Whenever I see a bunch of reviews about how unique and different a story is - I get intrigued and need to try it for myself. At the start, I was drawn into this one - we join mid-filming of a show called The Catch - similar to The Bachelor. The final 4 women have been brought to a remote location for filming. We also learn that 10 years ago some women disappeared from the same island and were never found.

However, despite that intriguing premise - this lost me around halfway through. I can’t say much without giving away spoilers. A lot happens in the second half but I didn’t really find myself caring about any of it. I wasn’t feeling attached to anyone. I just felt sort of meh about it all. This one was a miss for me.

Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the advance reading copy.

I loved it. Omg did I love it.

So I normally loathe Bachelor type setups in books, truly the bane of my existence. So the fact that I loved this book w a somewhat similar Bachelorette setup, speaks VOLUMES.

It was creepy and gory and funny and just so unhinged, I couldn’t look the other way, nor did I want to.

Don’t be fooled by the cover folks! Also don’t be fooled by its length. This book delivers in FULL.

Weird and wonderful twist on a creepy forest horror trope. Loved the deconstruction of Instagram culture and dating shows.

What a wildly weird and entertaining book.
Part behind the scenes of The Bachelor and part missing girls/wilderness queer slasher/ horror story, I can honestly say I’ve never read anything quite like it before.

Like two books mashed together but in a fun and shocking way. Although I have to say, Patricia most definitely did not want to cuddle.

If you are looking for something different and unique and fun and also horrifically violent. This is your book!!

i wanted to love this but i'm not sure it really came together, also i thought that it would be way more queer

Reality TV shows are fascinating to me. On the one hand, I hate them because they're hardly ever really real or good. On the other hand, they're just delightful sometimes, aren't they? So when I saw Patricia Wants to Cuddle and its hilarious blurb I knew that I was in for a rollicking time. Thanks to Zando Projects and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

As a Dutch person I need to start any rant about reality television with an apology because it was actually a Dutch television company that came up with Big Brother. In their defense, the first season was meant to actually be insightful. But this quickly turned into the circus it is now. So, mea culpa. It remains true, however, that reality television is ubiquitous right now and that much of it is not great, or even good. Much of it depends on negative stereotypes of women, POC, and queer people, even if the shows themselves pretend to go "woke". But I nonetheless also feel the pull of it, the thrill of peeking into someone else's life and getting to judge them from a distance. But there are real people involved, with real feelings, and while we may think of it as fake, for some of them it is their life and livelihood on the line. Enter Patricia Wants to Cuddle, which at once satirises the entire genre while also being a heartfelt investigation of womanhood and self-actualisation.

While Patricia is central to the blurb, she is a largely peripheral figure for much of Patricia Wants to Cuddle. Central are the four women semi-finalists of "The Catch", and the female producer, each hoping to get something worthwhile out of this season. For some, it actually is love. For others it is money, recognition, a chance at proving themselves. And so they find themselves on Otters Island which, while beautiful, is also remote and a little odd. This island will be where secrets are revealed, where some women will finally find themselves, and where Patricia simply wants to cuddle. While much of Patricia Wants to Cuddle is hilarious and strongly aimed at taking the piss out of reality television, it is also a novel about self-discovery. Interspersed in the plot are letters from two women deeply in love in a town where this is not allowed. It adds a sense of realism, shows that love is something much weightier than "The Catch" pretends it to be. Love is not always easy, it is not a competition, it can be life and death. As Patricia comes to a conclusion, the overwhelming message that remains is that the most important thing is to live a life in which you can be yourself. The novel impresses upon the reader, despite all the fun along the way, that you are allowed to be, that you deserve a place where you are home and safe, and that sometimes this requires a mysterious specter.

This is my first book by Samantha Allen but, as far as I can see these themes, of finding a home and living queer and free, run throughout her writing. Billed as a horror comedy, Patricia Wants to Cuddle plays with these themes as well in a way that is at once irreverent and affirming. It tiptoes on the fine line between the two and for some readers it may lean to for one way or the other. The novel is told from different perspectives, interspersed with letters and blog posts and internet threads about the show. Each adds something in their own way, even if not every perspective felt equally real to me. What grounds the novel for me is the story of one of the contestants, Renee. Her heart isn't in the competition because she is still figuring out what her heart wants. She is also dealing with being the only Black woman to have ever made it this far in the show and she really doesn't know if that is a good thing or not. She feels aimless and lost, until she gets to Otters Island and finds out there could be a different way to live. While her choices may feel extreme to some, her desire for a place to rest and just be struck a chord. I can't wait to read more by Samantha Allen!

