Thanks to the publisher for an ecopy of Until I Find You by Rea Frey in exchange for an honest review.

I always feel the need to justify my star rating if it is below 4 stars, but I feel reviews are very personal but even middling reviews are helpful. In the case of Until I Find You, I am just not sure that any long-time mystery and thriller lover would be able to look past the obvious holes in the plot of the book. However, when I made efforts to do so, I did find myself highly entertained by this fast-paced novel.

Bec's husband died while she was pregnant with their first baby. She suffers from a degenerative eye problem that has caused her to become almost fully blind over time. When the book starts, her baby is three months old and she is desperately trying to prove she is capable to raising Jackson without help. Doing so has left her sleep deprived, and combined with her near blindness, she has even become paranoid that someone is following her or has been in her house.

Bec has a small group of Mom's she meets at the local park, but has really only become fairly close with a couple of them. One day, for some unexplained reason Bec stands up and passes out and hits her head hard enough to bleed while with the mom group at the park. They bustle her to the nearby home of one of her friends she is closest to, Crystal. Then another close friend, Jess, gives Bec some sleeping pills and practically forces her to bed so she can get some rest they all think she sorely needs.

When Bec wakes up, she goes to check on Jackson and through all her heightened senses of hearing and touching, as well as just plain old mother's intuition, she believes the baby in Jackson's crib is not her baby...she believes he has been switched. No one believes her, but an ex-boyfriend who is a cop agrees to help her. Through the process of looking for answers, Bec is also having to avoid being taken for a psych evaluation as people think she is either lying or crazy.

The ending is satisfactory and I appreciated that. Again, not sure how believable it was, but it was satisfactory. So I enjoyed the book like I would a good Lifetime movie. I would recommend it to anyone not as prone to eye-rolling at bizarrely questionable decisions and situations as I am. Too much eyerolling can cause headaches.

Wow! How have I not heard of Rea Frey’s books before? This was captivating, suspenseful, and emotional. All of the things I look for in my thrillers.

Thank you to the Publisher and Netgalley for the advanced e-reader copy. All opinions expressed are my own.

This book was an emotional roller coaster for me, but a very satisfying read. You won't be able to put it down! It was my first time reading Rea Frey's work and I look forward to her future releases.

I am sorry for not reviewing fully but I don’t have the time to read this at the moment. I believe that it wouldn't benefit you as a publisher or your book if I only skimmed it and wrote a rushed review. Again, I am sorry for not fully reviewing!

This took me forever to read and it never grabbed me. I don’t know why. It was just ok. I’ve seen a lot of great reviews for this one so don’t mind me.

I found this book to be ok considering Read Frey's other books I found this one average. I found the book confusing at times but I quickly caught up. It just wasn't what I expected it to be.

This author is new to me, but I can't wait to read more! Loved it from the start that I could not put it down, and finished it in one sitting! You will be glued to your seat! What a great read!

Author Rea Frey says her "passion in life is telling stories, connecting with readers, and helping other aspiring authors tell their stories too." Crafting Until I Find You, her fourth novel, required courage. Frey describes it as "one of the most humbling -- and terrifying -- experiences of" her life. The challenge of creating Rebecca's world in which she is "stripped of sight" not only made her "stretch, grow, and think about creating a story in a different way." It also caused Frey to confront her own fear of going blind due to "astigmatisms, vitreous detachments, floaters, nearsightedness, and farsightedness, . . ." In the process, she says she found it "empowering to realize you can still have a full, beautiful life without vision." That aspect of her lead character's life might have proven sufficiently difficult for another author. But Frey upped the ante, making Rebecca a woman without a husband, parent, or support system. "I wanted to put an extraordinary woman in the toughest circumstances imaginable and see if she could endure."

