Not If, When

Lyme Disease in Verse

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Pub Date Aug 25 2020 | Archive Date Oct 01 2020

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Description

Even the most integrative, supportive doctor can only do so much for an individual during the worst period of healing from Lyme. The process looks different for everyone, but a patient must feel significantly worse before they begin to recover. When Lyme bacteria (or other coinfections) are first attacked by antibiotics, herbs, or other treatment, they release toxins into the body quicker than they can be dispelled. This is called a Jarisch-Herxheimer (Herx) reaction, and it can often include panic attacks, brain fog, paranoia, depression, pain, affected vision, racing heartrate, dysfunctional thyroid, disrupted digestion, severe confusion, and amnesia among many other symptoms. Herxing, in other words, is a complete—and sometimes seemingly unending—nightmare. When you’ve fretted about that frustrating doctor all night and Herxed all day, these autobiographical poems may go down smoother than a pill. Arranged chronologically in the order that they were written, they move from devastation to determination, addressing the various frustrations and dynamics of living with chronic Lyme disease—the isolation, the trauma, the fear—and also providing a voice of solidarity and inspiration for those suffering from this devastating illness. Written as a love letter for Lyme patients who are running out of patience, as well as for their family and friends, Not If, When is a clear-eyed, defiant, and poignant exploration of what it means to live—and sometimes even thrive—with Lyme.

Even the most integrative, supportive doctor can only do so much for an individual during the worst period of healing from Lyme. The process looks different for everyone, but a patient must feel...


A Note From the Publisher

Author is available for interviews, blog tours, autographed tours, autographed book giveaways, contests, and book club discussions.

Author is available for interviews, blog tours, autographed tours, autographed book giveaways, contests, and book club discussions.


Advance Praise

“As I began reading Not If, When, I started shaking my head . . . and never stopped. Gail Tierney uncovers the nightmare logic of a creeping disease. There’s strength in these passionate poems, but also a profound fragility. Most notably, there’s no guardedness. Tierney inscribes her body into poetry—exposes this ‘secret’ disease to feel it real—and, ultimately, reclaims her life as her own, her unabashed courage released.” — Chris Green, author of Everywhere West

“Not If, When shows the ugly, heartbreaking, and beautiful parts of Lyme disease and the strength it takes to fight. The poems are so raw that you feel like you are a part of the journey as you are reading. I recommend that all people who are dealing with Lyme read this. It can be a light in the darkness or an understanding friend when you need someone.”— Melanie, Lyme Warrior

“A hard and important collection that chronicles one person’s questions, letdowns, and successes. In that one person’s story, many others with chronic illnesses may see themselves and have words and a sense of solidarity they didn’t know they could ever receive. The importance of this sense of community cannot be overstated. These poems serve as gorgeous and gritty reminders of how long and winding the journey so often is. And in that winding, Gail Tierney lets in hope in many forms as something that sinks, sneaks, and occasionally saves.” — Emmie Arnold, Fibromyalgia Fighter

“Tierney has captured the thoughts and emotions that I have spent most of my time hoping someone else could communicate for me. Those things that embarrass, make me proud, plague me, bring me hope, and keep my 'little body' taking one small breath after another. Tierney describes what it's like to regularly look Death in the face, be upset by it and then to laugh at and with it. In doing so, she becomes friends with Death itself and all those who have done the same.”— Alisa Hovagimian Unell, Lupus Warrior






“As I began reading Not If, When, I started shaking my head . . . and never stopped. Gail Tierney uncovers the nightmare logic of a creeping disease. There’s strength in these passionate poems, but...


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Available Editions

EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9781631527357
PRICE $16.95 (USD)
PAGES 136

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