Sadly I had to DNF this as it just wasn't for me. I think I was just a little too old for it and couldn't get into it. I will mark it as 3 stars as it isn't really a criticism of the book but more that I am not it's target audience.

Before starting high school, BFFs James and Kat buried a time capsule in tribute to their friendship. When it comes time to dig it up after senior year the two are barely speaking. What made the “Forever” in BFF end for these two former BFFs? The end of their friendship is told in alternating chapters: James’s start after the end of senior year, Kat’s at the beginning. The shifting timelines may confuse some readers. Yet as one reads on the events alluded to in James’s chapters become clearer when reading about it as it happens from Kat’s perspective. What immediately becomes clear is that James and Kat are two different people and the end of their friendship is inevitable. There wasn’t one dramatic moment that ended their friendship, it was more like the two had grown apart. And yes, the end of their friendship is as heartbreaking if not more so. In balancing the two viewpoints, readers may prefer one over the other, yet it wasn’t any one thing that ended the girl’s friendship. Other books that focus on changing friendships include Little Do We Know by Tamara Ireland Stone and Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee by Jeff Zentner.

Thank you NetGalley for providing an ARC for this book.

Best friends since kindergarten, James and Kat grow apart in their senior year. Kat is entering a new relationship, while James just ended one. Their friendship becomes strained. The novel is told from both Kat and James’s perspectives, but while Kat chapters happen linearly, James’s chapter are told going backward in time. Both girls grow and change.

I liked the opening chapter of the book, it’s introspective and bittersweet. I like James’s boyfriend, Logan. They have a sweet relationship, even after the breakup. Kat’s girlfriend, Quinn is an interesting character. I enjoyed the conflicts both James and Kat had with their parents.

The ending of the novel is understated, but poignant. The format of the book is innovative.

I didn’t like the writing style, it’s simplistic. There’s hardly any description and a lot of telling.

The novel lacks emotional depth. For example, the reader doesn’t witness Kat and Quinn falling for each other. Kat and Quinn meet, a month passes between chapters, and in Quinn’s second scene they get together. If the interactions happening between these scenes were shown, the characters becoming a couple would have more impact.

Other relationships also suffer. Kat and James have been friends since kindergarten, but there’s little information or references to their relationship prior to senior year. I was still invested in their conflicts, but elaborating on their history would’ve added more weight to the story.

While I find Logan and Quinn interesting, their characters aren’t fully rendered. Quinn says she has struggles but they aren’t explored

Additionally, there’s too many flat characters, such as Kat’s and James’s other friends, who don’t have any characterization to distinguish them from each other. You could remove several characters and not change the story.
We Used To Be Friends is an enjoyable read, but the emotional weight of the story is shallow.

Normally I don’t love YA contemporary, not because there is anything wrong with it, but because I’m not a young adult. I am an old adult, and so some of these books seem a little on the immature side for me. And while this one had its immature parts, I think the overall story of this book is good for people of any age.

This book is essentially about how friendships change. This has happened to me a couple of times where I just didn’t feel connected to friends anymore, so I relate well to what was going on between James and Kat. The book is told in two timelines, James’s point of view starts out after senior year and Kat’s starts at the beginning. I think this is an interesting way to tell this story, because for some reason it made me see that both girls were the issue.

I definitely identified more with James of the two, but I could see myself in Kat a little as well. As I mentioned there really was no bad guy in this story, and I liked that, because that is how life works. Usually no one does something horrible, rather people find that they don’t have as much in common with the person as they did years ago.

This book was great and I would recommend it especially to teenage girls. I also loved that it showed the importance of friendship and how losing a best friend can be the biggest heartbreak of all.

James and Kat have been best friends forever. They know everything about each other. They do everything together. Or, at least they used to. Senior year is a hard time for anyone. But with Kat making new friends, James taking up new hobbies, them both stressing about college, and having different family issues to deal with, their texts to each other become shorter, their hang outs feel more like chores, and they don't know anything about each other any more. But how do two best friends get to be almost strangers?

