What a gorgeous and freaky little book that haunted me the whole time I read it. I couldn't wait to get it out of my brain, but I also couldn't wait to dig in deeper. Katherine Dunn I love you forever.

I was given a NetGalley widget for this one a year ago and I just got around to reading it and dangit it was so good. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have consumed this wildly relevant fictional tale, which felt not at all fictional, more like historical fiction, due to the times. The cover initially was what drew me in, but I'm so thankful to have stuck with it because the outcome was magical. I always love listening to audiobooks and when they sweep me off my feet, I'm just utterly captivated! I always really enjoy multi-cultural thrillers, for I embark on a journey through a land unknown to me, while still getting spooked.

I tried to get into this book and I just could not do so. Maybe the timing was just not right for me. I will try later.

TOAD is a posthumously published novel, and the first book for me by the author, so I had little knowledge about Geek Love, but I was drawn to the quick synopsis about a deeply scarred and reclusive woman from cult icon Katherine Dunn.

I listened to the book in audio format, which was narrated by Christina Delaine and enjoyed the narration.

*many thanks to Macmillan Audio and netgalley for the gifted copy

This was a challenging read, all the characters are pretty unlikeable and it's a rather bleak story overall. The writing is wonderful though, and I'm glad I stuck with this one to the end. I love Geek Love, and this is a much different story with the same acerbic wit and cynicism.

Toad was a tough listen but wonderfully written. I loved hearing the protagonist's life story, as well as meeting the various side characters from her life. It was a traumatic story and you really got inside her head.

Katherine Dunn's "Geek Love" is a classic in certain circles, so many readers will probably be excited by this book upon noticing the author's name. I have to admit I knew almost nothing about "Geek Love" except that is on every list of books you must read about misfits. So my review is very much a product of not knowing anything coming in to "Toad". I didn't even recognize the author's name, I just loved the cover of a flaming caterpillar.

That being said, Toad was absolutely wonderful. Gritty and unsettling, we are dragged across time as the protagonist revels in her sordid self-obsession. Dunn does not shy away from the petty nastiness of life and all its dirty details. The protagonist has a fondness for her ridiculous desperation in youth and praises her self-imposed hermitage as she ages.

Katherine Dunn is one of those authors that as soon as you read their work, it dawns on you that THIS is who all your favorites tried to emulated. These are the characters who inspired, the anecdotes referenced, and the mood chased after. The best recommendation I can give Toad is that it will make you crave more of Dunn's writing. Whether you are new (like me) or a longtime fan, this will sate your craving for the grotesque and glorious flavors of Dunn.

*4.5 Stars On My Instagram Account*

"The thing I am afraid of is the weakness of my mind."

"It's expensive to be alone and still alive."

Toad by respected cult author of Geek Love #Katherine Dunn, who sadly passed away in 2016, is a previous unpublished novel that thankfully can now be appreciated as an exceptional piece of literature.

Sally is a flawed human who is often cruel and selfish as she herself says, "My own nastiness made me sick." Reflecting on her life we also discover her vulnerability, regrets, and loneliness with only a goldfish and garden toad to hear her often self deprecating thoughts.

Through the decades we see Sally deal with drugs and alcohol being a crutch for her unbridled emotions. There are the privileged who randomly come in and out of her life like Sam an eccentric storyteller, Carlotta a wanna be free spirit caught in a bizarre marriage and Rennel an egotistical philosophy major (Lord help us now). Through it all these self absorbed individuals miss the intense heartache Sally endures from the heartless betrayal of her poet lover. It culminates in her "disappoint(ment) in life...I was led to expect better."

This brazen traumatic story is immensely enhanced by the award worthy performance of narrator Christina Delaine. She embodies Sally's dark humor, self importance, visceral emotional pain and suicidal ideation to the point that I believed every word she spoke as Sally.

