This book was fun! I enjoyed the way it poked fun at The Bachelor-type shows. I did find it hard to keep the four contestants straight in my head, though it didn't really matter too much.

Loved this completely banana pants novel about a reality show and a lesbian Bigfoot. So much awesomeness in this novel which can be ready in a single afternoon.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle is a wild ride in every sense of the word, and the book is all the better for it. I was hooked from the start just from the premise (and the cover!), and the story held my attention the entire time. I forced myself to stop halfway through because otherwise I absolutely would have finished it in one sitting.

In my opinion, this book is the perfect combination of horror and comedy (with more than a healthy dose of social commentary and a takedown of the heteronormative culture that gave us The Bachelor). Although many of the characters are stereotypical for the genre/setting, you do come to care about them; spoilers ahead: obviously, as this is a horror, not everyone makes it out alive, and despite the victims many many faults, it still hurt to see them meet their demise. Samantha Allen has created a loveable cast of characters and I only wish we got to spend more time with them.

Spoilers ahead: my one complaint was that the ending felt a bit rushed. It wrapped up way too quickly for my liking and I wish we had gotten to learn more about Patricia and the women who protect and serve her. There were a lot of interesting subplots that never felt fully realized, and I wish they had been given more time and energy.

Ultimately, Patricia Wants to Cuddle is a darkly funny and deeply engaging read. I cannot wait until it’s released so that I can force all of my friends to read it. This is the lesbian horror comedy that the world needs. 4.5/5 stars.

This was a book that I went back and forth on. It was the classic he loves me, he loves me not scenario. But this time it was all about do I read or don't I read. We can all see what my decision was and I don't regret a thing.

What really stood out to me was the cover. I mean, look at it. It screams read me. Plus it possibly has one of the best book covers of the year. What kind of held me back was the Bachelor-esque show that takes place in this book. I'm not a big fan of those types of shows and it hovered over my head like a dark cloud as I was making my final decision. I finally didn't let that stop me from having a good time.

This book was not what I was expecting at all and it was fantastic. Perhaps one of the most eccentric books that I have ever read. Parts were really funny and bizarre. And when I say bizarre, I mean way off in left field bizarre. Bizarre in a way where I loved it the more I thought about it. Even the dating show parts were hilarious. Every damn thing about this was pure love insanity. Totally worth the read.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle was an amazingly fun read. This is one that I'm still thinking about even after I finished it and I love it more with each passing day. This book is one you don't want to pass up on. You'll regret it if you do.

Won't someone just hug Patricia!?

✏️𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗖𝘂𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝘆 𝗦𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗵𝗮 𝗘𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻
The Bachelor meets UnReal meets Survivor meets Yellowjackets but make it bonkers - in the best way.
😳 The best way for me to sum up this book is that it's the perfect popcorn read. 🍿 It's the strangest book I've read this year and I've read a lot of books!
Releasing next month, 𝗣𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗖𝘂𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 is probably going to be my go to summer rec for those who needs a lil campy satire in their lives. It's queer, it's dark, it's gory, it's weird and you can read the whole thing in one sitting.

Patricia is a Sasquash/big foot/lady ape and apparently she wants a cuddle. That's all you get from the cover and that's all I can say.

There's no way for me to explain this book without giving anything away. So I hope I've made you all curious enough to pick this insane little book up this summer.

Thank you @netgalley and @zando for the pre released e-copy.

4.5 stars rounded up.

I feel like the adjective I've seen most in reviews for this book is "bonkers" and I can't think of a more perfect descriptor. This book is absolutely bonkers in the best way - compulsively readable, hilariously funny, and so strange that you can't help but smile. I'm all for serious literary fiction, but sometimes a little levity is welcome and this hit the spot perfectly.

The characters here are all very much stereotypes on the surface but are actually really well fleshed-out and interesting. The storytelling moves at a breakneck pace so you never feel like you're meandering too long, and the resolution, while not particularly a shocker, is satisfying. The whole thing is just a lot of fun and I'm glad to have read it.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC as always!

This book was absolutely delightful. It was a genuine page turner. I can not WAIT to own a physical copy!! It's a little hard to review the book without spoilers. Honestly, I think the less you know about it before reading, the better.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle by Samantha Allen is a chick-lit satire of reality television shows. What is supposed to be a dating reality show (think the Bachelor) turns into something that resembles something closer to Survivor, or possibly something even worse. This book was funny and fast-paced. The characters were SO interesting and well-developed.

