(5 stars)
I strongly believe this book will become a rock to many researchers, in a somewhat new beginning in queer and social studies. Because how could it not? Refusing Compulsory Sexuality fills a void that is the analysis of asexuality in the understanding of human sexuality and its connection to the capitalist and cishet patriarchal systems and yet opens the door for so much more. Through the identity intersections of Blackness and Asexuality, we arrived at a more clear understanding of our culture. When I say clarity, I do mean a more defined view of the complexities of the narratives imposed on Black bodies, the rules of sexuality and how (Black) asexuality interacts with them.
And in terms of quality, it is just an incredibly written book. Both the foreword and the afterword are brilliant, in a perfect balance of the difficulties of the past and present and the hope for the future. Sherronda J. Brown’s writing also has this transformative element, shaping itself to the theme, creating a dynamic voice that echoes in your mind.
I was to acquire a copy for myself when the book is out, to annotate. This book holds so much (that I wish to keep and that I wish to pursue). Like a house with so many doors, that could become a starting place for many readers or a bridge to others. Right now the ideas that stuck with me are related to the frigidity chapter, the idea of assigning identities to others related to Olivia Butler and the dual sexuality and asexuality of the “Mammy”. I also very much agree with the author on the necessity to explore sexuality from a neurodiverse point of view and add that the exploration of neurodivergence gender exploration and identity is also essential.
Overall, this book was marvellous. And I name it a key work on queer, social and racial studies researchers’ shelves. I also recommend it to all queer people, those who would like to learn more about intersectional (a)sexuality and everyone.

Although this book is largely an academic one, I was pleasantly surprised by how accessible and readable this was in many places.

The book seeks to unpick some of the cultural assumptions we have about sex and sexuality, and how they intersect with race. A broad range of fascinating discussions follow, whether the way sexuality is framed as a compulsory and 'essential' part of ourselves, how asexual and/or less conventionally attractive people are framed as untrustworthy villains in popular media, and how people are racialised as more/less sexual, all leaving various people in the crossfire.

Although these discussions can sound somewhat disparate, the skill of Brown's writing here is creating a cohesive narrative that brings them together, and shows how asexual and aromantic people, especially those of colour, face unique challenges in navigating the world as it stands.

I received an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

we have always been and will always be here

4.5

I absolutely loved this. It's hard for me to review books that are non-fiction rather than fiction, but I'll do my best! It covered so many different areas and I loved how concise and clearly written it was, with lots of references that showed how much time and precision the author spent on research. Sometimes, I find non-fiction books like this difficult to read due to the language used, but this was very easy for even me to understand and it left me with a lot to think about.

I've been knowingly asexual for maybe ten years now (give or take), and I'm amazed by how much I'm still learning about it. For example, this included references of asexuality from way back in the 1800's! I knew asexuality has been around for a very long time, but I had no idea there was actual documentation of asexuality.

Also, learning about the intersectionalities of asexuality and asexual history was really interesting, and I think I'll be thinking about this for a very long time to come. I would highly, highly recommend it for pretty much everyone, really.

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is by far the most compelling and important book I have read in my lifetime and I will never stop recommending it to others. As someone who reads a lot about sexuality and gender, I wondered how much I would actually learn by reading this. The answer? I learned a lot. Despite its American focus, the topics are universal enough to indulge an international audience.

The book explores a great variety of topics, talking, for instance, about both historical and modern views on Black asexuality, the ways capitalism and white cisheteropatriarchy instilled many problematic ideas in society, and a lot about sex and the history of its traditional gender roles. Each chapter is eye-opening and has taught me more than I ever expected one book could do.

Brown uses content warnings in all chapters to mark spoilers and to announce triggering topics which is very helpful, especially seeing how a lot of the chapters discuss heavier topics. The book uses inclusive language and reading it felt like a very inviting learning experience. One problem I had is that there’s a lot of repetition of certain ideas which can make the book feel longer, however, it is a great way to drive home vital points and themes throughout the book so it certainly didn’t hinder my reading experience.

If you have any interest in race, gender and/or sexuality, this is the book for you. There are many specific terms used that can make reading the book a bit more difficult, but the language isn’t entirely inaccessible and still enjoyable enough to get through easily. An important piece of nonfiction that I hope will reach many people’s bookshelves!

