The Marriage You Do Not Deserve

The Marriage You Do Not Deserve is the product of 20 years of Christian marriage research, wisdom, and teaching. This book was written for Christian women and men looking forward to marriage, or those already married, seeking to learn more about God’s institution. A caution for those who reject God or the notion of a God who would send His son to Earth in order to walk with His creation and suffer the ultimate penalty for our rebellion. This book is grounded in the Christian Bible. If you do not have a relationship with Christ but are open to learning more about Him, then you should receive a great deal of revelation from this book.

This book is intended to offend its audience. As strange as that might sound, I have learned that few people learn and embrace new concepts from the safety of their comfort zone. The ideas in this book are intended to get under your skin, expose the depths of your selfish nature, and educate you to the amazing institution of marriage that God intended for His children. The number one cause of divorce in the world is not money, communication or lack of sex; rather, divorce is the outcome of our self-centered nature and the material pursuit of happiness. 

This book explains how we were created—body, mind, and soul. Each area is explored in depth, in relation to our part in a Christian marriage. While both the wife and the husband have equal value in God’s eyes, we were created and intended to perform very different roles within His marriage construct. The book explores the history of marriage in the Bible, how our brains were designed for social interaction and relationship, how our bodies were designed for sex, and how getting marriage right leaves a Godly legacy for generations to come.

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Lance Bell and his wife Lori have been leading marriage Sunday School classes, couples’ community groups, marriage workshops and retreats since 1998. Lance is the President of the Christian Leadership Ministries, a non-profi t organization with the mission of disciplining adult men and women on how to be Christ-following spouses, parents, and leaders. Lance and Lori are leaders in the marriage ministry of Christ Community Church in St. Charles, IL. Lance currently leads a men’s Bible study and is co-founder and leader of Band of Brothers, a peer group for Christian business owners and executives. 

Lance and Lori to begin leading marriage ministries when after six years of marriage, God revealed that they didn’t know how to be married according to His will and plan. Since 1998, they studied and then taught most every major Christian marriage program available. After collecting and teaching a considerable amount of subject matter, in 2013 Lance received the inspiration to author this book.