Three Martini Afternoons at the Ritz is a fascinating and challenging piece of nonfiction that explores the lives of Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. At first, I thought this book would be a study of their friendship, but I would characterize it as a dual biography since the relationship takes up relatively few pages. The facts of these women's lives and their relationship with 40s and 50s America stand out most starkly when examined side by side.

Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton share some remarkable similarities and some profound differences. Gail Crowther has done impressive work to compare and contrast their experiences. For the most part, I found it a very difficult and uncomfortable read simply because of the subject matter. I think this book requires every trigger warning under the sun, especially for its discussion of suicide. While it was very well written, the sick feeling never left my stomach and I found it personally very intense. The author retains a sense of depth and compassion for the entire experience but there's frankly no way to sugarcoat some of the horrors in this book, especially regarding Anne Sexton.

After finishing this book, I feel like I have a much greater understanding of this time period and these two legendary poets. If you're interested in either woman, I would recommend you dive into this book. An understanding of both women enriches your understanding of each. Just tread carefully with the subject matter in mind.

Trigger/content warnings: rape, domestic abuse, child abuse, strong language, sexual violence, sexual content.

Both were emerging poets, and both were hugely ambitious women in a cultural moment that did not know how to deal with ambitious women.

Author and biographer specialized in studies of Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath (cool job alert) Gail Crowther weaves together the groundbreaking similarities of the two women’s lives in this joint biography, along with what’s known of their friendship and time together in Robert Lowell’s poetry workshop.

Now, at the risk of revealing of the embarrassing extent of how I could always cite these two among my favorite poets while not being very knowledgeable of their lives at all, I didn’t actually know they’d taken a class together. So mind a bit blown from the get-go.

But aside from that one eventful workshop, which took place at a pivotal time in both of their lives and developing careers, Sexton and Plath’s relationship wasn’t a deep and enduring one. They exchanged some letters and kept in touch after Plath’s move to England with Ted Hughes, and read each other’s work here and there. So although Crowther explores the extent of this friendship, including the titular boozy after-class afternoons, there are many unknowns. She makes some educated guesses based on what was happening in their lives and their general attitudes, and some snippets of writing, but it’s not always concrete.

Normally I hate that, but I thought it was well done and honest here. She never takes wild leaps of speculation, and I still found that the insights and potential were illuminating. It’s important to know what you’re getting with this one though, since the actual interactions between Plath and Sexton were pretty limited.

Crowther does impressive work of showing how these women defied (or sometimes struggled with) the standards and expectations of their time while making art from pain, art that has been so meaningful to so many people. But it’s more of a compare and contrast exercise than about their personal relationship.

She looks at the “gendered attitudes” applied to their work and its perceived quality, and by extension to its readers — for example, young women “told they’ll “grow out” of reading Plath, that they lack any critical faculties, merely worship at the shrine of a suicide death goddess and so on.”

Plath is an interesting case because despite such a short life, the biographical scholarship around her is voluminous. Last year, Red Comet: The Short Life and Blazing Art of Sylvia Plath came out, clocking in at 1,152 pages. So I’m not sure how much would be new here for readers more familiar with her life. I know the basics and of course what I’ve read of her own autobiographical canon, but there was a lot I didn’t know, like that Ted Hughes had full control over her copyright after her death, and he used that to manipulate (“fiddle with”, per Crowther) some of her unpublished manuscripts, and even conveniently “lost” some letters and poems: “Unfortunately, by protecting himself Hughes portrayed Plath in a way that still blights our reading and understanding of her.” This includes Ariel and the order of its poems, which, arranged by Hughes, tell a very different story than how Plath arranged them.

It’s written so well – I’m not a big biography reader but I love ones like this, that highlight the importance of specific events and are filled with lots of fascinating bits of trivia and stories (like that Sylvia was obsessed with “gruesome murders and serial killers” and kept newspaper clippings of grim stories above her desk). I also appreciated that Crowther looked at events from multiple angles, because there’s a lot of nuance in their behavior and choices. I think I expected it to be more gossipy, but it’s just the right balance between analytical, informative and highly readable.