This book has been one of my most anticipated for the year since I saw it announced on Instagram by Sherronda J. Brown late in 2021, and whew, did the wait pay off. This book is incredibly insightful and beautifully done - the intersectionality lived by Brown is woven in expertly to discuss a subject so many do not have the words to define. I absolutely loved this book, as an asexual lesbian, and cannot wait for the world to get their hands on it.

Sherronda J Brown explores the oppression of asexuals through the eyes of a black cis female. She describes in depth the history of injustice asexuals have faced, while coinciding the fetishization and hypersexualization of black bodies since colonial times. Black female identifying ACEs as they often call themselves are faced with living in a heteropatriarchial society and are victim to both misogyny and misogynoir. America has historically simultaneously pleasured and profited from the sexualization of black bodies. This book gives examples from the plantation era Jezebel to modern trends on Pornhub. Black women have been demonized and seen as promiscuous to protect the real sexual predators, men.
Being asexual and black is not considered normative or natural. ACE women face being infantilized and dehumanized by acephobics who are not actually afraid, just disgusted by things not seen as normal to them. Research has gone into the psychological issues of not desiring sex until recently and have gone as far as individuals deciding corrective r*** was a solution. SA whether coerced or forced is common in ACE women to remedy their “problem”. Many ACEs even have sex to maintain relationships although it is not pleasurable to them. ACEs are neither fully accepted by the straight or LGBTQ communities which are both largely based on sexuality, although some ACEs identify as queer.
As a cis hetero black woman I found this work fascinating. I was intrigued to explore an internalized biases and ignorances I had about asexuality. I felt while the ideas aren’t revolutionary, they were ideas I had never considered before. In an oversexed society a woman’s worth can be based on her sexual desirability. I can’t imagine trying to navigate the world with my sexuality being constantly infantilized and dehumanized. I have a new found respect for the perils of living authentically asexual in a heteropatriarchial society.
At times this book could be wordy or drag but it it easily consumable. I would not recommend this work to anyone sensitive to SA, r*** culture or racism. This book gives fair trigger warnings but if you are sensitive to those subjects this book was not written for you.

described as “a Black queer feminist exploration of asexuality”, refusing compulsory sexuality is a revelation of a book. it fills many previously barren gaps in asexual literature, and it is educational, affirming, and above all, necessary (albeit somewhat unfortunately).

with chapters spanning asexual histories to asexual presents to asexual futures, “frigidity” to gatekeeping to capitalism, refusing compulsory sexuality delivers an extraordinarily comprehensive amount of research and analysis on asexuality, without feeling too dense or unreadable.

as an asexual person, one of my largest criticisms of aspec representation in media is that it is almost always focused on an introduction to asexuality, and rarely goes beyond it. this book isn't asexuality 101, but that's important. i’m white, so i obviously can’t speak on the accuracy or quality of the discussions on Black asexuality in this book, but i will say that i learned a great deal, and that it definitely changed a lot of my views on how asexuality and compulsory sexuality interact with our society.

i absolutely loved how the author noted that while the textbook definition of asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, maybe asexuality shouldn’t be defined by a lack. instead, perhaps, we should think of asexuality as a unique and unconventional relationship to sex (and in many cases romance), which, just by existing, challenges compulsory sexuality and the societal institutions it holds up, including capitalism, white supremacy, and colonialism.

i see it as a large step in the right direction that refusing compulsory sexuality will be released to the world this september. this book affirms that asexuality is genuine and deserves genuine respect, and that asexuality can teach us a lot about societal constructs and activism. the discussions on asexuality, and on race and gender, that refusing sexuality prompts are ones that need to be had. and so when this book comes out, i look forward to picking up a physical copy, annotating it thoroughly, and recommending it for anyone looking for asexual literature beyond the basics. and i hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you do the same.

Sorry!! I did not finish it because I didn't like the prose!! It did not flow well. The academic style was really off-putting for me.

Phenomenal , educational, diverse, inclusive, and well written. I think this may be up there with my favorite LGBTQ+ nonfiction books.

thank you to netgalley for providing me with an arc!

i planned to finish this in june for pride month and didn't so happy late pride month i guess! refusing compulsory sexuality by sherronda j brown is a deep insight on what it means to be an asexual, and specifically a black asexual in today's sex-obsessed society and how society and history has led to the condemnation of both of those identities

the issue for me is that some of these chapters were REALLY strong and i found myself flying through them (specifically the beginning few and the end) but in the middle, most of the chapters felt dragged on and didn't really prove the point the author was trying to make. at times, i found myself wondering what the point of these chapters was at all. the ideas felt kind of disjointed and a lot of the comparisons to other sexualities, specifically about lesbians felt....off to me, as an asexual.

overall, i enjoyed some of the ideas the author shared and a feel little more open to myself regarding my sexuality which and i appreciate this book for that, at least which is why im giving this a 2.75 rounded up to 3

reviews posted on other review sites:
https://app.thestorygraph.com/reviews/7c046d7a-dc4a-46dc-967d-e5411eefc800

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4827024768

Thank you for NetGalley and the publisher for approving me as an advanced copy reader. Below is my own opinion of the book.