Rebecca suffers from Stargardt disease which is causing her to gradually lose her central field of vision. With her remaining sight, she sees shapes shifting in the dark to often confusing and terrifying effect. She places bells on Jackson's ankle and uses the sound to locate his precise location. Rebecca was a professional cellist, traveling the world to play with celebrated symphony orchestras. Now she gives cello lessons in her home as she adjusts to all of the recent changes in her life: blindness, widowhood, and the loss of her mother just two months ago. Rebecca's other senses have become heightened and when she holds Jackson, she is familiar with the shape of his face, the way he smells, the small patch of eczema behind his ear, and his unique cry.

Rebecca is undeniably exhausted so when she has the sense that someone is watching and following her, accidentally leaves her door unlocked, and discovers Jackson's playpen not where she left it, she questions herself. That changes, however, after she faints in the park one day. The neighborhood mothers who have become her friends insist that she go home with Crystal, an interior decorator who was also recently widowed. They met in a support group, and Crystal's daughter, Savi, is a talented budding musician and one of Rebecca's students. Jess, whose infant son, Baxter, is close to Jackson's age, convinces Rebecca to take sleeping pills and finally get some rest. Rebecca sees the day's events as a "wake-up call. How can I be expected to take care of an infant if I can't even take care of myself." She resolves to concentrate on her own well-being by getting more sleep, eating healthy food, and hiring a nanny. And definitely not think about her ex-boyfriend, Jake, the homicide detective with whom she has just reconnected after being apart for years. When their careers did not mesh, they broke up. But Rebecca never forgot Jake . . . and he never married.

When Rebecca wakes up several hours later, her world spins off its axis. She picks Jackson up from his crib when he cries. But as she runs her hands over his face and body, takes in his scent, and listens to his cries, she knows. "There's a baby in this room: a baby who feels like Jackson, who looks like Jackson, who could probably pass for Jackson if someone wasn't paying close enough attention." A mother, however, sighted or not, "knows her child. A mother always knows." And Rebecca is absolutely sure that she is holding a child who is not her son. But who is he? How did he end up in Jackson's crib while she slept?

And where is Jackson?

Frey has risen to the challenge she established for herself, deftly constructing Rebecca's world and populating it with a cast of supporting characters, including Jake, Jess, Crystal, and little Savi, who are empathetic and believable. Rebecca relates her experiences in a first-person narrative while Crystal's story unfolds in alternating third-person chapters. Frey quickly establishes Crystal as a complicated woman harboring secrets, injecting hints about her past at expertly-timed junctions, including her relationship with her late husband, Paul. Savi is acting out in the wake of her father's untimely and tragic death, and Crystal is not sure whether to believe Savi or her nanny, Pam, when unsettling events take place.

But the story is focused squarely on Rebecca and her unshakable belief that the baby she now finds herself caring for -- even nursing at one point -- is not the little boy she gave birth to. Frey traces Rebecca's encounters with the local police, who dismiss her contentions, and Rebecca's growing fear that she could ultimately lose custody of her child, judged unable to care for him. Everyone in Rebecca's life questions her insistence that Jackson is missing and a search for him must be initiated without further delay. She knows the odds that Jackson will be found safe and unharmed diminish with each passing hour.

Frey depicts Rebecca's heartbreak, isolation, and anguish with compassion, credibly showing that she cannot just simply wait for the police to assist her. Instead, Rebecca takes chances that could be deemed foolish through which Frey invites readers to ponder what they would do in similar circumstances. All of Frey's key characters are flawed, but empathetic as they navigate stressors in the only ways they know how.

Frey keeps the story forging ahead at a steady, unrelenting pace that accelerates as Rebecca gradually inches closer to the truth. With readers fully invested in the outcome of Rebecca's search for her child, Frey's plot is revealed as clever, tautly constructed, and emotionally resonant. Rebecca's complicated feelings are raw, heartbreaking, and relatable, and she proves herself to be resilient, stronger than she ever knew she could be, and absolutely, unshakably committed to her child.

Until I Find You is a captivating mystery replete with fascinating characters, surprising plot twists, and emotional gut-punches that will keep readers reading past their bedtimes in a quest to learn whether Jackson is still alive . . . and if he will be reunited with the mother who will not stop looking for him until she finds him.