The first striking bit of We Used To Be Friends is the timelines. In the first chapter, we meet James at the end of the senior year. In chapter two, me are introduced to Kat at the beginning of senior year. From there, we alternate between the two, and Kat moves forward and James moves back in time to give us both sides of their story. I want to credit Amy with a massive amount of respect for pulling this off! Playing with timelines is something I like to do in my own writing, but to do it this way feels daunting to me. Amy managed to run each timeline smoothly next to the other, in  a way where each flowed and wasn't overly confusing (it was a little bit, and took a little bit of getting used to, but I think this is the case for all non-linear timelines), picking pivotal moments that connected one to the other, but not repeating bits so you felt you were rereading the same bits over and again.

Amy also has a wonderful way with characters, friendships, and writing f/f relationships. I have to admit, I've only read The Summer of Jordi Perez by her, and need to dip my toes in her other books, but I don't need to read more to know how talented at this she is. James and Kat were both two very different, fully fleshed out characters, but as the main characters you'd expect that. I didn't expect her to go so hard with Quinn, Kat's new girlfriend, or Matt, Diane, or any of the outside characters. I want to read more and more about Kat and Quinn's relationship, because Amy really nailed that 'woah, I like girls???' moment, and I love how she didn't make them perfect. She made them real, with flaws and fights and misunderstandings. 

I cannot tell you how much I needed this book. Or rather, how much I needed a book about a friend break up, how much I needed it to be recognised as a heartbreaking time of your life, and how glad I am that this book filled that void. Friends are there forever, or at least they're meant to be. And they're most often there for much longer than any romantic relationship. And it's only right that we acknowledge the sadness we're left with after a fight. 

The friend break up in this book isn't an all out argument. It's not explosive. It's slow, it's progressive, little bits of the friendship gradually being chipped away and falling apart day by day. It was natural, how commonly you just... grow apart from someone. Teamed with the stress of college applications, and similar yet completely different family issues, it was no surprise these two girls lost their way with each other a bit. Amy wrote a very heartfelt but realistic novel, and I absolutely adored it. 4.5 stars out of 5 (only docked a little bit because the timeline stuff was a little bit confusing at the start).

(Will post to social media closer to release date)

If you've ever had a friend breakup, as so many of us had, you'll probably cry at this book. That's not a bad thing or a warning to stay away, it's actually a compliment because authentically portraying teenage female friendship is so hard to come by.

Thank you @netgalley for the review copy of this book. All opinions are my own. We Used To Be Friends comes out 1.7.20!

I LOVED another YA book by Spalding called The Summer of Jordi Perez, so I jumped are the chance to read her latest novel. The title sums up the premise of this story perfectly. It’s about two girls, Kat and James, who have been best friends since Kindergarten. Their senior year in high school changes everything. Both are making college decisions, both have broken up with recent boyfriends and both are dealing with some heavy, family drama. Kat’s mom passed away and she’s missing her more especially as her dad starts to date again. James is shocked when her parents announce they are divorcing. It definitely effects her outlook on life. These changes slowly cause a rift between the two friends that intensifies as the story unfolds.

This is such a relatable and real book. Friendship breakups are rough, but we’ve all been through them at some point in our life, especially as young adults. At that age, you are going through so many personal changes as you find yourself that it’s normal to discover new relationships along the way. At the time though, it’s frustrating and confusing as your sort through those feelings. Add in new romantic relationships and that always puts a strain on long friendships, especially when you normally spend every waking minute together. There was definitely a lot of depth to these characters and at times it was heartbreaking to watch because you knew what the ultimate outcome was going to be. I loved that it included a LGBT couple and really agreed with the topic brought up about how kids are so excited to become seniors, yet once they get there, the entire year is focused on what they can do to boost their college applications.

Pay attention to the date at the beginning of each chapter! The story switches perspectives and many times is not told in chronological order so the reader can get a tad confused for a moment if you skip that small tidbit.

I am having a hard time being objective reviewing this book just because of how personal and triggering this story was for me. In the past I have had issues with friends in similar ways that both Kat and James experienced and every time I read this book I left it feeling angry and sad.

I was excited to read this book because I thought it would be relatable, and I appreciate that Spalding took on this subject matter. I feel like best friends growing apart is something that happens often in real life, but it isn't often discussed in young adult literature. For that, I appreciate what this book is trying to do, and some girls might be able to get something from this book because of that.