I thought this book was really good, and sooooo unique. Do yourself a favor and READ IT! Available in June 2022!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

This book was so weird, but also pretty fun. A gruesome and wacky ride, this queer horror is strange and satirical, and honestly indescribable. I can see it becoming a real cult favourite!

I absolutely loved this book. Honestly, I think the less you know about it before reading, the better, because it's a wild ride.
The story starts as a Bachelor-type show that is down to the final four girls. I enjoyed getting to know all the different contestants and seeing the producers working behind the scenes. This final four portion of the show takes place on an island in the Pacific Northwest and the island itself is like a character in the story. It's a little creepy and definitely sets a mildly unsettling tone. There are also some residents on the island who occasionally cross paths with the contestants. Later on in the book, there is a major shift and it becomes a gory slasher horror story. I don't want to give more specifics than that, but please just know that it does get violent and a bit dark so be prepared!
Even though this book is short, it put me through a range of emotions. Mostly, it is really really funny. Some of the moments and lines made me laugh out loud. It also made me cry a little at a few places, which I was not expecting! It's also full of queer characters and I loved the moments of community and love and connection that were shown. This was so much fun to read, but it also is a nice commentary/satire about some aspects of society. One of my favorite books I've read this year for sure! I wish it was longer!

TW for gore, death/grief, blood, car accidents, and homophobia (not portrayed as acceptable)

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

This books is different from anything I have read before in the best way possible! Campy, funny, sapphic drama and that left me surprised at each turn. I enjoyed getting to know the characters for the first part of the book and each of their perspectives surrounding the reality tv show they were part of. The second half of the book was just wild and I couldn’t predict where it was going up until the very end. The setting and place description was also great and added to the story.

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me an ARC in return for an honest review!

It's odd to describe a slash flick turned novel as "delightful" and "balm for the disillusioned BIPOC woman's soul" but here we are. Patricia Wants to Cuddle is equal parts love letter to America's obsession with commodifying and televising love, insight into how soul-crushing it is to feel isolated from both your identity and society at large, and gratuitous slasher gore at its best.

The novel has a premise sure to entice from the start: The Catch - a clear riff of The Bachelor - sends the four remaining ladies and the eponymous Catch to a remote island in the Pacific Northwest. From their arrival, it is clear that this pack of would-be social media influencers is not alone on the island.

(Potential light spoilers ahead!) Allen sets a brisk pace that hits a fever pitch towards the last quarter of the novel. Every chapter is told from a different POV giving us insight into their inner workings and interspersed with shockingly tender sapphic love letters and crumbs of a decade-old missing person case on the island. While there are many threads running throughout the novel, Allen does a great job of resolving them just enough to leave the reader satisfied while allowing us to draw our own conclusions.

I also want to take a moment to highlight how well-written the character of Natasha is. Her arc is absolutely bananas in the best way. Despite some . . . shocking decisions she makes throughout the narrative, as a reader, I was there with her every step of the way.

Patricia Wants to Cuddle is an entertaining, zippy read that is somehow both tender and brutal in its scrutiny of social media, love, and what it means to find a place to call one's own. Highly recommend!

Even though outside of my regular genres - I did enjoy the slow and steady character build-up. Horror, but make it literary! The satire of reality TV drew me to this book and what ultimately made it bingable.

The key phrases that Allen uses made this book for me: 'queer grendel,' 'lesbian sasquatch,' etc. I think the book will be an absolute hit in the horror reader community - I was just a bit in over my head with jumping into the genre.

Thank you for the chance to review this!

This book was fast-paced and hysterical, and utterly impossible to put down every time I picked it up.

'Patricia Wants to Cuddle' follows the final four contestants on a Bachelor-esque reality dating show called 'The Catch' as they travel with the crew and their catch to the Pacific Northwest to film. Within days of their arrival, things start to get...weird, to say the least. It's one part genre fiction, one part thriller, one part horror, and it's entirely already one of the best books I've read all year. I would highly recommend it for anyone looking for something I guarantee they've never read before!

This book is hysterical! A perfect mix of laugh out loud level comedy writing, badass queer rep, and grotesque body horror! The way tropes associated with reality tv and the horror genre are put against each other and twisted around is brilliant. I want to cuddle Patricia too!!!

