Cover Image: I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

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Member Reviews

Sarah writes with honesty, transparency, and bouyancy. I never imagined someone could write about something so sinister, yet so drenched with hope and true (not superficial) joy. She speaks of the darkest side of emotions, even invites us into painful corners of her story, all the while guiding us to look up to Redemption, and giving us tools to help us navigate along the path. She reminds us that suffering demands both compassion, care, and likewise can be tremendously purposeful and holy. Sarah is a master at her trade, and I am forever grateful for this resource. I have and will continue to refer friends to the wisdom of this book.

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I Love. Jesus, But I Want to Die is a beautiful book written with first hand experience from a Christian struggling with depression. The vulnerability that went into this book will help readers feel less alone in their struggle with depression and would be a great resource for church leaders and anyone with a loved one struggling with depression or anxiety.

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As soon as I read Sarah’s note that my, the reader’s, safety is more important than finishing the book I knew this wasn’t going to be like any other book. The pages are full of grace, vulnerability, and validation for both fellow sufferers and those who love them.

Sarah guides the reader through her mental health struggles sharing profound insight she’s collected along the way. In some ways our stories are similar, but in a lot of ways they’re different. She is quick to acknowledge those differences and there’s this magic in the way she shares her pain and heart that makes me feel like there’s space for my pain (and others) alongside hers.

Part three was my least favorite, as my own unresolved story came bubbling to the surface. It took me a long time to get through, but I kept reminding myself of Sarah’s wisdom to take care of myself first. I mention this because I imagine that many readers will have a similar moment. This book isn't a solution. It's a companion for the journey, whether that journey lasts a season or a lifetime. I know this book will have a permanent spot on my bookshelf for years to come.

Finally, if you are someone who doesn’t relate to the title I still highly recommend reading it. Not only is there wisdom for all seasons in its pages, chances are there is someone in your life who loves Jesus but wants to die.

@WaterBrookMultnomah #Partner #NetGalley

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have walked with many who struggle with severe depression, I have parented a suicidal child, I know that mental health struggles and exist even in people who have a deep and strong faith. So when I saw this book available as a launch team option, I knew I wanted to read a believer's perspective on a very real struggle.




I am encouraged by this book that the author reveals her real experiences, sharing the extreme examples of her self-harm, and suicidal tendencies in a different style and font, so that if you might be triggered you can skip that section and the details that don't need to be glorified of how extreme her behaviors and actions were when her brain was unbalanced and she was deeply depressed.

I've read lots of research on trauma, on how our brains work, and how how to help heal those who have endured trauma, and have found that the proven strategies that are found to work, are founded in unconditional love, support, relationship, and connection. But depression and anxiety can't all be managed with other people supporting and loving you, sometimes there is a need for medication and other strategies to help the brain function and the author reminds us of that, as well as how shame impacts our own self-talk and beliefs about who we are. She references well-known research in the field.

In this book, Sarah Robinson shares her experiences with those who lacked knowledge and awareness of mental illness, and their platitudes that hurt, but the love and acceptance that was real, and overarching. She shares scripture throughout her story and truths to help recognize how God feels about the human beings He created.


I appreciated her input on neuroplasticity, that as we "rewire our perceptions of God to better line up with the truth of who He is." It makes so much sense and fits with all I have learned about how we can re-wire a brain through real relationship, which is exactly what I have experienced as I've grown to know God personally.
I have found this book an excellent resource to inform my practice and draw closer to God, and a healthy mindset focusing on the fact that He created me and calls me "Beloved." I have found this book to be something I can recommend to others struggling with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. I think this book would be excellent for leaders in the local church to read and learn how to be most effective when someone struggling with issues like these, seeks out their love, support, and help.



Thankful to partner with Waterbrook Publishing and read an advance copy.

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This book is a must read if you've experienced any level of depression, Jesus follower or not. However, those in the church may have their eyes opened to the danger of trying to pat someone on the back and tell the person they will pray for you as go through this little depression episode.