Domestic suspense is hot because it’s so delicious to read and Rea Frey’s latest novel does not disappoint.

Until I Find You is filled with tension, follows an engaging and empathetic protagonist, and keeps readers just enough off kilter to wonder . . . is this a reliable narrator?

The story starts out with recent widow and mother of a three-month-old son, the aptly named Rebecca Gray, slowly going blind. Understandably stressed, and trying to navigate a world that’s growing darker by the day, she’s doing the best she can.

Unfortunately, it’s not good enough. Putting all her energy into caring for her infant son, she forgets to care for herself. Her body finally rebels, and she faints at a nearby park.

After regaining consciousness, she does what any loving mother would do, she reaches for her son. But well-meaning friends circle around, help her home, get her to bed. She allows them to see to her son, until she rests, recovers, and they leave her alone.

She goes to her son’s crib, and finds a changeling instead.

“There’s a baby in this room: a baby who feels like Jackson, who looks like Jackson, who could probably pass for Jackson if someone wasn’t paying close enough attention. But I am.”

The realization throws Rebecca into a nightmare. She’s as sure as a sighted person this child is not her son, but no one believes her. How can she convince the police, or even her closest friends, that seeing isn’t the only way to believe? The smell, the sound, the touch of this baby is different.

Now she just has to prove it.

Readers are taken on a thrill ride to a surprising conclusion as they discover all the obstacles Frey throws in Rebecca’s path.

We feel for this woman for her impending total blindness, her widow status, and her impossible situation. And her undeterred pursuit of her child won’t let us put the book down until we reach the final page.

Mixed with the hint of a possible romance and the trials faced by anyone dealing with a handicap in today’s culture, Frey’s storytelling will keep readers on the edge of their seats, while also playing the heartstrings.

Rea Frey’s third novel guarantees her place in today’s domestic suspense genre as a writer who’s here to stay.

Rebecca (Bec) is a blind, widow and mother who is trying to raise her son on her own, without help from anyone. When strange things happen to cause her paranoia , like she thinks she’s being followed, strange sounds in her house, items moved from where she left them - she starts to panic. Then after one incident she has the feeling that the baby she went home with is not her son Jackson, but another child completely. Who can she trust to help her find her child? Who will believe her crazy story?

Personally, I did not like Bec as a character. I thought she wallowed in her own pity party, always being whiney and difficult. That coupled with her blatant refusal of help annoyed me. However, I did feel for her as she searched for her son while still caring for the “imposter”.

Thank you NetGalley, Rea Frey and St. Martin’s Griffin for this edition and hearing my honest review. Looking forward to reading more with you
#partner

Until I Find You was one of those tense reads that kept me turning the pages as fast as I could. The premise of this book is unique as it features Bec who is now considered to be legally blind. She has had a difficult life with both her husband and then mother recently dying so she is on her own raising her baby boy. I cannot speak on the portrayal of what it is like to lose your sight or to be blind but I felt like this author really handled it well. She voiced the struggles and fears that Bec faced with raising a young child on her own and not being able to see. The book felt almost claustrophobic at times especially as the author takes the reader through some of Bec's own experiences with not being able to see. The idea of not knowing who is behind you, how far you have until you reach something like stairs....it's all a bit terrifying to think about which really added to the suspense that was present throughout this book. It was sad to see how Bec was treated because of her inability to see by others who had their vision. I felt like it was a realistic portrayal though because often people with disabilities are listened to less than someone without disabilities. It made me mad for her though because her friends really weren't there for her like they should have been. This book was a true page turner and literally had me on the edge of my seat at times. I NEEDED to know how everything was going to end and if Bec was going to find her baby. I finished this book reading fast and furiously between pitches at my son's baseball game. Completely worth it!

Overall, I'm excited to have found this author and am looking forward to reading more by her in the future. This book really made me think about my own vision and what it would be like to slowly lose that vision. I also connected with it strongly as there is such a focus on motherhood and being the best mother possible despite the circumstances. Bec had her doubts and insecurities but that's what it is like being a mother. I don't think that there is a mother out there that doesn't experience their own insecurities and doubts relating to being a mother and how well they are doing. I think that readers who enjoy a suspenseful read, those who enjoy page turning books that keep them hooked until the very end, and those readers who want a mystery featuring a main character with a disability should definitely pick this book up. Highly recommended!

