this book caught my attention. A novel that takes place only through marriage therapy sessions. Such a great idea!! I.... kind of hated it. It drug on. It didn't really seem like much was taking place over the course of the story. There wasn't a ton of character development, which I would have liked to have seen, particularly because they were in therapy. I kind of hated all three characters. Husband, wife, and therapist. Honestly, for the majority of the novel, I kept expecting to discover that I was reading a thriller and that there would be some plot twist involving the therapist having ulterior motives. Something just seemed... off about her. I also felt like she was taking sides. And whose side she took was different depending on the day. This book was a slog for me. I'm sure there are people that would enjoy it, and I would honestly love to hear some of their opinions, because I would like to know what they liked about it. This one just wasn't for me.

This was a great book. So addicting! I loved that we only got one perspective. The perspective of the therapist, and only when she was in the room with the couple. I felt the wife was a bit manipulative and the husband a bit stupid. Which was a bit cliche. However, I loved how the psychiatrist thought and portrayed them. It made me wonder if this is how all therapists think or if that is what marriage therapy is like. Having never been, I couldn't say. I liked the ending a lot and would recommend this to other married couples for sure. Such a great read and an interesting format.

2 stars, unfortunately. I really thought I was going to like this one because I have a huge interest in analyzing relationships and/or marriages, and an interest in psychology, therapy, psycho-analyzing, all that good stuff! It didn't seem risky to me that the entire story took place in the therapist's office, in fact, it rather intrigued me. There are even affairs in this novel, and even that was portrayed as boring!! The therapist was not likable or realistic, the questions she asked were odd... I don't know why I bothered finishing this one honestly. I had a friend say "it takes a saint to read this book"... but she still gave it four stars so I don't think she meant that in a negative way. But trust me, when I say "it takes a saint", I mean it in a negative way, couldn't wait for either something to HAPPEN or interest to grow, or for it to just END!!