I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Thank you NetGalley!!


While I wanted to adore this book, I simply co uldn't. There was way too much religious speak, terminiology,e tc. I feel there were some words/titles/etc used that weren't very complimentary for trans/nonbinary people. Some of it seemed truly outdated. I feel the scripture didn't relaly have a place in the book

I picked this book to read out of sheer curiosity. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but this wasnt quite it. I was surprised at the language in this book given that its marketed as a Christian book. And the author is supppsed to be in ministry. So that was confusing. I guess I wanted more details about the person going through transition and that entire thought process.

Excellent book. Was hooked from the first chapter. Definitely looking to read more books by this author. A+

In This book Jonathan gives us a gift. A gift of vulnerability of honesty and insight into the beauty of the vastness of the love of God. His story will challenge you to ask questions and like the good rabbis of old make you dig deep into those questions to after reading a discover a lived theology that is more attuned with the God who defines love. Thank you Jonathan and Paula for sharing your journey with the rest of us.

When a pastor, son of a pastor, learns his father is “transgender,” he finds more advice being offered to parents of transgender children than to children whose parents are struggling with gender identity. And he turns to Google to learn what the difference might be between transgender, transsexual, transvestite, bisexual, gay and more—all words he hadn’t planned to consider before. Even while the words are changing their meaning and their usage, his father is changing who he is, and where does that leave the child?

Author Jonathan Williams first introduces his father—his hero—through examples of an excellent childhood relationship. He allows the upcoming question to grow slowly in the reader’s mind, while inviting recognition of how we all try to live up to stereotypes—is that different from trying to live how society defines you? “From the age of four, my father knew…” he says, begging the reader to ask, how did he know (and how did the author learn he’d known from such a young age)? But now the author's an adult, and his father has shared his secret.

Mother and father both came from Christian backgrounds, both with their added burden of rules and regulations (“Catholics weren’t Christians at all,” and no movies or sporting events on Wednesdays or Sundays…). But how seriously will they, the author, or we readers take that statement of Jesus that “the truth would set us free.” Will we stake our lives on it? Is unity really more important than uniformity? Is keeping faith more important than hanging onto our “tribe” and the finances supporting it? And can a grandfather truly become a woman—truly have been a woman all along?

Jonathan Williams neither hides behind nor hides from all these questions and more. He doesn’t pretend to have always known or always supported or always been the person he feels called to be. He allows his readers to start from the same assumptions and draw the same conclusions on their way to… well maybe to a “just and generous” faith.

Readers of faith may well be challenged by this book. Readers with no faith may find their distrust confirmed, perhaps affirmed, but surely never confirmed. Because faith, it turns out, isn’t faith in an organization after all—at least, not if Jonathan Williams is to be believed. Faith is bigger and more generous than that. And just maybe we should all be thankful.

Disclosure: I found this on NetGalley and I offer my honest review.

What an amazing, honest book. Most of what I know about people who are transgendered is through news and social media. In this book, the author tells of his own father's transition. He discusses how the transition affected his family. I especially like how his young children embrace their “Grand Paula.” The author shared everything with tenderness and sensitivity.

It was obvious that transitioning affects the family. The author was able to share how his father's transition affected him and the extended family members. At no time did he sugar coat the decision. He discussed some of the painful losses due to his father's transition. And the growth he experienced.

The author and his father were pastors in Evangelical churches. The author shares how the transition impacted both his and his father's ministry. He references to Scripture passages enhances reinforced the author's point. I liked that Paula was given an opportunity to respond.

I love the honesty, respect and love with which this book was written.

I feel bad that I didn't really enjoy this memoir. I'm just not sure who this is book for? Jonathan's reaction is so deeply entrenched in evangelical Christianity, I wonder how many readers (whether cis or trans) outside of that world would find this helpful. I struggled with how outdated the terminology and attitudes felt. I wouldn't want to read this as a trans person, and certainly not as a nonbinary person (the narrative was very hung up on a gender binary). And I can't imagine giving it to a cis person who is trying to understand how a trans loved one feels, because again, it felt outdated, and it wasn't cohesive or far-reaching enough.

