What a beautiful story about divorce, new families, growing up in two homes and friendship. Following Bea’s journey through “tweenhood” as she struggles with her feelings and finds her truth with the help of her family and her therapist. Bea is relatable, likable and a character I think any middle grader would love to read about.

When Bea's parents announced they were divorcing, they gave her a notebook that listed all the things that would not change, filled with assurances of love and commitment to her. Over the years, Bea would add truths as well.

This story is framed around events at her father's second wedding when he and his partner Jesse formalize their commitment, with regular asides to provide the back story leading up to the event. Bea has wrestled with how her family has changed and struggled with friendships. She is discovering not all families are accepting and supportive and has to make decisions on how she will respond in those situations. Through it all, she has her friend Angus at her side, and her parents and other adult figures provide guidance.

I appreciated the ways the book normalized therapy; having a safe place to talk about any issue is key to coming to terms with your circumstances, even if it takes years to circle back to what is actually at the root of everything. I valued the snippets of truth dispensed as lessons Bea learned from her therapist and other adult figures in her life. Themes of commitment and family are at the forefront.

(I received a digital ARC from Random House Children's via NetGalley in exchange for my honest opinion.)

I wasn't interested in the dialogue and characters the tone wasn't too immature. I just couldn't connect.

Unpopular opinion warning:

I am so tired of more and more books are discussing such controversial topics with younger and younger audiences. Middle grade with gay parents getting married. I know, I'm a conservative who tends toward independent, and I truly believe all people are God's creations and we are meant to be love them. But I don't necessarily want my daughter reading about their weddings.

But that's what I get for not reading the description carefully I guess. Rebecca Stead has been known to write about hot topics, so I shouldn't be surprised.

No hate mail, please.

This is such an amazing book for younger readers. I finished this book with tears in my eyes because of how good it was. Bea feels like a real person. Rebecca Stead perfectly captured what children her age are like and how they think.

Rebecca Stead does it again with a heartwarming tale of one girl’s journey through some very emotional times.

I really like how supportive and loving both of Bea’s parents are, not just to Bea but also to each other. They divorced years ago and her dad is moving on to marry his boyfriend Jesse. I really liked the overall family love and support between them as a family.

I also really appreciate that Bea was in therapy, having started going after her parents divorce. Her relationship with her therapist was very sweet and nurturing. I think this was a great book to show how important mental health is, especially in little ones as they navigate big emotions and an ever changing world.

I also thought the way Sonia, Jesse’s daughter from his previous marriage, and Bea interact was very real and sweet. There is so much change going on with each of these girl’s, especially because Sonia lives in CA (Bea is in NY) and Bea has always wanted a sister. With that comes a very gently opening friendship and then sisterhood which spans the miles, and I’m so glad this was treated the way it was. There’s a lot of emotional drama and stuff going on beneath the surface for Sonia that Bea can’t see. Beatrice really focuses on her feelings and how she can be there for Sonia as she finds herself also dealing with some past guilt.

Of course there is also someone who disapproves of the wedding, etc. And Bea has to grapple with what this really means to her and her family as well as how she played a part in it. And while this incident was painful, I appreciated that it wasn’t the focus of the book and the story really centers around love and acceptance and family.

Overall, Stead’s newest book is well written, focusing on families of all shapes and sizes, across 3,000 miles or only a few blocks. It’s about a girl trying to fit in and handling change and dealing with some big feelings.

The List of Things That Will Not Change is a beautifully and sensitively written novel by Rebecca Stead. Released 7th April 2020 by Penguin Random House on their Wendy Lamb imprint, it's 224 pages and available in hardcover, audio, and ebook formats.

There are few adult writers in my experience who seem to have a good ear for the actual priorities and inner thoughts of middle grade / tween readers, and Ms. Stead is one of the few. This is a very well written and engaging book which has a frankness and reality which is often missing from juvenile literature. The first person point of view adds another layer of directness and the whole has an authenticity which is arresting.

The blurb description is accurate and complete, so I won't try to reiterate. I'd just add that inclusivity and representation are *SO* vital (for everyone, not just kids). Presenting a new normal and family changes written in a first person voice without ever once condescending or being disingenious to the audience is admirable and the author has done it so well here.

Protagonist Bea is a nice kid, normal, not a paragon of virtue or extremely smart, clever, or athletic. She's "everyman" and that's what made her both sympathetic and relatable. Her family has undergone seismic shifts, her dad is remarrying (a man), which is bringing even more changes (stepsiblings). The reality isn't always the same as the dreams and expectations we have and the author renders the story deftly and well.

