Cover Image: The Science of Being Angry

The Science of Being Angry

Pub Date:   |   Archive Date:

Member Reviews

This is a lovely story that gets at the heart of real fears and hurdles that kids struggle with every day.

Was this review helpful?

Thank you to Algonquin Young Readers, for this free review copy.

Middle grade reads are some of my absolute favorites, and I have read so many good ones, these past few months. When this copy landed in my hand, it sounded good. But instead, it was fantastic. Some parts had me bawling my eyes out, and some parts had my heart hurting so much, from all the love. As a parent, I truly loved it, and it will stay on my daughters shelf, for when she is older.

Eleven-year-old Joey is angry. All the time. At school. At home. At her friends. At her moms. She is always mad, and truly has no clue why. She loses her temper a lot, and that temper even makes her family lose their home.

One day in science class, she is assigned a new product all about genetics. Could this be what helps her find who she is? Did she inherit something from her donor that her moms chose? Should she look for him and try to learn more?

From start to finish, I ADORED this book. Joey truly wants to do better, but she is so young and just doesn’t understand why she is the way she is. She has many brothers who love her, and two fantastic moms. But all she does is hurt them. This book is the most heartwarming story about what truly makes a family, and what makes us all who we are. The Science of Being Angry comes out May 10th, 2022. Purchase it. Borrow it from your library. Read it and truly enjoy it. This will remain one of my favorite middle grade books, of 2022. It will forever have a spot on my shelf.

Thank you again to the publisher and author, for this free review copy.

Was this review helpful?

This is one of those books where you ache for the protagonist through the whole book. Joey is in pain, mental pain. She wants to scream all the time, and she lashes out at others that love her. Her two moms don't know what is wrong, and don't know how to help her.

Her class is doing a section on genetics, and she wonders where all this anger is coming from. Is it nature or nurture? Did it come from her mom, or from her donor. If it is from her donor, does he know how to control his rage?

Joey doesn't want to be this way, so very angry at the world, but she doesn't know how to solve it, and keeps getting in worse and worse trouble.

There were times I was crying. The author knows how to tear our heart to shreds.

Not an easy book to read, but a good book, because it explores that anger.

<em>Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.</em>

Was this review helpful?

I have liked every book by Nicole Melleby so far. She's definitely an author that I will continue to read. I usually end up crying in her books. I came close this time, but I held it back.

Joey is a triplet born using a donor. Mama and Mom have raised them and she usually doesn't think about who the donor was. But Joey has a lot of issues controlling her anger. She doesn't know what causes her to lash out and it's getting worse. She gets them kicked out of their apartment after punching a security guard. She throws things. She wants to scream and no one understands. She even stopped talking to her best friend, Layla. Not only did Joey not want to hurt her, but she also started liking her as more than a friend. When their science class does a section on genetics, Joey is paired up with Layla who researches family trees with her mom. Joey asks Layla for help finding her donor. She doesn't want a relationship with him. She just wants to ask if he gets really angry and see if he can help her stop. No one else in her family gets this angry. Joey is very closed off because of it and most kids don't even talk to her. She has outbursts all the time. The science experiment was to see if nature or nurture determines who you are more than the other. A lot of feelings come out that Joey didn't' even realize she had. She hurts both Mom and Mama, but they want to do what they can to help her.

This wasn't my favorite Nicole Melleby book, but I still really liked it. She does such a great job with middle grade depression, anxiety, and sexual orientation. These things are so important for kids that age.

I gave this book 4 stars.

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my earc.

Was this review helpful?

I absolutely adore this book! Nicole Melleby has a true gift for writing strong emotions and how they can cause shame, which can in turn become self-loathing and self-isolation. While Joey loses control of her emotions and acts erratically, I always understood where she is coming from (with maybe the exception of the inciting incident at the apartment pool) and I definitely felt indignance of her behalf when her peers were allowed to act out while she was scolded for every misstep. Joey feels such responsibility for her surroundings (for example, Joey feels deep shame that she caused her older brother to move out, and worries that other family members might leave her as well). This sense of responsibility is a common thread through Melleby’s work, and will feel very real and relatable for lots of kids. I appreciate that Joey has a complicated blended family dynamic and that it’s not glossed over as a non-issue—Joey is deeply loved, but she still struggles with where she fits into her family, and that’s okay. This book was beautiful, heartbreaking, heartwarming, and I found myself gasping at certain points towards the end. I'm looking forward to being able to recommend this book to library patrons!

Was this review helpful?

Joey is always angry, and her anger makes her act out in erratic ways, including yelling, hitting, and throwing things. Joey is only eleven, and her behavior is scaring her family, friends, and teachers. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but it’s like her body acts before she has a chance to stop it. Her siblings aren’t like this, and neither are her moms. Maybe, Joey thinks, she could figure out what makes her so angry if she could find out who her biological father is - someone chosen by her moms to be a donor but who she knows nothing about. If he’s angry all the time, maybe she can finally know what’s wrong with her.