There was constant misgendering in the first half of the book. Maybe Paula was okay with the use of old pronouns/name for historical purposes, but it was tough to read. Did they think it made things clearer? Was it for dramatic effect? It just felt bad. And while Jonathan is good about pointing out where he was being selfish, self-righteous, or just plain mean, I couldn't help but wonder: Are there times when cis people should keep some of their thoughts to themselves? Is there such thing as TOO "raw and honest"?

I received a free copy of this memoir from NetGalley. I appreciated the author sharing about his experience and grief in processing that his father was transgender. I disagreed with how he used scripture, but that helped me to challenge my own beliefs and think about why I believe what I believe. I wish more of Paula’s experience was included from her perspective and that the writing was more polished.

Jonathan followed in his father's and grandfather's steps in becoming pastors and church planters. Shortly after Jonathan helped start a new church in Brooklyn, his father shared with his family that he was transgender and wanted to transition to living authentically as a woman. It rocked Jonathan's world, both personal and professional. He struggled to accept that the father he had known would be no longer and figure out how that fit in with his faith. The book shares his journey interspersed with chapters from his father.

I appreciated the honesty and vulnerability from both Jonathan and Paula. It takes courage to share something so personal and controversial.

While I appreciate the overall message of this book, I have to admit I struggled with the religious aspects of it. It takes a polarizing issue and makes it accessible to Christians who may not “get it” when it comes to gender identity. As a non-religious person I found it challenging to look past scripture and religious doctrine. Some of that is on me, however, as I did not realize the publisher is a scholarly division of Presbyterian Publishing when I requested this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. If you are interested in understanding cultural issues through the lens of your Christian faith, you will likely gain a lot of insight from this book.

She’s my Dad: A Father’s Transition and a Son’s Redemption by Jonathon Williams with Paula Stone Williams helped broaden my understanding of the issues that transgender people face when they make the choice to transition..

Jonathan Williams grew up in a tight-knit family with a heritage of evangelical church planting. According to Williams, “By the time my father took over the Church Planting Mission from Pop and renamed it ‘The Harvest Network,’ I was Christian royalty, fully part of a network of churches that Pop and Dad worked to start.”

A testimonial on Harvest Network’s webpage claims that “HNI is a network of church leaders and believers who are loving Jesus and people in relevant ways that help us reach today’s culture.”

This background helps the reader understand the Williams’ family dilemma. Jonathan grew up admiring his father and as an adult he frequently went to his dad for counsel. His identity as a man, a pastor, and even as a Christian was tied up in his father’s identity.

Paula’s decision to acknowledge her true self caused a tsunami in the Evangelical world—and an earthquake in Jonathan’s life. Everything he had believed in (his dad’s masculinity, the message of the church he served, and the love of Jesus) suddenly seemed ripped out from underneath him.

The book chronicles Jonathan’s journey to his true self as he deals with his father’s news. His journey contains things we don’t normally associate with pastors—self-doubt, depression, anger, drunken binges, lying, unforgiveness, and despair. But maybe those things shouldn’t surprise us, because, after all, pastors sin and struggle in the same ways we do.

I achieved my objective in reading the book—I now know more about transgenderism than I did before. Forty-one percent of transgender individuals attempt suicide at some point in their lives.The question that Jonathan and Paula both leave us with is this—how should we as Christian individuals and the body of Christ respond in love to people who don’t fit the mold? Is it ok to say we love the sinner and hate the sin?

Readers who desire to understand the struggles that a transgender person and their families go through will come away with a deeper understanding. Williams and his father both write with brutal honesty and compassion about their experiences. In a rapidly changing world, Christians do themselves a disservice when they try to just ‘love the sinner’ without gaining any real understanding of how their words and attitude my wound those who suffer from gender dysphoria.

These are the words that no one expects to hear from a loved one, let alone from a parent to an adult child: “I am transgender”.

