Cover Image: The Elephant in the Room

The Elephant in the Room

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<b>The Elephant in the Room was recommended by my Goodreads friend, Dita. I knew once I read her thoughts I had to read this book, too. </b>

Tommy Tomlinson is candid and authentic in his memoir about his weight loss challenges. He shares his weight of 460 pounds and the health difficulties that go along with that.

Tommy grows up in a family where love for food is number one, and he’s had many doctors talk to him about his weight over the years. He has tried every gimmick and diet, and nothing seemed to work for him, but he also recognizes that he wasn’t sure he was ready for a change.

Tommy chronicles his life as he begins to change his mindset, seeking comfort from others in the same shoes.

From the start, I connected with Tommy’s honesty. He felt real and I was cheering him on his journey all along the way. Tommy puts his whole self out there for the world to see, good and bad, and he does everything within his power to to gain control over his choices and to work towards a healthier life. It’s just the kind of inspirational read I needed. If you could use some inspiration, too, or if you enjoy a well-written, original, deeply affecting memoir, take a look at The Elephant in the Room.

I received a complimentary copy. All opinions are my own.

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I loved this book. I’ve already recommended it so several people. Tommy Tomlinson writes about his attempt to lose weight, but this book is so much more than that. His writing reminded me of Rick Bragg, another Southern writer I love. Tomlinson addresses growing up in the South from modest means in a voice that spans a range of emotions. He takes such an honest look at his relationship with food I think anyone who has tried to lose weight, no matter how much, can identify with his struggles. As someone who has enjoyed his writing for years, I have to say this is a must read.

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Loved loved love this book and I love Tommy Tomlinson. Great memoir about growing up in the south and eating in the south and how that informed his weight struggles.

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First of all this is NOT a "How to" guide, a "self-help" book, or an instruction manual on getting fit. This is author Tommy Tomlinson coming to terms with his own obesity, the repercussions of a lifetime of living as a fat guy, and his decision to make another attempt to turn it around.

It's more "memoirs of an overweight American" than "road to healthy living". Tomlinson shares some embarrassing realities, a brave thing for which I commend him; some inspiring things - again, very commendable - and laments on the many things he's missed out on because of his excessive size.

It's that last part that really got to me... and not in a good way. The author admits that he's led something of a charmed life in terms of having a great family, good friends, a job he loves, and an incredible wife who loves him. Then he goes off on a self-pity escapade that gets extremely monotonous. Later, he reminds us (and himself) that, in many ways he's winning at the game of life, then he goes back to how much better that life could be if only...

That pretty much sets the tone for this book; winning then whining (sometimes vice versa), insert amusing anecdote, a bit of life history, then more winning followed by more whining (or, you know, vice versa). I'm exaggerating, but just slightly.

I realize that Tomlinson is trying to come to terms with his lifelong love affair with food and the addictive nature of it. I also realize that he's attempting to explain it to the kind of people who say things like, "Well, why doesn't he just control his appetite?" or "How does someone let themself get like that in the first place?" or "It's really just a matter of willpower, isn't it?". I get that. I really do. It's just that there's a point where it becomes a case of not just beating a dead horse but beating a dead horse with ANOTHER dead horse!

You don't start reading a book like this to make judgements about the author (at least you shouldn't!). I understand Tomlinson's journey as well as anyone, probably better than most.

I, too, was a kid who wore size "husky" back when there wasn't a whole lot of clothes choices for boys who were "big-boned", "heavyset" or "chunky"... I have struggled with obesity much of my life (and still do). I'm a kindred spirit, a barbeque buddy, a brother-in-blubber if you will but... Damn! That whining gets tedious!

On the positive side, when not engaging in self-pity, Tommy Tomlinson has a great writing style. When he keeps a tight rein on the more self-deprecating stuff his humorous asides are reminiscent of Travel-writer Bill Bryson. I would gladly read a book on his Southern roots, life as a journalist, or even traveling cross country in search of healthier choices... But he's got to get that whining under control!