So right of the bat, I like the use of disliking popular foods, which is seen as an aversion by others, as an allegory to not "liking sex". Both are not something one has actively chose to not like, both inflict strong emotions in the ears of society.
Not liking something popular does not automatically means that one judges or insults those who do. There's a known saying Hebrew, which roughly translated to: "On matters of taste and smell, there's no argument". It seems very fitting for this topic. Unfortunately, some will counter back with the likes of "sex is something that defined human beings", "it's not natural", "what happened to you?", "you just haven't met the right one"…

Even if one personally hasn’t “tried” sex, it’s still valid that they don’t want or like it.
Although I cannot speak about as an own voice regarding being black, I am aroace, and can confidently say that some passages in this book brought tears to my eyes and truly moved me. It certainly isn't a light read, and might hit close to home for some. That's why I had to take breaks between reading sessions.

I feel like this book is for a more advanced reader regarding asexuality. It won’t be the first read I’ll recommend for someone who doesn’t have any prior basic knowledge of the subject.

I appreciate that it drives the point that sex might be consensual, but at the same time unwanted.

The book does a good job presenting how asexuals differ from society’s expectations, how they are perceived by others. Then it’s breaking down those wrong misconceptions or corrects them.

I consider myself quite knowledgeable in the subject of asexuality, and I was almost certain, that by this point in my journey, there nothing more to add to it. So, it was a happy surprise that as early as the introduction had something new to teach me.
It’s the first time I’ve read a quote from Lisa Orlando’s (who I have heard of before) work. I took a fancy to her approach of “self-contained sexuality”, and “relating sexuality to no one”. That was all the way in 1972, so no one could claim that ace is a new invention, for better or worse.

It never accrued to me to question the association of the term allosexual compared to asexual. As in, having a normal versus abnormal sexuality. As the author states, it already sets up the standard and has connotations that clues into what is considered normal verse abnormal in society.

I personally like the term ‘relation misfits’, but I guess not everyone would. It also might be used against aces and lead to some negative impact from how others see aces and aros.

It is important to include the societal problem with "gender", as one can find in chapter 9. although I don't agree completely with attributing it only to racial colonization and white supremacy. I believe there is a deeper connection between acephobia and the modern gender norms and outlook of most people.

The author provides evidence of sexuality historically being viewed as queer in the modern sense, outside of the norm cisheterosexuality.

Chapter 11 has a timeline detailing major presences of asexuality (positive and negative ones). I found it very interesting, and it helped me compile a historic timeline in my head, which was great and what I've been waiting for.
Chapter 10 was a bit longer than I would have liked and think is right for this book. I suggest shortening it and expanding on the matter in a different publication, maybe with content from chapter 9 as well.

I recommend this read for people on the a-spec who are already a bit knowledgeable in the subject, since this isn't an introductionary work. I wish everyone would read and learn something from this book.
As a final take from this, that many can relate to regardless of asexuality, is that Heterosexuality is a “political institution” that constantly works to “disempower women” sexually and socially.

I was looking forward to a book about the ace experience that wasn't stuck in 101 perspectives. The beginning of this book does take longer than I'd like to lay the basics out and the author's writing was academic enough that I struggled to get into it, but ultimately I think it lead to a worthwhile place of showing the nuance of multiple identities and how they overlapped. I also really appreciated the historical research that went into this, even as the author admits to being an amateur historian. They definitely found some good stuff! On the other hand, there was an extended section where it was discussed whether or not historical figures (specifically Olivia Butler and Langston Hughes) were asexual and I'm wary of analyzing historical figures without their input. So overall a bit mixed but worthwhile!

The intersections of asexuality are rarely explored, therefore I'm truly glad that this book, written from a Black queer perspective exists. However, I must admit it's very US-centric and therefore folks from other parts of the world my find it hard to identify with some examples, or simply understand certain statements. An important voice nonetheless.

