I honestly enjoyed the book. I was invested in the chat characters emotionally. My only issue was the ending. I feel like I didn’t get closure. I would have giving this five stars if they had resolved the things in the end and I know that alway happen in life but now I’m stuck wondering.

In We Used to be Friends by Amy Spalding, teen girls James and Kat experience the heartbreak of the best friend breakup. I think I would have liked the book more if it was told in a linear fashion - instead it is a dual-voice of James's story working backwards starting from when she leaves for college, and Kat's story moving forwards. I found it increasingly confusing, especially reading it as an ebook rather than print (in which I could at least flip back and forth through when I got mixed up). I think the heartbreak would've hit a lot harder if they were in tandem, as well. While James is more of a stoic character who doesn't want to tell her best friend about the tough stuff going on in her life, Kat is the one who can't stop talking about her own life and doesn't often stop to hear anyone else anyway. I've known girls like both James and Kat so I found their portrayals to be achingly real, I just still think the gut punch would've been harder if we experienced their slow break-up at the same time as them. They really go through years of inching through their falling-apart friendship as Kat meets a girlfriend who James feels replaces her, and James pulls farther and farther away. I think the forwards/backwards concept was interesting and an attempt at making a conventional writing style different, but it didn't land for me.

At the beginning of their senior year, James and Kat are best friends. By graduation they aren't speaking.
Amy Spalding tells the story of the disintegration of their friendship.

We Used to Be Friends is told in alternating timelines. Kat's timeline moves forward in time and James's moves backward. This plot device was a little much. I think the intent is for the plot to become a puzzle that the reader tries to put together. Unfortunately, while interesting, the dueling timelines were also confusing. I had a hard time remembering if events had already happened or not as James and Kat's timelines crossed and then diverged.

What becomes clear over the course of the book is that neither James nor Kat is completely at fault or completely blameless. Both characters are unlikable at points in the story. James is not very supportive (and sometimes downright dismissive) of Kat's emerging sexuality, and Kat is too caught up in her own life to see how badly James is suffering. Both characters are also dealing with external circumstances that impact their well-being and friendship, and not everything that transpires can be laid at someone's feet.

Overall, an interesting story with some structural challenges.

This book is such a cool concept of time and storytelling. It’s super interesting for YA genre. I mean, who hasn’t lost a friend of a best friend? I know I have! Quite a few along the years. So this book definitely takes one back down memory lane with all the feels.

<i> Thank you NetGalley and Harry N. Abrams for this Advanced Copy! </i>

This was such a lovely, but bittersweet tale of fading friendship, something I feel like I have never seen in full force in a novel.

We Used to Be Friends by Amy Spalding tells the story of childhood best friends Kat and James as they retell the events in a dual-perspective of their falling out and more during their senior year of high school as they experience break ups, college pressures, and family issues.

The simply genius structure of this book plus extremely well-developed characters made me feel ALL the emotions. The book discusses a lot of topics and the dynamics between James and Kat left me with the bittersweet feelings of lost friendship, while leaving hope for the future.

I recommend this to anyone who enjoys a good coming-of-age or friendship based book and I can only leave you with a box of tissues you might need. :')

I really liked how this book told the story of this friendship from both points of view and from different time points (one beginning at the beginning of the school year and one at the end). It was a unique perspective. I think anyone would be able to relate to this book. It was a good read.

James and Kat have always been two peas in a pod...until they're not. By the time they both reach graduation they no longer talk. The story is told in two timelines - essential the before and after. Some of the chapters focus on moving forward, while others talk about the past. I have to admit at first this was really confusing to me - but once I understood I really liked the concept. My main thing in books is I always want to see what happens after the conclusion, so this was a good medium to getting more of what the readers want.

This book hit really close to me as I had gone through a situation similar to this recently and felt like I could relate so much to the characters and the story. When Kat gets her first girlfriend things start to change her relationship with James. Unknowingly to Kat, James has been dealing with her own personal demons. After finding out that her only image of love (her parents) are getting divorced things start to spiral down after that point in time. James starts sharing less and less with Kat until the two have an explosive fight that leaves them no longer speaking.

It just really goes to show that no matter how long you're friends with someone, all of it can change within a moment in time. The ending of the book made me hopeful in realizing that sometimes friends will always be there for you no matter what has happened.

We Used To Be Friends by Amy Spalding tells the story of two best friends who were once inseparable, but life happens and now they are growing further and further apart.

