Chomp, Chomp, Chomp

How I Survived a Bear Attack and Other Harrowing Tales

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Pub Date Oct 13 2012 | Archive Date Nov 15 2013
Kindle | Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA) Members' Titles

Description


"…How many people wake up one morning, take a deep breath of clean mountain air and say to themselves 'Wow. What a great day! I think I'll go out and get myself mauled by a bear'? This one's not quite full-grown, and it's haunched down like a dog, tensed and coiled and ready to spring. We make eye contact for the merest fraction of a second, and in this moment I know exactly what's coming…." -Chomp, Chomp, Chomp Copyright 2012 by ahansen

In this compilation of latter day Grimm's Fairy Tales, Allena Hansen introduces the smart-assed socialite and full-contact gardener Hunter S. Thompson once toasted as "The distaff Hunter S. Thompson" and muckraker Andrew Breitbart called out in a roomful of Republican bigwigs as "The coolest person in the room".

Offering herself up as a cautionary example, Ms. Hansen poses the age-old question, 'What makes a survivor?" Read this book and remain as puzzled as ever, but you'll likely marvel at her uncompromisingly bad judgment and uncanny resilience—and you just might learn something that could save your life.

"…How many people wake up one morning, take a deep breath of clean mountain air and say to themselves 'Wow. What a great day! I think I'll go out and get myself mauled by a bear'? This one's not...

Advance Praise

"Allena is a wonderful story teller"
-TaraH

"This book is a real page turner I LOVED!
-JohnW

"...a story of remarkable courage, bolstered by a dry and hilarious wit that runs through the book like a thread of gold. I loved this book. A great story, brilliantly written."
-Matthew Rosemier

"5.0 out of 5 stars Required Reading for Men Who Date Beautiful, Intelligent and Independent Women"
-Jingle Male

"Allena is a wonderful story teller"
-TaraH

"This book is a real page turner I LOVED!
-JohnW

"...a story of remarkable courage, bolstered by a dry and hilarious wit that runs through the book...


Marketing Plan

Fortuitous timing and a truly bizarre incident established this story in the public consciousness back in 2008 when I had the foresight to be mauled by a bear on a slow summer news day. The resulting media frenzy took the story viral-- much to my horror. As a result, I'm all over the internet and recently found myself nestled in the All-time Top Ten of Reddit.com 's fabled "Ask Me Anything"-- right below Barack Obama, Bill Gates, Neil Degrasse Tyson and Snoop Lion. (!) What I'm trying to say here is that the book has an excellent platform, and I've already done a marathon's-worth of legwork for some ambitious publishing house who'd like to pick it up.

Typical of my contrarian nature, I'm attempting to use the book as a springboard to the keynote speaker's circuit rather than the other way around. Accordingly, I'm seeking representation by someone who can take my "inspirational" story to the next level. Thank you very much for your interest. -a

Fortuitous timing and a truly bizarre incident established this story in the public consciousness back in 2008 when I had the foresight to be mauled by a bear on a slow summer news day. The resulting...


Available Editions

EDITION Ebook
ISBN B009PXTGHG
PRICE $5.00 (USD)

Average rating from 2 members