Being a mother is so hard, and I never feel like I am enough. The author really helps you to believe that it is possible to be calm and confident in motherhood. I wish there were more practical suggestions though.

A Gift for All Mothers

As a clinical psychologist and a mom of three little ones myself, I have read countless parenting books, and Mama, You Are Enough by Dr. Claire Nicogossian is the first and only one that I have insisted on owning in every possible format (Kindle, audiobook, and print). If you are a mother, this book is really this good and this vital! What I adore about Mama, You Are Enough is that it delves into the often-unspoken challenges of motherhood, the ones that we might at times rather try to hide or deny to others (if not ourselves). While this might feel like dark territory, Dr. Claire maintains such a non-judgmental, compassionate tone throughout that it starts to feel safe. Motherhood is a powerful and sometimes heartwarming journey, but let’s face it, most of us are at least somewhat unprepared for the levels of stress and strain that come with raising children. The experience, with all its intensity and ups and downs, sometimes inevitably involves what Dr. Claire describes as the shadow emotions, or emotions like sadness, fear and anxiety, anger, embarrassment, and disgust. Rather than locking into a rigid view that shadow emotions are “bad” or ought to be denied or avoided, Dr. Claire compassionately normalizes these challenging feelings. By cultivating a response without judgment, moms can move from shame towards acceptance; from there, it is much more possible to start to find solutions and build skills to manage shadow emotions.

Dr. Claire emphasizes the importance of self-care. She understands that self-care can start to feel like one more thing we need to accomplish with limited time and energy, but she reassures us that self-care starts to feel possible and nourishing when we break it down into small daily steps. She outlines six types: physical, emotional, mental and cognitive, social, personal, and spiritual. To make it less overwhelming, Dr. Claire suggests to start with physical and emotional self-care as the foundation, to work on those first, and then pick out one additional area of self-care that is a particular priority and work on that area. Throughout the book, if you are anything like me, there will be times when you feel as if Dr. Claire is reading your mind. For instance, in talking about personal self-care, or the pursuit of one’s own hopes and dreams, Dr. Claire writes: “Many new moms struggle with feelings of loss of personal identity and freedom, even as they recognize how meaningful being a mother is. The adjustment to motherhood can seem so overwhelming because no longer are you as a mama thinking about yourself; you are organizing every waking moment around what your child needs, which can place personal self-care on hold for some time.” I found this and so many other lines in Mama, You Are Enough so deeply true that they stopped me in my tracks, and it felt almost as if Dr. Claire had peeked into my mama soul and articulated some of my deepest conflicts. I found great comfort in seeing many of my most difficult and complicated feelings so accurately articulated and compassionately validated, and I am sure most other mothers will also see themselves in many of Dr. Claire’s wise words and examples. Mama, You Are Enough brings a soft light to some of the darkest corners of motherhood, and in doing so, it lifts the burden of isolation so many of us can feel in our moments of struggle.

I truly cannot recommend this book enough. Mama, You Are Enough would be a beautiful, caring gift to give to yourself or someone you love. Any mother—and probably many fathers as well—would benefit tremendously from reading it. This is a book that is engagingly written and easy to dive right into, and the valuable nuggets and wisdom start at the beginning and continue its entire length. Unlike so many parenting books, the tone of Mama, You Are Enough is never patronizing, and its suggestions are realistic and attainable even for the busiest of mothers—this is in no small part because Dr. Claire is not only a seasoned psychologist but also a mother of four herself! She truly “gets it” in a real way, and she draws on both clinical and personal experiences in sharing lessons learned as well as providing examples. Though you may be tempted to devour this book in one sitting, Mama, You Are Enough is an incredibly rich resource that you can return to time and time again, choosing the facet of material that is most relevant in the moment.

This is a book that will lighten your burdens and renew your sense of hope. I hope you will allow yourself (and any mothers you love) the gift of reading it.

What an important topic to be brought to the forefront of readers minds. As a new mum myself it is so helpful to just read about women going through similar emotions and trials to me! Thank you for reminding me that I am a human and doing a great job!