"How can you understand what love is supposed to be if Lolita is the greatest love story of our century? If that is your first romance?"

Recommended for fans of "My Dark Vanessa" by Kate Elizabeth Russell.

Several years ago, my 21 year old brother-in-law was convicted of third degree criminal sexual conduct for a sexual relationship he had with a 17 year old student while he worked at a high school in a non-academic role. Reading "Being Lolita" reminded me of the skeleton in our own family closet and the questions we never asked because of the answers we wouldn’t be able to unhear.

Unlike "Lolita" or "My Dark Vanessa" which are fiction, Being Lolita is a memoir. While we will never live inside Dolores Haze and understand what she felt when her stepfather abducted and raped her, Wood exposes her memories of being a pretty yet isolated seventeen year old groomed for a sexual relationship with her twenty-seven year old English teacher, who she refers to often as simply, “the teacher” to highlight the disparity in power.

Wood uses Nabokov’s "Lolita" as a framework for understanding what happened to her, but if you’re looking for a long, slow seduction with a gradual descent into depravity, this isn’t it. The majority of Wood’s memoir is about the abusive relationship between herself as a recently graduated young adult and her former teacher than the predation upon and sexual grooming of a teenager (although she was only eighteen years old at the time of their first sexual encounter).

Like "My Dark Vanessa," Wood explores the lingering effects of being “Lolita.” Personally, the parallels in thought and expression between young Alisson and Vanessa have made me a believer in the claim circulating that Russell based her fictitious novel on her own experiences.

Wood explains in detail the pain and trauma each sexual encounter wrought upon her body and spirit at the hands of a fully-grown man, holding your face to her assault and not allowing you to shy away. Why would we ever think a teenager can consent? Why is eighteen such a magical number? Wood raises these questions and forces you to endure the aftermath. Being Lolita is a thought-provoking work bravely shared with a harsh world.

"Yes, Lolita is beautiful. But yes, it’s also terrible. We can hold both in our hands."

I featured this book in a nonfiction roundup and will provide details directly to the publisher in the next round of this review process.

“When you call someone a “Lolita” you are calling her too sexy, too tender, dangerous. A sexually precocious young girl. In reality, a “Lolita” is a victim of a sexual predator.”⁣
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Being Lolita is a raw, powerful, and disturbing story about a high school student and her teacher who seduces her into becoming his Lolita. The manipulation and violence inflicted on this young girl, that is twisted in a way to make her believe that this is what love is, is beyond disturbing. ⁣
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Allison writes in this way that draws you in from the beginning, that you can’t get enough of her story. The entire time you want to scream, open your eyes! This isn’t okay! But a predators can make you prey for a reason. They know how to manipulate you and break you, to the point where you are so small, you think it’s normal, and it’s what you deserve; and I feel like this is how Mr. North made Allison feel. ⁣
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This story makes you stop and wonder how many people this happens to in the world, especially during a time where pedophilia is being brought up more and more. This isn’t okay. It needs to stop. ⁣
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Thank you @flatiron books for an ARC for my honest review. This book is available now. #bookstagram #books #beinglolita #savethechildren #stoppedophilia #memoir #netgalley #flatironbooks⁣
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Memoir of a woman's relationship with her high school teacher, beginning from when she was a teenage student in his class through her college years. Reading it, it is very clear that the teacher is predatory and narcissistic. I'm sure living it was much more confusing, with mixed messages and gaslighting constantly.

What is the most interesting is that she breaks away from her obsession with him as she grows up, and becomes a teacher herself, finally able to see, in hindsight, how destructive and cruel the teacher was. Mature and empathic writing.

This incredible memoir was very well written, but extremely hard to read due to the subject matter. The author speaks in detail about the "relationship" she had with her high school teacher. This was painful to read as I am sure it was painful to live. I read for joy and there is no joy to be found here at all.

I read this memoir in just two sittings. It's not a light, breezy read but it is unbelievably captivating and so SO worth it. This book details the haunting relationship and abuse between a high school teacher and one of his students. Alisson's vulnerability in sharing her story leads to an insightfully brave examination of the tremendous influence language can have on the psyche, and ultimately the power it holds. Her writing is beautiful, heart-wrenching, and deeply resonating. I admire Alisson for taking back the "Lolita" narrative and making it her own. This story deserves to be read.

