Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for granting me free access to the advanced digital copy of this book.

5★
“How can I celebrate Pride if I don’t live near a parade?”

I bet that’s not a question you thought would be asked. Author Rowan Ellis has put together a comprehensive, easy-to-understand collection of history, essays, anecdotes, and thoughts to help young girls figure out their own approach to life. While the illustrations are bold and bright, and the language is often light and breezy, there is no question that she treats the subject and her audience seriously and with respect.

This is published by Frances Lincoln Children’s Books, and I would say this is aimed at young readers and teens, depending on how they are maturing. Kids develop feelings beyond friendship at different ages, and the intensity of feelings is also different for everyone.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who, as a kid, thought I knew and understood more about ‘life’ than I obviously did. Anything beyond the usual boy-girl relationships was generally never discussed, certainly not around children.

There is so much talk about sex, gender, and identity in the public sphere now, that young children use terms like “gay” as a general insult, not knowing what it means or why it would be considered insulting. They’ve just heard it as a negative. But they’ve heard it.

Unfortunately, there are always those who know how to pick their targets. One person was quoted in the book, saying, “I was bullied for being a lesbian before I even knew I was gay. I’m not going to lie—that was a wild ride.”

On the other hand, some kids recognise their friend is probably queer or gay before the friend has known it themselves. I remember hearing that one of my kid’s schoolmates discovered he was gay later in his teens and when he eventually came out, his friends surprised him by saying “Oh, we’ve always known that. So what?” That was nice. 😊

The author says that because this book was intended to be for everyone, and her experiences and knowledge weren’t going to be broad enough for such a big subject, she asked others to write essays and contribute. They share their problems and their joys.

“I didn’t want to sugarcoat or ignore experiences you might be familiar with, including homophobia and sexism. But I also didn’t want to fall into that gloomy trope of queer pain and suffering being all there is to our collective story.”

The book is divided it into three sections:

“Part One: Coming Out; Part Two: Doing It; Part Three: Finding Your Community”. Each part has chapters on different topics. It opens with finding out about yourself.

My Goodreads review has an illustration with the caption:
“ How Do I Know I’m Gay (or Bi, or Pan or...)?”

She says there’s no shortcut of 101 questions to ask yourself, but there are some ideas that can help.

“There are three things that feed into working out your sexuality. Let me explain.
1. WHAT YOU THINK AND FEEL
2. WHAT YOU DO
3. HOW YOU IDENTIFY”

My Goodreads review has an illustration with the caption:
“So, an important first step is trying to put aside how other people feel and focus on yourself.”

WHAT YOU DO is about how you might interact with others, like kissing, holding hands, or more. The title is accompanied by a highlighted heading.
“HEAD TO CHAPTER 10 ON PAGE 82 TO READ ABOUT CONSENT AND COMMUNICATION.”

Then HOW YOU IDENTIFY reminds readers there’s no rush, and you are in control of you. There is a long, skinny illustration of a person walking on a meandering, endless path from below the bottom of the page to beyond the top, passing by the words “Queer, non-binary, lesbian, bi”.

“It’s important to know that if you land on your coordinates on the LGBTQ+ map, you don’t have to stay there forever. Some people find their place on the map and make it their home. But it’s just as valid to be someone who finds themselves voyaging around the map. It’s okay to keep figuring things out about yourself, to change your identity or to develop feelings for people of genders you hadn’t felt romantically or sexually about before.”

I know a woman who dated boys originally, then lived happily in a lesbian relationship for several years, and later married a man she had known back when she was dating boys. They’ve been married with a child for over a decade. We go where the love is.

There is an extensive section on dating and romance. I’m sharing three illustrations of ideas for activities to do in public, private, or long distance, with people who are or might be like-minded. I will write out the text below, since it would be hard to read on a small screen.

Incidentally, I think many of these activities are good ideas for anyone wanting to make new friends, romantic or otherwise.

My Goodreads review has an illustration with the caption:
“PUBLIC
• Visit a gay book store together and pick out a book for each other
• Pack up a picnic and have a relaxing afternoon in the sun
• Try something new together, like a class or activity
• Visit a gay bar or club for an evening date if you’re old enough
• Find some nature to explore—whether it’s a full-on hike or just a stroll in the park together
• Try a classic: dinner and a movie”
My Goodreads review has three illustrations with the captions:
“PRIVATE:
• Cook a recipe you’ve never tried before together
• Get creative with some arts and crafts
• Play a game together (whether a video game, board game, or even a puzzle)
• Build a blanket fort and watch a movie together inside”

“LONG DISTANCE
• Send each other a date night/care package box and unbox them together
• Plan a remote movie night with webcams on and cinema snacks
• Order food for each other and have a surprise dinner date
• Play an online two-player game while you chat
• Create a mixtape playlist for each other and listen together”

All kinds of issues are discussed.

