"...none of us can understand what’s going on in another person’s life from the outside looking in. No one can really see the quiet you carry, unless you let them."
Wow! Wow! Wow! This was a super powerful story about a teenage girl with a troubled past and her experience in a foster home. The time that Victoria spent in Spring Valley living in a foster home with Connie her "AKA foster mother", was some of the worst and later... best times in Victoria's life.
There, she felt alone, betrayed, scared, and confused. First, her beloved mother dies of cancer. As a promise to her mother, she vowed to take care of her father. But, how could her father do this to her?
Now...he marries Tiffany and she has a younger step sister Sarah. So, why doesn't anyone believe her? Why didn't anyone stick up for her? The night that changed her life forever is the opening scene of the story. I felt Victoria's grief as she stood outside on a winter night only in her pajamas. Thrown to the curb. Literally! What will her life become?
I started this book one evening and flew through the fist half. The next evening I finished the second half in the wee hours of the morning. Nikki Barthelmess did a fantastic job of making me feel part of this story. I was invested in Victoria's life and the choices she made... so much so, that at times I had to put the book down to catch my breath.
It's heartsteakingly painful to know that children are shuffled around, mistreated, and uncared for all the time. It's a cruel world sometimes. Reading about the hardships of children in foster care is difficult. When it's a happier ending, it makes it slightly easier to digest. It's obvious that Nikki brings a level of experience to her writing in this subject and imbedded in this story is Victoria's story. A genuine, real, more-common-than-people-think kind of story! Grab your tissues.

The Quiet You Carry was another nice gem from Netgalley. This author is a new one for me and her writing did not disappoint. This story is one that needs to be told, especially in a world where the majority don’t even know that things like these happen in real life.

On the surface, Victoria appeared to be a normal high school teenager. A little shy, a good student, a good daughter. She lost her mother to cancer and for a short while, it was just her and her dad. Then her dad remarried and she got a stepmom and a stepsister whom she got along with just fine.

But a still lake can hide countless horrors. Victoria learns that the hard way when she’s thrown out of her own home and dumped into foster care. She’s forced into situations where she realizes just how little control children have over their own lives, and how much adults can rule them. It’s a hard lesson to learn, when the adults who are supposed to care for you and protect you are the ones who make your life a living hell.

It was heartbreaking to watch her make sense of her upturned world, to face the truth of her life, to face the truth behind the lies and facade of normalcy. The author did a great job showing the confusion Victoria felt, the fear of being thrown among strangers, the fear of the lack of control over her life, the pain of facing the truth and the strength it took to do something about it.

The Quiet You Carry is a book that deals with domestic abuse so insidious you’re not even aware of it until too late, trauma, foster care, the callousness and carelessness that some adults apply in cases of abuse instead of giving those kids the caring and empathy they need to heal.

There are times when the dreaded reading slump snares you and you come across books that don’t hold your interest and you feel “Why do I even like reading?” Then you come across a book like The Quiet You Carry and you think to yourself, “This. This is why I love reading.” Because stories like these need to be felt and to spread awareness among people.

First of all, I just wanted to say that I absolutely loved this book! I was really invested in the plot and some moments broke and tore apart, while other times I couldn’t stop smiling. I have a few minor issues with the novel which made my reading experience difficult at times. Those issues aside, I gave this book 4 avocadoes because of the engaging plot, the characters (most of the time), and the messages it held in relation to our society.

As I mentioned before, I did have a few issues with the novel that made it hard at points to really get into the novel at first, but the book overcame these flaws over the course of the novel. An issue i had was that I found the main character, Victoria, rather annoying and a little bit of a biatch sometimes. I understand that her history causes her to not be as positive - however, she regularly dismissed her friends who were genuinely trying to help her and give them the cold shoulder for no reason. This made my connection to the main character weaker because I felt like I related to her less and I tended to dislike many of the decisions she made. I did grow to love her and relate to Victoria over the course of the novel which I was a big fan of and I really grew to adore the novel.

Ultimately, I would definitely recommend this book to lovers of contemporaries, with caution as it deals with issues of sexual abuse. I believe this story needed to be told and it educated me on how foster care is really like

Very good book about a girl in foster care. Kept my interest right away. I liked the title, because many of these foster children have so much they’re carrying and feel they can’t talk about it. Thank you to #NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read #TheQuietYouCarry

I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley for an honest review.