However, my one star review has more basis than simply how it made me feel. Here's a few technical reasons why this book did not live up to my expectations:
- Slow pace: Nothing really happened throughout the course of this book except for high school drama and what I think was supposed to be character development
- The ending: Without spoiling the book, I was extremely dissatisfied by this book
- The perspectives: This book is told in two perspectives, one that is going forward in time and one that is going backwards. While this concept sounds pretty cool, it made the narrative confusing at times, and I think it is in part to blame for the slow pace, since you knew what was going to happen. On top of that, I am personally I am not a fan of the whole "you know what's going to happen at the end" thing anyway, so that probably didn't help things.

I can't say I'm glad I read this. But I do appreciate that Netgalley provided me a copy and I encourage you to pick this up if only to come up with an opinion for yourselves.

A true YA novel. James and Kat have been best friends since kindergarten. We are taken through their senior year of high school through two timelines. Both are struggling to discover who they really are. The ups and downs and stresses of their daily lives-biologically, social and psychologically. The struggle for identity is hard. Even the best of friends are going to have fights, but not every argument means the end of a friendship. All relationships take work but is everyone willing to do the work?

There are so few books that focus on friend breakups it should be a crime. They are one of the most terrible and painful events of life, and everyone has gone through at least one. Sometimes they’re not dramatic, sometimes it’s just reaching out less and less until you barely talk at all. Spalding has created a breakup that has dramatic moments, but is largely a story about two friends growing apart.

We get two separate POVs in this book, James who starts at the end of the year and works her way back, and Kat starts at the beginning of the year and moves forward. Both the girls clearly have their own voice, something that’s tricky with multiple POVs. I was initially really excited to have the story told backwards and forwards…but in practice it was confusing. I was never sure what events had happened in which timeline and where I was. It was hard to feel the loss of the friendship when it was strong in one timeline.

I think it was a unique thing to try, but the execution could have been a little better…although I’m not certain how I would have fixed it. In the end it just made the story harder to read. I would have preferred each girl alternating months going forward.

There are a lot of other great things going on in this book though! There are parents who are complex and dealing with their own life issues. They feel like real people, and the familial love is there. Young adult fiction so rarely showcases real feeling parents so I treasured that aspect of this book, especially when they’re dealing with things like divorce and death of a spouse etc. etc.

The romance was also not overbearing and extremely well written. There was an LGBT+ couple as well. The couples felt complex, they loved fiercely but still had a lot of issues that many younger couples face. Not everything was perfect and wonderful. They struggle with how to fit romance into their lives and with other issues that affect it – and that’s okay! They can still love each other!

The ending was sort of open, which I appreciated and didn’t. Sometimes I want to be sad for the sake of being sad. Still, it’s worth noting that sometimes friendships don’t crash entirely they just…turn into something different. Maybe you won’t always be as close as you are now but you don’t have to leave each other’s lives entirely.

I think We Used to Be Friends is a fantastic contemporary that focuses on female friendship more than romance, making it a rarity. It’s definitely worth a look if you want something fresh and fun, even if it’s a bit of a mess timeline wise.

It's been a few hours since I've finished this book and I really can't find strong feelings for it one way or another. I really love the premise of the story, the queer representation, the characters, the relationships, and the realistic feels of everything. Despite all of this I just wasn't really able to get into the book. I found myself accidentally skimming parts of it, the timeline was pretty confusing because I kept forgetting what month it was, and parts of the book just felt so drawn out with too little happening.

I wanted to love this book but I just don't. I would definitely recommend it for the positives I mentioned above, but I think my high expectations ended up making this book a bit of a letdown for me.

I just didn't like the narrative approach taken here. While I think writing one character from the end, and the other from the beginning, was a novel concept, I also felt it was unnecessary. I will say that I enjoyed the resolution of the novel, and what it leaves the reader to fill in on her own.

Thank you to NetGalley and Amulet Books (an imprint of ABRAMS) for providing me with an e-ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. These opinions are exclusively my own.

Romantic heartbreaks hurt… a lot.

Friendship heartbreaks? Now that’s true pain.

I really feel like we need more books about friendship heartbreak. About friendship in general. Yes, this had some romance in it, but it was not the driving force of the story and I really really liked that.

The story is about two former best friends, Kat and James. We follow their respective sides during their senior year to try and discover what exactly went wrong in this friendship. The story is told through alternating points of view. Kat starts at the beginning of senior year, and moves forward, while James starts at the end of senior year and moves backward.

I will admit it was hard at times to keep track of where we were in relation to the other person, but that was mostly my fault. My brain struggles a lot lol.