She’s my Dad is the memoir of Jonathan S. Williams, whose father Paul ‘came out’ and confessed that secret to his family. She’s my Dad is Jonathan’s story of his shock, dealing with or the lack thereof the situation, and eventual acceptance of Paul becoming Paula. A confession such as this would be a shock in the first place, but what made Paul’s more complicated was both Jonathan and Paul’s occupation: evangelical pastors. Jonathan had also just started a new church plant a few months before Paul’s confession.

When we read transgender stories, we don’t tend to receive a family member’s perspective, just the one undergoing the transition. But it is not just the trans person that goes through transition: it is the whole family as they all have to go through countless changes. Jonathan and Paul’s story is compounded because of their occupations as they have to deal with many more consequences of this confession so Paula can be her true self. Every transition story will be different and important.

Most of the memoir discussed the church. For me, this seemed to drag on for a too long and I found myself skimming over the church mentions. Williams may have been trying to show how much Paula’s transition would affect everyone involved, but so much of it seemed like he was repeating himself. Williams had a very difficult time accepting his father becoming Paula and lamented to an extreme which included drinking. Unlike what many believe, pastors are human and are not perfect.

I did like that we got to also hear from Paula in some chapters in sections called “Paula Responds”. This way we get both sides of the story.

All a person who is undergoing transition wants is acceptance from themselves, their family, and even the church. Hopefully the church can be accepting to those who are transgender: They are people just like us. Think about it: If an evangelical pastor can eventually accept his father for who she actually is, maybe we all can.

She’s my Dad is recommended. I received a copy from Westminster John Knox Press via NetGalley. Thank you for my copy!

Insight into the world of being Transgender, from both sides! Sometimes tough to read, but really informative. Can you imagine, being a successful pastor, son of a mega pastor and being trans?! The obstacles seem insurmountable. Touching, Tender and Rough. The story of a family in transition, ups and downs, A honest look into a world far removed from most folks experiences, but the experiences ring true.

Honestly, the author comes across as really selfish and inflexible. It's whiney and disappointing, Two stars.

I think this is an important book and a story that should be told. Unfortunately, it’s not written really well and it goes way too much into scripture and doctrine. The parts about Jonathan and Paula were the best parts of the book but I still felt this book only skimmed the surface.

As soon as I saw the advertisement for this book in my inbox from WJK Press, I knew I had to read it. I believe in making space for the narratives of people who would normally go unheard in our society. As soon as I knew this book was available, I knew that it was important for me to hear Paula's story. 

I am a person who has made my home and my life in the church. I love the church very much; however, I know that the church has deeply hurt many people in many different ways throughout history. Reading Paula's story broke my heart. I found myself racing through this relatively brief book in only two days. I needed to know what happened to Paula. 

The majority of this book is told from the perspective of Paula's son, Jonathan. At certain points, Paula has the opportunity to respond. Her writing is full of strength and grace. I was deeply moved by her words. 

In contrast, I had a very difficult time identifying with Jonathan. I was intrigued to hear what it was like in his church and in his world. It was enlightening to learn about what goes on behind the scenes in megachurches. I was fascinated by Jonathan's honest explanation of what it takes to make a new church start successful. Sadly, though, there were many times when I wanted to reach through the pages and shake Jonathan because I disagreed with his choices or his actions. 

This was a beautiful book with an important story that needs to be told; however, I would have preferred it if the story was entirely told through Paula's perspective. This book makes me want to read more of Paula's writings and hear more about her own journey of faith.

his book provides an interesting perspective on the intersection between transitioning, the Christian church, and family identity. The book is written primarily by Jonathan, the son of a transitioning pastor, and a pastor in his own right. It was interesting to see how Paula's support system crumbled in the shock of her announcement -- in some cases, temporarily, but in others permanently. We read about how there is a lack of support systems for people whose parents are dealing with gender identity issues, similar to those available for children through school systems and intermediate units. We come to see how an entire family's sense of identity changes during this kind of life changes -- how one models themselves and compares themselves to a parent who then rejects the construct of a gender that doesn't fit.