This book was absolutely heartbreaking while also being hopeful. Joey desperately wants to stop being angry all the time, and she is aware that it is affecting the way the people around her view her. Her peers view her as a bully and don’t want to be friends with her. She’s heard her parents talk about being scared of her and she’s convinced it’s her fault that her older brother has decided to live with his dad. Ultimately, she’s sure, everyone will decide to leave her if she can’t fix what’s wrong with her. Joey clearly isn’t getting the support she needs; even though her moms love her and are trying to help the best they can, they just don’t know what to do.

I really appreciated how the author showed the difference between Joey and Eli, the boy who bullies her. Joey is seen as a bully because of the way she acts, but the reader knows that she isn’t intentionally cruel. When someone starts bullying her, Joey feels like she can’t say anything - after all, hasn’t she done the same thing? Eli’s actions feel different than Joey’s - he is shown to be planning ways to humiliate and hurt her and appears to take joy in it. Of course, we can’t get into Eli’s mind, and there may be something complex happening that the reader can’t see. But it’s a clear difference between Joey, who tries to remove herself from situations to avoid causing harm and who we see feel remorse after doing something “wrong,” and Eli, who laughs about it and continues to go after her. There are some blurry lines here - life isn’t clean, and some of Joey’s actions are wrong - but the differences are still evident. I also appreciated that the book and characters were clear in saying that what Eli is doing is bullying, and just because Joey has caused harm in the past doesn’t mean that she deserves what he’s doing or can’t speak out about it.

This book reminded me a lot of Fifty-Four Things Wrong with Gwendolyn Rogers, another book about a girl trying to figure out why she can’t stop herself from acting out and making “bad” choices, and which I also found really moving. Anyone who liked Fifty-Four Things would probably appreciate The Science of Being Angry as well, and vice versa; they were similar in a lot of ways but different enough to absolutely be unique stories which are both worth the time to read. I think kids would benefit a lot from reading this book whether they have experienced some of what Joey is going through or not; inevitably, they’ll at some point interact with a peer who acts in ways they don’t understand, and this may help. Parents, especially those with children who have difficulty managing their anger, may also find something helpful in this story.

[light spoilers] This might not be the book for someone who likes everything to wrap up nicely. A lot is left open or unanswered, and it can be a little messy at times. I personally thought that worked really well in this case and it felt intentional, but I could see why someone might dislike that or think it wasn’t cleanly written.

Overall, I think this book is excellent and will speak to a lot of readers. It was well written and I couldn’t put it down, and I think a lot of kids will feel the same way.

Was this review helpful?

BOOK REVIEW: The Science of Being Angry is another wonderful book from the wonderful Nicole Melleby. I really liked this novel and how it discussed anger & the impact of anger. Mental health plays a big part in many of Melleby’s novels and it does here as well. I liked the lessons regarding emotions & how even if we don’t mean to do something wrong, that doesn’t mean our actions can’t hurt others and also that no one deserves to be bullied. The book also has a family which includes our main character named Joey, her brothers, and her moms. I loved the family dynamic in the novel and I think other readers will as well. Finally, the connections to genetics and what makes you connected to your family both biologically and generally speaking is something I really liked about this story. It reminds us that families don’t have to have the same genes to be family. Family is about many things including love and support, which I feel is represented in this story. The Science of Being Angry is a terrific middle grade novel with great lessons, relatable characters, and discussions about our emotions. If any of this sounds like your kind of novel, then I definitely suggest picking up this book.

Was this review helpful?

I do not know how to put into words how much this book means, but it hits me so hard in the feelings.

I’ve been obsessed with Melleby’s books since I read In the Role of Brie Hutchens… and every time I fall more in love with her stories and characters. The Science of Being Angry is no different, and especially hits me as a child who struggled with anger and lashing out when the feelings got bigger than could be contained. Joey is such a relatable character on that front, even as her experiences as a triplet, as the daughter of two moms, as a product of in vitro fertilization don’t line up with my own experiences.

I love Joey’s journey of figuring herself out, or at least working towards new understanding of herself, the complexities of her interpersonal relationships, with her triplets, with her moms, with her best friend/crush Layla, with her brother Benny, and seeing her working on those relationships. Joey often feels wrong and knows she’s been mean, and often feels like she just gets angrier and angrier, but at the end of the day, hurting those she loves is the very last thing she wants to do. And seeing a preteen navigating those feelings, struggling with words and self-expression, hits me so hard. And I also love and appreciate that there isn’t an answer in the end for why Joey is so angry all the time, just the hope and promise of working on that anger and learning new coping strategies so she can handle the anger in a healthier way.

I adored this book, am so glad it exists, and cannot wait to see what Melleby will write next. I love how much this book made me cry, and also how much healing and hope it offers in putting in the work to change harmful behaviors and the reassurances of the love of Joey’s family. Learning that her mom will never leave her, even if they don’t share DNA, and navigating who she is without knowing where half her DNA comes from is such a powerful, emotional story. I hope it finds many readers who are also able to feel seen and loved and like being angry doesn’t make them a monster or needlessly cruel, even (or especially) when that anger so often feels out of control until the pressure is released.

