Title: When Knowing Comes
Author: Kelly Green
Publisher: Safe Passage Press LLC
Pub date: 03/21/24

When someone asked what the book I was reading was about my first response was: Trauma, drama and the pursuit of justice.

This book is HARD. It hits hard right out of the gate. You just know this book will be difficult in an emotional and potentially triggering way even whether or not you’ve experienced this sort of trauma. As the story progresses, be warned that the abuse becomes more descriptive.

The book addresses what justice to a survivor may be like, the impact/damage to a victim and of those around the victim. It will show you that justice has different meanings to different people. I think the author did a good job showing not telling you what you should think by giving you different perspectives.

The story also asks the question of who is responsible for preventing and protecting children from a legal standpoint and an individual basis.

If you are able to read to the end, you will see that not all victims respond to their trauma the same way and how blame and guilt might be shared versus as an individual burden.

What to takeaway from this: The hope that as a society we learn how to put the protection of children first, where to place the real blame, how to support those who have been affected by this abuse and to pull the darkness from the shadows to make a real change. At the very least, this book can hopefully keep the conversations going to make a positive change to protect children and hold responsible all of those who should be accountable.

Thank you #Netgalley for the opportunity to read and review this story (even if it was difficult).

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher. Whoa..this was not an easy read at all. Right from the beginning, even in the synopsis you know you are going to face triggering topics. This was a hard read. I also wish I was able to read it on my kindle but I will look for a copy of this book in stores.

I imagine this was as hard to write as it was to read, but it was very well written
Not many words for this exept good job to the writer and to the readers beware there is a lot of dark moments in here
All in all a good book but a heavy one

Sadly I did not connect with this title. I found the characters uninteresting and the writing seemed laboured and dull.

This book was good . I felt it dealt with difficult subject matter with sensitivity but I’m not a huge fan of shifting pov’s but overall a good read

✰ 3 stars ✰

“His love was there, it was deep, but he must protect it from the cruel world, bury it and never allow the light in, as though it were a fragile thing that might forever break if discovered.”

A book that deals with a very sensitive topic, but still manages to convey an emotional story that depicts how the trauma of child abuse does not ever go away. I felt such a heartburn reading this; it's not just a legal case, it is the exploration of how challenging it is for one to overcome their trauma - that When Knowing Comes it leaves a lasting impression of how only if one is strong enough to overcome that guilt and pain - is there a chance to escape it.

“How could Ace possibly explain the devastation—the stress—of litigation? Even when you win, you lose. They would face triggers, and triggers, and more triggers.

The memories will torture and taunt them until it all rushes back in living color, like yesterday, like today.”

The opening chapter, itself, was uncomfortable; yet, the author delivered it in such a way that wasn't graphic, but still enough to make you feel the emotions and evoke this foreboding feeling that it set the stage for all future aches to come. It's not a topic that most would even consider reading, but the writing never slowed or faltered in any way that I wanted to stop reading. 👍🏻​ That is such a vital part to me as a reader, because if the words don't suit my palate - if the story becomes too stagnant or even meandering - it'll sour my mood. But, it didn't do that here; the alterations between the past and the present were handled well and it provided the right amount of insight into the important moments and the necessary character depth to give you an idea of where loyalties lay and what outcome to expect.​

“It’s not about justice. It’s about knowing, about accountability.”

Ace bent his head to look at his hands, still fussing with the stone, thinking.

“This is the great information age. We have people speaking up. Truth is breaking through. Truth will prevail.”

“Damn, Robbie. You really believe that shit?”

“I do. Evil will only succeed if good men do nothing.”

But, what really made it more impactful on a personal human touch was the characters - the story of two best friends, Robbie and Art, grew up together and were part of the same soccer club - one the victim, one the witness - and how years later, the witness is the lawyer handling his friend's lawsuit against the soccer league that they hold accountable for his trauma. 'It’s human nature to deny an ugly truth. That happens all the time, too.'​ 😞 Their opposing views was the driving force that led them from the recesses of their childhood memories to the courtroom where they had to shed their truths bare to all those who would tear apart their existence simply to find a flaw in the narrative.

It is that compelling case that brings about the human element to it, which makes it so much deeper than simply an analytical legal case or a recounting of fact or fiction. 'Ace’s own feelings pushed out Robbie’s; dread replaced determination.' There is a personal touch to it that involves various narratives that would eventually accumulate in how people's lives are unknowingly traumatized by it, without one even acknowledging it.​ 🥺 How it taints the heart so much that no matter how much one thinks it's over - it's not. Who is held accountable for the actions of others - for the ignorance and the mistakes that led to such unlawful and indecent acts? How does one overcome that emotional trauma, while also wondering if it is worth the effort to bring about a hand of justice?

“Why does everyone but the guilty bear the burden of this mess? Why do the survivors have to do all the work? Ace thought. He grabbed his head, trying to squeeze out the paradox of justice and injustice, but it followed him into the kitchen and joined him for dinner.”

