I think the title needs to be different - it should be "THIS is Why We Can't Sleep". Going into the book, I assumed it was going to be a book about helping women get their sleep back in middle age years. Instead, the book made me more anxious when I read about all the admittedly true and real reasons of why we are up all night worrying. And this tension built up to one very short conclusion, so was not reassuring for the reader at all. I hope that the author will eventually come up with solutions and write a follow-up a few years from now.

While "Why We Cant Sleep" is specifically meant for Gen X women, as a millennial there are a lot of things in this book that I can identify with. A lot of the things Gen X women are facing are also faced by older millennials. I was raised by Boomers, and have 3 Gen X siblings, so I feel a lot of the same things they do. I think most older millennials could also relate to this book. The world we face and are in is not the one we were promised as kids, where if we worked hard we could be or do anything we wanted to. Time goes by so fast, and here we are in our 30s with almost nothing to show for it as a generation. Its great to know that we aren't the only ones, sometimes, even if we wouldn't wish the circumstances we're facing on our worst enemy. Social Security will be tapped out before we even get to use it, and thats a frightening thought.

Why Can’t We Sleep is a non-fiction book made for Gen X women who, as the title implies, really need some shut eye.

I read an excerpt of this book in a magazine what feels like at least a year ago and I was very excited to get my hands on an advance review copy in exchange for an honest review. Honestly, this book rocks. It’s the catharsis you’ve been waiting for!

“We’re the first generation of women raised from birth hearing the tired cliche “having it all”—then discovering as adults it is very hard having even some of it.

Likening middle age to the latter stages of a losing Tetris game, Calhoun makes the case that not only do we have to make life-changing decisions at this point in our lives, we are also dealing with a Molotov cocktail of hormones in the form of peri- and regular menopause. Our stress makes our hormonal symptoms worse, which in turn increases our stress.

In part, I read this book at night before trying to sleep because my nighttime reading (The Snowman) was in danger of giving me nightmares.

While this book may have not helped me sleep, it did make me feel like a GenXer 100%. Moments of my life, touchstones like the Challenger explosion and latchkey kids, are used to illustrate why middle age is such a difficult time for us. Far from being coddled, many of us were ignored and left to deal with trauma alone. This wasn’t considered neglect; it was just the way it was. In fact, it’s possible our generation has higher than normal rates of Reactive Attachment Disorder, causing is to have problems forming loving relationships, stemming from our childhood and lack of caregivers. And this is why we are so careful with our own children, wanting to spare them the pain of our own childhood.

The author discusses Generation Alone, a book about Gen X’s spiritual life, quoting, “in aloneness, one’s life is filled with nothing but the clutter and busyness of activity and, all to often, the painful memories of one’s own past.” While I’m a younger X with little kids and thus exhaustion more than any of these other emotions, this still hits very close to home.

The entire book is like this, having your issues explained in painstaking detail as if your BFF wrote the book rather than an author you’ve never met. If you think your midlife problems originate from anything other than being a GenX (or Gen X adjacent) woman, well this book has some interesting arguments about why you’re wrong.

thank you for the opportunity to review Why We Can't Sleep by Ada Calhoun. This book communicates many of the thoughts I've been discussing with friends and colleagues, and adds yet more to the mix. Calhoun also articulates the reality of this kind of hidden (but burdened) demographic. Well done!

I will leave 5 star review on Amazon under name of Connie

While I'm a Baby Boomer, a lot of the points in the book about GenX applied to me. There are physical issues that effect our sleep that common place for GenX, as well as stresses on them being caught in the middle with children & aging parents both needing their attention & care.

What I have in common with the GenX is how screen time & social media add to our stress & the impact it has on our sleep.

As a working mother, this book was an eye-opening look at the modern struggles of modern day women. Faced with higher expectations than ever, lack of sleep is the least of our worries. This very readable book shines a light on this issue and gives thought-provoking arguments for how we can make a change!

Hm. When I asked for the book I was sure it was a book calling for me. Very soon I learned it doesn't and wouldn't. Born in 1962 - I figured I'd be able to relate, somehow, but I couldn't. Interesting experience, though.
Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for providing a copy!

