The Imagined Life was a super interesting read. I loved the character study and the writing felt propulsive. I'd read more from the author.

I really enjoyed this. This is a story told by a man whose marriage and relationship to his son are fracturing, He embarks on a trip to investigate his relationship to his own father, who disappeared when he was twelve. He learns more and more about his father, and his mother through friends of his father along the way. Do you really know who your parents are as people?

Thank you Netgalley and Knopf for the ARC. My opinions are my own.

4.5 stars

This story felt so lived in an real. The setting both dream like and realistic, in the way that memoies often are. Bittersweet and atmospheric. I wanted the story to keep going, to pull further at the unraveling threads. I really enjoyed this read.

Thank you NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage, and Anchor!

Not gonna lie, I’ve been in a reading SLUMP. So this book took me longer than normal to get through. But it was a solid 4/5. The Imagined Life takes is on an emotional journey of losing someone close to us. Not as a result of death, but as a result of choices made in life.
It goes to show that the life we live isn’t always the life we imagined, and to take each day as it comes with hopes that it does.

Thank you to @netgalley and the publisher for a copy in exhange for my honest review.

#theimaginedlife #bookstagram #booksonaburger

A compellingly readable novel about a son’s quest to understand his father, his parents’ relationship, and himself. It is also a multi-layered story of how mental illness in a family is like a pebble tossed into a pond.: The resulting ripples just keep expanding.
Andrew Porter is exceptionally adept at creating believable depth in his characters with precise and insightful observations of their behavior and meaningful dialog. He does not waste words or time yet fills the pages with deep emotion and elegantly designed portrayals of time and place. Set throughout California he takes the reader on a journey through Steven’s life and the varying cultures of the Golden State. Highly recommended.

"The Imagined Life" is what we have - at best, when we think back on what our parents were like, and what their lives were like. We can never know our parents as other people - not even thinking of the generation gap, there's the sheer fact that they have their lives, and then had us. Many of us go through lives, filling in those gaps in realization with vignettes - some real and some imaginary. There's just no way we can fathom their lives, no matter what impact their lives have had on us or our lives.

The novel's protagonist, Steven, is struggling to come to terms to what his father must have gone through, at a momentous point in his life. Steven is just twelve at that time, but carries indelible memories from the time - memories of late night parties, of breathless and breathtaking time spent with his then-best friend Chau, of tender but only-ever-half-understood time spent along with his mother while father was elsewhere. Decades have passed since, but something in Steven's mind and psyche won't let him go of the past, without at least trying to decipher what those cryptic times and words and recollections amounted to, and what actually happened to his father, and why.

He doesn't have his father to talk to, his mother too has since passed away, and so he must retrace his steps from that time, like a devotee follower revisiting the steps of his idol, hoping that somehow doing that will make him see the light of the day, and reveal to him some grand truths, that will make sense of what can otherwise perhaps charitably be described as jagged pieces. It's a bit like assembling the broken pieces of a mirror, in the hope of reconstructing the image that was seen in it. Of course, that's impossible, and perhaps Steven knows it too. Like a true pilgrim then, he aims to go through the steps, and have faith that his efforts will either get him answers or make the questions fade away into irrelevance.

There is some lyrical and expressive writing here, that time and again - at least for me - felt reminiscent of "The Wonder Years". There are innumerable sections and descriptions, that begin with the words "I remember...". By the end, it veers towards being tiresome but thankfully never really gets there. Memories of one's childhood are always like looking through frosted glass - never clear, but always prettier than they perhaps would have been. So it is here as well. He looks back fondly on time spent with his father, time that on hindsight seems and looks even to us as woefully too little. Instead, he goes through times with his mother many times just complaining or talking about times with his father, not realizing until much later in his life how cruel and inconsiderate he had been with her all that time. Granted he wasn't there, but she was - all the way. But of course, what child appreciates what he has and stops asking for what he doesn't and can't have.

By the end, however, when the book gently seems to be steering towards a closure of sorts, a description of a particular movie Stephen went to the theater to see with his father comes surprisingly close to describing how his pilgrimage is perhaps going to turn out to be.

"Years later, I'd learn about subverting the conventions of the mystery genre, of circumventing tropes, but at the time it just seemed bizarre to me, bizarre to me and sad. Why would someone go to the trouble of making a mystery, only to provide no answer to that mystery in the end? It seemed to make no sense."