Ace, especially - he remained a mystery throughout - and as jarring as his stoic personality was - he was the one who was​ hurting the most​. And the case may have been difficult for him to handle​ - to trigger unresolved grief - but it gave him the closure he needed​. For there is a past and a present to his story that comes to light gradually over the course of the book that really kept the pace going. 'Litigation solves nothing for people. It just opens old wounds, re-traumatizes the traumatized.' 😟​ It was interesting to have the soccer coach's perspective; I won't say much into his character, but it is having this perspective that gives the mystery part of the story a more definitive look. That she creates the shadow of a doubt of what is plausible and what is imagination to make the reader stick around till the end; and I did. It's not only about acknowledging what has happened, but trying to bring about some form of right to what happened - so that it doesn't happen again.​ 😥

The haunting cover is also something to take note of; how it manages to convey such an haunting echo of sadness, while almost feeling like the audience is intruding on something it should not; capturing a moment in time with a dark shadow that would forever taint their childhood innocence. 🥺​ 'Sometimes it felt like you were living in the twenty-first century, then you ​encountered this crap and wondered when and where the hell you really were.' It is a challenging issue to discuss, but even more upsetting to know that there are those powerful forces that would still refuse to admit their involvement in creating an unsafe environment and not even be contrite about it, as well.

“ He wasn’t putting on a show like some lawyers might do.

This was real, it was raw, and it hurt. He wanted them to see the authenticity of pain, his own pain.

He did it without pretending or acting.”

I admire how the author delivered each unique perspective and how vital it was to show all sides of the affected parties. It's definitely not for everyone, as it is something that should not be taken lightly. It made me hurt and sad and upset and it claws at you - it really does. It certainly is not for the faint-hearted, despite how mild the details were, but it's that overall knowledge of what it is, that makes it so deeply unnerving, and rightfully so.​ 😢 'Survivors are entitled to justice.' It was at times hard to read, for how you're kept in the dark about certain elements and yet the author still skillfully guided you toward the final reveal that left an ache in my heart.

It was so raw and captured so heartbreakingly that despite the outcome, there is still a lingering loss. But, there is a hopefulness to it, too, one that shines when Ace's final thoughts come to light.​ ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I would have liked the legal aspect to play more of a significant part, but I also understand that while it wasn't so much as addressing the sports affiliations for their neglect, but rather to show the indirect lasting effects of that shame and guilt and pain - the visceral hurt that neither parties involved can overcome - that really no money in the world can substitute for that hopeless feeling when knowing comes.​ 😔

*Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Kelly Green has written an impressive debut novel, tackling a difficult subject with sensitivity, insight, and nuance via a compelling storyline, intelligent plot structure, vivid scene setting, and believable, relatable characters you want to root for. I look forward to seeing what she takes on next.

An ambitious debut novel, well-plotted and well-crafted. Though the novel deals with fraught subject matter (sexual abuse of children), that will not be to every reader’s taste, the author treats her characters and the situations they find themselves in with sensitivity and care. The story has two main interwoven threads. The first thread, set in the 1990s, follows Robbie and Ace, a pair of young soccer players and close childhood friends, as they face a series of traumas that pile on them and their families as the result of Robbie’s victimization at the hands of an abuser. The second thread, set in in contemporary times, deals with a court case brought by Ace on behalf of Robbie, as the now adult friends attempt to find justice decades later. Though the novel toggles back and forth between the trial and scenes set in the past, Green, a lawyer, is at her best when she is depicting children—their friendships, their competitiveness, and their floundering attempts to navigate a world where adults do not always put their interests first. Green is equally effective when it comes to teasing out the sources of murky adult motives, hardly ever pure even in the best of us. All in all, a remarkable debut that asks important questions about the role of justice in a complex world.

Thank you NetGalley for giving me the chance to read this book ahead of time in exchange for a review. It didn't disappoint! Must read!!

This book was difficult to read and I imagine, even more difficult to write. The author chose to tell a story based in a very difficult subject and she did so with an appropriate level of sensitivity. She clearly has a good, well researched understanding of both of the topic and the legal system, which she is able to convey to the reader. The characters felt like real people and everything that happened in the story was so plausible this could read as nonfiction. The time jumps helped progress the story without requiring the characters to express themselves in real time. Where I struggled with this story were the courtroom scenes, which felt abbreviated and abridged. I also struggled with the varying levels of detail throughout the story. Some chapters provided too much, some not enough, and overall left me with an unbalanced feeling. I also felt like certain parts of the story were addressed and dealt with very quickly but others the reveal of information was dragged out across multiple chapters, without rhyme or reason. I think the author's restraint in describing the more graphic aspects of the story was ultimately to the detriment of the story. Perhaps my own background in similar work colors my opinions, but I truly believe that if you are going to shine a light in the dark places, you shouldn't limit where your flashlight goes. I appreciate the ARC from Netgalley.