"...the gaze and what it felt like in my own body to look at someone who looked back at me, to see and be seen. To be acknowledged and understood".

This memoir was raw, created emotional upheavals and took an intimate look at the predators around us. Wood shares her story openly about the relatable struggles of our teenage years, those predators who can take advantage of our vulnerability and how that can impact our lives as we enter adulthood.

I found that she did a fascinating comparison and provided deep insights to Lolita, all which has made me decide to read Lolita next.

For those who were intrigued by reading Dark Vanessa - continue your journey on learning the complexity of predators by picking up Being Lolita.

Thank you Netgalley and Alisson Wood for the gifted copy!

Happy release day to BEING LOLITA by Alisson Wood! 📚 This incredible memoir is brutal and stunning, heart-wrenching and compulsively readable. Wood recounts the relationship she had with a high school English teacher—a teacher who groomed her to believe that Nabokov's LOLITA was a beautiful romance, written just for them. Witnessing Wood's reflection on this time in her life, and seeing her harness language to reclaim her own story and identity, is incredibly powerful. I couldn't put this one down. 📚 Thanks to @netgalley for advanced copy. ❤️

Thank you to the author @alisson_wood for sending me a copy of your powerful book.

Being Lolita is Alisson Wood’s memoir about being seduced by her high school teacher. Mr. North gives Alisson a copy of Nabokov’s “Lolita” and it parallels much of what their relationship turns into. This memoir is about the journey of a vulnerable teenager, her recognition of the abuse that was occurring, and her growth to the strong and powerful woman she is today.

This is one you won’t want to put down — I finished it in less than a day. It completely captivated me from start to finish. Being Lolita was powerful, gripping, heart-wrenching, and beautifully written.
Alisson, thank you for sharing your story with us.

I finished Being Lolita quickly and it is one powerful read. I read it in two sittings. I had to remind myself that this was a memoir as Part one reads like fiction. Alisson Wood's journey throughout the book is insightful and fascinating. The feelings and emotions she must have gone through in her twenties must have felt like a scary roller coaster ride. This read was insightful and scary how quickly Alisson was seduced by her high school teacher. I highly recommend this fast memoir. It's an intense read but one that I'll be recommending.

The topic of this book is uncomfortable but Alisson Wood has a writer's touch in writing her memoir. Seduced by her high school teacher, Alisson explores her former relationship. Starting in high school and into her college years, the forbidden relationship with a power-dynamic and manipulation.

Wood is hope and honest, looking back with clear eyes and a clear heart. This is the kind of story that needs to be told instead of "Lolita". This is the truth of what happens.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this book.

"I wish I understood what I was giving up when I let him write our story."

Being Lolita, Alisson Wood's memoir of her teenage relationship with her high school English teacher, is anything but an easy read, but it's certainly worth the harrowing subject matter. Wood uses Vladimir Nabokov's iconic novel as a framework to explore, confess, unravel the story of what happened to her, just as her abuser used it as a framework and justification for their "love story" - and in so doing, she writes herself (and the original Lolita, Dolores Haze to give her her own name) back into the narrative. Wood's writing is as sharp, powerful, and clear as her ability to reflect on and share this part of her story; she likewise provides a thoughtful analysis of Nabokov's work and its place in our world. The result is an insightful, raw, deeply affecting exploration of the stories that are written about us, and the stories we write for ourselves.


Obviously, I would imagine, GIANT content warning for sexual abuse, as well as self-harm & suicidal thoughts. Also, for that matter, spoilers for Nabokov's Lolita.

So this was completely out of my comfort zone but once I read the blurb I was interested. It was an exploration of what it is to be a female, how females are portrayed and literature.

~This was the tale of how a girl became entangled in a toxic relationship. Seduced at school by the teacher, her whole identify and life becomes about him. How can she break free?

+ At first I was struck by the abrupt start and didn’t like it but as I read on it’s exactly what this book is about. Shocking us into seeing what is actually out there. It contains short chapters which made it easy to read, which seems odd to say since it has dark themes. I read it in two short sittings. I thoroughly enjoyed the Greek and Disney references. It has some beautiful description and the love of language and books shone through.

