SAINT UNSHAMED: A GAY MORMON'S LIFE

Healing From the Shame of Religion, Rape, Conversion Therapy & Cancer To Find My True Self

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Pub Date 07 Mar 2019 | Archive Date 02 Feb 2019
Lynn Wolf Enterprises | Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA), Members' Titles

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Description

The first paragraph of Kerry Ashton's new memoir explains a lot: “I told this story once as fiction in the 1980s, but this time I tell the truth. I even tell the truth, in #MeToo fashion, about being violently raped by another man when I was 18, with a knife held to my throat—a secret I kept from everyone, including myself, for over 40 years. The rape, like other experiences I endured while a student at Brigham Young University, where I came out in the early 1970s, had a profound impact on my later life. But this story is not so much about my rape or my coming of age at BYU, as it is about the lifelong effects of shame itself, not only about how I internalized and inherited a wounding shame from my Mormon upbringing, but also how I eventually unshamed myself. It is about the journey of a lifetime, finding spiritual growth, self-discovery and healing along the way, while encountering many miraculous events that pushed me forward through darkness toward the light.”

Telling about his experiences during his four years at BYU—the rape, falling in love for the first time, police surveillance, harassment and arrest, while enduring three years of conversion therapy, including two years of electroshock treatments—provide the structure of Kerry Ashton’s memoir. But intermittently he shares memories from growing up Mormon in Pocatello, Idaho, and from his adulthood. In one episode, the author talks about his mother’s passing, and how he unconsciously blamed himself for her death. In others, Kerry describes some of the battles with his religious father, and how he and his Dad eventually came to forgive each other. These stories, like many others shared in the book, are poignant. Some—like the description that Kerry provides of his rape—are sexually graphic. Some stories are hilarious. And some are dramatic, like those dealing with the domestic violence Kerry endured as a child. The author also shares memories from his professional career as an actor and writer, both in L.A. and NYC, describing his personal encounters with stars like Barbra Streisand, Elizabeth Taylor, Bette Davis and Julie Harris, while sharing his experiences with famed writers Tennessee Williams, James Leo Herlihy (author of MIDNIGHT COWBOY), and John Rechy (author of THE SEXUAL OUTLAW), as well as his brief but profound affair with Steven Sondheim. Lastly, the author talks about the 12 years he spent in therapy, about his 16-year battle with a rare and disabling cancer only recently won, and about his sexual journey that led him through S&M, kinky sex, and the leather scene, to the loving monogamous relationship he now enjoys. All of the stories that Ashton shares from his life deal with shame, either in how the author internalized shame and turned it against himself, or how he later rid himself of most of it to become a SAINT UNSHAMED.

The first paragraph of Kerry Ashton's new memoir explains a lot: “I told this story once as fiction in the 1980s, but this time I tell the truth. I even tell the truth, in #MeToo fashion, about being...


A Note From the Publisher

Ebook 9780692170526 at $9.99

Ebook 9780692170526 at $9.99


Advance Praise

WHAT CRITICS HAVE SAID ABOUT KERRY ASHTON'S PREVIOUS WORK:

"A lot of care and time have clearly been lavished on this impressively mounted" work. Ben Brantley, THE NEW YORK TIME

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"Kerry Ashton has an impressive list of credits, and is clearly a talent to be encouraged!" Byron Belt, NEWHOUSE NEWSPAPERS

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"Amusing and touching! Remarkable and superb! Ashton's style and wit are so quick as to leave us dazed. If the renaissance man has returned to our midst, his name must surely be KERRY ASHTON!" Martin Schaeffer, NEW YORK THEATER WEEK

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"Succeeds exceptionally well! Entertaining and moving!" John Mahoney, LOS ANGELES TIMES

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"Truly splendid! Ashton is mesmerizing, breathtaking, and utterly magnificent!" Jack Bradford, THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

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"Brilliant! A triumph not to be missed! Ashton proves himself to be one of the most versatile and mutli-talented artists to emerge in the last several years!" Sven Rye, THE HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS

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"A touching and human portrait, amusing and poignant ... a timely illustration!" Susan Forscey, LOS ANGELES HERALD EXAMINER

WHAT CRITICS HAVE SAID ABOUT KERRY ASHTON'S PREVIOUS WORK:

"A lot of care and time have clearly been lavished on this impressively mounted" work. Ben Brantley, THE NEW YORK TIME

••••••••

"Kerry Ashton...


Marketing Plan

The book will be reviewed by Kirkus Books, Clarion Books, BlueInk Reviews, Online Book Club, and is being submitted to BookLife (American Library Association), Publishers Weekly, and the Library Journal for their review. Also, GoodReads and other sites attracting book lovers.

The book will be reviewed by Kirkus Books, Clarion Books, BlueInk Reviews, Online Book Club, and is being submitted to BookLife (American Library Association), Publishers Weekly, and the Library...


Available Editions

EDITION Hardcover
ISBN 9780692170519
PRICE $28.95 (USD)

Average rating from 4 members


Featured Reviews

If you want to know what it's like to be Mormon, this book is accurate, especially if you are homosexual. I was surprised when a friend said that she no longer attended the LDS church because they didn't like her much, since she is a lesbian. After reading this book, I can see some of the experiences she might have had. You might not want to read this book if you don't care to know about the sexual side of being a male homosexual as this book spells it out clearly... not very pleasant reading. The story was a bit disjointed, constantly jumping back and forth in time. It would have been easier to follow if it had been written in chronological order.

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This was a difficult book to read in many ways - mainly because of the honesty of the author and the brutal experiences he had to go through as a gay man in the Mormon church in the 1970s. I really really really hope the church does not still do 'conversion therapy'. That the author managed to come through his experiences is a testament to his strength. Thank you to NetGalley for providing this book to me in exchange for an honest review. It's hard to say I enjoyed this book as it dealt with such difficult subject matter, but it was a book worth reading.

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Hands down, one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Kerry Ashton bears every remarkable, horrifying, inspiring and deeply personal detail of his life. Sparing nothing, this is as raw and real as any memoir can get.

I held off writing this review, hoping the right words would come to me, but I'm still struggling to capture how deeply affected I was by this intense work. Ashton has bared his soul, giving us a profound gift of his words.

Ashton shares his story perfectly, alternating the distant past with more recent experiences; which prevents the journey from ever being too 'heavy' for the reader. Though Ashton's life has been quite different from mine, I could completely relate to difficult themes of the roles that religion and the search for self acceptance play in our lives. Ashton describes with profound clarity, his personal journey, in a way few authors have been able to articulate.

Though the title accurately captures the content of the book, it doesn't celebrate the spirit and inspiration of Ashton's words. I feel blessed to have found this- and taken the remarkable journey that carried me through, page after page. I can't recommend this highly enough.

I received a copy from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

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