Bottom Line: A suspenseful read that has moved this author on to my must read list!

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book thanks to the publisher as part of a PICT book tour. Honest thoughts are my own.

CW: Kidnapping, death, grief, blindness, mental illness

In Until I Find You, author Rea Frey weaves a riveting psychological thriller that easily draws the reader in with its suspenseful storyline set in the Chicago suburb of Elmhurst, that follows Rebecca Gray as she has to deal with a mother's worst fear: her three month old son Jackson has been switched with another baby, and using her motherly instinct to compensate for her failing eyesight, she is determined to find her son and bring him home.

This captivating tale is rich in detail and vivid descriptions, and has intriguing and suspenseful twists and turns that leaves the reader with no other option than to keep turning the pages to find out what happens next. As a diehard fan of psychological thrillers, I must admit that this story exceeded my expectations. The intensity of the storyline and the complexity of Rebecca's blindness and recent widowhood is heartwrenching, but her strong determination and motherly instinct to find her son kept me thoroughly riveted and so engrossed, that I literally couldn't wait to see how the story ends.

With a complex and realistic cast of characters, the author does a phenomenal job of delving into the slow-building and tension filled storyline interwoven with a tangled web of secrets, lies, and betrayals; and Rebecca's strong motherly quest for the truth about what happened to her son, especially when everyone doubted her due to her disability. This heartwrenching mother's story will take the reader on a roller coaster ride leaving them feeling the gamut of emotions until the surprise ending. It just doesn't get any better than this!

Until I Find You is an intense and emotional psychological thriller that is a must read!

Disclaimer: I received a copy of the book from the author / publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review and participation in a virtual book tour event hosted by Partners In Crime Virtual Book Tours.

https://jerseygirlbookreviews.blogspot.com/2021/05/until-i-find-you-by-rea-frey-vbt-book.html

This was great, I found myself wanting to help the mother alllll throughout the book though. To have your vision slowly fading with each passing day and knowing IN YOUR GUT (mother's intuition) that the baby you're holding is not your baby??!! Baby imposters, y'all... Ishh is crazy 😦

Thanks netgalley for giving me the pdf so that I can share my thoughts and opinions with y'all 🧡

This novel got off to a slow start for me. There is some psychological suspense early on but nothing actually happens until nearly a third of the way into the book. I have to admit I started skimming about a quarter of the way in. The psychological suspense is built on Bec being blind. There is no other suspense as her life is never in danger.

I did not feel empathy for Bec because she was such a stubborn and prideful woman most of the time. But at one point, when Jake was leaving for a police assignment, she says she can't do this without him. I felt there was some inconsistency in the characterization of Bec. She is portrayed as always refusing help before and after that one scene.

The plot was certainly complex. Just before the denouement, as facts become clear, Bec says, “That doesn't make sense.” (3885/4309) I kind of felt the same way. I had to suspend some belief to think that the events could have worked out as described.

The best part of this novel is Frey's writing style. It is actually captivating. Once I got about half way through the book, I didn't want to put it down, even with the complex plot and the character inconsistencies.

I received a complimentary egalley of this book through Partners in Crime Virtual Book Tours. My comments are an independent and honest review.

This book had so many things that I found interesting...switched babies, a single mother with very little vision, and several mysteries along the way. 

I really found Bec's life interesting, walking in the shoes of a single mother who is blind really made me think. Darkness has always been a little scary for me, even as an adult. Living in constant darkness and caring for an infant must add a whole new layer of fear. The author did an excellent job at portraying the fears and anxieties that Bec experienced. I also appreciated learning the different things that Bec used to adapt to this world (talking alarm clocks, Siri, and bells on her son's ankles so that she would always know where he was). 