I agree with other reviewers that it would have been interesting to hear more from Jonathan's mother and sisters, and how the transition impacted them. There are readers out there looking for that perspective too, I'm sure. Or from the viewpoint of a child whose mother is transitioning. We put specific roles and responsibilities on each parent based on identity, even if we only do it subconsciously. I believe that there is a real gap in our discussions related to transitioning of a parent, and this book helps fill that hole.

Thank you to Westminster John Knox Press and NetGalley for a free ARC to read and review. All opinions above are my own.

I suppose if you are religious you might enjoy this book. The first half of the book was an explanation of Williams family structure within the church. I suppose that was to give the reader the reason he was so devastated. Me, me, me, that's all I heard in this story. Williams explains primarily how he was effected by his fathers change. And of course the church. I found this too wordy and boring.

Thank you NetGalley and WestminsterJohnKnox Publishing for giving me a chance to read this book for my honest opinion.

I fully understand the difficulty that the transgender society has with the public sect especially the church and his or her family. I can only imagine how hard it would be if you were a preacher and it was your parent that was transitioning.
However this story rambled on and on to the point where one's attention gets lost.
The story line is more about the churches view instead of Jonathan and his family. I feel like there was so many issues that were not covered that should have been especially with the title of the book.
Why wasn't Paula's (Jonathan's Dad) side or perspective addressed more? Why didn't the book talk to Jonathan and his mom? Were his parents ever divorced? How come we weren't involved in more of that every day aspect?
"These issues would have assisted in so much of Paula's transition. Jonathan knew from an early start that his father was not like any other dad, he wasn't a manly man even though he stood over 6'.
He had numerous clues. Was he the only one who sumized something wasn't quite right?
We didn't need to hear so much about the churches view as we did about Paula's and others.

This book is very raw and honest, which makes it somewhat off-putting at first. The author is a pastor and comes from a long line of pastors (including his father) and is involved in a church-planting organization started by the family. About the first third of the book focuses primarily on the pastoral work of the family and the Evangelical movement of which they are a part. The author is very open about the flaws/faults of himself, his father, and the Evangelical ministry and they come across as rather unlikable. However, the memoir becomes more interesting and valuable as the story progresses and the reader learns more about the transition of the author's father from Paul to Paula (or rather, the affirmation of the person Paula had always been but had been too afraid to present to the world). The author is very open about his difficulty accepting his father becoming a woman and how that affected his life and his ministry career. That openness is one of the strengths of the book, because he lets readers know that it is okay to be angry, upset, disappointed, confused, lost, etc. when confronted with such a profound change. One of the interesting aspects is how father's change of gender identity causes the author to rethink what it means to be a man/father/masculine.

As the story progresses, the reader gets to see how various family members adjust to and accept Paula, some, such as the author, with much greater difficulty. One of the sweetest moments is when the author's daughters meet their grandfather for the first time as Paula and decide to call her GrandPaula -- grandpa is no longer appropriate and they already have a grandma, so they choose GrandPaula. While the story is mostly told by the author, there are occasional sections where Paula responds to what her son has written and talks about her struggles and fears, but also how freeing and affirming it has become to live as her authentic self.

As the author is struggling to accept his father's transition, he is also re-evaluating his faith and his beliefs and decides that he wants to be part of and lead a more inclusive church, which will inevitably mean a break with the Evangelical churches and the church-planting organization that his family had started and he had grown up in and become a leader in. The reader gets to read about how the author's faith is transformed and how he re-evaluates the teachings he has grown up with and the understanding of God that he has grown up with and realizes that the true God of the scriptures is not someone who would condemn a member of the LGBTQIA community, but rather an all-loving God that wants everyone to have the opportunity to have a relationship with him and grow in faith in an affirming community -- aspects of identity such as sexual orientation and gender identity are irrelevant when it comes to who is welcome into the fellowship of believers.

I read a copy of the e-book through NetGalley.