The Quiet you Carry certainly has an important story to tell about real situations that happen to those in foster care but I'm sorry to say this was a miss for me. I could not connect with the main character. I found her frustrating and I hated the decisions she made which completely ruined the story. Hopefully others will get more out of it then I did.

I seem to stumble upon books these days which start rather slow for me, a little painfully even, but I end up quite liking them. This was one of them. Also, the fact I ended up liking it encourages me to keep up my not DNFing anything streak.

Having no knowledge about the foster care system, this was pretty eye-opening for me. It also made me feel that not everything is as it seems. It's hard to talk about it without spoiling anything, but all I can say is the character development in this novel was rather well executed in the end. It all made sense.

This book has quite a lot of triggers (violence, sexual abuse and such) so that has to be kept in mind when thinking about reading it. It can be pretty shocking at times.

All in all, I'm glad I didn't give up on it as the second half of it went pretty quickly as I was dying to find out how everything ends up. Kinda wanna know what happened to all the characters so would love there to be a sequel!

Nikki Barthelmess doesn't waste any time drawing you in with her beautifully written prose. The Quiet You Carry is a compelling story that is heartbreaking, yet in the end, filled with hope. I highly recommend this book, but have a box of tissues at the ready. Bravo!

Since her mother’s death four years before, Victoria Parker has been trying to fulfill her final wish that she take care of her father who isn’t strong enough to deal with losing her. Although he has always had a quick temper, Victoria’s memories of her childhood with him are mostly happy ones. However, his depression, drinking and remarriage to mean stepmom Tiffany have brought strange and uncomfortable changes to their relationship. The breaking point comes one night when Victoria finds herself locked out of her home at 3:00 a.m. She tries to convince herself and the social worker that it's just a misunderstanding, but her father’s lies land her in a crowded and uncomfortable foster home. Victoria has to follow the strict rules of the house imposed by the tyrannical Connie, finish her senior year at a new school while scrambling to find a way to afford the college her father will no longer pay for, and avoid forming new friendships that could expose all of her secrets. Unfortunately, a lie about attending a school dance leads to a night in juvie after Connie reports her as a runaway. Now she has to contend with being ostracized at school, fighting her growing feelings for Kale, dealing with nightmares that disrupt her sleep, and addressing the escalating worry she has for her stepsister Sarah who has been left behind with her father. Will she find the strength and support she needs to stop protecting her dad, expose his lies, and end the nightmare?

Barthelmess has drawn on her experience as a foster kid to write a YA novel that exposes the flaws in the foster care system and the damage parents can do to their children with their actions. The friendship Victoria has with Christina and her budding romance with Kale provide some much-needed lightness. The title is explained when Victoria recognizes that many people have secrets, even Kale. “No one can really see the quiet you carry, unless you let them.” This isn’t an easy story to read, but it’s one that needs to be told and discussed with teens. A worthy addition to any library serving teens, but beware that there are potential triggers for sexual abuse and suicide. Highly recommended.


I received a complimentary ARC of this book from Flux through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed are completely my own.

Wow. Really interesting story. Very heartbreaking at times, but still very interesting and emotional. Thanks for the eARC!

I absolutely LOVED this book! Despite it being listed as a YA book, it covered some pretty difficult topics such as child abuse and self-harm. Therefore, trigger warning for those of you who may be impacted by that type of content. I only really saw this as a YA book in the sense of the characters being teenagers, but that being said, I LOVED THIS BOOK! I thought Barthelmess did a really great job discussing taboo topics in a way that could help reduce stigma and open up more conversations regarding mental health, what abuse looks like, and self-harm, especially for teens! And let me just say, this is SO needed in society today. Mental health....suicide...domestic violence....needs to be discussed! I get that it can be scary to open up, but having these conversations can literally save lives. Thank you so much Netgalley for my review copy!

I received an advanced digital copy of this book from NetGalley.com and the publisher, North Star Editions Flux. Thanks to both for the opportunity to read and review.

Miss Barthelmess has captured the foster system experience and made it visceral and incredibly moving. It is heartbreaking in it's story of a girl who has been groomed and manipulated by a predator who then throws her out of the house when he is caught in the act.

The book is emotional and well written. The dialog is realistic and engaging. The reader will feel for the characters. Not for younger readers, but an excellent read for teens.

5 out of 5 stars. Highly recommended.

