Dean Elspeth Flowers will let nothing--nothing--stand in the way of plans to catapult her backwater state law school into the U.S. News & World Report Top 5. But tensions between the school's warring factions--the Quants, Poets and Bog Dwellers--imperil her plans. So, too, in this rollicking satire do the errant pursuits of her faculty and the maneuverings of a mail room clerk with a business plan of his own to radically transform the school.

The arrival of an outside committee to conduct the law school's required seven-year accreditation review threatens to expose the school's deepest secrets and forces the dean to confront her own darkest demons.

A romp through the legal academy, Legal Asylum asks the hardest question facing higher education in America today: Can a school make it into the exalted realm of the U.S. News Top 5 and lose its accreditation, all in the same year?