-I’m not used to this genre and at times I was missing the story like feel it it. There was a couple of times where things were touched upon and not fully explained which left me a bit lost.

This was a powerful read that is very prevalent with the me too movement. There is literal porn category about teachers and students which furthers the whole topic of the sexualisation of females and the romanticisation of it all.
I feel like the topics of gaslighting, emotional abuse and lack of real sex education need to be spoken about more!
All in all it has left me with lots to think about and isn’t that the main point ??

This book exposes the darkness of a world that too many woman must endure. A world that is unfortunately normalized when it really should be sought as the disgusting monster it really is. Hopefully some will read this and realize that this behavior is not normal and the woman/child is not to blame.

I finished reading this book and I had to wait a few days so I could process what I read. Being Lolita by Alisson Wood is a memoir and it was painful to read. Alisson was a lonely teenager in her senior year of high school. She had mental issues in previous years, she was suicidal, had cutting issues and most certainly had low self-esteem. She got to a point where she was feeling better about life and herself but She was still lonely. Enter the predator, Mr North. This "man" preyed on a young, emotionally unstable young lady. In her book, Alisson takes you thru the timeline of their "romance", while comparing it to Nabokov's Lolita. Mr. North compared her to Lolita and had her read the book. The authors way of writing about this painful subject was part inspiring and part horrifying. Alisson was expertly hunted by Mr. North, and though she says in her book that she had to tell him about her past, I still believe that he knew and used it to his advantage. I hate saying that I enjoyed this book because the subject matter is so hard to read, especially if you have been a victim of abuse, but I always enjoy an especially well written book! Thank you to Alisson Wood for sharing her story with us, I hope it was cathartic for you! ❤️
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Thank you to Netgalley, Flatiron Books and Alisson Wood for the eARC and hard copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are mine. ❤️

I received a digital ARC from Flatiron Books. Being Lolita is striking from the front cover with the red heart-shaped sunglasses on the stark white background. It is a novel I had to read slowly, taking breaks when it got too heavy. There were times where it just hurt too much to continue, but I had to finish it. Absolutely worth the read.

"I wonder about things like fate, how sometimes things are just chosen for you, how women are chosen to endure suffering." - Being Lolita.

REVIEW: Thank you to NetGalley, Flatiron Books, and Alisson Wood for providing me with an advanced reader's copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. "Being Lolita" is Alisson Wood's memoir about her dark, forbidden romance with her high school English teacher Mr. North. Mr. North provides her with a copy of Nabokov's book "Lolita" and it soon becomes the basis of what their relationship is built on. This continues from Alisson's high school years and into her college years as well. Soon the relationship becomes abusive and Alisson starts to examine if this is (or has ever been) true love and if she was even the one in control at all.

I absolutely loved this memoir and am giving it five stars. I appreciate that Alisson Wood told her story with such vulnerability and strength. I especially like how the story is told, we first read about what happened to Alisson in high school and how that relationship developed, then see how it started to unravel, but rather than ending there Alisson talks about her adult life now and even examines/ analyzes relevant parts of the Nabokov text. I really appreciated this section and felt that it gave me new insights and considerations to think about while reading "Lolita". I just read that novel last month, so it is fresh in my mind. Overall, at times this book was hard to read due to the content, but it is handled with care and I believe that this is a vital, powerful story to hear and share. I am looking forward to whatever Alisson Wood puts out next!

"Nothing I thought about what happened to me was true. Nothing about what happened to me, or about Lolita at all, was about love. Much less true love. I had known this, but reading it in my own handwriting on lined paper was painful in a new way. When I wrote those lines in my journal, I wasn't some powerful, sexy grown-up. I was a child being manipulated, being preyed upon." - Being Lolita

SYNOPSIS: “Have you ever read Lolita?” So begins seventeen-year-old Alisson’s metamorphosis from student to lover and then victim. A lonely and vulnerable high school senior, Alisson finds solace only in her writing—and in a young, charismatic English teacher, Mr. North.