I enjoyed the format of dual timelines as we are able to delve into the girls’ own struggles separately and really understand where the conflict is coming from. One is scared of what the future holds, while the other is anticipating the road ahead and is more than ready to find out what is out there for her. It’s a problem I’m sure everyone can relate to at any age and I’m glad this book brings it to light. However, the girls’ personal relationships take a backseat in this novel as this book centers around their friendship and the relationship they have with each other.

The friendship between James and Kis the kind of friendship that any person would be lucky to have. The constant hourly texting, the weird telepathy that only you and your best friend have. However, this novel does not shy away from the problems that you may only experience when you have that kind of friendship with someone-- feeling of uncertainty when you feel the dynamic change, when it’s not just you and the bestie anymore, and the struggle of having to find time for each other when life gets in the way.

I guess the gradual breakdown of their friendship is what broke my heart the most because you could just see how pure and relatable the characters were, and it made you want to shake them for not doing what should’ve been done, but at the same time understanding their actions. I guess this novel teaches us that while you could have the strongest friendship with someone at the end of the day, we are all separate people that live separate lives and deal with our own separate struggles.

This book tells the raw truth of friendship breakups. It is painful but its realistically possible- and I think this book captures the essence of that perfectly.

4 stars

Thank you NetGalley and Amulet Books for providing me with an advanced reader's copy of 'We Used to be Friends' by Amy Spalding

I found this book kind of hard to get into. I really loved the characters but the plot felt a little pointless and disorienting. I wished it had more of a clear ending and that the plot points felt more momental.

The synopsis of this title had me hooked. Unfortunately the book itself fell flat. The characters didn’t connect me to the book in any way. This was not a ya book I recommend.

More heartbreaking than the loss of a boyfriend or girlfriend, is the loss of your best friend. The one who knows all your secrets and who will back you no matter what. The one that you can count on at 2am to drop everything just to be there.

This is the story of just that. Kat and James have been best friends since kindergarten. Now in their final year of high school things are changing. The shift in the friendship happens gradually and that makes it even more heartbreaking.

Told in dual voices, uniquely, one voice starting at the end of the story and the alternating voice starting at the beginning. I really enjoyed this YA story.

I don't think I've read a book about friend breakup before, and I really enjoyed this book. The timelines were a little difficult to used to, but I figured it out after a couple chapters. James's story is told backward in time while Kat's in told going forward, after finishing the book it makes a lot more sense to have it told that way. It would be too much drama to have both storylines told in the same direction. 

I think there is an expectation for there to be mega drama between girls who's friendship is ending, but there isn't in this one, and because of that, it felt so real and is all the more heartbreaking. 

James and Kat have been friends their whole lives, and when they're in their senior year of high school, they grow apart. It happens. After Kat broke up with her long-term boyfriend on the first day of senior year, she finds new interests and new friends. She starts dating a girl and comes out as bisexual. There a lot going on in Kat's life she's growing, and while all this is happening, James's life is falling apart and how I understood it, James didn't feel like she could confide in Kat anymore because of who Kat has become. So James holds it all in.

Sometimes long-term friendships can blind you to things about someone and when something little changes, all of a sudden the person you thought you knew isn't as perfect as you thought. That's what happens to James. 

There are so many books about romantic relationships and so few about friendships. I picked this book from the Netgalley list because it was about friendship. I don't think I've read a book like this before. I really enjoyed it. I connected with these characters and understood their motives and how hard it is to watch someone you love become a different person and not know where your relationship stands. 

If this were real life, I think there would be a chance for Kat and James to repair their friendship, but it will never be what it was when they were in school. People grow apart, people evolve and it hurts sometimes to look at your best friend and not know who they are anymore, and I think that's the point of the story. We grow up and evolve and need different things from relationships. 

Overall, I think this is a book you should pick up. It's different there is honestly very little drama so if you're looking for that, this isn't the book for you. But it explores how growing up and learning who you are on the cusp of adulthood can change so many things in your life. It's good.

I could definitely relate to some aspects of this story so I appreciate even the very existence of this book. Having drifted apart from a strong friendship myself I can relate to what the character in this book are feeling, the mix of emotions. I was so happy to see thay finally a book has shown how painful 'friend breakups' can be as they are truly awful. It does have to be said however some parts of the book did fall slightly flat for me, but the really emotive scenes where just that. Almost a great read just not quite there, but I would definitely read more of the authors books.

