April Eden is about to have the night of her life. After years struggling uphill as a female director, her debut movie The Vanished Woman is up for a major British film award, placing her firmly on Hollywood’s radar. Her leading lady, Essie Lay—a fragile but magnetic former TV host—is on the cusp of a stunning comeback after being canceled for a disturbing scandal. When Essie messages April saying she can’t face the ceremony, April heads to Essie’s palatial London mansion, Lotus Lodge, to convince her to enjoy their big night together. But upon arriving, April is faced with tragedy: Essie’s body is floating in her swimming pool, all signs pointing to suicide. Panicked, April activates Essie’s team—her put-upon sister/manager, Janine, and her wily agent, Jonathan—expecting them to do damage control while she heads to the awards ceremony; she’s devastated yet determined to do what she can to protect Essie’s legacy.But by the time April returns to Lotus Lodge to face the fallout, Essie’s body has vanished. Was Essie actually murdered? Is this an elaborate hoax or publicity stunt gone wrong? And why does April start receiving unsettling messages, trying to pin the blame on her?
Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for giving me an advance copy.

I wanted to love this book. The cost of fame and influencers and society climbers is always entertaining but I felt like it was such slow burn, it was scarcely a burn at all. I really had a difficult time getting into the book and felt like I was forcing myself to read it. I did appreciate that it was character-driven but the plot was fairly convoluted for no real reason. The characters were very flawed which is fine but it was hard to stay invested in what happened to any of them.

This story is told in two timelines about the friendship of April and Essie who are in the entertainment/production industry. This was definitely a slow burn but was steady and engrossing the whole time!
3.75 ⭐️

The night has finally come after years of toiling in the entertainment industry for female director, April Eden, and her star, Essie Lay, in Nothing Without Me by Helen Monks Takhar. April knows that they're both slated for the top awards for her movie, The Vanished Woman. Even after Essie experiences her own version of cancel culture after a misstep, she's a shoo-in, but will she show up?

When April stops by Essie's palatial mansion, Lotus Lodge, to persuade her to attend this important event, she finds Essie drowned in her swimming pool. Instead of immediately calling the police, she and her boyfriend Jags leave the scene of the crime after she notifies members of Essie's family to check in on Essie. They'll take care of it, but once April returns to Essie's mansion, the body is gone.

So starts off this thriller that examines celebrity culture, feminism, the movie industry, and everything that goes along with it. It started out as an interesting premise, and there seems to be a lot of misdirection. Some characters right off the bat appeared sketchy to me, but the entire time you're not really sure what happened to Essie and who could be responsible for her death. The book alternates between the two main characters, flashbacks of their long history together, and their perspectives before the drowning.

I would say this book also heavily explores female friendships and the dynamics between them. It also spotlights the destructive lens we put stars behind, assuming the very worst about them and not letting them live. Are they involved with this or that person? Are they getting married/divorced? Are they pregnant? Are they having fertility problems? Why are they not getting along with whomever? We need to know. The author based some of the characterizations on Jennifer Aniston and her opinion piece for the New York Times about her own struggles with celebrity.

Sometimes, this book did drag, and I found myself wondering when the plot would pick up. There's a lot of exposition about the characters and their beginnings. Everyone and no one seemed culpable for the drowning yet I suspected the same people the whole time. Some characters just seemed shady from the beginning. I did like the inside look at acting and movie-making, but the thriller plot didn't hold my interest for long. In the middle, I started to lose interest and just wanted the book to reach its climax and conclusion. The book has some good points and is well-written, but I felt like it was missing something.

I liked this exploration of women in this genre. The mystery really picked up towards the end and left me stunned.

I love a good story about the seedy side of Hollywood! Told in two timelines, this is the story of April and Essie’s friendship and the compromises they made to have fame. Celebrity always comes at a big cost, sometimes it requires your very life. This was a bit of a slow burn but also twisty, compelling, and page flipping fun! Thank you Netgalley, Random House Publishing Group and the author for this eARC in exchange for my honest review. This book will be available for purchase on April 2, 2024

Film director April Eden is finally getting the recognition she has been craving with her latest film, The Vanished Woman. Everything she has been working towards is within her grasp, assuming she can keep her leading lady, disgraced starlet Essie Lay, from going off the rails again.

Unfortunately, things don’t go to plan when April finds Essie face down in her pool on opening night. From there, things only continue to get more chaotic when Essie’s body later goes missing. Was it all a publicity stunt gone awry, or is someone playing a sinister game with April? If Essie is dead, why would someone take her body?