Katherine Dunn's writing is pure, often harsh, but always real. She paints a picture with her prose that brings the feelings we all have, sometimes well hidden, to the forefront and it's brutal yet honest. It's not an easy listen on life but I think for many a hard lesson on always fighting for it.

I received a free copy of this audiobook from MacMillan Audio via #NetGalley
for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own.

Unfortunately I just could not get into this, not for a lack of trying over and over. It felt really self-indulgent and purposefully difficult to follow without any real reason. I hate to give a bad review but, as someone to enjoys literary fiction, this didn't even captivate me a bit.

3.5 stars

alright kiddos, i'm coming at you today for probably one of my top ten most anticipated books of the year (i don't have a definitive list, but top ten feels apt). i have been a fan of katherine dunn since reading her cult classic 'geek love' in an undergraduate fiction course and falling head-over-heels for her wild characters and plotlines, while staying in the lane of literary fiction. (truly, you can ask abby to confirm how much this book impacted both of our reading lives.)

'toad', published posthumously after being turned down many times over in dunn's lifetime, is a different type of story. the novel follows sally, a woman recounting her life as a young woman in college and the people she met along the way. we meet sam, a guy who wants to know everyone's story; carlotta, a free spirit who finds herself succumbing to marriage despite her protests; and rennel, a philosophy student who cares more about himself than those around him. moving back and forth between her past and present, sally tells stories of the gang's misadventures, their weed-filled college days, her romances, a very dark suicide attempt, and her decision to become a recluse in her small house. none of the characters are particularly likeable, but were still intriguing to read about. while this book won't be dethroning 'geek love' as my favourite dunn novel, i do have appreciation for the believable (and often mundane) stories of a woman living her life the best she knows how. i also appreciated the afterward by the editor in understanding how this book was able to be edited to be an interesting read, as it likely wouldn't have captivated me the same way in its original form.

cw: vivid suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, animal cruelty

I read Geek Love in 1989, when I was 24 years old I remember it’s dark humor, it’s grotesque family dynamics, it’s characters who think their intentions and free will and independence are normal, when they are evil and horrifyingly abusive. I never read anything like it before. I was fascinated by Dunne’s description of a loving family that poisoned itself to create its own freak show. I remember giving it to my dad and he HATED IT and we had wonderful conversations about it’s disturbing attraction.

Toad, Dunne’s first yet never released novel, also has characters that pull you in while turning you away in disgust. We are introduced to Sally, a selfish, self-loathing intellectual 20 year old, living on the hippie fringes of a college town. We also see her as a middle aged hermit, independent self-sufficient but still full of jealousy and anger, retelling the story of her youth.

Sally has few redeeming qualities, and her cynicism and offhand casual lies are accepted by her immature friends as reliable genius. She is always there, with advice and support, though barely positive in its effect. Peers around her make foolish decisions and she watches and comments and offers nothing.

Sally is hateful yet mesmerizing. She has no intentions, no goals, and her needs are very base. She appears shallow, but the depth of her vanity and disdain is dark. There are glimpses of her knowing that doing the right thing would be a simple effort, but she holds back. Does nothing.

If you are a fan of Geek Love, you will appreciate Toad, a difficult, dark novel, unsparing in its revelations of human weakness.

Toad is a posthumously published novel by the author of Geek Love, a long time cult-classic. I have not read Geek Love but I am familiar with it and knew that Katherine Dunn's writing was said to be visceral, if at times gross. Toad definitely has the same elements. The writing is hypnotic, beautiful, descriptive. There's not really any story here, though. We follow Sally, our MC, through tough times and with her friends Sam and Carlotta. The writing here is 5 stars but the story itself is 3.

