I always hear people say girls have daddy issues (blech). While I do in some ways, most of my issues have originated from crap Mother figures and this book was so great for this. I had an absent Mother from a toddler and an Abusive stepmother and I loved going through this book. I’m not finished with it, since I want to work through it but so far I highly recommend it!

I don't know a single female friend who doesn't have a complex relationship with their mother. It's part and parcel of womanhood, right? But complex doesn't always mean ugly or traumatic or damaging. And even it is was afterschool-special awful, we ultimately are responsible for our own mental health. That was my gut instinct, my soft position when I started reading "Discovering the Inner Mother" by Bethany Webster. But, as I continued thru the book, that position shifted - not a lot, but enough for me to recognize the parts of who I am today that came from my mother, from her past and from her pain.

"Our mothers form the very basis of who we become: our beliefs start out as her beliefs, our habit start out as their habits. Some of this is so unconscious and fundamental, it is barely perceptible."

The author packed a lot into the book, too much for most readers, I suspect. It is more an academic discourse than a mass market self-help - which is ok but somewhat limiting. But the concept of Mother Wound is fascinating and deep and, at times, relentlessly uncomfortable. At it's core, it's about loyalty and guilt, unclaimed expectations, competition and authenticity, and deeper still, the power of patriarchy to force women into roles they don't want or enjoy and in which they can rarely shine. Again, there's a lot.

To help move the concepts from theoretical to real, each chapter concludes with a few questions for reflection. These aren't simple book club questions, but require commitment and honesty that takes some practice, and can also dig up some pretty big emotions. Just a warning.

I admit, I was unable to read "Discovering the Inner Mother" consecutively. It took some time, some space and some fresh air. And I had a pretty great mother. I can imagine what a challenge it would be for someone with a truly difficult mother, a deep and festering Mother Wound. Still, working my way through the book and the process of pulling out my own Mother Wound, examining it and disinfecting it with sunshine and light was strangely liberating. I will definitely be returning to this book in the future.

Overall, I wish the author had provided the information in a more reader-friendly and less intimidating voice. It would have been more approachable, more manageable and more effective. And it would have been a better, more meaningful book. A lot of us could benefit from looking more closely and intentionally at the role our mothers play in who we are and how we fit into the world, but I wonder how many of us will be willing to endure a book as scholarly and intensely written as "Discovering the Inner Mother" .

This review is based on an advance copy read.