I ended up enjoying this book. I found it to be very hard-hitting and thought-provoking as well. You know a contemporary about serious subjects is good and well written when it can make you feel uncomfortable (in a good way) and this is what Before You Were Blue did for me. I enjoyed how the book was written and Schwartz has a lot of talent when writing and creating characters. Despite this being a book about eating disorders and how the recovery process can go from some people, I found it to be a lot more than that. I loved how the book focused on the characters of Shoshana and Rowan and the aspects of their recovery besides just their ED.

Shoshana and Rowan are both very different characters but it was interesting to follow their journeys throughout the book. Shoshana, a cheerleader, and Jewish girl, on the surface, is a lot more likable than Rowan. Rowan has a very tough exterior and persona but we do get glimpses of her soft side through her relationship with Shoshana. While the two are separated, we get to learn a bit more about their characters as the book is set in two POVs. The dual POV is incredibly important for this story as it helps tell the narrative of them both and get an idea of their characters through their perspective but also the other as well.

I enjoyed the writing in this book as well. At times it is a bit simplistic but it reads well and is quick. I haven't read an ED book in some time, and this was a great way to get back into the subgenre of it. Schwartz took a lot of time to make sure the characters are well-rounded and are more than just their ED.

I love the meaning of colors and I loved the way it was used in this book. Schwartz created characters that are in a situation I've never found myself in but I related to them nonetheless. They were real and three dimensional. This is a great book!

“The more you love someone the more damage they can do, and here you’ve been, secretly singeing my skin all along like some newly formed star.”

Some people are fragile, but like bombs: a drop and all you know happens next is destruction. Just as fragile, yet appearing just as strong, is the know-it-all, stiff and strong Rowan Parish. Maybe it’s a stereotype or maybe it’s just her, but with her closed off attitude comes loneliness. And in Shoshana, the girl who listens to everything Rowan says, the girl who never lies, Rowan finds a best friend, a person to assuage that loneliness.

Having ED comes with an insecurity, one of not knowing what comes next and the other of expecting when everything will be back to normal again. That’s what keeps every girl at RR going: Turning “Blue” At the start, Rowan has no intentions of turning blue but Shoshana wishes with all her heart to get better. Yet, the unspoken words lie in the air of one of them leaving soon that unnerves the other. Shoshana turns Blue and leaves RR, leaving Rowan aching behind. That is also when a truth Shosh has been keeping from Rowan comes out. This fills Rowan with a longing for Shosh and she decides to start taking everything seriously so that she can be reunited with her again, and just when she’s about to step out of RR, things go way way differently than one was expecting them to go.

The book is very well paced with a comprehensive writing with the vocabulary going easy on the readers. The author has described the relationship of the two girls with such intricacy that anyone would fall in love with it. The characters are full formed and concrete and the story seemed to have absolutely no plot holes at all. The only thing that perhaps was a bit too much for me to take was Rowan being so selfish with Shosh in the start that she almost took it to the point that she was being selfish. I’m glad that she apologized for that later on in the story.

I would definitely recommend this book!!

This book displayed vulnerable and hard truths when it comes to dealing with mental health, the road to recovery, and how hard the effects of trauma can be. I definitely was not prepared to read a story like this due to personal reasons and so that affected my pacing when reading. Some moments I was stuck in the story and wanted to see what would come of things and others I had to put the book down for hours and reevaluate. I will one day revisit this story to see if I can take another shot at it when I am in a better place. I will check out more by the author in the future.

Trigger warnings: eating disorder, suicide, physical and mental pain, violence, sexual assault/rape, and other mental health struggles

I love everything everything about this book! I feel as though the themes are really meaningful and important. This book can be hard to read at times but it is still meaningful and important to read to learn about eating disorders.

Sometimes a friendship can only be for a specific time in your life, no matter how strong and deep it is. This was good, but could have been stronger. I enjoyed reading about these two girls who are each other's lifelines at an eating disorder recovery clinic. When we first meet the girls, Rowan is stubborn against getting better, not really having anything on the outside for motivations. Whereas Shoshana is continuing to get better and getting back to her life as a competitive cheerleader and star of a reality show. After both girls go through personal breakdowns, Rowan starts to turn her life around while Shoshana takes many steps backwards in her recovery. I wanted more of the nitty gritty of their disorders instead of superfluous excess. Rowan was a pretty hard character to root for and not in an endearing way.