Sexton’s portions haunted me. Both women had exhausting lives due to mental illness, but hers seemed especially so — both living her own life and being in her life seemed exhausting. The elephant in the room in dealing with her is that her daughter, Linda Gray Sexton, detailed Sexton’s horrific abuse in her memoir, Searching for Mercy Street. Crowther handles this troubling history well, referring to Gray Sexton’s “survival journey from anger to forgiveness” as being key in understanding their complicated relationship. “Linda does not want this part of her life to be simplified and labeled, and she believes that by holding her mother to account, then forgiving her, she can understand her mother better. At the same time, she does not want her mother’s art shut down.”

I was glad to read Crowther’s analysis of this aspect, because it’s always troubled me about loving Sexton’s poetry as much as I do. How to reconcile the art with the artist? Can we even do that anymore, with the reckoning we’ve had in recent years around sexual abuses? Crowther makes the valid point, stated from other authors as well, that if Sexton was a man we would probably never read her anymore. But her daughter explicitly doesn’t want that, and I think her voice is the most important one in this conversation.

There is just so much to unpack about both of these women, and although this isn’t a deep dive by any means, Crowther pulls out the highlights brilliantly and hits all of the key arguments around each.

Sexton wrote about her experiences because she felt that one day they may help other people. She firmly believed that “my suffering will reach someone more than my joy.” If from time to time she resented being classed as the crazy poet, she equally knew that this was where her power lay.

One of the most meaningful ideas I took from this was Crowther’s assertion, “If Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton had never known each other, never read each other’s work, literature today would be a very different place.” So not only regarding their place in literary history, and as two women fighting against unimaginable odds both internal and external in the “sexist depths of the literary world” to make art, but that these two forces also shaped each other, and continue to help new generations of readers find words for their own struggles and revivals.

Writing about how Plath first had a happy and loving marriage like any other, when it broke she “wrote the ultimate, searing breakup poems about life, love, and loss that have helped so many readers get through their own difficult times. Not many people can do or say that.”

The poems they wrote save people. Their lives may have ended suddenly, but there was nothing doomed about these two women. With extraordinary strength, they were able to use their struggles and difficulties to create something that filled their lives with satisfaction and pleasure. Then they gifted this to readers.

At a workshop at Boston University, taught by the famous poet Robert Lowell, Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton first met each other and became friends, then rivals. After class, they would go the Ritz for "martini meetings" to discuss everything from what they were writing, to relationships, to their numerous failed suicide attempts. Interestingly enough, they actually became better friends once Sylvia moved back to England and there was more distance between the two rivals. After she moved away, they continued to correspond, but never saw each other again.
I felt a bit mislead when I began to read the book. I thought the book would be about the two of them and their friendship/rivalry, and their weekly martini meetings. However, their relationship was only a small part of the book, and they actually spent very little time in each other's presence. The vast majority of the book compared the two women in all areas of their lives, showing how similar they were. The author was very diligent in her research, and I feel I know a lot about both women now. This is a very heavy read, that deals with issues like mental illness, child abuse & suicide.

Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz: The Rebellion of Sylvia Platt & Anne Sexton by author, Gail Crowther

Ms. Crowther pulls back the curtain on her non-fiction, deep dive of a narrative pertaining to the lives of Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton~ their rebellion, their work, their families~ and their deaths. Two very different, unique women, yet eerily similar.

Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz is a meticulously researched, comparable dual biography, that offers an alluring yet haunting portrayal of what made Plath and Sexton who they were as women, and as writers. Brilliant, talented and flawed, their struggles were real and many, and their successes frowned upon as they strived to been seen, and heard, in a world they were determined to be a part of beyond the expected roles of wife and mother.

As the author continues to peel back the layers, you'll find this is not a story rich in friendship between best friends, but a journey through the true, gritty and brutal facts of how these women lived~ their friendship, rivalries, and complexities~ one that will fray the nerves as too the depth of their life stories.

Ms. Crowther has created an impressive, respectful, gripping biography that is brimming with her dedication to detail of the emotionally charged highs and lows of this talented yet troubled duo, that has certainly caught my attention.

Whether you're just learning about these women for the first time, or looking to learn more about the life and times of Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton, you would be hard-pressed not to find what you're looking for here.

