How Do I Sexy?

Very informational but more of a personal view/journey on their self discovery in sexuality and self image. This is not a book for young people! Though it is describe as an intro to trans and non binary livelihood, it is definitely written for the adult eye. The author uses and describes bdsm and other extreme explicit moments. There is no actual flow to the story (beginning, middle, end). Its basically just the author speaking on their experiences and giving definitions

Unfortunately, I had to DNF this title at 35 percent. While I appreciate "How Do I Sexy?"'s attempt to de-mystify queer (and specifically trans) sexuality, I was bothered by the tonal inconsistency of the work. Throughout the chapters, I was wondering who the target reader was. The writing seemed too simplistic,. While is commendable that the author aimed to make the book as inclusive as possible, I also found myself distracted by terms constantly being in bold when they were first introduced. And they weren't niche terms, either; the author put "cishet" and "nonmonogamous" in bold, which again leads me to wonder: who was this written for?

I think baby queers in the young or new adult age bracket might pick up valuable lessons from "How Do I Sexy?", but for the rest of us, it would serve us better to read this as as condensed blog post.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing an advanced copy of this book.

Thank you Netgalley for providing me this arc.

As I write this I'm in a weird space in my life as I come to terms with what I want and what my new normal will look/feel like. So, of course, when I saw this one on Netgalley I had to read it.

I wasn't sure what I expected when I opened this one, but I wasn't disappointed. In someways, this book felt like a informative pep talk from a fellow trans person and I needed that.

While this book doesn't shy away from all the things we whisper about when it comes to trans sex - body parts, what to call them, do with them pre/post transition. It's also so much more than that. It's a pep talk and a guide to finding your crowd and figuring out what makes you feel good and how to uphold and explain healthy boundaries in all relationships - not just romantic of sexual ones.

My biggest take away from this book came from the affirmation section.

“Affirming Mantra 4: I am not responsible for the feelings of others.”

I've struggled in this area my whole life even before I came out and this was the book I needed to read right now.

Would recommend to anyone struggling to find community or self acceptance.

What sets this book apart is its genuine, compassionate approach to guiding readers through the labyrinth of sexual identity. Drawing from over a decade of personal and professional experience, Lore provides invaluable insights and practical advice that resonate deeply. Their dedication to inclusivity and advocacy shines through every page, creating a safe space for exploration and growth.

I particularly appreciated the emphasis on introspection and authenticity, encouraging readers to embrace their unique selves without succumbing to societal pressures. From navigating dating sites to managing rejection with grace, the guidance offered is both practical and empowering. Moreover, the inclusion of perspectives from fellow trans and nonbinary individuals adds richness and depth to the narrative, fostering a sense of community and solidarity.

In essence, "How Do I Sexy?" is not just a book—it's a beacon of hope and empowerment for anyone grappling with their sexual identity. Mx. Nillin Lore's principled and compassionate approach makes this a must-read for anyone seeking guidance on their journey toward self-discovery and fulfillment, both in the streets and between the sheets. Highly recommended.

I found this to be a well written book that is geared towards newby trans and queer folx learning more about and exploring sex and sexuality. I think that this is a good book for older teens and beyond, especially the more explicit sections. However, the point of this book is about feeling sexy and sex as a queer person, and I think the author fulfilled that goal with this book. I also really really appreciated that the author included asexuality and aromantic people when talking about sexuality and attraction. Finally, I also really liked how the author bolded terms and words that might be unfamiliar to the reader and provided definitions in a glossary at the back of the book.

I absolutely adored this book and it was just what I needed so I can't recommend it enough. This book gives you a plethora of options about navigating your transqueer bodies. Because not every option is for everyone, everyone has options to chose from and advice that might resonate. The writing style also reads easy. Put this on your tbr!!

A really interesting delve into deconstructing the cis-heteronormative view of sexiness and attraction, and celebrating queer bodies and relationships in a world obsessed with labelling thing normal/abnormal.

The book maintains an accessibility to those new to queer lingo by highlighting terms in bold and providing a glossary with explanations that were often more than just a single sentence.

While I think someone who is newly exploring their queerness will benefit most from the advice and questions the book asks you to consider, it absolutely prompted me to look deeper into myself and how I feel. I really connected with the style here of sharing personal experience interspersed with information, advice and thinking points, but sometimes it felt like it jumped around a little bit. The later chapters seem to flow better than the earlier ones.

Overall, I very much enjoyed this read as it resonated a lot with me personally.

Thank you NetGalley for providing an advanced copy.

How do I, sexy?

This book is not for me….. but with, it’s pretty good, different, uniquely funny, and exciting. Do you need a unique take on the idea? I should have read the description before agreeing to review this book because I am overtly not the charming demographic. That being said, I think it's insightful and beautiful.

Thank you to Netgalley for giving me an ARC copy of this book, all opinions are my own.

This book is an outstanding look at trans queerness and at helping young adults find a way to be sexy in a world that teaches them to be ashamed for being different. The book is a refreshing look at trans queerness and feels like it was written for us rather than about us.

I enjoyed the formula that exists for most of the book, where Mx. Nillin Lore provides facts/history, before giving the reader an anecdote about their journey, and then proceeds to teach us how to do it ourselves. It is an effective way to teach and a smart way to blend memoir and self-help. Each chapter is well thought out and well-paced while being enjoyable to read. Lore manages the tonal shifts well, going from an educational. or serious tone to a more humorous and light-hearted one without feeling forced. The tonal shifts also help to stop the book from becoming either too dark or too frivolous.

The book also teaches important lessons and does an excellent job of examining what stops a person from feeling sexy and teaching the reader how to overcome it even if it means examining things a person doesn't want to look too closely at.

The book is a mix of a personal essay, a self-help/advice guide, and a history lesson and balances all of these aspects wonderfully.On a personal note, I think this book is important and necessary and would be helpful for anyone who is trying to find out how to be sexy, but especially the trans queers who don't even know where to begin.

I found this book to be an informative and affirming resource. Lore's willingness to share their personal experiences and professional insights helped me navigate challenges and build confidence in my sexual identity.

While some generalizations didn't resonate with my own experiences, I appreciated the overall message of inclusivity and self-discovery. Lore's dedication to promoting sexual liberation and self-confidence within the trans and nonbinary community is genuinely inspiring. I'm grateful for the support and guidance it offers to those of us exploring our authentic selves.