Bottom line: I believe this book will polarize readers into two distinct camps. Those who have empathy or can relate in some way and those who will shake their heads in disgust. In all likelihood both will enjoy The Elephant in The Room to some extent but for entirely different reasons.

***Thanks to NetGalley, Simon & Schuster, and especially author Tommy Tomlinson for providing me with a complimentary digital copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

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Not only is Tommy Tomlinson a great storyteller, he's also a great writer. He has a talent for painting scenes with his words, so brilliantly evocative. I love how he scatters interesting definitions, useful information, and word origins throughout this book, which was an utter joy to read.

"As big as I am, it takes so little to make me feel small." Tomlinson's self-awareness, albeit delayed, was dazzling when it finally hit him. He's so generous in sharing his deepest, darkest fears and shame at his rock-bottom. I'm not a fan of the self-help genre when it's spiritual blah blah or rah rah platitudes, but the way Tomlinson's laid out his soul-baring history alternating with his present-day progress is positively addicting. I couldn't read fast enough, was equally interested in how he got this way and in tracking his improvement. About halfway through the book I started to recognize that pattern of his that he later attributes to his ill-health, and I still can't get over the ingenious way he managed to present his story, making it so palpably relatable to any reader. Everyone can benefit from reading this book, regardless of ones BMI or politics, we can all stand to be more tolerant and supportive, and that's what The Elephant in the Room conveys. I would love to see Tomlinson write more about the "Growing America" alluded to in the subtitle, the bits in this book where he comments on corporate greed in marketing a toxic lifestyle could make for a great follow-up, that I would happily devour.

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This is a beautiful memoir! Raw, funny, and real. The writing is incredible and I had a hard time putting it down.

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In the midst of one of his worst years in a long time, author Tommy Tomlinson decides to embrace adulthood and face his fears directly. He has spent his life stuffing himself and his feelings with copious quantities of food. He describes himself as nearly spherical in shape and having missed out on many experiences due to his size. He decides on a simple plan, namely to eat fewer calories than he expends every day. He knows it is relatively simple to lose weight and nearly impossible to keep it off. He intends to change that story for himself and in the process understand his relationship with food. This is the story of that reckoning and it is vividly told by a writer with a keen eye for detail and a gift for storytelling. The pages come alive with memorable characters and food that glistens. I didn’t want to eat much of his favorites but I won’t forget the descriptions either. I received my copy from the publisher through NetGalley.

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Raw and honest, Tommy Tomlinson’s memoir about how his journey through life as a fat man and his quest to get smaller is a must-read. His searing honesty about what it is like to be morbidly obese is refreshing and hits so close to home. I found myself putting off reading this book because I felt like a fraud. I too used to be morbidly obese but had lost over 200 pounds over a few year period. However, after some health issues, I let myself use that as an excuse and have now gained back 110 pounds, regaining the morbidly obese designation. I was so ashamed of my backsliding that I didn’t think I could stand to read about someone whose is succeeding but his candid soul-searching and descriptions of his struggles are instead helping to inspire me not to give up and keep trying.

Thanks to NetGalley, Simon & Schuster, and the author Tommy Tomlinson for an advanced electronic review copy.

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Millions of adults are categorizes as obese. I am one of those millions. We all have our stories to tell of how we got to where we are, but there is a lot of the journey that we want hidden from the world, ashamed of where we've been and what what we've become.

Tommy Tomlinson is a brave man. After his sister died due to complications with obesity, Tommy decided that enough was enough and decided to document a year of attempting to lose weight, while at the same time reflecting on his past and examining the journey that led him to the 460lbs weight. Tommy witnesses how his sister's death affected his family and it was a huge wake up call. It was time to change and this time for good.

I truly enjoyed reading about Tommy's life. How he intertwined his past with his present was wonderfully done, his feelings from each experience raw on every page, to where you feel like you're listening to a new friend share their experiences instead of reading words on a page. There were several parts of Tommy's story that brought tears to my eyes. So raw and so real that you wish you could reach through the pages and give this poor guy a hug.