I thank the author and NetGalley for my copy of this intriguing, unforgettable read. (Trigger warning...)

4 Stars

#GailCrowther
#threemartiniafternoonsattheritz
#GalleryBooks

Wild Sage Book Blog

I was happy to learn more about these two great writers. I knew them through their works but I didn't know a lot about them as persons.
This was a good way to get to know more about them. Well researched and well written.
Highly recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine

Plath and Sexton together. What a wonderful honor to read of these two amazing women. This was an eye opener on these two and I enjoyed reading their story.
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

This book was such an insightful read for so many reasons. I really enjoyed it and am so glad I read it. The structure of the book was perfect. I loved the way Crowther introduces Sexton and Plath and then starts traveling through the various areas of their lives and interests and how they would have intersected while drinking their afternoon martinis after their writing class.

I always had a fascination with Sylvia Plath when I was younger, but it was the type of fascination spoken about in the beginning of the book whereby I was just enamored with the idea of who she was. This book shed so much insight into the realities of her life. In so many ways I felt myself able to connect with her about her struggles to manage everything while also loving everything that she was managing. The book humanizes Plath in a way that I haven't seen done before.

I haven't known much about Anne Sexton in the past, so it was interesting to see her compared and contrasted with Sylvia Plath and to learn more about how they were similar and different. There was a lot about Sexton that I found to be shocking and surprising, but I'm glad to have learned more about her to better understand the female poets of the 1950s and 1960s.

The way Crowther broke the book into chapters by topic made it very readable. While I enjoyed all of them, I particularly enjoyed Mothering and Mental Illness. I enjoyed Mothering because of my role as a mother that sometimes feels like I can't manage everything that I'm undertaking. Seeing the expectations of women at the time compared to now wasn't surprising, but in truth it was a little sad how much things have stayed the same in a way. I loved the mental illness chapter because of how much it talked about how mental illnesses were treated during these women's lives. It was fascinating to hear how depression and anxiety were medicated or tested or not focused on at all, depending on the situation. Learning of the time that Plath spent at mental facilities and all of the test treatments she underwent for depression that had no medical basis made me so thankful for modern medicine.

I love the way Crowther used a myriad of sources to compile this book--the research and writing is astounding. To make it even more enjoyable, her ability to align the lines of the poem to the moments in these women's lives is impressive. Crowther touches on second and third wave feminism here and there throughout the book, but I didn't think that it added much, as she doesn't go into the level of depth that she does when talking about the women themselves. I didn't mind it, but I didn't find any of the modern comparisons to be surprising. I would imagine most people who would pick up this book would find the comparisons to be common knowledge.

I will recommend this book highly in the future. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review!

I was unable to finish this book and thus will not be posting a full review. Thank you for the opportunity.

for a brief moment in time, two of the most iconic American poets, Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton, would meet up weekly at the Ritz in Boston to drink martinis — three at least — and chat about everything under the sun. would kill to be a fly on the wall of those conversations, and while we’ll never know exactly what was said at these chic, chaotic meetings, this book gives us an in-depth, well-researched, holistic view at the lives and minds of two groundbreaking women, and the impact they made on culture as we know it.

coming right off the heels of reading The Barbizon — about the all-women’s hotel where Plath resided for a stint that inspired The Bell Jar — i thought i’d continue having a Sylvia Plath moment. this book seeks to tell the story of these two women, by outlining their similarities and differences in thought — about marriage, motherhood, writing, mental health, suicide, and more. the book itself is designed this way, a chapter for each.

they had different opinions on running a home and cooking for their husbands, different approaches to mothering their children, stemming from how they were mothered. but those smaller differences dwarfed in comparison to the fact that they both seriously struggled with mental illness, both made several suicide attempts, and both ultimately succeeded. this became an integral part of their legend and their power.

in an era where electroconvulsive therapy was an actual thing, this book makes you realize just how unbelievable it was that they were able to write and create in a way that made them the legends they are, changing the course of history for women, while not only living within their troubled minds, but having no context because of the hush-hush culture that surrounded mental health. this was the beauty of the three-martini afternoons i suppose — finally someone as talented but also tortured as the other, someone who won’t judge their deepest thoughts because they’ve had them too.

just like The Barbizon, this is a niche nonfiction about some pretty badass literary women and their journeys that led to the mark they left on literature and women everywhere.

it’s out tomorrow!