Ms. Green's debut novel tackles the important and challenging subject matter of childhood sexual trauma in a compassionate and thought provoking manner. The story plays out over decades, which allows Ms. Green to interweave multiple sub-themes into the overall coherent structure, and also allows the characters to grow and evolve over a wide range of different geographical and temporal settings. The courtroom settings are extremely well paced, and it is clear that the author has drawn upon her extensive legal training and background to deliver an excellent story with a lively narrative. Overall, an impressive, interesting, and intellectually challenging novel. Based upon this book, Ms. Green has a bright future ahead of her.

What a gut punch. The shifting POVs of this novel are used well, something often difficult to do. The shadows and secrecy of child sexual abuse act like a murky disease, and the author writes about it with respect and full emotion. I was surprised at points, thinking that I figured out the who and what as the flashbacks unfolded, but was wrong. I would recommend this novel to readers of Picoult and Lamb.

This book was written with great sensitivity, especially given that it is the author's first novel.

Kelly Green knew the subject she was dealing with - child sexual abuse - would be hard to read about, especially for those who have experienced it. Her language is careful but not so careful it takes away from the quintessential horror, physical and emotional pain of those abused. Pain that they may continue to experience throughout their lifetime and which can be doubled or tripled if they seek to speak up about what happened to them.

When Knowing Comes is about that - Robbie, whose love of soccer and his childhood joy, were taken from him - chooses to speak up about what happened, chooses to ask the adults who had a responsibility to make sure of his safety recognize how they failed him and others. He chooses to speak up, though he will never achieve true justice because what happened to Robbie and others can never be adequately punished. What they went through cannot be erased or even dimmed by prison time for their attacker or even his death. Robbie's best friend and attorney "Ace" knows this and it demoralizes him. Ace was on the same soccer team, there when Robbie's assault was first revealed, friends with him through the pain, the therapy, the family uproar, even through his own anguish at the sudden loss of Ace's own father.

With reluctance, he brings the suit against the soccer league, but through the process of the trial, he begins to learn what truly happened, not only to Robbie and his family, but to Ace and his own family. In a real way, Robbie's story is also Ace's - the two of them are intertwined in a way Ace could never have dreamed. And when knowing comes, can he come through for his friend, for himself?

This book is not an escape of any kind. It is the type of book that makes one think. And feel. And perhaps, understand.

Thank you NetGalley for the early read.

When I read about the content of this book, I was immediately drawn to it, and wondered how childhood sexual abuse would be approached. Being such a sensitive topic, I think Green did a good job at attempting to peel back the layers that exist in a trauma of that nature.

What I wanted more of was the stories of the boys involved. The book cycles back to the time of the incident to current day in a trial. While I felt I had a decent grasp on who the characters were as children, I wanted to understand them better as adults to better see how the trauma impacted their lives.

It’s a difficult subject to write about, especially during the times when it was the point of view of the abuser. There were times when that point of view felt overly sexualized or problematic. Coach Sean talks about needing to change his sexuality, however it’s problematic that it’s never addressed that having a sexual desire for children is not a sexuality at all.

Overall, this was a read that holds your attention and leaves you wanting more. I appreciate Green for taking on this topic and bringing the story to life.

Kelly Green's debut novel, When Knowing Comes, is a gripping and challenging examination of intergenerational trauma, perseverance in the face of adversity, and the healing power of friendship. Through vivid scene-craft and vulnerable, relatable characters, Green guides the reader through complex landscapes—both legal and emotional—populated by compelling villains and those determined to resist them. When Knowing Comes will stay with you long after you've read the last page.

—Tomás Hulick Baiza, author of Delivery and A Purpose to Our Savagery

Expositiony at points. But in total a very well done novel showing the realities of abuse in a detailed way. Thanks for the arc

This was an enjoyable read. I liked the characters and the storyline and would recommend it to
a friend. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

Thank you to NetGalley for the early review copy of this book.

Please note this is a 3.5 star rating.

This book deals with some incredibly sensitive material, some of which was dealt with really well, and other pieces that could have done with a little more attention. I certainly admire the author for doing their best to tackle as much as they did, but I did feel that some facets of the story, particularly in the case of Ace, got a little muddled.

Some of the action borders a little too closely on exposition in its purest form, which can be a little much sometimes too. With that said, I do feel like the characters were really well balanced in here, and all of them had a requisite level of attention paid to their individual stories. There is a lot to be said of the nuance of abusive situations of all descriptions, and I do think a lot of this book was handled with sensitivity.

I do wish the trial at the end was a little more fleshed out too - I think there was a little more that could have been done here with the conclusion, and while I can see why it wrapped up where it did, I do wish there was a little more that we saw to add some more context.

The descriptions of the abuse also need to be flagged as done in a way that is sensitive and also enough to make the reader feel the necessary disgust and anger at what is occurring. I do think the character of JJ could have been a little more nuanced, or at least explained, but I do see what the intention was. This was a really solid read, and well worth the time for those hoping to educate themselves on what to look out for and what sufferers of abuse really go through.