Thanks NetGalley for the preview! I really like this book right up until the end. I was shocked and disappointed about the ending-I wouldn't classify it as a cliff hanger but it was very open ended. With the last chapter being the furthest in the past I found it unsatisfying. The characters were interesting but I found myself against Kat quite a bit. I liked that the characters were different enough that you could easily tell them apart, however, the time jumping got confusing at times. I'd say that this book could have been a 4 star for me but the abrupt ending moved it down to a 3 star.

I swear friendship breakups hit you harder than relationship breakups! I am still reeling from breakups I've had with high school or college friends and I found myself crying throughout multiple points in this book. I loved it loved it loved it!

That last chapter cuts like a kniiiiiiiife.

I really liked the concept of this book, which was about two girls slowly becoming distant and their friendship dissolving over the course of their senior year of high school. Plus, one POV was going forward in time while another was going backwards.

I really wanted to read this because I lost my high school bff my first year of college because we drifted apart, and it hurt for a long, long time. And, plus, so many books focus on romantic relationships instead of female friendships, which are actually really important?

Unfortunately Kat was just. The worst. By the mid point I was wondering how the heck James had put up with her for so long. She was overdramatic and self-absorbed and focused all of her attention on her new girlfriend (side note: I feel like Quinn and Kat are probably doomed to break up about halfway through their freshman year at college). So it was hard to be sympathetic and not pick a side, which I'm sure wasn't the author's intention.

Anyway, this has been on my TBR for a whole so I'm glad I finished it.

When researching for my LGBTQ+ books releases in 2020 series, this one caught my eye. As well as featuring a bisexual main character and a f/f romance, it also focuses on the end of friendships and how they can be as heartbreaking as romantic break-ups. The story switches POVs between both Kat and James as well as jumping timelines. This is the thing I struggled most with in the story as sometimes the jumps could be very confusing and the story didn’t flow as well as I hoped because of it. However, that was my only problem with the book.
As always with books featuring more than one character’s POVs, I connected a lot more with Kat’s character. It was interesting to read about her blossoming relationship with girlfriend, Quinn as well as dealing with her grief after losing her mother. I loved her relationship with her dad, especially when Kat comes out. In terms of her sexuality, it is explored throughout the novel and there are plenty of conversations around the label she chooses for herself. James is also struggling with her family life after her parents separate and she is left resenting both her mother and her new boyfriend. Again, James also has a good relationship with her dad which was lovely to read.
There are quite a few side characters but not much information is provided about them outside of their involvement with either Kat or James – but they also provide the addition of how friendship breakups can affect the whole friendship group. The story also focuses a lot on the worries teenagers experience over what to do after school and colleges/futures feature a lot. I think this book nails being a teenager perfectly – with all the worries and drama that can come with it.
Overall, I really love that we have a diverse YA novel that also focuses on a friendship breakup as it isn’t an angle we see a lot of. It was frustrating as a reader seeing how both James and Kat were falling apart and knowing it was inevitable but it’s also real life and a heartbreaking time that a lot of people have gone through. If it wasn’t for the sometimes confusing timeline switches, then this book would have been perfect for me. However, I will say that it may just be a me thing so I’d definitely not let that put you off.

This book is about how some friendships change and erode over time. We read about romantic breakups all the time but this is the first book I think I've read about a friendship breakup. The way the friendship breaks down throughout the book is totally relatable to anyone who has ever struggled with growing pains in a friendship. Sometimes they work out, but sometimes they just don't. I liked James a lot and I found myself relating to her quite a bit. I was very annoyed with Kat, however, and I found the alternating timelines confusing. Spalding gets extra points for actually using the word 'bisexual' to describe Kat.

This broke my heart in a good way. Friendship breakups are so under-addressed in society and in YA lit and I'm so pleased to see that changing this year. Spalding pulls off dual timelines successfully, and her characters are bright, nuanced, and real. Plus both have very swoony significant others. I loved how she managed to address James' and Kat's friendships, romantic lives, family lives, and college decisions pretty equally without the book feeling overstuffed with plots. One I will definitely recommend to my teen readers at the library.

I just could not connect to these characters or their story. I thought maybe I just wasn't in the right mindset for this particular book so I put it down for several weeks... but when I attempted to read it again, I found that I felt the same way as before. Both of the characters have the same voice, which is off-putting in a dual narrative story.