Patricia Wants to Cuddle is absurd in all the best ways. You may think you know where it is going, but Allen will surprise you at every corner.

Super excited to read this, but the digital ARC formatting is a bit of a mess (random line breaks, no space between things. Going to see if I can get a copy in another format because I just can't properly read and enjoy with it like this.

Submitting a review now because I don't think messy ARCs should end up penalizing my feedback ratio here on NetGalley. <3

Viciously funny indeed, this is a darkly funny and edgy book. Patricia Wants to Cuddle won't be for all readers but for horror fans/final girl trope lovers, readers who don't mind a social satire skewering of reality/dating TV shows, and for anyone who sees "lesbian sasquatch' and doesn't run away.... this is for you. It's hard to summarize much more than that, if this sounds good to you then go for it. It does move a bit more into horror/chaos violence at later points in the story and that didn't quite work for me but that is me as a mood reader and some recent world events at the time of my reading this, not a comment on the quality of the narrative, the creativity of Samantha Allen's voice and writing. (I point this out though in case that helps anyone process when to read this!)

Thank you to Zando publications for the ebook copy, I appreciate the chance to read and talk about a truly unique and unexpected read. Samantha Allen is a writer now 100% on my radar and I can't wait to read more. Thank you for trusting me with such a wildly entertaining and creative plot.

This was kind of a weird book. I usually like weird but not this time. It as well written just not really all the believable at times.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an electronic copy to read in exchange for an honest review.

I don't even know how I would categorize this book - fiction with some mystery? It was epic - take Devolution by Max Brooks and add in a behind the scenes dating show and there you have it. This will definitely be in the top 10 books of the year for me; maybe even top 5.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle begins with 4 final contestants of a Bachelor type reality TV show, their love interest, host and staff arriving at a sleepy island in the Pacific Northwest. Each of the women came on the show for her own reasons and each of them wants to win, but when strange things start happening in the night, there can only be last one standing… literally.

This book is a truly wild ride! It’s difficult to explain it without giving too much away but I can say it It mixes elements that I had no idea I wanted to see together before - dating reality TV shows, slasher horror, and dark comedy, with a big splash of queerness and a sprinkle of genuine affection. Who knew that celebrities and cryptids go hand in hand? This was a quick, easy read that hooked me from the first page and I simply loved how funny it was! It was also a bit gore-y, but if you can handle it, you’re going to be very entertained. I was also impressed by how Allen balanced the humor with a very moving, even heartbreaking storyline. The only reason I can’t give this book full 5 stars is because I wish more of my questions were answered by the last page.

TLDR: Patricia Wants to Cuddle is a fun, campy novel that would be a perfect beach read for fans of wacky horror stories. Highly recommend!

This was a wild ride and entertaining as hell. It is satire on shows like The Bachelor, but then you add in Sasquatch, horror, and gore. You get multiple POVs of the four contestants and the shows producer. Despite some of it dark content and graphic descriptions, it was a fun and enjoyable read.

Thank you Zando Projects and NetGalley for this arc in exchange for my honest review!

3.75ish (?) stars

This one was wild. It definitely left me in a “what the heck did I just read?!” state, to a certain extent. I think I’m still processing some of it. It was amusing and entertaining for sure; I laughed out loud more than once. It also dealt with some real issues but in a fairly light-hearted way. I don’t think I loved it quite as much as some did, to be honest, but I’ll probably still be inclined to check out whatever the author writes next.

I am so glad this book is in my life. My goodness. With just the right amount of humor, satire, and a little dark, this book was just a good time. It gave me similar vibes to Quan Barry's We Ride Upon Sticks.

Funny, gruesome, and dark, the only thing that stopped me from reading this in one go was having to go to work!

I really enjoyed this book about a Bachelor-esque tv show crew filming their penultimate episode on a remote island. The contestants that we follow in flashes are all distinct, and I would've liked getting to know them better if it wouldn't have axed the fast pace of this book.

A campy, slasher sapphic horror novel that I thought was perfect for a hot summer evening on the porch. Fully recommended to anyone wanting a quick popcorn horror experience

An excellent fiction debut from the author of Real Queer America. Weird, fun, and fresh, Patricia Wants to Cuddle has a lot to say about queerness, community, celebrity, and cryptids. This book is an excellent example of what queer monster fiction should look like. Highly recommend.

