In a world where everyone is determined to give up on everything so easily, this story shows a family trying to make things work. Utilizing a counselor to try and repair what is fractured.

I was interested in the idea of this novel when I first started it - a couple who has separated going to marriage therapy. But then the same scene kept repeating with not a lot of change or forward momentum. I kept expecting the therapist to snap or reveal something about her own life, to give me some reason for continuing, but I was let down in the end. Maybe as a short story it could have worked, or maybe with more showing instead of telling (since everything has already happened by the time they discuss it in the office) or if there had been more to actually figure out from what wasn't being said... now those directions could have been interesting!

“I honestly don’t know, I’d like him to suffer but he seems to be immune to suffering. He seems to always land on his feet.”

Listen to the Marriage made me realize I would make a terrible therapist, I was so fed up with their issues. You can see all the problems from the outside, of course it’s entirely different when you’re in it. This is the story of Gretchen and Steve, their marriage has fallen apart and it isn’t for any one reason, it never is. Sometimes Sandy, the marriage counselor, drove me nuts. She’s meant to be the calm, maintain the gravity but people don’t really love to open up to walls. I know, they’re adults, we are all meant to be very mature when dissecting our mistakes, seeing the obstructions we place in our own lives, but old hurts, old behaviors are hard to conquer. Steve and Gretchen betray each other with affairs, they want to give up and yet both are still clinging. Gretchen feels nothing ever really lands on Steve, nothing affects him as it does her. Take their children, for example, he certainly treats them as if he is babysitting when it’s his turn (that is a very common complaint women have, at least my generation). Naturally the children are pawns, happens in so many separations and divorces, which makes it a step in the right direction they are in therapy.

Gretchen isn’t perfect, Steve is sort of on a cliff and she seems undecided, do I want him, do I want to end it. She is wounded, and she wants him to feel pain too, it shouldn’t be easy for him to just be forgiven and he gets his marriage and family as is. Who the heck wants to be the victim all the time? She holds the power, though, and he is trying, he does want to change. Steve hasn’t really ever had a chance, nor a reason, to be a better more involved father. This is a chance for him to be present, and when it begins to work she gets scared.

How many marriages could be saved if people could learn to understand their own behavior patterns and each others? It’s a lot of humble pie partners have to swallow, a lot of wrongs each person must own to get past all the wreckage. Is it possible for Steve and Gretchen to remain together, or if it ends, to do so without destroying their children and each other?

I was admittedly sick and tired of the couple, I know there is an important lesson here, learning to listen to my spouse’s needs, not simply my own. Fair is a hilarious word in marriage as much as in life. When exactly has fair ever played into anything? Most of us figure out early on tit for tat gets you nowhere, there is aways fall out. A balanced marriage isn’t an easy thing, both partners have to be willing and present. Even when we ‘know thyself’ and understand why we do what we do, we are creatures of habit and it’s hard to break old ways. When you try to, sometimes your wife/husband won’t let you, because they have seen you as being one way for so long that it’s hard from them to trust the new you, or give you room to grow. Gretchen does that with Steve as much as he belittles her as a person.

Women often feel furious their husband isn’t helping enough as a father all the while refusing to let him take the reins. We often want it done our way, not his. The other side of the coin, what to do if your partner isn’t interested much in parenting? Therapy can’t always fix everyone, some people just aren’t willing. Luckily that’s not the case with Steve and Gretchen, both equally screwing up their family and yet both still wanting it to work, maybe.

If you want to play therapist, this is for you. Taking place in office visits, Sandy guides Steve and Gretchen through marital counseling. I wanted to divorce them both at times, but I also understood each side. Are we all this difficult, self-righteous and self-centered? It’s so hard to see ourselves, isn’t it? We all have our own level of ridiculous.

Publication Date: October 2, 2018

Farrar, Straus and Giroux

I appreciated this book, and really liked the premise. I had a hard time understanding who Sandy was, and what drove her. The mother stuff seemed to show no purpose. I thought it was simple, easy to read, but nothing profound. A really decent read!

