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An Armsfull of Birds

A Personal Field Guide to Love, Loss, and Commitment

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Pub Date May 19 2026 | Archive Date May 13 2026


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Description

A story of recovery, love, and loss—a memoir of healing ourselves and the natural world.

Cara Benson did not come to love easy. As a low bottom addict, she crawled through subway tunnels and partnered with an abusive man. When she came face to face with her own death, she chose life. Her journey of survival led her into recovery, to climbing mountains, and ultimately to Jon, the man with whom she cultivated a relationship that began as “second chance lovers” and slowly developed into one as lifetime partners.

Years later, Benson unexpectedly found herself in devastation as she came to terms with losing Jon to suicide. As she retreated into her grief, she also retreated into the woods of upstate New York, exploring the forests not as the avid hiker she’d become in recovery, but as a meanderer who had lost her way. Here she found more grief in her observation of the effects of climate change.

In confronting her loss, Benson came to realize that the lessons she learned from loving Jon in sickness, health, and death could be applied to her relationship with the non-human world. From squirreling away oak acorns for reforestation of a logged property to maintaining feeders for the birds Jon adored, Benson’s daily life became a sort of field guide for how to live with a deep and abiding commitment to the future of the planet despite challenging odds.

Moving through the intensely personal and kindred terrain of love, recovery, and loss, An Armsfull of Birds is a climate memoir that tells the story of developing deeply held commitments to ourselves, to those we love, and ultimately to the ailing natural world.

About the Author

Cara Benson's writing has been published in The New York Times, Boston Review, Orion Magazine, Sierra Magazine, The Brooklyn Rail, Terrain, and selected for Best American Poetry. Her first book, a collection of prose poems called (made), was well reviewed in The Huffington Post and The Brooklyn Rail, among other publications. She has received a New York Foundation for the Arts Fellowship and the bpNichol Award. Benson wrote a series on walking in the woods for the Best American Poetry website and taught poetry in a NY State Correctional Facility for eight years. She lives in a former church on the ancestral homelands of the Stockbridge-Munsee Band of Mohican Indians in upstate NY.

A story of recovery, love, and loss—a memoir of healing ourselves and the natural world.

Cara Benson did not come to love easy. As a low bottom addict, she crawled through subway tunnels and...


A Note From the Publisher

Author is available for keynote speaking opportunities, interviews, blog tours, autographed tours, autographed book giveaways, contests, and book club discussions.

Author is available for keynote speaking opportunities, interviews, blog tours, autographed tours, autographed book giveaways, contests, and book club discussions.


Advance Praise

“I opened it up to read the first few pages and then spent five hours reading the rest. Beautifully done. Poignant, human, authentic.”

—Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess and #1 New York Times bestselling author of How To Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay

"This is a book about many profound things, but one of them is healing, and in particular the healing possibilities of the physical world around us. Of course, as Benson recognizes, healing needs to—and can—go both ways. A valuable book!"

—Bill McKibben, author of Here Comes the Sun

“Cara Benson feels everything so deeply and tells her stories so honestly. Part recovery story, part eco-travelogue, part grief memoir, An Armsfull of Birds is a nuanced, thoughtful book about what it means to live fully, even when that means surviving your most beloved people. A memoir that will break your heart and put it back together again.”

—Amy Shearn, award-winning author of Animal Instinct and Unseen City

“A powerful memoir of addiction and recovery, love and loss, and embracing life. An Armsful of Birds is written with grace, poetry, and wit. It’s also a page turner. Full of insight about mental health issues and many other things, the story is compelling and moving. Raw at times, at times heartbreaking, there is also joy and love. A beautiful book.”

—Jennifer Michael Hecht, author of Stay: A History of Suicide and the Philosophies Against It

“This is a memoir as it should be: ruggedly brutal, unflinchingly honest, and emotionally intense. It is a journey both tumultuous and cathartic, an embrace of hard realities and whispers of hope. Read this book and you will be changed. Guaranteed!”

—Anthony D. Fredericks, best-selling author of The Healing Wisdom of the Forest: Timeless Lessons of Renewal, Tranquility, and Joy

"In the wake of her partner's suicide, Cara Benson performs a compelling close examination of their relationship, their individual and joined dynamics, and the nature of love and loss. In gorgeous, arresting prose, she seamlessly weaves in elements of their passions and commitments—birds, hiking, animal love, environmental stewardship, and sobriety. An Armsfull of Birds: A Personal Field Guide to Love, Loss, and Commitment is required reading for anyone who has ever been confronted by the gaping questions surrounding a loved one's passing, or really anyone who has loved and lost."

—Sari Botton, author of And You May Find Yourself...Confessions of a Late-Blooming Gen-X Weirdo, and the editor-in-chief of Oldster Magazine

“Gorgeously written, with every page full of heart, Cara Benson's story perfectly captures what it is to be human in an often unforgiving world. Through the brutal years of addiction, the hard work of recovery, and profound love and loss, I couldn't put this book down. If you're looking for inspiration or comfort, it is here.”

—Lisa Smith, author of the award-winning memoir Girl Walks Out of a Bar

“I opened it up to read the first few pages and then spent five hours reading the rest. Beautifully done. Poignant, human, authentic.”

—Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess and #1 New York Times bestselling...


Available Editions

EDITION Paperback
ISBN 9780757325557
PRICE $16.95 (USD)
PAGES 352

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