3.5 stars — If I was giving a rating for the poetic writing and narration alone, this would be a 5 star book. But the content and character development (can you even call it that?) knocks it down to a 3.5. This book is very morose. The characters reminded me of people straight out of a Sally Rooney novel - pretentious, narcissistic, insufferable, vain. The self-loathing became too much, when every single page is dripping with it. And Sally’s way of describing other people, the things she says to them, are downright cruel. But there were also a lot of relatable moments, especially if you’ve ever battled depression. One particular quote really resonated with me:

The reason I sleep with the light on is that I fall asleep while reading, so that if I wake in the night I only need to lift the book and focus my eyes. The thing I am afraid of is the weakness of my mind in that period of half sleep. The vulnerability I feel in the process of sliding into unconsciousness. There are thoughts and events and people that would encroach on me if I allowed them to. There are the shivers and quivers of my little sins lurking about the edge of my mind, you see. They are always waiting for me to slow down, and when I do, when the current relaxes for only a minute, they snatch me up and gobble away.

All in all, I would recommend this audiobook, but with the understanding that it is not for the easily triggered or offended (two huge triggers happen to be attempted suicide and infant loss).

Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for the advanced audiobook in exchange for my honest review.

I was unable to finish this title at this time, due to its heavier subject matters and depressing insight from the main character. However I do plan on reading this title once I am in a happier place mentally and am looking forward to that day.

This was my first time reading Katherine Dunn, and I'm actually glad for that. Reading Toad, I don't think I would have known it was written in another time if I had no knowledge of the author. It felt fresh and relevant, made more impressive by the fact that the characters were largely unlikeable people in less than appealing living circumstances.

The premise of this book is not what will hook a reader, as it simply revolves around Sally, her friends Sam and Carlotta, and some other supporting characters. A peeled back interpretation of parasocial relationships, the writing felt very transparent. It was horrifying almost all the way through, to the point that sometimes I felt sickened by these characters and their hygiene habits, but it also felt almost voyeuristic in a way that kept me engaged.

The narrator of the audiobook only lent good things to the book as well. I have never said this about an audiobook before, but this narrator had a perfect contagious laugh and delivered the material perfectly.

Thanks so much to Macmillian Audio as well as NetGalley for the advanced copy in exchange for my thoughts.

Toad is a compelling novel with weird characters that you wouldn't want to live with. Even though I didn't like the various oddballs in the story, I felt like I couldn't stop listening to the book. Like, I really wanted to know if they were ok, if things got better.
Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.

A previously unpublished novel by the late, great Katherine Dunn, author of the magnificent GEEK LOVE? Sign me up! Luckily, Macmillan Audio did just that.

Sally Gunnar has retreated from the world. She lives in a small house with her toad and goldfish and rarely leaves. Sally reminisces about how she got there, and that's where the story lives. She recounts her college days which were mostly spent with a fellow student named Sam. Sally tells us what happened during those years; about Sam and his girlfriend Carlotta, about the foreign woman downstairs from her college apartment, about Rennel, his poetry and workout routines. She also tells us about her battle with mental health. That's all I will say about the plot-what little of it there is, because it should be discovered by the reader as the author intended.

As the tale progressed. I realized I didn't like any of these characters, including Sally herself. Her friends all seemed to have money and privilege, while Sally had nothing. Sam had Carlotta, Rennel had his workout routine and his poetry. I'm not even sure any of these people were her friends in the purest definition of the word. They were horrible to her, to each other, and to pretty much to everyone.

So why did I continue to listen to a story in which I hated everyone? Because somehow it was compelling. These lives were such train wrecks and the characters so stupid and often blind, yet I couldn't tear myself away. Something about the way Dunn writes, I can't quite put my finger on it, kept me listening intently, even through the clouds of darkness and depression that surround this tale.

As I mentioned, I listened to TOAD on audio and the narrator, Christina Delaine, was fabulous. To be completely honest, I'm not sure I would've enjoyed it as much as I did if I had read it instead of listening to it. Ms. Delaine's voicing elevated what would probably have been a 3 star read to a 4 star one.