[review will be posted to CannonballReads May 14, 2022]

Was this review helpful?

This read like an issue book that couldn't decide its issue. Facets of it were well done. Being a child conceived through IVF with the sperm donor being anonymous, Joey's anxiety and discomfort with the genetics class project rang true. Joey is a triplet with identical twin brother birth mates, an older half-brother, and two moms. One of her mom's has an ex-husband who is the father of her older brother and is part of the extended family. Joey's inability to control her anger leads to her losing friends, being suspended from school, and feeling like she doesn't belong, even in her family. Her underlying questions of her sexual identity causes problems in all these areas as well. Hence, therapy for her and her moms. There is lots going on and as with too many stories, lack of focus takes away from the quality of the story.

Was this review helpful?

I'm super glad this book exists, and its focus on anger and negative emotions/behavior seems SO important in an age of toxic positivity and sweeping some types of mental health/illness under the rug. I think this book will be great for middle schoolers or even younger readers who might be struggling with these issues, or have friends/family who do.

Was this review helpful?

Joey has always been impulsive, but when a bad idea and an unthinking reaction get her family kicked out of their apartment complex, Joey's anger-management gets a lot more scrutiny than usual. It's not that Joey means to hurt people, she just can't control herself. When a genetics unit comes up in science class, Joey realizes that perhaps part of her personality came from the DNA of the anonymous donor that one of her moms doesn't like talking about. If Joey can figure out the root of her anger issues, maybe she can learn to control them before she hurts anyone else.

I loved so many things about this book. Joey is really quite the character, and I appreciated the way we get to feel what she's feeling, from those moments she just needs to explode to the helplessness and low self-esteem that come from being bullied, to the guilt after an explosion, to the ticklings of uncertainty as she realizes she might not be straight. It's a very character-centric story, and I'm glad Nicole Melleby pushed into it and didn't just stop at that last family therapy session. It was also cool to see excellent scientific facts about genetics, as well as child-appropriate information about how IV fertilization occurs. I particularly liked exploring the relationship between Joey and her two moms, each of which are beautifully crafted and deep. I wasn't as sold on some of the other characters in the book. Thomas in particular is a bit shallow, and I was disappointed not to learn more about Benny, who is important to the story, but I couldn't initially figure out why. I also struggled with the way Joey explained her home and family situation. It's unusual, but that doesn't mean it should be hard to explain.

Overall, I found this book hard to put down. I loved being able to immerse myself in the story and feel what Joey is feeling (even if a lot of her feelings are unpleasant in themselves). Fans of The Science of Breakable Things and the Unforgettable Guinivere St Claire will undoubtedly love this book too. It deals with some hard topics, but it never feels patronizing or shallow.

Was this review helpful?

The Science of Being Angry is the first book I’ve read by Nicole Mellery and is different to any of the books I have read before. In this world of such diversity and blended families, it was so great to read a story which represented them and will not only be lovely for children to read, who can relate to it, but also an eye-opener for children who don’t have any experience of these families.
The story revolves around Joey, a girl who lives with her mums and brothers. She often finds herself getting angry and starts to question why this happens and if she hasn’t inherited this from her mum, then who has she inherited it from? There are also other things Joey has to deal with throughout the story, which have an effect on her emotions. Although I felt these weren’t necessarily needed, they didn’t detract from the overall theme and I found myself itching to read the book so I could find out what would happen.
I will certainly be recommending this book to the children in my class in order for them get a better view of the world around them and then people in it.

Was this review helpful?

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for the e-ARC of this book. I really enjoyed this book. It does a great job giving us a window into the minds of students who struggle with anger. All too often, we assume it's a lack of willingness to change, and neglect to see the frustration the kids themselves feel. It also does a nice job showing why we so often feel the need to know where we came from.

Was this review helpful?

An excellent middle grade novel that deals with explosive, uncontrolled anger. Eleven-year-old Joey is 1/3 of a triplet set and while she and her brothers share many things in common with each other, their biological mother, their other mother, and their older brother (their other mother's son), only Joey seems to struggle with controlling her anger. A classroom assignment on genetics makes Joey wonder if perhaps the sperm donor used by her mothers might be the source of her anger and, better still, may know how to stop it. Joey's search for answers twines with Joey's increasingly unstable behavior and her struggles to cope with the fallout from that behavior. The central question of the novel focuses on what defines a family, other topics raised include friendships, bullying, LQBTQIA2S themes, an belonging. Bring tissues.

Was this review helpful?

Joey is one of three triplets and she has two moms. Joey also has major anger issues. She uses her fists and can’t control her temper. Mom always seems to be mad at Joey and Benny, a half brother,suggests hockey to get some aggression out. In school, their science teacher assigns a project on genetics to try and wants the class to figure out if traits are inherited or a result of environmental interactions. Joey thinks this project will help her figure out her DNA and what makes her her and maybe explain her anger. As Joey’s anger continues, her family suggests family therapy so it can give her some coping strategies because no one has figured out the root of the problem, but they know they will all keep trying and feel hopeful.

Was this review helpful?