It was sad to see the reaction that Bec received after realizing that the child in her son's room was not her son. I can't imagine the frustration that she experienced...blind or not, a mother knows their children!

The mystery was very well thought out and kept me guessing. A few red herrings along the way made it a lot of fun and I loved how everything wrapped up in the end. I highly recommend this mystery story. It reminded me a little bit of Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty (one of my favorite books) with the mystery aspect and the mom groups. 

I received a copy of this book from the author/publisher to read and review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

What would happen if a mother reached down into her three-month-old son's crib and discovered that the baby lying there was not her own? What if none of her friends noticed the subtle differences that made it so obvious to her? What if no one believed the blind widow at all? I absolutely loved this domestic thriller. Rebecca is such a likeable character and the author did such a great job of pulling me into her world. The ending fell a bit flat, but the journey to get there had me holding my breath the whole time.

A fantastic thriller! What a refreshing change from the thriller fictions i’ve read lately! Rea Frey’s main protagonist has a disability- she’s almost totally blind. But does she let that slow her down? Oh wow, no! Great storyline! Great characters! I loved it!

Captivating, suspenseful, and emotional this story about the amazing bond between mother and son will pull you in immediately. with a degenerative eye disease, Rebecca's life goes dark, and things get dangerous. As a recent widow, with a new son, she needs her friends more than ever. Going instinct and conviction, can she bring her boy home? Fantastic.

A genuine five star thriller for me. I don't know how Rea Frey isn't one of the biggest names in thrillers and how I didn't hear more buzz, but I loved it!

A parent's worst nightmare is something happened to their child/children. Now imagine you are a single mother, you are blind, and your son is only three-months old. You have never visually seen your son. You only know information such as eye color and hair color because someone else has told you. However, using your other senses, you have "seen" your son. You know he has a patch of eczema behind one ear and a small notch in his collarbone, possibly imperceptible to the naked eye but not to your experienced fingers. You know his cries and his temperament. Now imagine you have had a day where you have experienced health issues. You go into your son's room in the evening to take care of him and you realize the boy in the crib is not your son. However, no one believes you. The boy looks like your son, Jackson. And you have been acting somewhat paranoid lately, thinking someone was following you at the park one day, coming home to find your front door open when you know you locked it, discovering your son's playpen has been moved, etc., but when the police have come to check out your house, nothing out of the ordinary has been found. Your friends think these oddities are just a symptom of sleep deprivation mixed with grief (as your husband and your mother have died within the past year). Plus, "baby swaps" just do not happen, especially not in peaceful Elmhurst, IL. That is the situation facing Rebecca (Bec) Gray in "Until I Find You."

The story details the events leading up to the baby swap, Bec's realization that Jackson is gone, and her efforts to find Jackson despite the doubts of her friends and the police. Her best friend Jess wants to believe her, but the idea of a baby swap seems too outlandish and the baby really does look like Jackson. Bec's ex-boyfriend and police officer, Jake, is back in Chicago, working homicide, and they re-connected just before the baby swap occurred. He wants to believe her and he does what he can to help, but he deals in facts and there are too many things that don't seem to add up. The only person who believes her, once she finds out, is a relatively new friend, single mother (10-year-old daughter) and widow, Crystal. Bec was a world-class celloist and has a photographic memory, so she has been giving lessons to Crystal's daughter, Savi, who is a cello prodigy. With the police not willing to help and her friends skeptical, Bec sets out to find her son on her own. She is eventually able to find some clues and with persistence and a little luck, as well as help from Jake, Jess, and others, she is able to prove that the boy she has been caring for, and with whom she has grown attached over the past few days, is not her son. The story behind the boy's identity and the who, how and why of the baby swap, as well as how Bec finally finds Jackson, is quite creative. The author does a wonderful job of portraying the lengths a parent will go to protect their child, the power of grief, and the added difficulties that a disability pose when trying to convince people (friends, the police) that something unimaginable has happened. The author has created a riveting, emotionally powerful, and rather unique thriller. "Until I Find You" is well worth reading.

I received a copy of the e-book via NetGalley in exchange for a review.