This book was very challenging to finish. Overall I give it 3.5 stars rounded to 4. It was not an easy read. The subject matter was graphic and disturbing. This one is going to be a divisive book.

When the protagonist, Jack, from whose point of view the story is told, meets James, an elderly man, in the Tate Modern and accompanies him home, the reader knows exactly what to expect. However, for the next 10% of the novel, Alex Vogel keeps us completely enthralled in the gradual seduction of the young man. Jack who has just turned 16, thinks it is a day to celebrate, the dawn of a new era, he has become a adult. He has been abandoned by his mother and his elder brother on whom he dotes and is left in the hands of a cruel and heartless father. He goes to the gym and builds up his body with the sole intention of taking revenge on this brutal beast of a father. His joy knows no end when the father abandons him and goes to St Moritz on a skiing holiday over Christmas and come back on crutches after an accident.

Jack meets Marcus at the gym and is obsessed by and sexually attracted to him. Though he is repeatedly warned by his coach to stay away from Marcus, Jack enters into a toxic relationship with him which almost parallels the relationship he has with his father. The sex with Marcus is brutal and upsetting.

His first night with James ends on a cold note with his being thrown out the next morning but gradually a mutual affection sets in and they come extremely close to each other. Then there is a Christmas party which James is throws to his “high class” friends which the reader is aware will spell disaster. Jack is looked down on as a money boy and is told in no uncertain terms by James’s ex-lover, Gerald, that he is not the first boy to be befriend by James. The party grows more sinister by the hour and ends in violence and total pandemonium.

The novel starts on the 21st December and ends on New Year’s day. Though it is a brief period of 10 days, Vogel packs in so much detail that it seems much longer. Readers complain about the repetition of violent sex scenes but I think they fulfils a purpose and reinforces the theme of the novel

What Vogel handles very well is the time scheme. One example is towards the end of the novel where he describes in detail what has happened to Jack, but what is not known till later is why this has happened. As also in the case of his missing mother and elder brother, we are told that they are not present but the reader’s suspense is heightened by the lack of knowledge for their absence from Jack’s life.


The description of the novel mentions that the relationship between Jack and the older James as “toxic” but I feel that his relationship with Marcus is the toxic one. His relationship with the older man has its ups and downs but I don’t think the right word to describe it is toxic.

This book is incredibly difficult to review. Overall, it is a well-written and stark look at what can happen to a person who has no one to turn to, and the ways that one move can put you on a quick spiral into the dangerous and unknown. The moments I thought stood out in this novel were Jack's own inner turmoil, dealing with the thoughts of his family and its history around the holidays. I also felt like the author's writing did a great job at jumping from moment to moment in a way that felt very real for a teenager going through traumatic experiences.

That said, this book lingered a lot on the sex scenes in a way that made me deeply uncomfortable and often horrified. I understand that we are supposed to see Jack as a victim, but when we come back to the actual sex scenes again and again, it felt unnecessary and often felt like it was doing this for the sole reason of making us uncomfortable. That is fine, but I wanted a more internal dialogue or discussion of themes. We just didn't get that, and instead it often reinforced the relationship with a person who admits to not caring that Jack is barely legal (which in this book is only 16). I think there was intention, but sometimes it didn't feel quite right.

I really enjoyed this book in the beginning. The writing is beautiful and I really felt for the main character. Unfortunately, I found some of the content too triggering and was unable to finish it. I’m giving three stars because what I read was GOOD - just not for me.

This one was a difficult one for me to read and I have to admit that I stopped reading it about 1/4 of the way in. The problem I had was the unnecessary detail of the sexual encounters that happened when the main character was underage. While I fully accept that situations like this arise, in particular for members of the queer community - I felt as though it was unnecessary for there to be such detail.

These encounters weren't relationships, they were an abuse of a minor. That left me in a position of not wanting to finish this book. I do not mean to imply that this book glorifies these relationships, but I was uncomfortable with the way the interactions were presented.

Thank you for giving me a chance to read it.

Incredibly painful, but strangely hopeful at the same time.

Poor Jack is dealing with so much. He is freshly 16 years old with an abusive father and enough trauma baggage to fill a semi! We follow him through a couple weeks at the end of December and it’s just a nonstop shit show. He is forming this obsession with an older man, who seems to be just a different vein of abusive, and this push and pull he feels in the situation is caustic.

I absolutely fell hard for Jack. He was such a tender young character that you, as the reader, want to just scoop up and protect. So much happens in such a short span of time. The people he comes in contact with, the ways in which he is used and abused… but he is still someone you really and truly want to root for.

I really enjoyed this book but it was hard to read. The author captures obsession and pain so well. The cyclical pattern that one can find themselves in… really just a great, painful read.