Gretchen and Steve go for marriage counseling and I thought this book would be about them but I think it was more geared towards the marriage counselor, Sandy. Some of her advice she gave didn’t seem right to me. I lost interest at 50%. Not for me. Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for giving me this book for my honest review.

This book is about a couple who go to marriage counseling for help. Neither of them are very likable characters. I didn't really feel sorry for either one of them, and found them both annoying. I expected there to be more of a story about the therapist, Sandy, as we got a few hints at her life. I actually thought some specific things were going to develop, but none of them did. I won't bore you with what my thoughts were on that subject, but I think they would have made the book more interesting. It definitely kept me reading, thinking something was coming.

I really found this novel most fascinating in its intricate dialogue between the two main characters. This whole book is truly a character study, an intense look into the secrets and failings of marriage. Considering 90% of the novel takes place in a therapist's office, the reader can hone onto the emotions and remain mindful of all the fascinating drama that occurs. Highly recommended.

This book begins as a great concept, listening to the sessions during marriage counseling as a "fly on the wall." However, it soon becomes tedious and repetitive. I feel that this might have been improved if it were extended to the actual experiences that the couple had as they made their way through the sessions, but it actually felt claustrophobic to me. Characters were mentioned and dropped with no development, including those involved with the therapist, which never would have occurred in real life encounters.

I found this novel had great potential, but failed to make the final leap and left me bored.

the book was very interesting. Plot was well developed. really enjoyed this book and the characters.

Thank you to NetGalley, Farah, Strausnand Giroux Oublications and author John Jat Osborn for an ARC of this book in return for my honest review.
I give this book 4 1/2 stars,

Having a background and interest in psychology I was drawn to this book on NetGalley. Although I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

I devoured it. It completely pulled me in from the first page. I felt at times almost voyeuristic as I read the intimacies of Steve and Gretchens stories. The book gradually begins to untangle the issues in the marriage which led to Steve ad Gretchen coming for therapy with Sandy. At times I did find some of Sandy’s observations a bit confusing, making me reread passages wondering if I had missed something, this didn’t happen often but for me took the book away from being 5 stars.

I particularly loved the Green Chair in the book and it’s analogy. I highly recommend this book. I personally think it is a great, quick read for anyone interested in pondering their own relationships and how their stories, perceptions and hurts shape the rail tracks they travel on.

Well, this book is exactly what the blurb promises. The action takes place entirely within a marriage counselor’s office. It is as cringe-worthy as it sounds. I requested this one when I saw it recommended on an upcoming release list. Not for me.

This is a book about two seemingly grown up people who are on the verge of divorce. Thank you #Netgalley for the copy. But the characters in this book seemed very juvenile and confused to me. The writer has tried to make the reader be empathetic to one’s partner’s perspective and yet the writing was not engaging enough or even original in its insights into relationships. An average reading experience..

Yikes....it takes a saint to read “Listen To A Marriage”....or a masochist.....not sure which.......NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD grueling patience!!!
It’s draining and exhausting. Your emotions will be tested. You’ll pretty much hate every character at least once. Best way to avoid this situation that Steve and Gretchen are in....never get married!

All that said.....if you are willing to suffer a little — not be extremely miserable — but be a fly on the wall while Gretchen & Steve sit through their therapy sessions for this ENTIRE BOOK....there is an opportunity to examine things that work and don’t work
with couples, “HOW ARE YOU FEELING?”....especially after the shit hits the fan.
Notice the couples communication skills - when they have trouble hearing and acknowledging each other. Or when they become too ‘right’ about proper boundaries at the cost of self expression. Pride - ego - hurt - jealousy - anger- sadness - all of these get explored.