What bothered me about this book is the formatting of the content warnings. Using "*" in place of the letters makes it hard to access by people who use digital reading aids, as the softwares don't recognise this.

This should be required reading.

This was an thought-provoking and informative analysis of compulsory sexuality through a Black asexual lens. As an asexual person some things felt like things I've noticed and experienced put into words and explained in a way I could never articulate as well while other arguments and reflections were completely new ideas to me that made me understand myself and the society we live in better as well as opened my eyes to an intersection I heard bits and pieces of the struggles of but never in it's entirety.

My favorite parts were about the connection between rape culture and compulsory sexuality, the isolation in the queer community, the intersection of being asexual and Black, and the dissection of why sex is such a big deal in our culture in the first place. I also really loved the part at the end where they talked about dead celebrities that get read as gay or lesbian when the evidence really points towards them being asexual and or aromantic, and the timeline of asexual history.

No matter if you arr asexual or allosexual, if you know a lot about asexuality or next to nothing, if you experience the intersection between being Black and asexual or if their unique struggles are a completely new concept to you, you will find something in this book. And you will not be the same person after reading it as you were before.

I received an eBook copy of Refusing Compulsory Sexuality by Sherronda J. Brown from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Overall, I found this book to be very informative and useful to read. As an asexual person, I enjoyed learning more about what others within the community have to deal with. Therefore, I highly suggest this informative book!

I absolutely loved this book. Such a refreshing take on compulsory sexuality through a Black and asexual lens, two marginalised communities that deserve so much more attention than they currently receive.

I learned a lot reading this book, a lot of asexual history and analysis of compulsory sexuality. A lot of it were things that I'd already thought about (for example the connection between asexuality and lesbianism) and it felt really validating to see all of it written out and thoroughly researched.

The final chapter with Black asexuals talking about their experience with compulsory sexuality was one of my favourite parts, it tied everything together nicely before going to the afterword and the footnotes.

Overall, this is a brilliant book that I hope many people will read when it comes out in a few months. I could not recommend this more!

A perfect education on a sexuality as blackness. Easy to read and digest this is written for any mind wanting to expand with the knowledge.

actual rating: 3.5

If I had to give one criticism of this book I would say that it probably needed another pass at editing as I found it to be a bit disjointed at times but I think it probably would have worked better if I had taken breaks between all the chapters and thought of them as entirely separate essays instead of thinking of them as building on each other all the way through. I also was pretty uncomfortable with the section that kept comparing ace people to lesbians for a number of reasons but I'm not sure if that's like something that's really 'valid' of me to criticize or if I just have a negative reaction to it because of my personal real life experiences as an ace person so trying not to let that affect my rating and doing a 3.5 rounded up.

Even with that issue I still think it's a very informative book with a lot of really eye-opening analysis that a lot of people have probably never considered in regards to both race and sexuality and would recommend it overall. I do think you should probably have some familiarity with asexuality before going in though because like some other reviewers and myself have said, this isn't the most well-organized thing in the world. I didn't find it too distracting but also I'm ace myself and have read several books about it in the past.

This is fantastic non-fiction about rejecting allosexuality (compulsory sexuality) and the relationship between being Black and being asexual. This is a well-researched book which insightful inputs from the author. There are content warnings before every chapter which I really appreciated.

The author discusses how the stereotype of Black people being hypersexual continues to feed into anti-Black and anti-fat attitudes and policies. Purity culture attaches morality to sex in the sense that sex will inevitable happen and everyone desires sex. They also reject the definition of asexuality as being "lack of sexual attraction/desire", as being asexual is not being without sexuality. To lack is to be without, deficient or not enough. When we use the word "asexual", we mean "relating sexually to no one" and not "without sex". They also discuss the role of consent and sexual autonomy, the absence of which leads to a rape culture fueled by misogyny and racism, and denial of asexuality.

Brown elaborates upon the Black asexual identity and says that Black asexuals often find themselves pushed out of spaces on claims that "talking about race will divide us" or "Black people can't be asexuals". The author discusses various aspects of this identity through headings like acephobia, gatekeeping, corrective rape, medical conversion or conversion therapy, hypersexualiztion of young Black girls, lack of census data and research on asexual people and especially Black asexual people, dehumanization or infantilization, microaggressions, cisheteronoramtivity, the orgasm gap, harmful effects of porn sites, etc.

As Adrienne Rich writes, "women have been convinced that marriage and sexual orientation towards men are inevitable- even if unsatisfying or oppressive- components of their lives."