This is, and will continue to be, classic children's literature. It shouldn't be controversial in any way, but I fear it will garner resistance from some quarters. This would make a superlative library or class library choice, gift for a young reader, and all ages.

Five stars, lovely story very well told.

There are some Middle Grades novels that I LOVE, and some that feel like they are written for 9-year-olds. The sign of a great Middle Grades book for me? I’d recommend it to grown-ups who are in direct contact with a Middle Grades audience. I’d recommend this book to my students and my grown-up friends! I’ll be buying this for my school library in the fall.

Rebecca Stead has delivered another touching realistic fiction middle grades novel that deals with issues that are timely today. This book deals with divorce. and blending new families. This book also is LGBT inclusive.

Rebecca Stead digs deep, real deep, into the mind of her protagonist in The List Of Things That Will Not Change. The result is brilliantly beautiful at times, but frustratingly boring at other times.

The List of Things I Liked About This Book:
1. Bea is extremely thoughtful. She doesn’t skirt details. Even the most minor things. I said, Stead digs deep. Maybe deeper than any middle grade first-person novel I can remember reading.
2. Bea’s telling of her story feels genuine. Like a kid telling you a story and jumping all over the place, going off in tangents. Authentic feeling.
3. Bea’s relationship with her therapist Miriam is great. And this is something I think we need to see more of in middle grade fiction.
4. The story about corn that bookends the novel is nice.
5. Stead tackles many relevant social topics and issues without making the book feel like she has something to say. There are some heavy topics covered, but the book doesn’t feel heavy.
6. There is a lot of love in Bea’s family and Stead shows this in so many subtle ways (like Bea’s mother squeezing her hand.)
7. I like Stead’s style of writing. How she sees her stories. It’s like she lays a story out in her mind, deconstructs it, and tells it just a bit differently than straightforward. Keeps readers on their toes. Every little detail or wandering thought usually connects back to something. Not quite as much in this book as her previous ones but you can still spot the style.

The List of Things That Hold Me Back From Really Loving This Book:
1. The word “boring” is in the eye of the beholder, but I, personally, had a difficult time staying interested in the plot.
2. Bea’s voice threw me for a loop. She’s supposed to be 12 or 13, looking back and telling us a story that happened when she was 10. But the narrative sounds like she’s currently 10. Not 12 or 13, looking back at 10. This, plus jumping around so much, frequently pulled my attention away from the story.
3. I couldn’t help but think that Bea’s mother was underdeveloped as a character. This really could have been her story as much as the father’s, but we don’t get to know her in the same way that we get to know Bea’s father.

This seemed to be a more personal book than anything Stead has ever written and books like that are most difficult to comment on as a reader. There’s a lot in this book that will resonate with kids. I can think of a few that I am going to hand it to immediately. Rebecca Stead is such a fantastic writer and it makes me happy that someone with her amazing talent chooses to use it writing books for kids.

I LOVE this story. The diversity wasn't forced and the main character was so real. I enjoyed the way this dealt with real issues but in a way that was accessible to children. I definitely will be recommending this on my blog.

As usual, Rebecca Stead writes about people we want to know and who already feel familiar. Her main characters come alive, and even the secondary characters are strong.

Bea, a child of amicably divorced parents, finds it difficult to live two lives, one with each parent. She compares her double lives to watching two moons outside her window. But as she matures, she adjusts. Her father is openly gay, and his partner, Jesse, comes to live with them. Finally, the two men decide to get married. Bea is super excited because she loves Jesse and because he has a daughter her age, the sister she's always wanted. But when she and Sonia finally meet, things do not go smoothly, and Bea questions if they will ever be friends.

There is much to like here. The relationships seem multi-layered and real. The wedding details are exquisite. While the couple face prejudice, they prevail with the love and support of their inner circle of family and friends. I recommend this book to fans of well-written, realistic fiction that helps one see multiple points of view. Recommended for grades five through eight.

This book "handles a difficult topic" without making it feel handled. The main character is a 5th grade only child who splits her time equally between her mother's house and her father's house. When they first divorced they gave her a notebook with a "List of Things That Will Not Change" and as she grows and matures she add to that list. The events that cause her to add to the initial list her parents had prepared for her when they told her about the divorce are explained in first person as the story of her life, than a single sentence is added to the notebook. She explains her father's recently acknowledged homosexuality, her visits with a psychiatrist, her mother's lack of a social life, and her want for a sibling. As her life takes on a new form throughout her year as a fifth grader, she adds to "The List" and acknowledges that change is often better than what has always been.