Before We Were Blue was a beautiful told, poignant reminder of the struggles that young people go through. While the content of the novel was difficult from the get-go, Schwartz wrote this story beautifully and was able to capture the dynamic between Rowan and Shoshana in a way that the pain and struggles of these characters palatable. I really appreciated how the author was able to highlight the impact that ED has on the people struggling and the people who love those struggling. An excellent novel, and I’d definitely read more by this author!

• Top five reasons why you should read the book-

1. BWWB is a brilliantly written own voices debut by E.J Schwartz. Readers know how much own voices novel with representation is required in the world. Also it's based on a topic of Mental Health/Eating Disorder which a lot of people need to be made aware about.

2. Reading about Eating Disorder isn't a walk in the park, it makes you sad, it makes you question, it makes you think, and empathize with the protagonists.

3. The two protagonists in the novel are really well written, with many layers that we see come off as the chapters go by.

Both of them aren't the most likeable of characters, but they don't need to be, they are suffering mental trauma, and when you're going through hell in your life you build walls around you that are hard to break, you trust no one, you are labeled as 'difficult' by others. Especially Rowan Parish, chapters that are in her Pov were annoying in the beginning, but in the end you will empathize with her and want to read more about her.

The characterisation of Shoshana is done so well, she is a reality tv cheerleader and struggling with body image, who goes into an Eating disorder spiral. I truly felt for her in the book.

4. The Sapphic representation, the emotions at play made me like reading the book even more.

5. The sickfic involving two teenagers with complicated histories holding on to each other until the end.

The ending, the overall style of the author, the plot of the book made me admire and how she dealt with the themes of ED, mental health, therapy, love, trauma.

Thank you so much @tbrbeyondtours @ej.schwartz @netgalley for the arc and this wonderful opportunity.

Before We Were Blue is a sensitively written YA novel that I think, sadly, will strike a chord with many young people living in a world where image is everything. I am fortunate in that eating disorders have never been something that I have ever had any experience of, and Before We Were Blue was a real eye-opener for me. Written from the dual perspectives of Rowan and Shoshana, it explores how two very different girls find themselves in the same place and form an incredibly strong bond as they each battle their personal demons.

Rowan is a character that I struggled with initially. She struck me straightaway as dangerous, someone who would drag Shoshana down through fear of being left behind. Her obsession with Shoshana scared me a little and I was unsure where E.J. Schwartz was going to take this. However, as the story progressed, it became clear that Shoshana needed Rowan as much as Rowan needed her.

Before We Were Blue is not a comfortable read, and nor should it be. It tackles a number of sensitive issues, but does so with a sympathetic hand and without the inclusion of anything purely for the shock factor.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

It's not often that I read contemporary novels, but Before We were Blue definitely caught my eye. Told from the perspectives of Shoshana and Rowan, this novel was completely raw and vulnerable, and I could feel the author's passion on every page. Schwartz is an exceptional writer and captured the truth of trauma, loss, and struggle for each character. I found this book very educational, making me truly think of the struggles and hardships of ED, not just the individual, but the ripple effect it can have on everyone around them. Overall, I really liked this book.

I really appreciate the author letter in the beginning of the book explaining the trigger warning as well as her perspective of the eating disorders represented in the book. I also appreciated that while the main characters bonded over the shared experience of their eating disorders there were also some important differences between their eating disorders. The author showed even broader experiences through the other girls in the clinic. Overall I think it was a well done depiction of the spectrum of this mental illness and the anxiety and depression that can accompany it considering the scope of the story.

Additionally the characters were well written and I found their bond and the way it both helped and hindered their recovery, made the book impossible to put down. The plot was interesting and helped carry the story through the progression of time while still keeping the main focus on the relationship between the main characters. Overall I highly recommend this book.

Before We Were Blue is the story of young teens struggling with various eating disorders. It takes place primarily in their rehab center as the girls are working to improve their health. We follow two main characters, Shoshana and Rowan. Shoshana is a cheerleading star, in the rehab center after a complete breakdown during practice. Rowan has been in and out of various centers for years. The girls live very different lives, but come close together through the mutual existence of their eating disorders.

We start with Shosh's point of view. Chapters alternate between hers and Rowan's point of view. You feel very engaged in Shoshana's life, both in and outside of the rehab facility. Rowan's chapters, however, are written as if Rowan was talking to Shosh. Except it's mostly in Rowan's head, and there isn't a lot of dialogue for those chapters. Because of this, I feel like we got to experience so much more about Shoshana, and very little about Rowan. I definitely wish I got to be more intimate with Rowan's personal life. On the other hand, I wish I was more intimate with Shosh's thoughts the way we were with Rowan. Overall, the writing just felt very broken and inconsistent. Each point of view was lacking in the way the other point of view was stronger.