“You come to this place, midlife. You don’t know how you get here, but suddenly you’re staring 50 in the face!” Yes this was me 6 years ago when i turned the big 5-0 and I knew this book was written about me. Especially with the title as I have not slept good in YEARS!! But this book is more about the facts of being in the Generation X group of women which according to this book, I miss it by a year since I was born in 1963. I found myself skimming large sections because I was losing interest. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this book and this is my honest opinion.

I received an ARC of Why We Can't Sleep by Ada Calhoun in exchange for a fair review.
Why We Can't Sleep should be ready by anyone who considers themselves part of Generation X, knows someone who is part of Generation X, or is interested in psychology or sociology. The interviews with a variety of women and their common themes are reassuring, but the objective analysis of how we got to this point is outstanding. I look forward to re-reading this book, I think I will get more out of it each time I review it.

A book that focuses on Gen X women (many of whom are currently in their forties and fifties) and the reasons many are feeling anxious or dissatisfied with how their lives have turned out. It discusses their childhood experiences including being minimally supervised and the sky high divorce rate. Many Gen Xers are overly cautious and feel that everything is up to them (they can't rely on others for support. They focused on careers, putting off marriage and kids until they felt secure but then many not being able to find partners or conceive children. On top of that, they graduated college when jobs were shrinking and disappearing making it harder to accumulate wealth, a lot of which was lost in the recessions and housing bust. Now they are dealing with menopause and perimenopause which is not widely discussed and are in the dark about how that affects them. Very interesting and informative.

I picked up this book because I thought it was going to help me sleep through the night. That really wasn’t what this book was about. The facts were interesting as a Generation X and how midlife is affecting us and why. At times, I felt that there was just so much negative. But I do agree, many of us are not where we are in life we thought we would be at this time.

This book was an interesting insight to why women of Generation X (those entering middle age now) are struggling with the challenges of middle age. From menopause to thinking we should have had it all by now, Calhoun explores some commonly held beliefs and the stress they cause. She goes into depth about why this Generation is dealing with different and unique stresses than the ones that came before. She also offers ideas of reframing the stress and other ways to minimize the impact on your life as everything goes haywire in middle age. This book was an informative book and I really felt its message.

4 stars

I received a complimentary e-book copy of this book from Grove Press through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. Thank you to Ada Calhoun, Grove Press, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this book.

This is a really hard book to review. It was very funny, very sobering, very educational, very empowering, and very scholastic at times. To me, this book was the VERY best when it was funny AND educational!! The author is REALLY FUNNY at times. However, I felt that it was a little heavy with the educational and scholastic at times with a paragraph filled with multiple quotations and/or citations. It was a little tedious at times.

But, the information was very good about a multitude of issues that are affecting Late Baby Boomers, Generation X, and Early Millenials. I was born in the Baby Boomer generation, but connect with Generation X so much more. So there is good stuff for all three generations. The most interesting to me was the complete lack of discussion and available literature for and among women about perimenopause and menopause. This is an important area of women's health where we must and can do better!!

This is a great book for women 3o years of age+!!! Definite recommend

I thought the premise of this book was fascinating, particularly because I am the subject of Calhoun's research - a female Gen Xer. Her exploration of my generation and how our experiences growing up contributed to the midlife crises we find ourselves in today is thorough and illuminating. However, while her intention was to provide a reassurance for the reader, I found her message a bit dreary. I'm not sure a woman in the throes of a midlife crisis, - be it financial, emotional, social, or any other - would finish this book and feel good about her future. I didn't find that I related to many of the women Calhoun interviewed, which made it difficult for me to sustain interest at times. It's a worthwhile read, nonetheless, and I appreciate the deep dive into my cohort's experiences.

Ada Calhoun's book was written for the Generation X, a generation I am just a couple years too young to identify with, but as being on the cusp I see some similarities. I, too, feel overworked, underappreciated, exhausted, and not listened to. So, despite being billed as a book for Gen-X, older Millennials will likely find this book helpful and relate-able, as well.

