I loved this! Amy Lutz is a phenomenal author. Hearing about autism from a mother's perspective was amazing.

We Walk by Amy S F Lutz is a true story of one mother’s journey navigating the world of severe autism with her son, Jonah. I actually discovered this book because Lutz was interviewed by Kate who is the blogger behind Finding Cooper’s Voice. I am a parent of 3 sons with autism, ranging from severe profound to highly gifted. I have also been trying to navigate the world of severe autism for 17 years. We hear a lot about individuals with high functioning autism (formerly known as Asperger’s), but the world of severe autism is still very much a secret mystery that not many people know about or even want to learn about. This world is differently from the characters who we are on the television shows such as The Big Bang Theory or The Good Doctor. It’s a world where individuals may not be able to effectively communicate or who have extreme behaviors. It’s a world where there are many hours of therapies and where we celebrate what may seem like small victories to people who do not know the world is severe autism. Lutz shows the readers a brief glimpse into her world of severe autism (for everyone’s world looks a bit different because individuals with autism are all unique) and she does so honestly. As a parent (and a teacher of students with severe autism), I appreciate someone who shows that autism is a spectrum and that there are many individuals who need constant supervision and support in order to be safe and happy. These individuals may have intellectual disabilities, sensory issues, and behavioral issues. These individuals need support and recognition in our society. I love that this was a story of her life, but she included a good deal of research throughout to support her beliefs and experiences in how she is dealing with her son. She does show that severe autism can have a scary side, but it can also have a beautiful side. I feel she helps give a voice to individuals with severe autism as well as their parents/ caregivers. These people often do not have speech and are unwilling to share the reality of severe autism.

The author, a mother of five, describes her life caring for a child with autism who has been silent, violent, self-harming and loving, all rolled into one distant kid. She tells us how they walk each morning, especially along a seashore promenade. Life for the boy Aaron was better if it was predictable - he thought so, and that made it easier for those around him. Aaron started refusing all but one kind of pretzel and had to be taken to a clinic to be taught to eat.

As a twenty year old man, Aaron is no genius scientist or surgeon, as we may see depicted on TV or film. This is a book which never mentions 'Rain Man' but many other roles are mentioned. Asperger's versus other kinds of autism and the general 'on the spectrum' diagnosis are discussed. As, near the end is ADHD and bipolar disorder. What we see overall is the lifelong disruption for all the family members, the lack of options, the lack of payment for being a full time carer and medication administrator. The book discusses various treatments from cannabinoids to Ritalin at different stages.

Amy doesn't tell us about much solidarity with other families - there is some, but many of them, including those affected, communicate online and have bitter arguments about whether to say 'autistic person' or 'person with autism'. Amy is Jewish and describes helping get Aaron ready for a rite of passage in that community - although it seems to have meant little to him, it meant something to her and her family, so it was worth doing. Overall this condition seems to be isolating for the carers. For those of us lucky enough not to have this in the family, the book is a sobering reminder of why we need to be tolerant, patient, unsurprised and even, if we can manage it, helpful.

I found the style to jump around somewhat, from accepting and weary, to determinedly medical, to asking theological questions which seemed pointless. - The historical queries were more practical and yes, severely autistic folks probably died young back then from walking into the path of camels or not understanding that they needed to eat. If the family could afford to feed them. But Amy doesn't look much further than the Old and New Testaments for her historical examples, which doesn't indicate a lot of research. I've previously read a book on psoriasis by Guy Kennaway, which suggests that this skin condition accounts for the supposed lepers who lived long lives in leper colonies.

Families affected by autism may have read all Amy's content already on blogs, but those of us who don't have cause to read such matter, should pick up this book for a taste of a difficult life.
I read an e-ARC from Net Galley. This is an unbiased review.

Lutz's book is unique, heartbreaking, hopeful, and eye-opening. The perceptions of Autism and the realities are so different that Lutz is bringing something impactful and important to the forefront of conversations about what illness looks like and how people are perceived vs. how they feel.

*I was given an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the opinions depicted are my own. Thanks to NetGalley and the author for allowing me to have an advanced copy of this book.*

4 stars.

This is a non-fiction book that describes the experience and thoughts of a mother who has a son with severe autism about their daily life, the fears about what the future might hold for both of them and some reflections regarding her religious views or current discussions surrounding autism.

Amy made it possible for me to get under her skin and feel every single experience she told in the first chapters. Of course, I cannot wholly understand what it is like to worry about a child's future when you know they will always need help for their daily activities; those who are so simple for many of us that we take them for granted. We should be grateful to be independent enough to cross the road by ourselves.

What I read really made me reflect on how much time and effort we spend on complaining about struggles that are, if we stop to think about it and see every in perspective, secondary.

As a psychologist focused on neuropsychology and neurosciences, I can understand a little bit better Jonah's (her son) experience as well as hers. This is why I was conflicted when I found the chapter in which she "makes him" have a traditional religious ceremony with her because it was important for the mother, wondering the rol of God in his autism. I know a person with no abstraction abilities can learn to do things but does not understand beliefs. Moreover, even though science has not yet come to discern the specific cause for autism, it has been clarified the reason does not belong to a supernatural being, but to external factors that affect the fetus during pregnancy and/or at birth. However, I do understand we tend to see things from our own perspective.

Another aspect this story helps us think about is how intolerant we have become to those who act differently. Every member of society (I'd say in the world) is so full of themselves that we do not accept any other way of thinking or acting; we don't even try to understand, which drags us further and further away from each other.

Overall, I would recommend this book to those who would like to understand autism and the concerns of family members of those who suffer from it severely.

I work with children like Jonah and have always wondered how parents cope at times. It was lovely to read about life as a parent trying to keep the balance of the family. I could relate to behaviours and the need for routine. Thank you Net Galley for the advance copy.

As a mom who is new at navigating the autism journey I loved this book. It was so relatable everything from music class to not so nice comments at what's supposed to be a family restaurant. I loved the way he loved to make lists. The excitement over special foods. Huge thanks to #NetGalley for a digital copy.

I appreciated this insight into the challenges and joys of raising a kid/adult who is severely autistic. It felt upbeat and positive even while sharing the very real frustrations.