**Trigger warnings: sexual abuse/molestation, self harm, domestic abuse, suicide attempts.**

This book dealt with so many disturbing and uncomfortable topics (as mentioned above), and to be honest I would not have picked it up had I known this beforehand. I knew from the description it involved foster care, which I have always found interesting to read about, but there was so much more going on throughout this book and I felt sick to my stomach and emotionally drained when it was over.

I do want to acknowledge though, that despite the subject matter, I couldn’t seem to put the book down- I had to know what would become of Victoria in the end.

The author handled these topics with such sensitivity and in a manner that made me want to keep reading , and also gave a lot of insight as to why so many victims of sexual abuse don’t report it.

I was also really interested to discover in her notes at the end that she was in the foster care system herself as a child. I know this was a work of fiction, but I assume she drew (at least a little bit) from some of her own experiences, so I definitely commend her bravery in writing this book.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing a free digital ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Heartbreaking! Victoria's story rippled its way to my very core. The author proved herself to be a powerhouse with The Quiet You Carry! Her writing style made Victoria's words come alive off of the pages. This is a novel that needed my full and undivided attention. Victoria's story is one that should go uninterrupted. It's raw and it's painful but yet, despite her circumstances, she still has a beautiful light to her. I feel that readers who may have been in similar situations would have felt the author delivered this story authentically and that she represented victims well and with compassion. It feels wrong to say that I enjoyed this book, but it was spectacularly written and a hauntingly beautiful story.

There comes a time in every reader’s life when they find a book that feels like it was written for them. You connect to so many different aspects to the book, and it touches your soul.

For me, The Quiet You Carry, is one of those books. I wish I had this book so many years ago. For myself, and for someone else I know.

We get a story of a young girl with dreams to go to college, whose life changes in the middle of the night when she’s uprooted from her home. Using her own personal experience, the author puts so much emotion into Victoria and her story. Leaving you breathless and needing to pause at times to catch your breath.

The story, is quite realistic, sadly, when it comes to social workers, their absence and/or lack of empathy, as well as the appearance of a great home that may NOT be so great. I appreciate the transparency when it comes to this, and not a great over exaggeration.

My favorite part of Victoria’s story is her growth, and selflessness. You may not understand at first, but opening up about her situation is difficult for her. She’s slow to trust her new friends, and move forward. When it came to her younger sister, she braved it all to protect her, even though she wasn’t completely ready to comfort the situation. Or her Father.

As I said, this book hit close to home and I loved it so, so much.. Pick this up ASAP!

From page one we see Victoria dragged out of her home when her father accuses her of inappropriate conduct; she is then placed in foster care with Connie who appears to take in youths for "the measly stipend" the state provides. Victoria is confused: angry that her dad doesn't want her there as she had promised her mother (before she died of breast cancer) that she would care for and protect her dad. She is also sassy and often silent as admitting she is in foster care is humiliating. All aspects of The System are addressed, from the overworked social workers, to the frustrated foster parents, to the teachers who care about the welfare of their students. So if you ever were a foster parent, or a foster child, or love a child, or have ever seen a child...heck, if you ever WERE a child, this book will speak to you!

“No one can really see the quiet you carry, unless you let them.”

3.5 Stars

***Contains sensitive content such as sexual assault/molestation, suicide, self-harm, abuse, and eating disorders.***

Kicked out in the middle of the night by her father, Victoria Parker is now placed in a strict foster home. Away from the only home, she has ever known, Victoria desperately tries to convince everyone around her that this is a simple mistake. But her father refuses to let her come home and refuses to let Victoria contact her stepsister. Ashamed and scared, Victoria tries to get through this, but first, she must come to terms with WHY her father did what he did.

The Quiet You Carry is an emotional ride that takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions. I was not at all prepared for the emotions this book would give me. Tackling such difficult topics is super important and I think Nikki Barthelmess did a great job. This kind of content needs to be read about. And while its heart wrenching to read these kinds of subjects, its one of those stories that needs to be told.

That characters were what I appreciated the most. Victoria has such a strong character growth as the comes to terms with what happens to her. She struggles at first but eventually readjusts and makes future plans for herself. She comes into her own person and I loved that about her. But Christina, man oh man, did I love her. She was so supportive and such a wonderful friend. It’s friendship like that, that I cherish the most in these kinds of books. Kale was sweet and kind, the perfect friend/love interest for someone like Victoria. They were pretty cute together and I hope they are in fictional HEA together.