Okay so, this was MOSTLY a 5-star read for me. It started out very strong by perfectly capturing the voice of a well-known Bachelor spoiler writer (known less-than-affectionately to Bachelor Nation as Rita Skeeter - if you know, you know). From there, it continued to be the most on-the-nose book based on The Bachelor I've ever read - and I've read basically all the ones that aren't straight-up erotica. In fact, I was able to mentally cast almost every show character in my head.

The problem that turned it into a 4-star read is that, well, I liked all of those characters. I got attached and wanted them all to either go home and be successful or stay on Otters Island with Patricia and be attendants to Lady Bigfoot (I don't think this is a spoiler, since you can clearly see Lady Bigfoot's hairy, meaty fist on the cover, clutching a Fay-Wray-esque figure). However, apparently I wasn't supposed to get attached, because - spoiler, though I think readers may appreciate knowing - things take a VERY bloodbath-y turn. I mean, really, gruesome, horrific carnage. I'm not sure why it came as such a shock to me; I guess I was being excessively optimistic.

HOWEVER. This is still an excellent book that I think if you like it, you'll really, really love it. I recommend to fans of Grady Hendrix and/or Melissa Broder, people who watch The Bachelor for the social commentary, anyone who ever loved B-movies, aspiring cryptozoologists, fans of dark mean-girl shenanigans (e.g. The Craft, Foxfire, Heathers, Heavenly Creatures), and anyone who sort of wishes they were a lesbian witch living off the land with just your fellow lesbian witches and a sasquatch for company.

I am afraid that I struggled with this book. I just didn't connect with it, and it was not a good read for me. Sorry ,hope others like it more.

“Patricia Wants to Cuddle” offers readers a bit of everything; fantasy, thriller, romance, reality TV…
Several women are vying for a happily-ever-after from a bachelor on a reality TV show. One of the final challenges is set on a remote island where strange events begin to occur. Even more strange is who is behind it all.

How do I describe this book without totally giving away everything great about it?
The book follows the cast and crew of a Bachelor-esque reality dating show to a remote island in the Pacific Northwest where they are looking to film. And let's just say that things don't go as planned.
This book managed to be both comedic and gruesome - which is not something I can say is done well very often but damn Samantha pulls it off so well. While the blurb and the cover do give away some of the twists, this book pulls you in at first in one direction, then promptly clotheslines you and drags you away on a different path - in the best possible way.
I've never read any of the authors other works, but I might have to because wow I absolutely loved everything about this writing - the POV switches, the dialogue, EVERYTHING. Hell, I don't think there's a single main character in this I'd actually want to meet in real life, but I LOVED them! They were all awful, terrible people (with a couple exceptions) but they were also so much fun to read and worked perfectly with the story.
My only main complaint is that the ending is a bit rushed and would've loved to see just a tab bit more exploration of some of the side plots, but honestly it still works.

The final four contestants in a Bachelor-style reality show and the (deeply mediocre) “Catch” they’re competing for travel to a remote island in the Pacific Northwest to film the season’s penultimate episode. They fight and squabble and do all of the reality tv things, and then people start disappearing and everything goes insane.

•-•-•-•

This book was bonkers and deeply weird, but then kind of not weird enough? It starts off as a fairly typical satire of reality tv tropes, and then Patricia comes in and everything gets immediately bloody. I was hoping for more of an explanation about Patricia and the women on the island because that felt glossed over, even though it was the whole point of the story. I did fly through this book — it was funny and fast-paced and I like some gore (and that cover is beyond AMAZING) — but the ending felt a bit abrupt, and I needed more answers!

Holy SHIT this book took me for a ride in the best way. So much fun. It's the perfect blend of camp-y horror and reality TV show satire with a little splash of queerness (lesbian cults anyone??) that I absolutely loved.

The writing was so good, and the characters were SO interesting and well-developed. Renee's character in particular was so fascinating to me, specifically in the way that she grapples with her sexuality throughout the book. She simultaneously feels "not queer enough" yet also "not straight enough" to feel like she's "allowed" to categorize herself into either group, which is a perspective I found so relatable and refreshing because it's unlike anything I've read before in queer literature. We need more queer stories in all forms, but I've never felt so seen and represented like that through a character before, so that was really special for me to experience.

Honestly everything about this book sucked me in and I couldn't put it down because I had to know how it was all going to tie up in the end. If you're looking for a fun romp and don't mind a little gore, this book is IT. Available in June 2022!

Thank you so much to Netgalley and Zando Projects for providing me with a digital arc of this book. It will probably become one of my favorites of the year and I'm super grateful to have read it.