I so desperately wanted to find the *one* thing that broke this friendship, but it wasn’t like that. Rather, it was a series of events that ultimately broke the camel's back.

Although the ending was left kind of vague, it still left a lasting hurt in my chest. In my opinion, it was a great move to have James’ POV moving backward because I think it made a much stronger impression at the end than if we had ended with Kat’s POV of the beginning of senior year.

Sure Kat’s friendship was falling apart, but she still got to have some joy during her senior year. She found a person who she really clicks with and loves, got to go to parties and be popular, and be prom royalty!

While James was excited about senior year at the beginning. She was so hopeful, and very much looking forward to the last year of highschool with her best friend. It touched me more because I know how everything falls apart for her.

If you are looking for fast paced adventure, this is not the book for you. This is a book about a friendship that was supposed to last a lifetime. This is a book that tries to tell you that as much as we want life to stay just the way it is in this exact moment, it’s just not possible. Change is inevitable, and it sucks, it hurts, it hurts a lot… and that’s okay.

You can find this book on shelves January 7, 2020.

Oh, my heart. This book traces the slow dissolution of a friendship over a year, with dual narratives from each girl's perspective. Taking place throughout their senior year of high school, Kat's half moves forward in time while James's half moves backward (it took me some time to get used to this, but it worked beautifully). As the reader, you see the small cracks in the foundation as they lead to the end. It is painful and, as a warning, you will likely cry! Be ready!

Kat and James are complicated, compelling characters who, like all teenage girls, are trying to find their place in the world. And it's difficult (for them, and for all of us) to come to the realization that sometimes friendships take real work, and sometimes love isn't enough. This book felt excruciatingly real, and it validates the sadness and grief that comes with a changed friendship. I'm so glad it exists.

This book broke me, in kind of a good way. Having had many painful friend-breakups over the years, the story felt so raw, and so real.. I loved the way it was told in alternating perspectives, with one character telling the story "backwards" and the other telling it forwards -- it lent a sort of topsy-turvy-ness to the story that underscored just how disorienting and illogical growing apart from a best friend can feel.

3.5 stars. didn't hate, didn't love. I think people closer to the age group could feel more connected to the story!
Likes:
- this is YA that truly feels like YA.
- female/female relationship & bisexual rep
- the story is important to this age group - losing friends can feel like an intense break up and isn't something that is really talked about.
- all the characters felt very realistic to me!

In the middle?:
- both James and Kat were super frustrating to me - they both played a part in their friendship kind of falling apart but neither really wanted to own up to it. all of their issues could have been solved if they just communicated better BUT isn't that just a part of being young, a little selfish, and not having relationships completely figured out yet? I think this was a pretty good representation of friendships and how they can fall apart when you're young & dumb.

Dislikes:
- the non-linear narrative (James' chapters are told from end > beginning while Kat's are from beginning to end). it pretty confusing at first and to me, didn't add anything to the story.
- this felt a little too long for what it was.
- the ending was way too ambiguous for my liking.

Kat and James had been best friends since they were serendipitously paired together in Kindergarten. Both were looking forward to senior year for different reasons. Kat just wanted to get though this last year, and was anticipating all the new experiences waiting for her in college, while James was eager to be a senior and to enjoy her final year of high school with her best friend at her side. However, neither expected it to be the end of a decade long friendship.

I am telling you, right now, I had a headache, when I finished this book, due to all the crying I did. Romantic breakups are painful, but we rarely acknowledge how traumatic a friend breakup can be. My tears are evidence, that Spalding did a fantastic job depicting the collapse of a storied friendship.

Spalding told this story from both Kat and James' point of view, but she did so, from opposite sides of the timeline. James' story begins at the end, with her leaving town for college, and Kat's starts from the beginning of the school year. I found the dual timeline to be quite successful and meaningful for me. James' narrative had more insight, since she could reflect on the past, while Kat's had more unknown's. Since there was overlap, I also experiences many things in multiple ways, and we all know, perspective is everything. It was interesting the way their life situations were flipped, too. Kat's year started with heartbreak, and ended with everything coming up roses, while it was the opposite for James.

James' point of the view definitely elicited more tears from me. Her life sort of imploded, and everything she believed in seemed like a lie. There were some positive things that came out of what happened, and Spalding left me hopeful for other things, but James lost a lot, and it broke my heart watching her slow retreat and self-imposed isolation.