The only grievance I had with the book was some of the bad language that was used. I felt the bad words were oftentimes unnecessary and at times even distracting from the particular story being told at that moment, and wish they could've been omitted. Other than that I had no other qualms and enjoyed this read immensely and cheered for Tommy every step of the way.

The Elephant in the Room is a beautifully brave memoir that gave me hope for my own journey, and I know that it will be a motivation to thousands of others. Obesity, though an epidemic in our country, is also something that still has a stigma. Those of us that deal with obesity on a daily basis feel like we're alone in the fight, but reading stories like Tommy's is a wonderful reminder. We can do this and we are not alone.

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A few months ago, Michael Hobbes wrote a lengthy article for The Huffington Post titled, "Everything You Know About Obesity is Wrong." It was an interesting perspective on the lack of compassion that is often bestowed upon those that are obese. Quite simply, there's nothing a doctor or any other person could say to a morbidly obese person that they haven't already thought about themselves. So much of this book reminded me of that article. Tommy Tomlinson is a talented journalist and writer - and brutally vulnerable in his memoir about life in a 400+ pound body + all that he has missed out on in his life because of his own choices (which he is quick to state). No amount of outwardly criticism toward him could compete against his own self-flagellation, and he somehow communicates that with poignancy and a lot of humor. I found myself really rooting for him as he committed to changing his life forever by slowly and consistently changing his habits and losing weight, one pound at a time. His honesty is refreshing and you can't help but cheer for him and thank him for sharing his story.

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"The Elephant in the Room" by Tommy Tomlinson is a brutally honest account of his journey to lose weight. Growing up in the South, food is comfort and in many ways, love. Despite his many previous attempts to lose weight, Tomlinson takes a different approach: a slow-and-steady-wins-the-race approach to losing weight this time. Readers will laugh and cry along with Tomilinson as he describes his relationship with food both growing up and as he fights his inner battles of self doubt to successfully lose weight. I enjoyed this memoir and found myself cheering along from the sidelines. Tomlinson is an inspiration in many ways and readers will continue to pull for him long after the epilogue, because losing weight is just plain hard.

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I very much admire his willingness to own his struggle with weight loss and to put himself out there and say hey it's not just you. We're in this together. For everyone who has struggled with their weight and let's be honest who hasn't read this book. It will inspire you and it will have you cheering him on as he battles uphill in the middle of a raging snowstorm in his fight against his weight. Cheering you on Tommy Tomlinson for your bravery and your determination.

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Honest and candid memoir about Tomlinson's struggle with his weight and how it has affected him throughout his life. It is so well written and engaging. If you've ever struggled with weight or have tried to make some life changes and have had setbacks, you will be able to relate wholeheartedly with this book. Tomlinson writes with no excuses - he's on a journey and does not let himself off the hook for where he's at or why he is where he is. I love that he's not trying to just fix his weight, he's really trying to understand and tackle the root of where his eating behavior stems from. I am rooting for him and it's motivated me to look at myself for similar behaviors, excuses and mentality.

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I was so pleasantly surprised by this book. I didn't expect so much honesty, humor and heart. Yes, this book is about Tommy Tomlinson's weight loss journey, but it's more about his life and what led him to this point with a short accounting of each month's progress, loss or gain. It's refreshing to hear someone taking full responsibility for his own state, rather than blaming his parents, society and/or the the companies making and advertising the unhealthy foods he consumed to get him where he was.

Thank you to Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest review.

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From Goodreads:
ARC through netgalley/
Tommy Tomlinson is a writer and a life-long fat guy at 400+ pounds who decided to find a sustainable way to weigh less. This is his account of wins and losses along the way until finally deciding that he needed to change. He chronicles a year, with flashbacks to his earlier years and stories about his love of fast food, Little Debbies and Southern cooking. That might make you very hungry. It's inspiring too, and a good, fast read.

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First off, the writing is superb in this book, and I found myself really learning a lot and enjoying this one. I appreciated the author's background and the journey of becoming morbidly obese difficult to hear but also honest and powerful. Though I cannot relate completely to Mr. Tomlinson's difficulties and journey, I really did relate to a lifetime of wanting to lose a few pounds and the seemingly never-ending diet cycle. His self-discovery is really poignant and life-changing, as well as inspiring for all of us who too often use food or other substances to make life easier (while concurrently and ironically making our lives more difficult).