“‘I saw something here that made me realize that beauty - true beauty - exists on a plane apart from life and death or anything else I used to see as important. That kind of beauty is here on Otter’s island. I wish you could have see her, too.’” A fun, campy slasher fic. This book has such an off-the-wall concept of what if The Bachelor ran into a lady Sasquatch. It does work however, with clever execution and witty writing. The cycling of perspectives works well to flesh out the characters beyond the 1 dimensional characters you would see on tv to the real life concerns of your identity being exploited for television. However, the letters between Kathy and Maggie are so sweet and touching and a beautiful example of sapphic love. Thank you to Zando Projects and NetGallet for the ARC.

I'm of two minds on this one - the initial setup of everything is delightful, and there's some real fun criticism of the character types that appear on _The Batchelor_/its production crew that's fun to sit with. And yet, the part of the plot that picks up steam in part 3 of the book immediately runs off the rails in a way that got less fun to read as the book careened towards the end, and I could see exactly where it was about to land.

This is a fairly short book, and there are a few plot threads I could see getting some expansion so that all the events that take place once "Patricia" really shows up don't feel completely out of nowhere and feel real. I spent most of part 3 trying to figure out if what was happening was Actually Happening or More Of A Scooby-Doo Thing. Either would have been fine, but it took a little too long for the book to confirm that, and once it did, I was kind of icked out by the continuing series of events that ensued. YMMV!

What a wonderfully weird novel. When this landed in my inbox from the publisher I first thought WTF is that because the cover art screams pulp fiction and as much as I find those hilarious I'm not usually drawn to them. However, I'd decided I wanted to expand my LGBT novel repertoire, and knowing this featured lesbian/bisexual female protagonists I said sure why not.*

Billed as a satire of The Bachelor, Patricia Wants to Cuddle takes place in the final two weeks of The Catch's season with four female finalists and the catch going to the San Juan islands off the coast of Washington state. While it is that, it's also a final girl thriller novel with murder and mystery and urban legends aplenty to keep the reader engaged.

The book was a little bit of a struggle to get into, but I'm 80% certain it was the result of the bad formatting from my NetGalley download (it's amazing how much formatting matters). I couldn't see when the next section was (there were only three I think) and every subheading was messed up making the first sentence hard to read until I figured out the pattern.

Aside from that, all of the characters are written to be at the very least annoying AF, and for the most part despicable. They're all on the show for a reason whether it's to make money like the catch or to increase their followers on Glamstapix (Instagram knockoff) or to spread the word (yeah there's a religious nut). Renee and Mike are the two exceptions to this. Renee because she's just going through the motions and riding the wave with no real direction and Mike because he was probably the purest and most genuine person AND because he was the only one actually murdered.

The other character you're supposed to identify with and feel empathy toward is Patricia. Allen did a great job of writing up the horror and comedy aspects, but the thrilling and terrifying moments when we start to interact with Patricia were probably the most well written. From the almost car crash to the figure in the woods or even the last few scenes they were all so eerie and creepy until Maggie explains almost everything and Renee figures it out.

I wish there was a bit of explanation about who the people were with Maggie or a bit of focus on the group protecting Patricia, but leaving us in the dark does make it seem that little bit more this-could-be-real, as all sasquatch legends are. The jump forward at the end of the novel (the epilogue, if you will even though it wasn't labeled that way) was a nice little addition and made me laugh seeing it all being set up again.

Allen had a distinct voice and did a great job writing multiple characters from the ditzy yet business savvy to the cunning and sexual to the reformed religious southern belle, but she really excelled with the nefarious-seemingly-bored with the world group that protects Patricia even though we spend the least time with them.

Recommendation: This was a fascinatingly weird read that once I got into kept me engaged. It was a final girl murder thriller meets an urban legend meets a pop culture satire that somehow worked and had quite a lot of comedy and humor infused. Allen did a great job weaving all the stories together even if as I finished the book I just wanted more details about why they were doing what they were doing, how Patricia got there, and how they successfully kept law enforcement from finding out what was really going on. I'm not sure I'll seek out Allen in the future, but I'm glad I branched out.

*I received a copy of Patricia Wants to Cuddle via NetGalley in return for my honest opinion. No goods or money were exchanged.

This book was a shocking surprise. It was just what I expected from the synopsis, but with a darker twist. I’m not sure exactly how I feel. It was definitely fresh and different from many books. The main characters were extremely unlikable, just like the author intended and made me not sympathize with them.