"Life-work balance" could very well be the catch-phrase of the modern working-woman. It's something that we keep hearing that we need to make more room for, but, at the same time, we're getting messages that if we strive for "life-work balance" where a man is not, then we are somehow responsible for the current wage gap. Calhoun talks about both this and other issues facing the contemporary middle-aged woman and how it's affecting our happiness. She also ventures a few solutions for how to get yourself out of the rut. All-in-all, it's an interesting sociological and political exploration, and definitely thought-provoking. I would recommend it to any one finding themselves in the same predicament.

Thank you to Ada Calhoun, Grove Atlantic, and NetGalley for allowing me early access to the e-book for this review. As always, all opinions are my own.

I am a Gen X woman and I can't sleep. Are you? This book is for others like us or who are interested in understanding us. Although this book literally does cover insomnia, it also, more importantly, covers the myriad of things that Gen X women are thinking about and worried about. We have a unique set of worries, like every generation, and Calhoun is able to put into words what being a Gen X,middle age woman is all about. This book is great for finding out we are not alone, starting to understand ourselves better, giving ourselves grace and starting to live from a better place.

I was provided an advance copy by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This is a book-length expansion of the article that rocked my and my friends' world, about the midlife crisis of Gen X women. It goes into much greater depth about all the things we are up against, at work and in our families and in our bodies and in our culture, to explain the specific struggle we women in our 40s and 50s currently face. The first few chapters cover well-trod ground--work-life balance, child care, parental leave--with a lot of research to back it up but not a lot of new insight. However, the latter chapters delve into topics I hadn't thought about a lot, and at the end there are some pretty profound insights about how we conceptualize our lives. Calhoun has always been a thoughtful and incisive writer, and this book was sorely needed as a voice for the challenges women my age are facing. #whywecantsleep #netgalley

As a Gen X woman so many of the concerns addressed by the book resonated with me. It almost had the feel of talking to your girlfriends with some research behind the concerns.

There were many concerns that I thought thank goodness this isn't my problem, yet. Other concerns were comforting to see that I wasn't alone To a degree the book started to stress me out because chapter after chapter it was problem after problem but no solutions. The last chapter gave me hope.

If as a GenX woman you are feeling a little overwhelmed and wonder why I would suggest this book to help understand and know that you aren't alone.

Have you seen that meme? The one about your brain at 3 am waking you to review every dumb and cringe-worthy thing you have done lately? Then this is the book for you, especially if you are part of Generation X.

In her fascinating end notes, the author tells us that there is a range of years that can be called Generation X. One range is 1965-1984, from the movie Dr. Zhivago to the movie Ghostbusters. Another range is 1965-1980. Whichever range you pick, if you are a Gen X-er, this is the book for you. You may be single, married or considering divorce; you may want or not want children and you may be caught up in the busy childhood years; do you have parents who need help, too? And what about your health- do you exercise, diet, meditate? Are you in peri-menopause or menopause? No wonder you can’t sleep at night. I advise you to read this book with your friends and discuss it. You will find that author Ada Calhoun is like a friend, as she giveus friendly, comforting, and well-considered facts and advice. She also includes a lengthy and fabulous “Midlife Crisis Mixtape.”

The book consists of research and the author’s interviews with Gen X women, all blended in an interesting and relatable way. The writing is positive and encouraging, even while describing some grim scenes. There is no shrieking or gnashing of teeth, more like bemused reflections. In addition to chapters that consider the challenges of Gen X, the author also presents some solutions. I especially liked her advice to join a club or start a club. I highlighted so many passages in this book.

I loved, loved loved this book and I am in the Baby Boomer Generation- but I remember my middle decades all too well (and so does my brain at 3 am.) I agree with the book- as an older person I AM now happier and yes, Gen X friend, someday you will be me. In the meantime, read this book!

Many thanks to Net Galley and Grove Press for a digital review co-y. This is my honest review.

The book will be great for the Generation X to reflect on their lives and how everything around them has effect them. The author also talks about the important events that she feels effects their health and lives, and at the end she briefly talks about what the Generation X can do to make them feel better.
Unfortunately, I found the book more a complaint about how other generations had it great while Generation X had no choice but to follow all the information given to them without a thought and that it wasn't their fault that they follow it and that is why they are so anxious, which I find just an excuse for not taking responsibility for their choices.