If I Told You, I’d Have to Kiss You by Mae Marvel is the kind of sapphic spy romance you didn’t know you needed until it takes you hostage—in the best way possible. It’s a perfect cocktail of action, wit, emotional angst, and steamy tension. If Ms. and Ms. Smith had a queer reboot, this book would be front and center as the blueprint.

Yardley Whitmer, aka “the Unicorn,” is the kind of protagonist who struts into a room and immediately steals the scene—capable, stylish, and just detached enough to make you wonder what it would take to really crack her composure. Turns out the answer is KC Nolan, her ex-girlfriend-slash-hacker-extraordinaire, who’s been carrying more secrets than a burner phone. Their breakup was a disaster, made even worse by the fact that neither of them knew the other was living a double life. Honestly, the second they realize they’ve been working for the same agency all along? Chef’s kiss. The dramatic irony pays off in spades.

The banter between Yardley and KC is razor-sharp—equal parts flirtation and frustration, with just enough emotional vulnerability to make your heart ache in between the car chases and high-stakes missions. And yes, there are literal car chases. There’s also a linen closet moment that manages to be both ridiculous and swoon-worthy, because Mae Marvel knows exactly how to mix chaos with intimacy.

What makes this stand out, though, isn’t just the fun of spies falling in love (although that’s a massive perk). It’s the way the story grapples with identity and honesty. Yardley and KC are both trying to figure out if they can be their real selves when they’ve spent so long living behind layers of deception. The espionage plot—with its twists, betrayals, and globetrotting danger—is really a backdrop for a much more personal question: how do you trust someone you’ve already lied to a thousand times? The romance feels earned because both women have to confront their flaws and secrets, not just kiss their problems away (though, to be fair, there’s plenty of swoony kissing).

If there’s one area that felt slightly underwhelming, it’s that the villainous plot felt a little standard compared to how strong the personal stakes were. The spy antics were fun, but some of the secondary villains felt like stock characters pulled from a spy movie script. However, that’s easy to forgive when the heart of the story—Yardley and KC’s will-they-won’t-they (they will)—keeps you hooked.

Four stars because it’s exciting, funny, and emotionally satisfying, with just enough camp to make it a joyride rather than a slog through angst. It’s a standout sapphic romance that proves spies and second chances are a match made in heaven—or, in this case, a linen closet. I’ll definitely be recommending this to anyone who loves slow-burn tension, secret identities, and chaotic lovers on the run.

This is a story about two women who are spies for the CIA. Yardley is a field agent with a reputation as a legend in the agency with her very skillful spy craft. KC is an intelligence analyst who was recruited as a 14 year old hacker into government systems. Throughout the first half of the book, even though they live together, they don’t know each other is a spy.

I found it hard to believe that KC didn’t know that Yardley was a spy since she has access to tons of info. But if she wasn’t looking for it and Yardley was an expert at secrecy, then maybe ?

This book was somewhat tongue in check with humor mixed with spy craft. The writing style was unique in that I never felt like the author was trying to write a serious book. On the other hand there was a lot of philosophical advice thrown by the MCs thoughts and conversations with their mentors. The writing style was choppy at times. I thought it was like a Cliff Notes version of a John LeClarre novel. There were also several clever references to sapphic cliches written as allegories.

This was a unique read and different than most sapphic books that I’ve read. I look forward to reading more books by this team of authors.

ARC received from Net Galley for an honest and voluntary review.

Yardley y KC trabajan para la CIA: la primera es espía y la segunda, hacker. Son novias, pero no saben que ambas forman parte de la misma agencia. De hecho, cada una ha inventado un trabajo "normal" para no poner en peligro a la otra. Las mentiras se han acumulado a lo largo de los años, y su relación está a punto de terminar. Sin embargo, una misión las obliga a trabajar juntas, lo que las lleva a descubrir sus verdaderas identidades. Esto podría ser el comienzo de algo positivo que salve su relación, o algo negativo que la termine para siempre.

Disfruté de la lectura, aunque me hubiera gustado que el final de la misión no hubiera sido tan apresurado.




Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This book is a fun ride of CIA spy goodness and second chance romance. I’m not sure I’ve ever read a sapphic novel that had such a lovely blend of intricate plot and emotional prose.

First let’s talk romance. The MCs have just ended a 3-year relationship. That is until they find out they both work for the CIA. The book casually flip-flops between their inner dialogue as they decide will they/won’t they trust one another again. It took a minute to catch up on their history but by the end I was committed to seeing it through.

Now let’s talk spy stuff. The tech, disguises, and international travel was extremely fun. However, I’m not sure if I really grasped the stakes of their mission. The reason I dropped a star was because I kept waiting for a twist that never happened.

Overall, I was so excited to read a spy novel starring two proud lesbians. The writing was exceptionally good and I’ll happily read more by this author!

I love spy books, and this one exceeded all my expectations. The relationship between the 2 leads was so cute, and I love the trope of people learning someone they know is a secret agent/spy/superhero. I would definitely read more from this author, and this is already the 2nd or 3rd I’ve read of their books, and I enjoy each one.

3.5 stars this was fine! second chance and spies and i think i just was bored? it could have had more action or more twists on who the bad guy was since that was pretty obvious since chapter 1.

If you like KC Undercover you might like this. The sapphic romance was the highlight for me, there's an identity reveal and a few spicy scenes. The job/spy stuff I struggled to keep up with

As a die-hard fan of movies like Mr. And Mrs. Smith, I was SO excited to read this book! I love a good spy story, especially when you had a twist to it.

The premise of If I Told You, I'd Have To Kiss You was solid. We start out navigating a break-up, going through the heartbreak right alongside the FMCs, only to discover that they're both spies working for the same agency... and have no idea the other one is ALSO a spy! Drama ensues, especially as they head off on a mission together, facing the realities of their relationship along the way.