My Goodreads review has an illustration with the caption:
“Looking after your mental health on a day-to-day basis is so important. Too many of us wait until it gets bad before we think to do anything about it. It’s like a cup slowly filling up with water—as long as the water isn’t spilling over then it’s fine, right? We turn around to try and ignore the cup for a minute, but by the time we turn back, the water has already reached the top. But then the faucet is stiff and won’t turn off and the water is spilling onto the floor and, oh my God, is that an electric socket???”

There is a good vocabulary list of LGBTQI+ terms, along with the reminder that terms can mean different things to different people. As the book says “ After all, there isn’t an Official Global Queer Committee that decides what words we should use and what they should mean to everyone.”

There’s a reminder to check age appropriateness and restrictions for movies and entertainment. There’s a discussion of “what counts as sex?” which gets detailed enough to discuss the fact that laws apply to legal ages for different practices. This is to protect young people from abuse, and although this is written for the US, other countries and jurisdictions have laws to be aware of, too.

There is a list of “thinking points” (usually talking points, but this is to figure out your own head), and a good glossary, list of information resources, as well as some support services.

All in all, it’s a great book for young girls who want to know more, and it’s useful for older girls and women who probably wish they’d had this years before. But I’ll bet they find terms that are new to them, too. 😊

Here are websites where you can learn about the author and other contributors.
https://www.rowanellis.com/
https://www.jackysheridan.com/
https://www.mshafsaqureshi.com/
https://www.thepinknews.com/2019/10/09/gay-disabled-trans-woman-mikaela-moody-changing-faces-crouzon-syndrome/
https://invisibleproject.org/annie-segarra
https://www.mazhedgehog.com/

Thanks to NetGalley and Frances Lincoln Children’s Books for the copy for review.

I absolutely loved this book! It was vibrant and colorful. It was extremely educational and helpful for different age groups, but mostly geared to teens and young adults. However I found this to be a book that anyone older than that would find relevance with.

It was not overdone and not too wordy. The information was delivered in a relatable and easy to understand method with some humor and relatable imagery.

Highly recommend this one!

This is such a good guide for those who are questioning their sexuality as well as those who know. There is a lot of information about coming out, finding friends and support, and dealing with bullies, homophobia, etc. There are also many definitions and explanations of genders, identities, symbols, terms, and a quick history. The author provides resources, book and movie recommendations, and personal stories.

This is precisely the kind of book I wish I'd had when I was growing up. It does such a wonderful job of answering the questions young girls and femmes may have about gender, sexuality, and such, while keeping things respectfully age appropriate and interesting! On top of that, the art and design of the book is INCREDIBLE. Young people have a right to information like this as they grow into their identities, and I think books like this have an important role in that. Here and Queer meets my expectation as a queer elder (can I call myself that at 32?) and if I had a preteen, I would definitely buy this for them!

I’ve loved Rowan’s YouTube videos on LGBTQ+ topics for years, so I was really excited to learn that she was writing a guide for queer girls!! This was a brilliantly written, friendly and accessible guide to existing as a young queer girl.
I thought that the book was well structured and the illustrations added a really delightful touch to each page. I enjoyed the positive perspective on dating, mental health, sex, friendships, self-expression, bullying, and more. And as a young lesbian I believe I took anyway a lot of helpful advice from Rowan’s writing. Finally, it was a truly intersectional guide which I valued immensely.

I accessed a digital review copy of this book from the publisher.
This book is a short (160 pages) introduction to a wide variety of topics that are important to know or answer questions of queer girls. It covers sexuality, gender identity, queer history and activism, and more. Because this book is short and it isn't written in a text-dense style, some things are just introduced before the author moves on, or left out entirely. This isn't a bad thing though because, the way I see it, this book should work as an introductory book to the various topics. Once you get some information, what's included in the book, you then know what to look for and research on your own.
This book works as a great introduction to the many topics that come up for queer and questioning girls. I know if I had had access to this book, it would have made my teen years, and the many questions I had, much easier.

I got this on Netgalley in exchange for an honest review!