A touching, warm middle-grade book about a young girl, Bea, struggling with her feelings in the midst of her dad's re-marriage to his boyfriend, Jesse. Bea really likes Jesse, and is beyond excited to get a sister from the marriage, even one who lives across the country, but she still struggles with anxiety, and worries how her family will fit together in this new situation.

I really liked the book, and there were so many good things about it: I liked all the characters, Bea's relationship with guilt and anxiety felt super-realistic to me, the loving families made the book heartwarming while still dealing with real issues. There's just not much bad to say about this book, but I ended up giving it 4-stars because it didn't hook me in the way the absolute best books of this genre do. Nevertheless, it's a good book, and I have no reservations about recommending it.

Some authors have a wonderful gift for understanding how young people think and feel. Rebecca Stead demonstrates this gift in "The List of Things That Will Not Change," a slice-of-life story about a girl, Bea, navigating her parents' divorce and her father's later remarriage. Bea is in fifth-grader the year of the remarriage (when most of the story takes place) and her voice does feel like a younger middle-grade, so I would recommend this title for upper-elementary readers.

Thank you so much to #NetGalley and Wendy Lamb Books for the ARC.

I adored this book! I recommended it to my friend to read. She's a middle school english teacher and she is using it for her after school book club.
Bea reminded me so much of me in my younger days and this tugged at my heartstrings.
Rebecca Stead is so gifted for taking such a "hard" topic (divorce etc) and making it relatable and written perfectly.

I read Stead’s first book, When You Reach Me, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I purchased it for my nephew’s birthday and my son’s private school’s library. This book on the other hand felt contrived. I’m going to skip summarizing the story in my review and focus on the review itself.

This book was more about the message than the characters. Contrived is the perfect adjective for this story. It felt like propaganda to me. The entire message of the book came down to the idea that those who bless gay marriage are loving, good people and those who don’t bless gay marriage are cold and ignorant. Not only that, but Stead didn’t even bother to develop the homophobic character at all. She didn’t give that person feelings or morals or friends or even an ounce of love or compassion. So we are only getting one side of the story. I find that unfair.

I believe you can write your story and build empathy for one particular character, but don’t do it to the exclusion of the antagonist’s humanity. When someone doesn’t approve of gay marriage it doesn’t mean they aren’t sympathetic, understanding people.

I’m sure you now think I’m homophobic. I’m not. I’ve purposely read books from all viewpoints on this topic. To me, love is about relationship, not dos and don'ts. This topic is very complicated and it can’t be tied up with a neat bow no matter which side you fall on.

I will give this 2 stars. I appreciate the positive portrayal of counseling, empathy, apologizing and offering forgiveness. It was nice to see the adult parents work together to coparent in peaceable, sacrificial ways. Bea’s bravery to face the difficulties in her life was commendable.

Here's something I'd put on my personal list of things that will not change: I love Rebecca Stead's books! The first-person narration is compelling and distinctive. Anxiety is a big issue with a lot of children and this book explores how talking to a therapist can help. Divorce, having an LGBTQ parent, and blended families are also explored with sensitivity and good humor.

This was a great book for parents going through situations like Bea. I loved how Bea wasn't perfect and was able to have mistakes and fix them. I also enjoyed how the parents both talked to their kids and understood them. Great ending of the book. It was a bit slow in the middle part where Bea wrote letters to her sister Sonia. But it does play out well in the end.

Beatrice is a middle school student dealing with her parents’ divorce after her father reveals that he is gay. Bea’s first person account follows her experience non-linearly from before her parents’ announcement to her father’s eventual marriage to Jesse, who was also married to a woman and has a daughter Bea’s age. While Bea seems excited at the prospect of a sister, her new step-father Jesse, and helping plan the wedding, she clearly has some stress and anxiety that she works out with her therapist. Bea is put in situations, sometimes by her own choices, that require her to learn the hard way about family struggles, bigotry, fear and insecurity, love, and forgiveness.

I have read all of Rebecca Stead’s books with my nine-year-old daughter. When we discovered the upcoming publication of THE LIST OF THINGS THAT WILL NOT CHANGE she was eager for more from her favorite author. I was concerned the subject would be too much for her. I was wrong. She embraced Bea, was excited for the wedding, asked intelligent questions, and understood the story better than i expect many adults would have.

This is a beautiful story of love and its challenges in many forms. Another five star book from Rebecca Stead.