Bluffer's Guide to Being a Grandparent

Aimed at today’s modern generation of grandparents who refuse to be treated as bufuddled old dears, this award-worthy book will take you through a hilarious series of scientifically questionablequizzes, flowcharts, comedy tips, role-playing exercises, celebrity advice and checklists. As if your kids hadn’t done enough damage - now they’ve gone and made you a grandparent. And at your age!Well don’t panic! Yet. This book will arm you with the essential cheats and tricks the so-called experts don’t dare tell you. Covering everything from believable excuses to get out of babysitting and how to tell your daughter she’s a hopeless mum to ways not to have your house destroyed, how to avoid being dumped in a home and a handy guide to interpreting teen speak that’s so lol, you’ll rofl. Learn coping strategies for a daughter-in-law from hell, the perils of the granny flat and discover if you’re already losing your memory. Find out: What to do if your grandchild is ugly Which swear words are appropriate for oldies How to steer your daughter away from choosing ridiculous names Ways to make your grandkids think you’re a ‘funky crumbly’ How to invent a more interesting family tree What happens when grannies go evil Ideas for amusing last words Whether your grandson is an emo, a nerd or a neek. Simple ways to make your war stories more exciting Plus! Find out if you’re already losing your memory. Of course you could read a normal book on grandparenting full of ‘useful advice’, nice, fluffy ways to bond with your grandchild and Oprah-inspired tips on modern child rearing. Yes, it might make you a better grandparent. But at what cost? Your children have an agenda here, and you need to understand what it is. Even now, they are plotting ways to exploit your energy, money and Tim Tams. With this book, the fight back begins…