And yet, that's what he finds happening of his efforts. Try as he might, while he has been finding pieces, the picture is clearly not complete, and perhaps never will be.

Another time, describing a particular house he recalls he went to once, he says:

"The house we went to that day has only ever existed to me in dreams. I know now that it was a real place, a real place that existed in 1984, but I have never been able to find it again. Even in high school, when I used to drive around the winding hills of Hollywood, looking for familiar landmarks, houses or street signs that might seem recognizable, that might jog my memory, I never found it. I'd end up circling around and around for hours, but never with any luck. Later, I'd try to retrace my steps and realize I was lost."

Ultimately, in the best of storytelling traditions, he is lost, and he is found. He finds his Dad, only to realize that one of the main reasons it took so long to find him and find the truth about him was that he, Steve, never really tried.

Melancholy is the most prominent underlying theme here, and that alone is worth the effort of reading this.

Thanks to NetGalley, Knopf and the author, for an eARC of the book.

I enjoyed this book. As the description says it’s elegiac and for me it read quite quickly. It had that sort of summer malaise feeling which I enjoyed as well as the introspection but it wasn’t like jaw-dropping writing. Would recommend

I received an advanced reader copy (ARC) of The Imagined Life in exchange for an honest review on my Goodreads page.

The Imagined Life tells the story of Steven Mills’ search for his estranged father, who vanished from his family se 40 years ago. The narrative unfolds in an engaging back-and-forth style, blending the present-day journey with flashbacks to the past. What truly stood out to me was how the novel also serves as a love letter to California and the vibrant culture of the 1980s. For anyone who holds a deep sense of nostalgia for that era, this book will be a treasure.

The writing is evocative, with beautifully crafted passages that touch on universal themes—family dynamics, the complexity of father-son relationships, the pain of failure, and the enduring hope for the future.

If you’re a fan of richly woven stories that evoke both personal introspection and nostalgic delight, I highly recommend picking it up when it’s released on April 15th!

This was such an interesting and layered read. The writing really pulled me in, and I loved how it explored identity and memory in a unique way. There were a few spots where I wished things moved faster, but overall, it was a thoughtful story that stuck with me after I finished. A great choice if you’re in the mood for something a bit different!

A man, who's in the middle of his own existential crisis, goes on a quest to find out what happened to his father, who disappeared from his life when he was eleven years old.
This was told in two timelines: flashbacks to the summer of the disappearance, and the present when he's asking old friends and relatives about his dad. Both timelines were boring.
Thanks to #netgalley and #knopf for this #arc of #theimaginedlife in exchange for an honest review.

The author captured the time period of this book in a realistic manner. The subject manner is compelling and kept my interest throughout the book. There are so many layers to unwrap in this stressful story. I would highly recommend this book.

I loved this book because it was something different than I would pick up for myself. I was immediately interested in the book because of the title and cover, but the description was different. This book was hard to read in some places I am still working through my wounds, but it was a great reminder that I am not alone.

The Short of It:

You know that feeling of gently working your way through a story because it’s just so good? No? Read this.

The Rest of It:

Steven Mills has reached a crossroads. His wife and son have left, and they may not return. Which leaves him determined to find out what happened to his own father, a brilliant, charismatic professor who disappeared in 1984 when Steve was twelve, on a wave of ignominy. ~ the publisher

Steven’s family lives in a nice, Orange County neighborhood. His parents host pool parties, movie nights and are surrounded by academia everywhere they look. Their friends, professors themselves. They talk education and research and accomplishments. This is a touchy subject.

Steven’s father is brilliant and happily married but his quest for tenure at the university puts a strain on his marriage and family. This is where I tread carefully when I say that the undue strain of jumping through academic hoops to prove his worth leads him down a path of no return.

Let me paint the picture. Warm California evenings, a cabana house, plentiful liquor and jovial conversation. Attractive, powerful colleagues and a man who wants that for himself. The casual, friendly interactions fueled by drink, slowly become something more.

Twelve-year-old Steven senses a shift as he watches these parties unfold. Observing these parties from the privacy of his room, he notices the familiarity of good friends but also the tension, mostly in how his own mother reacts to what is going on.

What is going on?

Steven is very close to his mother so when she returns to the house after these parties, he knows she is hurting. He’s not entirely sure why or what he can do for her, but he feels compelled to be there for her.