I'm not going to lie: I lost the plot halfway through the book. The premise WAS solid, but somewhere along the line it fell apart a bit. I'm not sure if it was the confusing amount of characters, with codenames and nicknames.. many of which started with the same letter? Or maybe it was the complicated spy/computer program plot that hinged on "the world is in danger" but felt overly complicated? It might also have been the fact that we changed locations quite a bit, which made it hard to stay focused on what was going on. I also found myself perturbed by having to google certain things, like "clerestory windows".. especially in a cutesy romance book.

All in all, I had really high hopes for this book, but it unfortunately fell flat.

Unfortunately, I did not finish this book.

I love the premise, found myself very curious about the characters, but I couldn't get into it. There are so many great reviews about this book and I might give it another go when it comes out.

I loved this fun read. It combines two genres I enjoy, lesfic romance and espionage thriller. Kept me invested and entertained the whole way through.

This is a really fun concept with a nice balance of plot and romance. The writing was done well and I enjoyed this, but I found myself wanting a little more at times.

While enjoyable, I did feel as though the actual espionage portion of the book fell a little flat. The authors tried to accomplish a lot in the short duration of this novel and it was pretty rushed. KC and Yardley were interesting enough characters to read about, and their romance was enough to make this book worthwhile.

Spy?? I’m here. Lady gays?? I’m here. The cover?? I’m on my knees, I’m here!

I really wanted to love this book because I love the concept. However the spy part kind of fell flat for me but the romance was great, just not enough to keep me going unfortunately. DNF at 41%

Thank you, Net Galley and St Martin’s Press for the advanced copy.

As a queer woman I LOVED this book. It was so much fun and reading it. Love. We love Sapphic love. I was def rooting for them to get back together. Admittedly I did get a bit lost for the spy stuff. But. That’s okay LOL.
There was roughly 3 sex scenes and I honestly would have been okay without the sex scenes. That said. It wasn’t super spicy. But that very last sex scene where they used an adult toy? Very realistic in sapphic relationships.

Overall def recommend my fellow gays to read this book for funsies.

Thank you so much to NetGalley for this book I had a hard time jumping into it. I would rate this a 3/5 I think it was good but something I wouldn’t pick up again.

Super fun! Especially if you liked Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

This is a Sapphic romance where both characters are spies but are unaware that their partner is one too. This made for a fun, action filled & thrilling read. I enjoyed both FMCs but will admit I felt for KC more. There's plenty of spy action while also maintaining the romance.

A fun read!

First, love the concept of this book. Ms. and Ms. Smith should absolutely be a thing and I think the characters in this were great choices for those roles. My hang up with this book is that there was entirely too much spying in the romance and not enough actual romancing. I just said in another review that I do not read for the plot and this book has a lot of plot and a lot of technical mission details and my eyes glazed over the way that they do when I am reading NF and there are details about troop movements. I wanted more feelings is all.

<i>Thank you to the publisher and NetGally for the ARC.</i>

Second-generation spy Yardley Whitmer, code name “the Unicorn,” can do no wrong. With her combination of debutante-style charm and expert spycraft, she’s become an instant legend in the field. If only finally moving out of her girlfriend’s home were as easy as rappelling off the Eiffel Tower. But living a full-time cover story has slowly eroded her relationship with KC until there’s nothing left but lies.

KC “Tabasco” Nolan, hacker extraordinaire, can crack anything—except the code that would tell her the right moment to confess her secret job to Yardley. Now it’s too late, and she’s in danger of losing the best chance at love she’s ever had.

When an undercover shakedown goes wrong, Yardley and KC discover the unbelievable truth—that they are Unicorn and Tabasco, and they’ve both been working with the agency for years. To salvage the mission, they’re compelled to partner up and fly across oceans, race through winding European streets, and give in to inconvenient passion while hiding in an ambassador’s linen closet.

This book was so much fun. I love a romance with a solid plotline (which a lot of them don't so much). The high-action thriller side of this was a ton of fun and kept me turning pages. The characters were relatable. There were a lot of high emotions, and that elevated the book rather than drag it down. Overall, I really enjoyed this. 4.5⭐

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the advanced digital reader's copy (ARC) in exchange for an honest review!

This book ended up not being my cup of tea. There were a few things that didn’t work for me, but I think readers with different preferences than me would enjoy the book!

First, both the protagonist and her love interest work for the CIA. Yardley (the protagonist) sees working for the CIA as unquestionably good and patriotic. Given the actions of the CIA in the real world, I disliked that the narrative never challenged the assumption that everything the CIA does is good.

This book seemed evenly split between the action/adventure plot (trying to get a weapon out of the hands of a bad guy) and the second chance romance. For me, it felt like neither half was fully explored or developed. I never totally understand the how and why of the spy mission and I also felt like I didn’t know the characters that well by the end of the novel. I didn’t emotionally connect with the characters or end up invested in their relationship.

The writing style also wasn’t my favorite because it was pretty heavy on describing the characters’ internal thought processes.

Overall, I don’t think I’d recommend this book if you have similar tastes to me. However, you might enjoy this book if you are a fan of spy novels and like your romance stories to come with a lot of action and external plot.

Thanks to NetGalley for a copy of this book!

Highlights:
- comes out June 2025
- open door spicy scenes
- spies on a mission
- secret identities
- 2nd chance romance

I absolutely love this book! Just enough spy thriller, romance, humor, and SPICE to make you read it in one sitting. Being from the South and having lived in the DC world this hit so many notes of familiarity for me with the caricatures of people I've encountered over the years.

I would love to come back to KC and Yardley's world down the road and I can't wait to read what the Mae Marvel team writes.

I received an ARC from Netgalley and the publisher for an honest review.