I really liked getting to hear about Shoshana's cheerleading life. Y'all who like reality tv, sports, and competition will definitely get a kick out of that part. It definitely led to interesting character dynamics throughout the story, and I loved how the author used this in the story.

I'm a big fan of dark humor. If you aren't, this book is not for you. Rowan especially makes very dark and twisted comments, asking all sorts of dangerous questions. It can definitely be upsetting if read by the wrong person. If you do love dark humor though, you'll probably get along with the writing just fine.

One of my favorite parts of this book was the LGBTQIA+ rep. One of the characters discovers they are asexual and it's beautiful to watch the development of accepting this.

I really enjoy the overall premise of this book, but I don't feel like it was the strongest book of this genre that I've read. It was very character-driven, but I didn't feel like there was enough development (positive or negative) to make the journey entirely worth it. If you like relationship based books, this may be something that interests you. If you like plot-driven books, maybe not so much.

Content warnings: eating disorders, suicide, depression, medical trauma

Overall, I give this book 3/5 stars.

Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for sending me an advanced e-copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

📖Review: Before We Were Blue📖
By: E J Schwartz
Genre: YA Contemporary
Rating: ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️•✨/ 5
Publishing date: 14th of September 2021
Provided by: NetGalley and Flux
[TW: eating disorders, eating disorder treatment centre, self-harm, suicide, depression, sexual assault and rape, catfishing, antisemitism]

🟢 What I liked:
↪️ Addictive to read: the pacing was quite quick, and I really struggled to put the book down because I needed to know what would happen next
↪️ Characters: each character was written really well, especially as the way that their pasts were slowly revealed definitely added to the addictiveness of the book

🔴 What I didn’t like:
↪️ Rowan’s perspective: this was told from the two main character’s perspectives and at the beginning, I really struggled to enjoy Rowan’s perspective (she is written to be unlikeable), however as her character grew, I enjoyed reading her thoughts much more

🟡 Summary:
↪️ This isn’t a book you “enjoy” as much because it is super heavy and depressing, but it was very important as it dealt with a number of important topics. I wouldn’t recommend if you are struggling with or triggered by eating disorders are it does go into this topic more deeply

Portraying eating disorders with sensitivity and truthfulness, this is the story of Shoshana and Rowan who become friends in a treatment center. Shoshanna, a cheerleader in a reality show is there for almost starving herself to death, while Rowan for chewing and spitting, something she learned from her mother. Rowan also has a secret. On their way to recovery, to become Blue which means more freedom, they become close maybe too close, endangering their path to healing. A choice may have to be made between each other or their recovery.

Brutally honest, in your face in a good way narrative (especially Rowan's POV). Definitely not a light or easy read with its intense emotions. You feel like you're inside these girls' brains. Little thoughts that pop into their heads map out their personality. Their POVs present as running commentaries of their lives at the treatment center. The antithesis between the 2 girls, rainbows-and-unicorns Shoshanna and hanging-on-by-a-thread Rowan as the book calls them, reminds us that people are not just one thing, but so much more than they show others.

E.J.Schwartz has an intuitive way of portraying what her characters are feeling. There's a bit of quirk in the way the protagonists describe things. Though the spotlight is directed towards the complications of human relationships and the difference between a supporting and a toxic one.

This book took its time to develop (in some parts maybe too much time) and then it seems to suddenly end. I think it either needed to be longer or some parts would benefit from stricter editing. But I really did like that the story did not go the expected route in its conclusion.

Thought-provoking, with so many quotable truths and ideas, I believe this story will get under your skin in a good way.

Rough and irritable, Before We Were Blue is a humbling read, reminding readers of the delicate balance of our lives. What are our breaking points? What lengths would we go to establish some control over our lives?

When I first started reading this book, I almost couldn't keep going. The depictions of these flawed girls with their eating disorders was almost too much for me. Then I got to know Rowan and Shoshana, started to understand where they were coming from. I started to hear their trauma and better understand their behaviors. I started to see myself in some of their patterns, my students in others, until I was rooting for them and their recovery, their relationships, their successes.

They are often irritating, but with insight into their thoughts and feelings, Rowan and Shoshana feel a little less irritating and a little more lost. This must have been a hard book to write, and it's certainly a hard book to read, but I believe it holds an important place in young adult literature, offering hope where there often is none, and shedding light for the average person on the thought patterns involved in eating disorders.

Thanks to NetGalley for the eARC. The opinions expressed herein are mine alone and may not reflect the views of the author, publisher, or distributor.