I really enjoyed this! It breaks down relevant things about being queer into smaller and less overwhelming parts, and explains stuff in a good way! Especially liked how it is inclusive from the start about how this can be read even if you are not a girl, and that you might find out you are not a girl later. LOVE inclusivity like that SO much!

Also a lot of good illustrations, and liked how the book was split up!

Definitely recommend it as a non-fiction guide!

This is honestly a book I would have loved as a teenager, because there are so many things I discovered only later in my 20s, specially about myself (never heard of asexuality and aromantism before), that would have clicked or at least got me intrigued with a book like this one, and would have made me feel "normal" back then.

It's general but gives a lot of diverse topics to talk about, and it's done very well and very accepting. I perhaps would have wished a few more infos and sentences that weren't there? In the coming out section, I would have loved to have something along the line "you don't own a coming out to nobody except yourself", because it talks about coming out and why people don't come out, but doesn't talk about the fact that you don't have to come out (to anyone) if you don't want to, you don't own them this part of yourself, and even if it's implied it would have been nice to express it better to make teenagers understand that no, once they figured out who they are, the next step isn't to come out, you don't have to.

Also as an aroace, I would have liked subtility in the whole "feelings" section: it talks so much about how you feel towards someone in a romantic and sexual way, but it doesn't really much says that it's alright to /not/ feel these things. Aromantism and Asexuality is only talked in short description, but it'd have been nice to be added as a "yes, you can feel romantically attracted to someone but not sexually" or even harder to accept for someone "it's okay to feel sexual attraction towards someone even if you don't feel romantically attracted to them". I know this book is general and it does says that you can always check online if a word seems to click to you, but it would be waaay more validiting to have only these shorts statements added to this book, specially when aromantism and asexuality is still hardly accepted even in the LGBTQIAP+ community!

But overall yes, it's a very interesting starter book and I actually really like the idea of reading this book outside to attract queer fellows who might feel better talking to you if they see you reading such a book haha

The colorful retro illustrations are super fun and the writing is conversational enough to be not intimidating to young readers.

I loved this book. It was exactly the kind of education I wish we’d had in school. I felt like there was so much information from history of queer identity to reasons to love being queer to not worrying about shaving if you so choose, while all being presented in a fun and light manner. Focusing on the queer girl experience this book still had so much quality information that I think anyone could appreciate and learn from. One of those “you don’t need to be represented” to learn books. All stars

I started this book in June for Pride Month and finally got around to finishing it. I enjoyed learning about the Queer community. The book does an incredible job at being inclusive and showing intersectionality.

The illustrations are also so well done. Sometimes Nonfiction books can be bland, but that wasn't the case for Here and Queer. The colors are pleasing to the eye, and greatly reflect women of different backgrounds. I feel this is so important for young readers, who may be able to see themselves within this guide.

I am a 23 year old cis queer person. I needed this when I was a teenager. With chapter of how to come out, things that might happen when you come out, possible things you might identify with and other glorious chapters which talk about important things like comp het and the importance of the design of pride flags this book I will thoroughly encourage my students to read. This should be read by allies as well as those who are part of the rainbow alphabet, both to learn from our past and in order to create a better future. The illustrations were amazing and the information such as suggested reading and watching was a brilliant list which personally I have read a lot of. I would easily compare this book to amazing books from Juno Dawson, however, it is more of an infographics colourful version.
I would recommend this to especially those in secondary school but it can be read at slightly younger ages, not all chapters would be relevant, and it is definitely helpful and useful for adults.

Title : Here and Queer
A Queer Girl's Guide to Life
Written by: Rowan Ellis
Pub Date: 31 May 2022
Publisher: Quarto Publishing Group – Frances Lincoln Children's Books, Frances Lincoln Children's Books
Genre: Children's Nonfiction


This is a book created to educate young girls on the life and experiences of lesbian/queer girls and women. Not only does it approach questions such as am I gay but it also teaches the reader about support, ally-ship and sex.

Though this work seems directed at Queer girls, it doesn't seem to me to have a true gender or sexual orientation demographic. As a 35 year old, who has only been out as Pansexual the past two years, I found this book interesting and even learned from it.

I think this book could be for a lot of people, parents of Queer kids, even Queer boys. Anyone who would read this could learn so much about Queer girls and women. It maybe that it could bring couples together especially if one is Queer and the other is not.

Perhaps if parents of Queer children read something like this they would be more understanding and less likely to disown their children. (Not my personal experience but something I am very aware of.) People often over react to things they are not familiar with and I think something like this could really help.