Kat's side of the story made me smile a whole lot. Her family was still in the process of healing following her mother's death, and they were slowly regrouping. Not only was Kat's home life improving, but she fell in love and discovered a lot about herself, included that she was bisexual. The friend breakup seemed to leave more of a mark on Kat, as well, and she tried to make some changes in order to be a better person.

This was a story that resonated with me, because I have experienced those painful friend breakups, and I believe many others will be able to relate to Kat and James' story as well.

Overall: A sensitive and emotional tale of loss, love, healing, and self discovery.

This book has an interesting form, in that it is told through dual perspectives - one moving forward chronologically from the start of senior year, and the other moving backwards from the end. I have to be honest, while I admire the attempt to do something tricky, it didn't really work for me. I just found it confusing, and was often sitting there thinking "wait, has this thing happened yet in this timeline, or not?"

I think telling the story of a friend "breakup" as it were, is really important - it's a real thing that happens all the time but you don't see too many stories about it. It's pretty normal for people to grow apart, especially when they've known each other for such a long time. However, I think for me it would have made slightly more sense as a college/university-age story, as in my experience that's when values and experiences can start to diverge more and cause rifts in relationships because you're not necessarily sharing the same day-to-day.

This certainly wasn't a terrible book by any standards, but it didn't really do a whole lot for me unfortunately. I found the characters overall to be pretty unlikeable, and some of the more action-based parts to be sort of rushed and ill-explained.

**Thank you to ABRAMS Kids (Amulet Books), Netgalley, and Amy Spalding for a copy of this ebook in exchange for an honest review**

We Used To Be Friends follows BFF's Kat and James through their senior year of high school, right up to when they leave for college. The twist is that Kat's version is told from beginning to end, and James' version is from end to beginning - and it's the story of a best friend break-up. Kat and James slowly grew apart over time during their senior year as they got ready to embark on new adventures. Both had a lot of big, personal events happen this year and it was just too hard to stay close.

Honestly, this book hit me in my feelings. I needed to take a day to gather my thoughts before writing this review. It was really good, don't get me wrong, but brought up some past issues within my own life that I wasn't necessarily expecting. But, I actually love when books seem real enough to affect you - whether positive or negative - which I think is a huge pro to WUTBF. While there was boy/girlfriend drama within the book, it was really focused on the friend relationship between Kat and James, which is rarely the main focus of a YA book, no matter the genre. I appreciated the author's ability to keep romantic relationships out of the forefront.

The reverse timelines was confusing as times. I started off strong with being able to keep it straight, but then got confused in the middle. By the end I was back on track, but I felt like I needed to write stuff down to keep dates in order. This may be due to reading it ebook style, I'm not sure how the print book will look. I do think the reverse timelines helped tell the story because you could see how events overlapped and were perceived differently between two drastically different viewpoints.

There was no happy ending. I think this was what killed me the most. I wanted a happy ending, some epilogue to remind me that these breakups can be a happy ending. I didn't get that, but it almost made the read more poignant because it's REAL. Not everything has a happy ending and that is okay. Sometimes relationships just fail over time and are replaced by others. It doesn't take away from the importance of the relationship.

Well done, Amy Spalding. Thank you for telling a story that will evoke powerful emotions in anyone who grew apart from a close friend during this time of life - when people grow up, change, and move away.

Friendships are massively important, in many ways even more so than family or relationships with significant others. Your childhood friends are the family you choose, and are usually around for a lot longer than any partners, but sometimes these key relationships can go sour too, Which is why I think it's great that Spalding has chosen to explore this in this book. As someone who's lost friends along the way (some fairly recently), I know that it can be very painful when someone you shared everything with and have a shared history with is lost from your life, whether through a big argument or just through the natural progression of time. So I really engaged with the subject matter of this book, and I think Kat and James are very well drawn and allow you to engage with the characters well.

The style of the book is reminiscent of films and plays like Blue Valentine and Merrily We Roll Along (which is also about the breakup of friendship). By having two timelines, one backwards and one forwards, Spalding allowed the story to play out from two different angles. However, this did sometimes make it difficult to remember what had happened already for one of the characters and what hadn't, which perhaps diminished the emotional intensity somewhat. All in all, though, I think this book is great.