While April scrambles to uncover the truth, the reader gains insight into the complicated friendship between the two women. This is done through alternating viewpoints from both characters across the span of twenty years. Throughout the book, it becomes clear they’ve been shaped by their toxic friendship, as well as abuse at the hands of those with power over them. Working through the ghosts of their past is key to finding out what happened to Essie.

Ultimately, this is a cautionary tale about the dangers of both fame and living life online in today’s world. It is a compelling read, albeit a bit dark, and certain aspects are so unbelievable it pulls the reader out of the story. That being said, this is ultimately a fun thriller and would make for a good beach read for fans of the genre.

Thank you NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group - Random House for the copy of Nothing Without Me by Helen Monks Takhar. While I enjoyed this book it took me a long time to read it. It started out great and I sped through the beginning. I’m not sure when I started to lose interest. It felt like it took a long time to get to the heart of the story, which to me was not Essie’s disappearance. The timelines were confusing and the characters were all pretty difficult to empathize with. I enjoyed learning their secrets though! I liked the big reveal even though it didn’t really come as a huge shock to me. If you love to read about film stars and what they do to stay in the spotlight, this is a great book for you.

I'm hesitant to say anything about the plot because this is the kind of book where it's best for the reader to go in knowing very little. There are so many twists and turns that I feel like I'd easily spoil something.

As many reviewers have noted, this is a really interesting take on how women are used and discarded — particularly, women in the public eye. The central mystery is truly baffling, which I loved, but I do wish the author would have given more clues and pieces for readers to attempt to put together. Instead, there was a lot of time spent in flashbacks and retellings, which slowed down the pacing for me. This is definitely a slow burn, but the ending is worth it.

The ugly face of fame, destructive online bullying, toxic friendship, and the ongoing fight of women for centuries to exist in a world ruled by men's rules: this book absolutely discusses these important subjects in a dark, realistic approach, not with kid gloves. Some chapters affect you like a harsh slap on your face! The mystery of a murder or missing person case of once a celebrity in her forties with a ruined public persona - a new actress with a chance of a comeback role in an indie project directed by an old friend she’s estranged from for her own reasons is a smart, twisty adventure that makes you guess to piece the puzzle and solve the main mystery before the author throws away the revelations at our way until the end.

The plot revolves around two women whose paths intersected in the early days as they try to climb the ladders of the most competitive entertainment industry. Essie Lay was always the sunshiny girl next door, supported by her wealthy, resourceful family who gives their full attention to her career path. On the other hand, April Eden, estranged from her family, creative, smart but shy, always envying Essie, tries sneaky ways to involve herself in her life, earning her trust and friendship. Finally, they get close, and some transfixing incident pushes them apart.

Twenty years later, when Essie is at the lowest point related to a video that tarnished her reputation, the only person who dares to give her a chance is April, who invests in her directorial debut movie: “Vanished Woman,” replacing her star Juniper with Essie.

Now the movie is finished, and all eyes are set for the opening night. On the same night, April gets a cryptic message from Essie that she is not going to attend the event. As April arrives at her palatial London mansion alongside her boyfriend Jaggs, she finds her friend floating in the swimming pool. There are remnants of crushed sleeping pills on the ground, all signs pointing to suicide. Instead of calling the officers, April is convinced to attend the ceremony by her boyfriend as she activates Essie’s sister/manager Janine and her wily agent Jonathan to handle the damage control. However, when she returns to the crime scene the very next day, she finds the poolside cleaned, and there’s no dead body floating around. It seems like Essie vanished into thin air.

The mystery starts gripping you as questions arise, such as what happened to Essie? Could she be alive or is someone whose name starts with J involved in her demise (which stretches the list as most of the characters’ names start with J, including April’s boyfriend, who acts very suspicious from the beginning)?

I enjoyed the thought-provoking criticism of the industry that takes a piece of women in exchange for sucking them dry until there’s only an empty vessel left behind. The intriguing, unconventional, and toxic relationship between the two main characters is also interesting.

The only things that made me stop giving five stars are a little far-fetched explanations in the end and some unreliable characterizations that made me roll my eyes. But overall, this is a fascinatingly riveting and gripping thriller that drags you into a twisty mystery, grabbing your full focus until the last chapter.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group for sharing this digital reviewer copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.

A very clever twist on the puppet masters of fame and the girls fighting back, Very timely as well. A slow urn that pays off.

Fast-paced and entertaining. A recommended purchase for collections where crime and thrillers are popular.

The story flowed well and the characters were well developed. I recommend this book and look forward to more from this author.


****Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC in exchange for my honest review****