The author concludes with stating that the singular view of "normal" sexuality, gender binary and cisheteropatriarchal gender roles need to be done away with. The role of racism in exclusion of queer POCs needs to be interrogated.

I'm very glad I got the opportunity to read and review this book. Thank you Netgalley!

I’m not sure if this would be a good introduction to asexuality and intersectionality, as it might be too chaotic for that (more on that a bit later), and I don't know how much value this would bring to anyone who has read anything on these topics. Even though I haven't done that much research, this book didn't offer me a lot of new information. It was good to read from another person's perspective on issues I already knew some things about, but I cannot say it was a big learning experience.

By no means do I think this is a bad book. It's not what I was expecting, and, at times, the ideas were not delivered very well. It might have made more sense to have this structure for a podcast, as the chapters were not necessarily a continuation of one another. As a note, I consider a good non-fiction book (apart from autobiographies, memoirs, and maybe one or two more exceptions) one heavily based on scientific research. And I'm pretty sure now that's not what the author wanted to accomplish, even though that's the impression I got after reading the description.

The good parts:

It begins with a few definitions and common misconceptions; it also makes it clear what the objectives of this book are;

The way asexuality is explained, not by a lack of something, but as follows:
"I believe it is more true to say that asexuality is defined by a relationship to sex that is atypical to what has been decided on by society at large to be normative, and that atypical nature is marked by varying degrees of sexual attraction and desire. Asexual experiences stand outside what has been accepted and approved of as “normal” sexual experiences for both the queer and the heterosexual communities."

There are content warnings at the beginning of chapters with sensitive content or potential triggers;

There were some things backed by research, and some parts where the author managed to get an interview with some experts and included parts in the book;

There's a timeline at the end about the history of asexuality and how it was seen throughout time (I found it very useful, but I think it would've made more sense at the beginning of the book).

There were also a lot of comparisons between asexuality and other things misunderstood (in the past or even in the present). However, I think they would have made sense in the beginning, not throughout all of the book (some were even at the end), as by that time the reader should already understand those ideas. One example toward the end is about how the number of people identifying as asexual increased in the recent years, the same way the number of left-handed people did - the point being, it's not the number of people identifying as such that grew, but the number of people that felt safer to publicly acknowledge these aspects of their lives;

My favorite parts were by far those about Octavia E. Butler;

These quotes stood out to me:
"I want us to interrogate what we demand of our queer icons—and more, what kind of performativity we demand from our own queer selves and queer kin— and how this is informed by compulsory sexuality."

"A closet can be a cage, but it can also be a sanctum."

The not so good parts:

I don't know if it's because I read an arc, but I think this book could've benefited from another round of edits and a bit more consistency;
It got repetitive really fast. At only 15% in, 3 ideas have been repeated in almost every chapter, in almost the same way, using mostly the same words;
- For example, it's clearly stated that acephobes "fear" asexuals because they are “other”, because they don't conform to their narrative about sexuality, something that is even more obvious (for us) and more confusing (for them) when they encounter Black people (very often hypersexualized). But then, not much later, the author writes "So, I must wonder, what exactly is it that acephobes fear? What is it about the concept of asexuality and the implications of its existence that causes so much inner turmoil, and discomfort that acephobes feel compelled to deny and challenge someone else's lived experience, and even visit violence upon them because of it?";
- Throughout the book there are terms used multiple times before they are properly defined (if ever);
- Every time I felt like a subchapter was going somewhere it was immediately over and the next one began with a whole new idea;
- Another thing that kept bugging me was how sometimes the author would say "us, the asexual people" and other times "they, the asexual people". Again, some consistency would've been nice.

Most of this book reads as very full of anger. I don’t know how I feel about that, other than it makes me feel weird - I've read non-fiction before on discrimination and injustice and I felt a lot of anger, but here, the author's emotions get in the way of making a clear point or getting an idea through, as they repeat the same thing over and over again;

Some of the statements were backed by research (which is one of the good aspects I mentioned earlier), but some really big ones were not. For example, the author states "These are male supremacists who fail to form romantic and sexual relationships or connections, blame others for their social and sexual ineptitude, and believe that women should be required or forced to have sex with them. Several have even become mass killers because of their frustrations and misogyny." Without any reference to anything. They state that and move on…

There weren't that many new things for me. I started learning something after 35%. There were a lot of great ideas, but unfortunately, there were not explored as much as I would've liked.