This book hit on so many items I've gone through over the past 35 years, and unfortunately many in the church setting. Not that people didn't care, they had no idea that under the smiles was mountains of pain and sadness. You become afraid to share you're suffering. But they have no clue what to do or say and often don't understand that it will "go away with time."

Hard book to read because of the raw truth, but such a blessing in the words and transparency of the author. If you have depression issues or love someone who does, get this book.

Disclaimer: I received a digital copy of the book from the publisher, @WaterBrookPress with no expectation in return. The above words and opinions are my own. #Partner

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If you’re a Christian who struggles with depression, Sarah Robinson wrote this book to let you know you are not alone. If you’ve often been told to deepen your faith to conquer your depression and that didn’t work, this book is for you. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah gets raw and vulnerable sharing her own battle with depression. A topic that isn't spoken about much in Christian circles. A topic that makes those that struggle feel alone in their struggles. Sarah offers a guide to how to seek help and speak up, even if you’ve felt unable to share with those around you, especially in the church. With Sarah’s help, get ready to see your walk with God in a fresh way that won’t leave you feeling ashamed of it because of your mental health.

Trigger/content warnings are listed clearly for chapters that discuss delicate subjects.

This book is also great for those that have a loved one with depression. The gift of insight into your loved one’s world when they may not share with you. Sarah has a thoughtful appendix on how to help your loved ones.

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Really enjoyed this book! I’ve had depressive thoughts and it was refreshing to see that I’m not alone in my intertwining of faith and awful feelings. I loved the ideas the author had to help us to acknowledge the negativity while also turning wholeheartedly towards Jesus.

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Some of the best books are the ones that come to you at just the right time. This is one of those books for me. After the stress of the last year, I have been feeling depression symptoms stronger than I have in awhile. Sarah’s book made me feel so seen.

While no one person’s experience with mental illness is the same, her stories helped me to identify with where I am right now. Also her thorough research both biblically and with mental health experts took everything to the next level. I can’t wait to recommend this book to many in my life and feel like it will resonate with those who love someone with depression and anxiety, even if they haven’t experienced it themselves.

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I love how Sarah shares her experiences, feelings, support one may need. She encourages the reader to face obstacles, self-care, recognizing needs of loved ones and so much more. She blends scripture with science offering equal balance to getting the help one needs to battle depression. We all have our good and bad days, and I love the tools given an order to get through those days. I highly recommend this book as a guide and a resource for everyone whether you battle depression, love someone who does, or need encouragement sometimes. Sarah is very real and gentle. God loves us and we can come to Him, just as we are.
#NetGalley
#ILoveJesusButIWanttoDie

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Simply put, this is one of the best books I've ever read regarding mental illness as a Christian within the Church. Do you have people who suggest you don't pray enough or have enough faith because you suffer from mental illness? Do you feel an additional shame from the Church regarding your mental illness over the shame you already feel from society? Do you want to challenge people to be more compationate and to take a more Biblical, compassionate, and helpful stance in helping you deal with depression? Are you someone who loves someone in your life who deals with mental illness and want to better understand how to help? Do you want encouragement and advice on living with mental illness from people who are in the trenches with you? Do you want to approach mental illness from a spiritual, emotional, and physical perspective?

Then you need to read this book!

From the opening of the very first chapter, I wept as I read the loving words Sarah Robinson shared. I felt like I wasn't alone. I felt seen! I felt challenged in really good, healthy ways to pursue healthy behaviors and lifestyles. It is a book that comforts in the midst of some of the worst hurt I could be experiencing in the moment. It is a book that dares to hope in the midst of the mess.

So if you are looking for a book written through the stories and experiences of someone who loves Jesus while battling the pain of mental illness... A book that references the Bible, scientific studies, and the experiences of people fighting the battle... A book that acts as encourager and advocate as you fight your own battle... Then please read this wonderful book.