What he does, is gently explore his father’s thoughts. Walking out to join him after the guests have left. Listening to his plan to publish his book and earn tenure. As good a guy as his dad is, Steven knows that he’s a dreamer. Never has been much of a realist. He takes this with a grain of salt.

For a young boy, navigating the delicate nature of his parent’s marriage and also figuring out what he desires for himself, proves to be complicated.

We see Steven as an adult, dealing with his own personal issues but ever present is his quest to figure out what happened to his father that year he went missing. When everything blew up and his father left without a trace.

This is a tender story about so many things. Family, the relationship between a mother and a son, a father and a son, Steven’s coming of age and how all of it influences his own family as an adult. It’s about identity and value and sacrifices made for the sake of your family.

The last few chapters were breathtakingly beautiful. I re-read them, sat with them awhile and felt the weight of Steven’s memories.

So good.

When your life in the present collapses, you look to the past. It's natural to make the trip back over any life, no matter how deeply quotidian it was. To know who you are you need a vantage point to look at the whole of it from and kidhood's the natural one to choose.

There's a reason this plot's an evergreen; for a reason as basic as growing old, that much-resented thing no one guaranteed the privilege of doing. Among male writers, anyway...Falconer by John Cheever, Montana 1948 by Larry Watson are two favorites of mine. I hope you're all at least passingly familiar with them so the next bit will make sense.

Looking for your father is probably the most commonly human thing a man does in his life. Fathers are often gone, voluntarily or not...wars, jobs, or simple absence of love for the mother are all ordinary reasons for Dad to book it out the door. Does it pay to know why? I can only say it's so uniquely difficult to accomplish this feat of vanishing now that maybe it did then, but not now.

Which is at the heart of my issue with this book: It evokes a day I lived in, and does it well; but it took the narrator decades to decide to search for his father with today's incredible web of tech? Then when he decides to do it in the ashes of his own family, it's to find out who's to blame for his brokenness? Therapy first, my dude, then when you have a framework to cope with the damage done to you, find the perp. It isn't like he didn't have literal decades of living in the modern world to figure out he was wounded. It's a realistic thing, taking your time to find out the wounds inflicted on you. It's not like there's a timetable. The reason it didn't sit all the way right with me is down to my having lived through those years where awakening followed awakening. The narrator's way too smart and too savvy not to have seen them, too.
Still and all, I read the story with a lot of nodding along, a good bit of emotional investment, and a strong interest in seeing where the resolution to his growth spurt would lead. I was...okay with the resolution. I'm making my issues loom large only to show y'all why a full four stars is such a strong testament to Author Porter's writing talents.

⚠️I'll include a content warning at the end of the review. ⚠️

4.25 ⭐

Raw, poignant, and brave, <i>The Imagined Life</i> is daring not only in its exploration of a family in crisis but being bold enough to show realistic hope in the face of generational trauma. The thing about hope in these situations is it takes work and most of it is unpleasant. The story felt honest in both the writing approach and the plot. The first-person narrative felt voyeuristic it often seemed as though reading it was crossing a line.

In an effort to save his own struggling marriage and be a better father Steven Mills decides to dig through his own memories and meet with his father's friends and colleagues to uncover the truth of what led to his father abandoning him in 1984. Steven hasn't seen his father since he was twelve years old; his father has been missing ever since.

Steven discusses being eleven- and twelve-years old living in California, his father is a brilliant, yet troubled college professor. The Mills's home is known for throwing adult pool parties. His father was fixated on receiving tenure and often experienced mania while focused on that goal and spiraled into unstable moods when met with resistance. The author's portrayal of mental illness was convincing. I noticed that many characters were trying to keep sad truths from Steven both as a boy and a man. And then the charming charismatic part of his father's personality his incredible skills and patience as a teacher adored by students which most discussed.

Steven's character had more to come to terms with than one novel could allow for and I like that because it conveys the gritty truth about overcoming hardships and damage. The road to healing is ongoing.

I understood Steven's emotions and the tendency to hide from them without realizing it. When you're a child around adults who aren't able to master their own emotions, it can become a survival mechanism to make your own feelings smaller or silence them altogether. This novel was thought provoking and will cross my mind often.

Content Warning
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alcoholism/binge drinking
drug use
mental illness
infidelity


Thank you to NetGalley and Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage, and Anchor | Knopf for providing an Advance Reading Copy. All opinions are my own.