In the spirit of Laurie Halse Andersen's "Wintergirls," BEFORE WE WERE BLUE by E.J. Schwartz follows Shoshana and Rowan at Recovery and Relief, a treatment center for girls with ED. Stories like this always kill me, but I can't stay away from them. I think a large part of the draw is the bodybuilder-sized amount of hope I have in cases of ED, and the other chunk is being friends with people who have made that recovery journey and walk the hard road every day.

Parents who encourage this attitude of "you're not thin enough" or "you're not beautiful and no one wants you if you eat too much" are just THE WORST possible type of person. Poor Rowan didn't know if she was coming or going, and Shoshana? Ugh, the sweetheart, I wish I could have just given her a hug.

Sometimes the prose took a choppy turn, but I'm betting that's mostly in part to this being a debut. As a debut, though, it's strong and hints toward a good road ahead for Schwartz. Who knows? She could be something like the next Laurie Halse Andersen. A solid three stars!

Goodread's Review live - 8th September.

CW: Eating disorders, eating disorder treatment centre, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, suicide, sexual abuse, catfishing, online bullying and parental neglect.

Thank you to NetGalley and publishers for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

E J Schwartz has provided a complex narrative about 2 opposite-attract girls in an eating disorder treatment centre. The dual perspective narrative told in 1st person for Shoshana and 2nd person for Rowan, specifically addressed to Shoshana, was excellently crafted in putting us in the minds of each girl, and for Rowan's personality to present first in a rather unsettling way; a reflection of her character and growth.

Shosh and Rowan meet at this facility and outside of the centre they would have never known each other. Shosh is your celebrity cheerleader that reminded me of the show Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Rowan is from a negligent household and just trying to survive. One point I feel Schwartz is trying to make is that anyone can be affected by eating disorders, whether it's learnt from family or because of your job/life/aspirations or just *because*. The representation of spectrums (not just EDs) explored felt true to life. Their experience with EDs is not glamorized and there were important quotes readers may need to hear.

Overall, I think it is an important read and hopefully individuals who need this book find it at the right time for them. It’s not an easy read, and not meant to be. This book is not meant to have you comfortable whilst reading. It is designed to get you thinking, engaged and pondering what does it mean to heal? Journeys aren’t always linear and each individual finds their own navigation, whether that be Rowan’s, Shosh’s or Alyssa’s.

I have never suffered from an eating-disorder so I can not comment on the accuracy/portrayal but my reading experience felt these girls were seen. I am not sure in relation to the authors’ own experiences but the author’s note feels confident in addressing this topic with care. Also, there are anti-Semantic comments, however, the author is Jewish. I am not Jewish and don’t feel like it’s my place to comment, just raise awareness.

As someone who struggled with eating disorder/body image issues growing up, this book felt very relatable and vulnerable.

So going into this, I liked Shoshana almost immediately. I really liked reading from her point of view, and I was able to sympathize with her. Her relationship with her family was not the best, neither was her relationship with her cheer team; I just couldn’t help but feel bad for her.

Rowan was not an easy character to like. I could not understand why Shoshana was friends with her out of everyone at RR (the treatment centre)at the beginning. It took me a while to understand their friendship.

As the story progressed, I understood why Shoshana latched on to Rowan at RR. She was lonely, and Rowan was her first true friend – even if their friendship was quite toxic. Rowan also became a bit likeable further into the story. When her backstory was finally unfolded, it was easier to understand her motives and why she acted the way she did.

what I liked:

I really appreciated the writing style. The pacing was good; it did slow down at times, but overall the book was well written.

Rowan’s chapters were written like letters to Shoshana. It was very unique. I’ve never read a book written like that before. Her chapters felt special and it was nice getting into her head.

“I think about that a lot. About you a lot. I didn’t always treat you the best. More than that, I used you, in the way you always feared.”

It was also nice seeing Rowan’s character become a better version of herself who could accept her flaws.

what I didn’t like:

As much I liked seeing Rowan get better, her character development was unbelievable to me. It was like one minute she was this spiteful, abrasive girl then after one meltdown she did a complete 360 on us.

final thoughts:

Overall I rated this book a 3/5 because this was a very hard story to read. I also wish Shoshana’s story was wrapped up properly like Rowan’s was. The ending was still pretty good.

I think it’s important to check all the trigger warnings before going into this, and maybe read this while in the right headspace.

This was very Swann Street meets Netflix series “Cheer”. I felt like it was dark without being absolutely the darkest thing ever.