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With vulnerability, generosity, honesty, compassion and truth, Sarah J. Robinson weaves together Scripture and hope as she shares her own experience with mental illness and depression.

This is not a "just choose joy" message. This book does not preach at you. Instead, it's a shame-free guide for those who are struggling -- and for those who love someone who is struggling. Truly, it's one I hope thousands upon thousands of people read because it has the power to change the conversation and potentially save lives. Don't miss the valuable resources in the back... warning signs, things to say, tips for tough conversations, and books/podcasts for further learning.

Note: Throughout the book, Sarah includes a clear 'warning' when the following content may be triggering. Though none of the highlighted, clearly marked sections were triggering for me personally, I very much appreciate the intentionally and thoughtfulness behind this choice.

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I am currently training to be a marriage and family counselor and thought this might be a helpful book for potential clients. I had no idea how much I would identify with much of the material.

It was powerful to read the author’s words and be validated through our shared experiences: denying our emotions, stuffing them down, trying with all our might to overcome but falling short, and the immense feelings of shame that accompany mental illness. I’d argue that religion is a way to channel mental illness-to direct the negative emotions and give us reasons to hold onto them (I’m a sinner and should feel guilt, condemning the flesh, denying oneself of pleasures, etc) that make it seem like one is pious when in reality they are suffering and not fully living. There were many times that I finished a section and felt I was understood, and was simultaneously sad that someone else understood my experience-because it was a really crappy experience.

I appreciate the content warnings and how the subject matter was treated delicately, with immense amounts of grace. It is evident the author’s motivation is to provide help for those walking through depression, anxiety, suicidality, and self-injurious behaviors. I did not read this as a self help book written by an authority figure, but rather a guide/memoir. It didn’t have the feel of “do this and you will feel better!!”, rather it was more of a “this is what I’ve been through, this is what I wish I’d known” book.

I would recommend it to a person of the Christian faith-it is full of scriptures to help the individual and guidance of what to look for when seeking help through medication and/or therapy. The author also references evidence based practices and research to support her claims, which I deeply respect. I would also suggest what the author suggests: take what helps, leave what doesn’t, skip what you don’t feel ready to read.

I received an ARC of this book courtesy of the publisher through NetGalley. The opinions are my own.

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This book is raw, refreshing, and hope filled. Sarah does a wonderful job of articulating the struggles of mental illness while whole heartedly loving Jesus.
This book helps remove personal shame and social shame for not being able to “just get it together “.
Thank you and God bless you for writing this (painfully) delightful book.

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I LOVE JESUS BUT I WANT TO DIE-Sarah J. Robinson

The title of this book says it all. Net Galley supplied me with this book for purpose of review.

Sarah is an excellent writer and she writes about the subject of mental illness.,,,,,yes, Jesus lovers have thoughts of suicide. She gives a warning in the beginning of book to possible trigger subjects and they are marked so you can skip over those subjects. By no means does it impact the truth of the book any less.

Sarah has studied, served and has mental illness. She discusses all the feels that those who may have anything from PTSD to you name it, and comes alongside with helps and comfort for each person.

I struggled at the firsts of the book because it was depressing,,,,,,,but then I recognized I was not in a good place at the time and my feels from her subject was too hurtful.

Grab this book, a trusted friend, a good Christian counselor and see the grace and power of our Heavenly Father and His love.

#Net Galley. #Goodreads

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Wow, this book. Wow.

It was the title that really drew me to this book, as someone who has struggled with mental health, and who now spends time as a mental health support counselor for young adults, I hoped that this book would give me insight into how I may become better at supporting those who seek counsel and someone to vent to. I was especially interested to see this discussed from a faith perspective for a number of reasons.