"The Imagined Life" by Andrew Porter is a memoir-like work of fiction that has at its core a set of questions that almost everyone at one time or another has reflected upon...

●Can a person, in their youth, ever truly *see* their father or mother beyond the filter of parenthood? Do our broader adult experiences allow for a less filtered understanding?

●When can one objectively begin to understand all of the intricately woven threads within the family relationship tapestry?

●Can a better understanding of the dynamics of some familial relationships be rooted in both the factual and the imagined... and still be true??

The reader travels this road of discovery with Steven, a family man at an emotional crossroads. His life has been haunted by incomplete memories of his brilliant, troubled, enigmatic father, a man who disappeared from the family following harrowing years of domestic, financial, and career instability An overarching uncertainty for all members of the family (both before and after the father's disappearance) seems to have its source in the mental health challenges of the father. Now, as an adult, Steven is determined to find answers to his questions and to give voice to the unspoken *truths* within his family's story lest he repeat them within his own.

My thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the advanced copy of Andrew Porter's "The Imagined Life."

#TheImaginedLife
#AndrewPorter
#NetGalley

After Steven's own marriage and relationship with his son fails, he realizes it's finally time to confront his past. When he was 12 years old, his father abandoned him and his mother but he wasn't ever really sure why. As a kid, his dad was a professor and working towards tenure. He hosted backyard pool parties and movie screenings, but there was a sudden shift in life as this family knew it when he was denied tenure. Shortly after that decision, Steven's father left and he never saw him again.

The pacing of this book moves very, very slow. The writing is excellent so it didn't really bother me, but I could see it being an issue for some readers. This is a character study in the slow decline of a family, and for me, it was fascinating. The insightfulness into marriage, fatherhood, family secrets, acceptance and forgiveness gave me a lot to think about and analyze. The setting was super atmospheric, and in some ways, Steven's life was idyllic.

This book won't be for everyone and it does need good timing in order for it to be a successful read. Many will find it slow, but if a slow burn, deep character analysis is something you enjoy, this is a great book!

Andrew Porter is a beautiful writer. Reading his description of being a kid listening to his parents' parties brought me back to that same time in my life listening to my Mom and Dad shed their "parent voices" and show a different side of themselves than I knew existed. This novel reads like a memoir - a really good memoir learning about the choices your parents made in life and how that influenced you becoming YOU. It's a serene, thoughtful book that I really liked. Thanks to the publisher for the advanced copy!

This is a beautifully written coming of age story about a boy growing up in California, his unstable father, and his mother who holds it all together. The father is a professor whose tenure depends on the publication of his book, the cause of so much of the tension at home. While the parents host many pool parties with lots of shenanigans, there's a darkness to this life as the father slips deeper into mental illness. The son is a witness to it all while navigating adolescence. He spends a good deal of his adult life processing his anger at his father yet imagining what his life could have been. Set in the late 70s-early 80s, the narrative feels almost dreamy. Written like a memoir, it's not a page turner but more of an introspective novel that hit home for me.

The Imagined Life's, author, Andrew Porter, has his characters focus on many tough issues - mental illness, sexuality, and self worth.

Steven Mills, now in his 50s and separated from his wife and young son. is on a quest for answers, a quest for discovery and also self-discovery. Steven's father, a college English professor, abandoned Steven and his mother four decades ago after not being granted tenure. I feel that Steven not only wants answers about his dad's departure but also about his own life. How much did that impactful summer of '84 aid in molding Steven into who he is today?

The timeline alternates between 1984 and present day when Steven scours the California coastline seeking out old acquaintances of his father's. His dad was not only gifted, but also a tortured soul who was continually searching for happiness and a "fit" in the California niche as he hosted pool parties and many times ignored family life.

There are many essential questions in the novel - 1) Would Steven's family life had been drastically different if his dad had been granted tenure, and would he, his mother and father been living the "imagined life" that his dad referenced? 2) Exactly why did Steven's father abandon his family? 3) Lastly, has Steven inherited some of his father's traits?

The plot of the novel was both nostalgic and heartbreaking at the same time. For those of you who enjoy novels centered on family dynamics and searching for answers, truth, and discovery, Andrew Porter's Imagined Life hit shelves April 15th. Thank you, NetGalley and Knopf, for the opportunity to preview this ARC.