Speaking of happily ever after, the one downfall of this book for me was the ending. I wish I would have gotten a bit more detail about Victoria, Christina, Kale, and Jamie. I wanted to see where they ended up and how their lives turned out.

If you are not triggered by these subjects than I do highly recommend you read this. It’s a tough read but definitely worth it.

This was a good book that brought up difficult subjects. I really appreciated the look into the foster care system which is not something you see very often. Unfortunately it took me a while to get into the book. I didn’t really connect with the character and didn’t have the usual empathy that I experience books about things such as abuse. It was overall a good read.

I went into this book blindly. I decided to pick this book solely based on the cover and honestly, it surpassed my expectations!

The Quiet You Carry discussed a real and heavy issue. With the book being written in first POV, I was able to get into Victoria’s head. And oh, it was heartbreaking. Through this POV, we get a glimpse of her inner thought and have a bit more understanding about what’s inside an abuse survivor’s head. The flashbacks, the guilt, the shame, and finally, the acceptance.

I have to admit that this book moved in a slow pace. I was frustrated while reading the book - I just wanted to shake Victoria and said “IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT”. But I realised that it has to do with the circumstances. Through the way the book is written, we are watching how Victoria slowly came to acceptance that what her father did was wrong and that she should stand up for herself and let go of all the guilt and shame; that she doesn’t have to protect her father. I’m happy that the book ended in a happier note, that Victoria got her justice - she deserved it.

The Quiet You Carry is not the easiest book to read. It’s heavy, it feels raw, and it’s emotional. I’m glad that there are more gritty YA books out there. If you are looking to read a young adult fiction that talks about heavier issue and impactful, The Quiet You Carry is a book you should check out!

Title: The Quiet You Carry
Author: Nikki Barthelmess
Genre: YA
Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Victoria Parker lost her mother to cancer a few years ago, but promised she’d always take care of her father. Now he’s remarried, and she has a stepsister a little younger than herself, and her dad’s been acting weird. She knows something isn’t right, but she has no idea how not right it is—until she finds herself locked out of the house at 3 a.m. because her dad called the cops on her.

Now she’s in foster care away from everything she’s every known. The small country school is a nightmare, but she soon has a few friends…but she doesn’t let anyone know she’s in foster care. And she definitely doesn’t talk about why. Her dreams of college are the only things keeping her going. Certainly not her hateful foster mother.

But Victoria can’t stop worrying about her stepsister. She knows she must protect Sarah from her own father, but she can’t do it alone. She’ll have to give up her secrets if she’s to keep Sarah safe.

This is a book about some hard topics: abuse, foster care, the loss of a parent. Victoria spends a lot of time in denial, but the author takes care to show the reader why she’s in denial, and how she rationalizes things to herself. I found this story both horrifying and sad, but it’s very well-written and engrossing, and I highly recommend it.

Nikki Barthelmess is a journalist and an author. The Quiet You Carry is her debut novel.

(Galley courtesy of North Star Editions/Flux via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.)

Thank you so much to Flux North Star Edition and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

These kinds of books always make me want to scream and not necessarily at the author but at the characters in the book. This book shed so much light about how screwed up parents can be and how ridiculous and under budget our foster care systems are.

This book is about Victoria who has been noticing her dad staring at her more, touching her inappropriately which she chalks up to depression over her mother dying. After a night where he takes it too far Victoria finds herself locked out of her house in the cold with cop cars everywhere. She is taken to juvie and is then placed in foster care because her dad and stepmother don't want her in their house anymore. Victoria knows that everything her dad is saying is a lie but no one will believe her. When she starts to become scared for her stepsister still at home Victoria and her new friends try and get her out of the home and Victoria feels she can finally come clean about what really happened that night.

I loved all of the characters (except for the dad obviously) especially Victoria and Kale. Victoria made me sad at first because she was so withdrawn and holding everything in and not letting anyone help her. I can understand also why she didn't tell anyone what really happened because she thought no one would listen to her or believe her which is basically what ended up happening. The foster care system is so backed up and underpaid and unfortunately a lot of kids don't get the help they need and don't see their case workers as much as they should. Luckily she found two great friends at her new school that helped her open up and come to terms with what happened.

I love that the author herself spent time in foster care and could really write passionately about the foster care system as she went through it herself. I do feel this book should have came with some trigger warnings but I love how much it touched on sexual abuse and molestation within families. I feel like a lot of girls that have gone or are going through this could benefit greatly from reading this book.