I was not disappointed. To be clear, this is not a medical book to help you diagnose anyone or yourself (leave that to those better qualified), but it is a very raw and emotional history of a struggle with depression, rounded out with support, helpful tips, and lots of love and acceptance for seeking a path that will serve the individual, yet does not purport mental health as something that can be “fixed”. And that’s okay.

The vulnerability of the author moved me to the core, though our circumstances are so different, there was so much overlap in emotional and treatment experience that this book had me in tears, quite often. (It is especially breaks my heart to hear of more people who’ve had the experience of being told by a therapist “it’s your fault I can’t help you”, which is a scarring experience that probably scares many away from trying again).

I love that the author really stresses the “excruciating physicality” of mental illness, as well as the discomfort most still experience when it comes to talking about living with “a lifelong disorder” (ch. 9). As well as taking into account the strong feelings and stigma that can be attached to taking medication, and the frustration of not getting better (so to speak) even when you feel like you’ve found something that “should” made you better (be it faith or therapy) , or the frustration of some well-meaning, yet misguided and hurtful, advice that one can get.

Though coming from a faith perspective probably helps taking this book in, I would honestly recommend this to anyone who struggles with mental health or knows someone who does. There is just so much ground covered here and so much that really puts you into the shoes of the experience, that you won’t leave this book empty handed. Though the experiences and emotions are unique to each individual, this book will no doubt be deeply relatable for many, and it comes with trigger warnings that helps the reader navigate around particularly sensitive topics like suicide and self-harm.

When I started reading this book I wasn’t sure how I would review it, I was scared to even hint at my own struggles with mental health in it and how that would be perceived by others. That initial fear and shame in me shows (something I also see when I support others) that there is still some growing to do when it comes to talking about mental health, we are getting better at it, but books like this one is important in order to continue to remove the stigma of mental illness.

Bravo to the author, it is incredible to read something so vulnerable but also helpful. I will carry parts of this book with me for a long time,

Thank you lots to NetGalley and WaterBrook (and Random House) for this pre-release copy in exchange for a fair review.

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Very helpful for those struggling with depression and mental health issues. Sarah’s compassion shows through in her writing. Helps in recognizing and naming symptoms and making people aware that mental health problems are not something to be ashamed of. Highly recommended.

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Such a great book for people to read dealing with depression. It is real and honest and raw which is something people need who are dealing with this situation in their life. This is a book that I hope gets into the hands of many readers. Christians deal with depression so much in silence and don’t usually feel safe to talk about it. I can’t say enough about how glad I am this is going to be available for many.
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy. I will be sharing it with others.

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Mental illness has been the oil in organized religion’s water for centuries for many reasons, chiefly doubt, sin, or curses. Interestingly enough, the illness itself shows the symptoms of sickness within the structure of the church itself in addressing mental illness and being an active, empathetic support system.

I appreciate the author’s openness in presenting an honest picture of mental illness that takes causation head on to dispel the ignorance around it and show how to bridge the gap between discomfort and love.

Thanks to WaterBrook and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

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An honest, heartfelt book that details what its like dealing with depression as a Christian. The author expressed so much of what many of us have felt, but wasn't sure we could say to others. Its always helpful to know you're not the only one going through things, or having the reactions you do.
A valuable resource to share with others who might be experiencing these same things. I don't know when I've read a book where the author was so real and vulnerable. Very refreshing and encouraging. I received a copy of this book from the publisher with no requirement for a review. These are my own honest thoughts and opinions.

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I think this is a great book for any Christian who lives with mental illness, but I think it is an even more important read for those who don’t and don’t understand it. If you have never felt the pain, isolation, and fear that comes from depression, if you have never contemplated taking your own life, you need to read this.

If you are a clergy person who still refers to mental illness as demons, says those with mental illness don’t have strong enough faith or believe that they deserve it, read this book. Stop spreading harm and hate. Learn how to love, support, and accept people as they are.

Last note, I really do appreciate how she includes trigger warnings before specific chapters that could be difficult, it helped me know what I felt comfortable reading.

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