Mr. North gives Alisson a copy of Lolita to read, telling her it is a beautiful story about love. The book soon becomes the backdrop to a connection that blooms from a simple crush into a forbidden romance. But as Mr. North’s hold on her tightens, Alisson is forced to evaluate how much of their narrative is actually a disturbing fiction.

In the wake of what becomes a deeply abusive relationship, Alisson is faced again and again with the story of her past, from rereading Lolita in college to working with teenage girls to becoming a professor of creative writing. It is only with that distance and perspective that she understands the ultimate power language has had on her—and how to harness that power to tell her own true story.

RELEASE DATE: August 4, 2020

Many thanks to Flatiron books for giving me this copy to read. First thought upon reading this was “this was like DARK VANESSA” I have been reading that book first because it was the library’s book of the month. In this book, we can also see the thoughts of the author and how her life is in comparison with Dolores a.k.a Lolita. I like how the author touches how sexist our society can be, patriarchy and how we have to change our last name just because of our marital status which is, I think, we, as women, can now choose to go against (Lucy Stoner, anyone?) and how double standard some chauvinistic people are. I know quite a few couples with that age gap of ten years or more and I could not say that I am not for it, because age is just a number. What was just wrong in this case is that the relationship between Allison and Nick is an abusive kind of relationship. If you like dark romances and student-teacher romantic relationships I’d say pick up this book and read more.

Many thanks to NetGalley, Flatiron Books and Alisson Wood for the privilege to read her memoir. 5 stars for a beautifully written book that should be required reading for so many people - men, young women, teachers, parents.

Alisson is a lonely teenager who has struggled with depression and self-harm. After spending part of her junior year at a more-nurturing school for troubled teenagers, she goes back to her high school for her senior year. Desperate to be seen and understood, she is paired with Mr. North, an English teacher 10 years her senior, for special tutoring in her writing. He gives her his copy of the book Lolita and grooms her to believe that it is about a special love. Tutoring turns into meeting at a diner in the evenings with the promise of a complete relationship once she turns 18 and graduates.

Only with reflection as she eventually moves away from the abusive relationship and gains the wisdom of hindsight does she see how much power Mr. North had over her. But instead of defining herself negatively by this experience, she chose to use it for good. She now teaches young women of the power of words and how they impact the reader.

This was an immensely powerful, beautifully written memoir. It read like a gripping novel - I couldn't put it down. Ms Wood puts you back in the teenage mindset of wanting to belong and feel that you are loved and understood. You want to scream at parents and teachers for not seeing what was happening, but we all know from our own experiences that teenagers are masters of manipulation. I especially loved how the author took power away from Mr North by referring to him as "the teacher." This emphasized the relationship they should have had and the very abusive nature he changed it to be.

The author stated in this book that her deepest desire was "to create something beautiful from something so terrible." Bravo for a job well done! My highest recommendation - this book needs to be read!

Review of BEING LOLITA by Alisson Wood: 🚨major content warning for many kinds of abuse. 🚨part 1 is her abusive non-physical relationship w/ her high school English teacher. she’s 17 & he’s 27. part 2 is their abusive physical/exclusive relationship after she turns 18, graduates & starts college. part 3 is her life after the relationship bc she’s a survivor. toward the beginning of part 2, two pages in particular stopped me in my tracks bc they were exactly what I experienced w/ someone 7yr older from summer camp when I was a teenager: consensual, 2 legal adults, & still took years to stop blaming myself for the physical pain. I suspect that parts of this book will strike readers powerfully. strong writing is an understatement. I didn’t realize that BEING LOLITA was nonfiction till I was 70% done w/ the book! this memoir reads like gripping — albeit disturbing — fiction. I’ve noticed bookstagrammers comparing BEING LOLITA to MY DARK VANESSA, which is understandable considering the content overlap. I’d like to write something longer comparing/contrasting them at some point. fiction versus nonfiction; statutory rape versus legal age to consent; sad versus uplifting endings; 30yr versus 10yr age difference; time jumps versus strictly chronological. I can’t help wondering what societal influences besides #metoo led these 2 books to be published in the same year. But I encourage readers to consider BEING LOLITA on its own terms. many thanks to the author for sharing this brave, raw story, & thank you Netgalley for my galley copy