Two of the greatest poets, Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton first became friends, then rivals. I knew that both of these women had personal issues, but had no idea how much they both suffered. Neither fit the stereotypical norm of the time. A woman's place was at home, taking care of her husband, and definitely not having ambition or talent of her own.
This is a story about the difficulties they both faced, and sadly, how each of them died too young. I only knew these women from their words and their deaths, so it was intriguing to take a deeper dive into their lives. It is hard to imagine what it must have been like to have hopes and dreams that were considered 'crazy' just because they were different. A sad but engaging story that showed their grit underneath their tragic lives. Be aware that mental health and suicide are discussed throughout this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Gallery Books for providing me with an ARC in exchange for my honest review!

Going into this, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I thought iI knew a good deal about Sylvia Plath, and recognized I knew little about Anne Sexton, but I quickly realized that there was so much more depth to both of them that I’d had no exposure to. This was overall very well researched, and I particularly enjoyed how excerpts from their poems were weaved into the story of their lives.

Focusing on both Plath and Sexton presented an interesting and unique take. Although their lives intersected only briefly, they largely paralleled each other in a way that makes their similarities and differences clear and easy to understand. I found that having two unique examples of how women navigated this male-dominated world far more poignant than I would have had this focused solely on one or the other. The experiences and works of these two incredible women are given context through the world they lived in. Plath and Sexton are humanized without being romanticized, portrayed as the complicated and extraordinary women they were rather than as solely the morbid, tragic figures they are often remembered as.

A relatively quick read, I overall enjoyed this immensely. Biographies aren’t something I read all that often, so it was refreshing that this one was so interesting. I love to see women recognized as complex beings, capable of both good and bad.

Well this was not what I was expecting at all!!
I am ashamed to say that I knew nothing of Sylvia Plath or Anne Sexton. I read nothing of their work, but I have The Bell Jar on my tbr for this year.
So to say that reading this book and finding out how tragic their lives were and how paralleled they were was a shock is a huge understatement.
This was not a typical biography about some extraordinary women. They were so ahead of their time and paved the way for so many women in the field, but they desperately needed so much help for their mental illness. It makes me incredibly sad that their lives ended as they did.
I’m so thankful for NetGalley and Gallery books for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Thanks to Gallery Books for an advanced copy of Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz by Gail Crowther.

I'm not as familiar with Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton, but I found this interesting. to read and to learn more about their lives and how they met. This added an interesting perspective and I enjoyed the in-depth research presented here.

For me, many poets are known by name but not much more than that. Of course, I presumed I knew about Sylvia Plath, now I have learned so much more. Anne Sexton was a name I had come across but embarrassingly knew very little about.

Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz by Gail Crowther was highly readable for an old "curmudgeon" like me. I found the set-up of the book easy to follow as I picked it up and set it down. So much interesting info to digest.
Chapters were organized chronologically by topic and went on to explain the similarities and differences between the two poets. Illuminating where their lives intersected and contrasting how much they diverged each section was captivating.

I am so grateful to NetGalley to have received a digital copy to read and review.

This was a really enlightening dual biography. Two years ago, I managed to get my hands on the 2018 edition of Ariel which was supposed to better reflect Plath's original artistic intentions, and also included a foreword written by her daughter. That was my first real exposure to Plath's work, and though I knew some cursory information going into it, I was unaware of many of the finer details. This book helped me even more to understand her life, since this provided a pretty comprehensive overview. I knew nothing about Anne Sexton before reading this. This was the first book I'd ever read about her and I certainly had no idea how closely her and Plath's lives were intertwined, so that was fascinating. This is definitely a cohesive book written by someone who definitely knows her subjects, and though there is much here that is rather dark, I did feel I learned a great deal from reading this. I might not have picked this up if it hadn't been for NetGalley, so I definitely am grateful to have had the chance to review it. For any serious Plath fan or scholar looking for a book that explores a variety of topics from sexism, to mental health, to creativity through the lives of two remarkable women, this book is an excellent choice.