The life experience stories were a great aspect of this book. It is easy to just give advice, but when a reader can see why and were from, that has real impact.

Each of the stories had something I could I identify with, other than queerness, like Maz's love of Linkin Park and poetry. On a personal note, as someone who is Pan, plus size and is disabled I was touched to read Annie's story. Though they not only suffer with peoples ablisim, fat shaming, and homophobia (?), they also have to deal with racism (which I don't) and how they manage to deal with that is so graceful, which they don't owe anyone. I would have liked to know each persons preferred pronouns.


unfortunately, there are some issues for me with it being considered Children's nonfiction. Firstly I think it should be in the YA section. The language is too advanced for children and there is a lot of information to take in. I would like to see a more basic and scaled back version for children. After all, unfortunately the basic idea of Queerness is something a lot of children have not been thought. I think chapter one may have been shocking to some kids. (Growing up in Ireland in the 90's we had nothing like this as the country was practically run by the church. Perhaps if we had something even half of this book, things may have been different.)

I don't want to say that it should only be read by children X age but I think it is very detailed for any child I would say was under 10. Again I think it should be in the YA Genre.

This should really be a series in my opinion. The Parents of Queer Children, which could explore how the parents dealt with their kids coming out, Queer boys which could approach being Bi , Gender-fluid ect from their perspective. Even a book on how to be a positive Queer BFF, even similar books on any of the letters from the community. I would definitely read them all.

Jacky Sheridan's art was the cheery on top. Their bright and emotional art really strung Rowan Ellis's words together throughout the book. I felt some of the pieces of art and text would make amazing art prints.

Deducted one star because I believe it's in the wrong genre but still loved it.

I just finished reading Here and Queer and, as a 30yo woman, I didn't learn much, but I'm so glad this book exists for the young queers that will come! As a teen, I wasn't really questioning my sexuality (I had other things going on) but I clearly remember some friends who felt a little lost. I think that this book would have helped them a lot.

It's a very positive, concise and inclusive read that will certainly help a lot of young queers!

The only problem I had with the book was that some letters weren't fully formed and made the reading a bit difficult. Also the fact that it was a PDF made it almost impossible to read on my ereader (I had to zoom in but my ereader doens't like that??) and I had to read it on my computer which isn't the best. Why don't publishers give arcs in epub format?? Anyway, the book was great.

The author says it herself: "it was exactly what I needed but didn't have when I was a queer teen."
This book is a perfect resource for any queer youth about pretty much anything queer, from how to figure out who you are, to affirming yourself in a group, to finding others like you.
Because it is written by someone who has lived many of these experiences, it is full of wisdom and little thoughts that are validating and honest. It does talk about the more difficult parts of being queer, but it isn't the focus of the book.
A must have if you work with young people ages 12 and up.

3.5 stars

Here and Queer is a new, very short book by Rowan Ellis. It’s bright. It’s loud. It’s a good beginning primer. Let me preface this by saying that the information presented in the book is good, if nothing new from other books on the subject. It’s brevity is a double-edged sword. For someone just starting out learning about queer terminology, this isn’t a bad place to start. For someone wanting more than just very bare information, it won’t fill the need. It doesn’t seem like a “guide to life.” It does, however, have a list of books and resourced at the back of the book, which I have to give it props for.

I would say this is the type of book a librarian or educator might have sitting around for someone, and by that I would probably mean tweens exploring where they fit in the LGBTQ spectrum, who wants to quickly familiarize themselves with some terms and doesn’t know where to start.

Disclaimer: A copy was provided by the publisher.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an ARC of this title in exchange for an honest review.

I have to admit that I have been a longtime fan of Rowan Ellis, so I was incredibly excited to receive an advanced reader's copy. Here and Queer is such a lovely and kind guide for girls—and to be perfectly honest, women of all ages. I absolutely loved the focus on queer joy that is so often ignored by the media, as well as the intersectionality of the book—we got to hear from many different kinds of people. All in all, Here and Queer is a big hug for those who need it and a very important read for anyone who wants to become a better ally.

Young members of the LGBTQ+ community are often left alone to navigate and this is a good and extensive guide that can help them
Highly recommended.
Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine

This was a lovely book. The writing was easy to relate to and digest. You can tell the writers really want people to understand and feel included. This is the kind of book that I wish more people would read so they could educate themselves. The world would be a much better place for it.