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I appreciate greatly that these kinds of stories are being told. With rates of overweight and obesity on the rise, it is well past time that voices of fat people given a microphone to reflect on their own experiences (rather than narratives imposed on them) and taken seriously beyond the usual hand wringing and moralizing that has characterized the discourse for the last 30 years. The author's candor and vulnerability are admirable and I enjoyed the specificity of his anecdotes. That said, I'm not sure this fully worked as a memoir for me. I think instead of a dual timeline, it would have been better to more fully incorporate the past elements into the current year of his weight loss. I also wish some of his insights and reflections had gone a bit deeper, as that's really the hallmark of good memoir. That said, I enjoyed spending time with the author through this book, and again, I am happy to see a more complicated and nuanced public discussion about what it means to gain and lose significant amounts of weight

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Tomlinson is an amazing writer. As a journalist, I always enjoy reading another journalist's writing. He digs deep in his exploration of how he became morbidly obese, examining his family, his culture (Southern food is hard to beat and to refuse) and society's impact and response. While he has a terrific sense of humor, Tomlinson will break your heart. By the end of the book, he had committed to a lifestyle that was helping him lose weight slowly but steadily. I wish him all the best. 4.5 stars.

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I came across this on Netgalley one day and immediately became interested. Once I started this book I could not put it down.

I have struggled with my weight all my life. I am nowhere near the size of Tomlinson, however, I am no size 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, etc (just what size I won’t disclose now, come on guys). The words he spoke in this story hit so, so close to home that they brought tears to my eyes.

This story was uniquely told. He takes us on a year-long journey where he decides it is time to lose weight. At the beginning of each chapter he tells us a story about his life and how he became the weight he is today. At the end of each chapter we are introduced to the month and what he has been doing to try and lose weight. He keeps us up to date with a total calculation on how much weight he’s lost or gained in the month and his current weight total.

If you have never struggled with your weight, congratulations. It is to you I highly recommend you read this book to gain some insight on what it is like and the struggle that those face when trying to lose weight. It sucks. I am so happy that Tomlinson points out how diets essentially set you up for failure (read to see why his opinion is this) and cause you to gain weight back. I appreciate the way he is losing weight and applaud him.

I loved the journey of his life as a journalist and found myself rooting for him. You cannot help but root for him and if you can’t then you are just a monster. I would love to grab a beer with Tomlinson and just talk life, that is the kind of story teller he is. He is real, down to earth, and does not try to get you to feel bad for him at all; no, just for one to understand, that is all.

I am going on a limb and giving this book 5 stars. The fact that he could move me to tears when he described what it was like to try and lose weight and all that goes on around us, yes sir, preach. He gets it and expresses it in such a way that is astounding. He is my voice and I am damn proud to say that. Pick this book up whether you are skinny or fat and trust me, you will enjoy it.

***WILL BE FEATURED AT 5:00AM PACIFIC TIME ON JANUARY 10TH AT WWW.BOOKINTHEBAG.WORDPRESS.COM***
***WILL BE FEATURED ON JANUARY 10TH AT WWW.INSTAGRAM.COM/MRSDMVH***

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The Elephant in the Room was very eye opening! Tommy bravely writes about growing to be a 480+ pound man. I grew up very underweight, which has its own set of challenges. Tomlinson’s writing style made this an easy read and also made it easy to relate to Tommy’s tales of bullying and trying to fit in during middle school and high school. Having known many friends who are constantly dieting and frustrated with their lack of results gave me just a snippet of the obstacles facing an obese person - especially air travel and entertainment. Fast food restaurants at every corner must be such a curse! I so admired Tommy for pursuing his dreams with his wife’s support. I was cheering for him as he was walking 10,000+ steps! Hoping he has continued to lose slowly while living a fulfilling life. Many thanks to Tommy Tomlinson, Simon Schuster, and NetGalley for allowing me to read an ARC of this inspiring read.

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