Having read The Bell Jar many years ago I had an interest in a biography on Sylvia Plath. Even better that it also included a biography on another high level female poet of equal calibre, Anne Sexton.

In a time when women writers were not taken seriously it was interesting to read about the parallel lives of these two complicated as they handled the challenges of being a wife, mother and poet.

My thanks to Netgalley for allowing me to review this book.

Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz: The Rebellion of Sylvia Plath & Anne Sexton by Gail Crowther

I'm very familiar with Sylvia Plath, her work (although I don't usually understand it without commentary), her life and her death. I only knew Anne Sexton by name and that she was a poet. Both women suffered from mental illness and were institutionalized at some point in their lives but so were a lot of other creative people in their sphere of contemporaries. They both suffered from pressure to be housewives and mothers while attempting to carve their paths in life as artists and women who speak bluntly about what it means to be a woman in a world where they are supposed to be the support to their man's success. 

Both women led very promiscuous and violent sexual lives and seemed to thrive on doing so even though they didn't garner happiness from that part of their lives. Suicide attempts were a part of both woman's lives until they each succeeded in killing themselves. This book compares and contrasts each woman's life and their friendship and rivalry. Both the title of the book and the cover led me to believe that the story would have a historical fiction slant to it. I have a feeling if I had researched Anne Sexton as much as I had researched Sylvia Plath, I would have known most of what was presented in the book. I feel that this book is for true fans of both women, while for me, it just cements the fact that thinking about their lives, the effect their lives had on their children, and trying to understand their work, is a truly depressing endeavor for me. 

Thank you to Gallery Books and NetGalley for this ARC.

The story of two of the greatest poets of the twentieth century. Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. The two meet at a workshop in Boston led by Robert Lowell, they for a friendship that spun way out of control fueled by jealousy, respect, and a rivalry that never ended.

There is so much I did not know about these two fierce women. So creative and yet so tortured by mental issues, attempts at suicides, stays in asylums. In a time when women were supposed to be home tending their men, they were not being pushed aside. I’m sure they had much difficulty with their male counterparts and while their work could be shocking and angry and full of self-doubt, they felt they had as much right as men to forge their own paths.

Back in the day women like this were usually described as hysterical and placed in an asylum.

There afternoons drinking martinis were where they discussed all of that. They were so different and yet their lives almost mirrored each other. They both died young with people still thinking their works were unfit to read.

But all this time later, we have all read their work. Some of it is hard, but it’s honest.

I appreciated all of the research that went into this book. It was a deep dive and the author did a great job.

Well Done!

NetGalley/ April 20th, 2021 Gallery Books

Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC. A book about both Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton, their life, their convictions, their mental illnesses, their talents, their suicides and mostly their friendship. It is very factual and you can tell the author did a ton of research. Written for fans of Plath and Sexton #threemartiniafternoonsattheritz #gailcrowther #june2021

I received a complimentary copy of this title from the publisher through Netgalley. Opinions expressed are my own.

This has apparently been the year for a Sylvia Plath resurgence and I am LIVING for it. I'm a bit of a Plath fan and read pretty much anything about her I can get my hands on. I've loved that there's been exploration, research, and writing about her and her life apart from her relationship with Ted Hughes. And the friendship between Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton has always been moderately mysterious, though definitely fascinating.

To give an indicator of how much of a Plath nerd I am, I'll say this: It wasn't as good as Red Comet, but was better than Pain, Parties, Work. The former was ALL about Plath and her life and writing. The latter claimed to frame Plath's summer in New York against New York's lifestyle at the time, but truly ended up being more of an investigation into the lifestyle rather than a true biography. It's like Sylvia Plath was an afterthought and a way to push it through publishing.

This book is a bit like that. If you're looking for 100% Plath and Sexton, this book has a bit more than that. It's also an exploration of female writers and literature in the time, along with their struggle. I did enjoy the glimpse into their very unique friendship, especially as I have not thoroughly researched Anne Sexton. But it's definitely a worthy read if you know a bit about the both the authors and are interested in the context of their lives and struggles.