I feel like I do need to put some trigger warnings here, but I'm going to put them behind spoiler tags, so readers that have no triggers can just skip over them. <spoiler> This book contains suicide attempts and ideation, child abuse/neglect, animal abuse/ neglect, and lots of depressive episodes. </spoiler>

Overall, I did end up enjoying this story, even though the darkness was often palpable. I'm not sure "enjoy" is the correct word, but I could say the same thing about GEEK LOVE. Somehow Katherine Dunn kept my interest... in fact, it's almost like she hypnotized me. I disliked all of these characters, but somehow I couldn't tear myself away from them.

With superior voicing and a tale so compelling, I have to recommend the audio of TOAD.

*Thank you to MacMillan Audio for the ARC in exchange for my honest feedback. This is it!*

While this is not Geek Love, there's a certain beauty in the bleak, brutal writing. Toad is a slow-moving look into Sally's life as she navigates her way through a wide range of situations. This read is depressing and Dunn doesn't shy away from some pretty grotesque descriptions about bodily functions and personal hygiene.

The sadness infects all aspects of this book, but Dunn's writing is superb and unforgettable.

Thanks to NetGalley for the audiobook ARC!

This is my introduction to Katherine Dunn, and I found it to be very striking. The author's voice is loud, her tone is brash, and her attitude is no-nonsense! I will definitely need to check out some of her other books.

The plot of Toad is brutal and very raw, so be warned. This is not for the faint of heart. With characters that remind me of David Foster Wallace, and some heartbreaking and poignant moments throughout, Toad is definitely worth the read.

I was both nervous and excited to be blessed with an ARC for Toad (thank you kind publisher). Excited because Dunn's GEEK LOVE is a book I consider a masterpiece and one I reread every few years that manages to have the same impact each time I read it. Nervous because I feared my undying love for Geek Love might make anything else pale in comparison and perhaps that is a bit of what happened to me here because I had a struggle.

I wanted to adore and love this book and give it all five stars but pretending to do so wouldn't be honest because there were several points in this story where I nearly gave it up because it was either making me feel depressed or I'd catch myself tuning out. Before someone with all the smarts comes here and yells at me and says "Well, you shouldn't have expected another story just like Geek Love, all book babies are different" I'm here to stress that I didn't. I knew going in and reading the blurb that this book was a different story entirely but I will admit that I was expecting a story whose characters would captivate me even if I hated them and that just didn't happen here. There was no emotional connection just a feeling of going along with the words and a strong feeling of "meh, let's get through this". There are some beautiful passages and painful insights here, don't get me wrong, but ultimately this book and me? We did not mesh and I'll be sad about that for a long while.

Toad is about an older woman named Sally who lives a quiet and solitary existence and who, as the story soon reveals, is deeply depressed. Sally spends the majority of the book recounting tales of her college years spent with a small group of misfit friends. It's all coated with a layer of grime and filth and ick which is FINE (I don't mind that stuff usually) but it's also told through the lens of a deeply depressed, bitter and jealous woman filled with self-loathing who quite honestly is terrible and thoughtlessly says cruel things to her friends. This brings me to the drabness of the story. The friends barely react when something cruel is said. It can be interesting to read about conflict but they just soak it in and suck it up or don't seem to care enough to get upset. It isn't until nearly the end of the book that some of this behavior (which bugged me throughout) is addressed in a small way. There's little joy or humor and sometimes it felt very monotonous and like it wasn't ever going to go anywhere (and now that I'm done, I'm not completely sure that it ever did). Books don't often throw me into a funk but something about this one did and I nearly quit at about the 80% mark. I ended up pushing through because I felt obligated due to receiving an ARC that I requested but I do have some regrets about ignoring my gut.

There are many reviewers who enjoyed this much more than I did and who are mentioning the depression but there are many other things here that some readers may want a little heads up about before wading in unaware. I'll put the events in a content warning for those who would like to know about upsetting things before jumping in. Also, none of these events are the reason for my 2-star review, I can handle tough content. It simply didn't work for me here because I never felt emotionally invested in any of it. That's the difference.

In the end, this book made me feel very gloomy and blah but not in any kind of cathartic or emotionally devastating way but your experience may be different.