If you are a therapist yourself, you might be curious to see how Sandy ( marriage counselor), measures up to your standards. I’m not a therapist —but I’ve been a student of therapy different times in my life.
I was a little curious about author John Jay Osborn’s background, experience, and research into writing the character of Sandy.
I felt Sandy knew the basics — therapy 101....was a ‘fair’ therapist - but definitely not a great one.

Both Steve and Gretchen have had affairs - they are separated- and have children. When Steve asks Sandy what she thinks their chances are of he and Gretchen getting back together, she says “one in a thousand”.

Steve also asks, “how long have you been a marriage counselor?”
Sandy says, “ this isn’t going anywhere”.
PERSONALLY ....I THOUGHT IT WAS A FAIR QUESTION
but....
Steve says....” yes it is, I want to know something important. Are we here to make the divorce as peaceful as we can, or are we here to repair the relationship?”
Sandy say: “ those two goals aren’t mutually exclusive”.

As the reader.....you get to be the 4th person in the room! Have fun! You might want to grab a cup of coffee - or a stiff drink! Haha

Thank You Netgalley, Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, and John Jay Osborn

Great book on communication. You see three sides to a broken marriage - the therapist hard at work trying to engage and teach the couple communication skills. She zeros in on their individual issues while trying to sew their marriage back together. Progress is made in baby steps and other times steps are taken backwards. You find yourself wondering what will become of this couple and their marriage. You are more or less understanding the position and thoughts of a therapist, really the entire process is unraveled including the frustrations and achievements. The other sides are of husband and wife - exploring their idiosyncrasies, the lack of acknowledgement towards each other's needs and wants, and the biggie the mistakes landing them in this mess. Clinical but the turbulence of the matters at hand between the couple is felt strongly. Interesting delivery making it feel very authentic. Counseling is a whole lot of ugly before it blossoms and this book is an excellent demonstration of the brutal honesty, vulnerability and rawness essential in any type of therapy. Fast read, both fascinating and engaging.

I gave up on this after reading about 10%. I had two issues. First, some of the actions seemed bizarre (do therapists normally insist on arranging their client's financial affairs?) and, second, it wasn't always clear who was speaking/thinking, which made it hard to read.

Interesting format. The entire storyline takes place in the office of Sandy, the therapist who is trying to keep a marriage together. Each chapter is a different session; often both Gretchen and Steve, but sometimes one or the other will have a private session as they try to decide to stay together or not.

Thanks NetGalley for the chance to read the advance copy in exchange for an honest opinion.

An unusual perspective for a story. I enjoyed reading in from the viewpoint of the marriage counselor! At times, it's confusing but I enjoyed reading it!

This book was...odd. It was written from the point of view of the marriage counselor when counseling a couple who are at odds with each other following a separation. The "marriage" was both literal and allegorical which I found strange...at first.

The book was a little boring to read at times and the story seemed a little obvious, but it was well written and I still was captivated enough to keep reading. I wish there was more of a twist on the story,

"Steve had an investment. Gretchen had an option. They had so much to learn about how to speak about love, Sandy thought. But they were trying."

I have always thought that it would be so interesting to be a therapist and to be able to help people learn to listen and communicate. I like to watch relationship boot camp shows and am a big Esther Perel fan. This book was right up my alley.

This novel is about Gretchen and Steve and their weekly visits to the marriage therapist. There were some details about Sandy, the therapist's life, but not much...and maybe they weren't necessary. I thought that the story between Sandy and her mother or Sandy's own marriage would take a bigger part in the book.

Overall this book was interesting to me, but maybe because the subject matter was interesting. It read easily, but almost clinically at times. I felt like it was missing some emotion at times, but perhaps that is because it was trying to be objective and present both sides of the marriage equally.

I thought this was an interesting look into a relationship and how people communicate.

"Not quite, Gretchen. I'm not going to tell you what your marriage is saying," Sandy said. "you're going to tell me what your marriage is saying. I'm just going to teach you to listen to it."

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing a copy of this book.