Where The Water Meets The Sand

A tumultuous story of love, loss and depression. I was drawn in by the honesty of the author's voice and the ups and downs of her life. A heartfelt story that I highly recommend.

A Woman With A Mission Tyra Manning learned that her husband had been killed in the Vietnam War from her psychiatrist at the Menninger Clinic, where she had been hospitalized for clinical depression. After years of battling addiction and depression, Tyra's worst fear had come true. Larry had been shot down over the Laotian jungle while flying a top-secret mission, just two weeks before their daughter's second birthday.

 The author recounts how she was able to persevere in the face of devastating loss. With courage, love, and determination, she overcame her grief and fulfilled promises she made to Larry before he left for Vietnam. She ultimately earned a doctorate of education from the University of Kansas and became one of the nation's top school superintendents. 

 When Tyra received a call from the Air Force in 2006, she was able to keep one last promise to Larry. His remains had finally been excavated after thirty-five years, and she was able to honor his wish to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. 

My Thoughts  This memoir is remarkable for many reasons. I started reading this book and couldn't put it down until I read the last page. 

 The author is a survivor. Tyra Manning is as much of a hero as her husband who lost his life in Vietnam. She would not give up, no matter how difficult her life circumstances were.

 Here are some of the challenges that Dr. Manning overcame:
•The illness and death of her father at a young age.
•Depression, anxiety and eating disorders.
•Alcohol addiction.
•Becoming a young widow of an Air Force pilot killed in Vietnam.
•Single motherhood.
•Working as a school teacher and going to school at night and during summers.
•Severe injuries from a head-on collision with a drunk driver.
•Divorce.
•Dealing with military authorities for over 35 years to have her husband's remains returned and buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

Trya and Larry were planning to meet in Hawaii, where the water meets the sand, during an upcoming R&R leave. This dream of walking on the beach with her husband inspired and comforted Tyra during her most difficult days.

Courage. Inspiration. Determination. Perseverance. Patriotism. Hope. Love.

These are just a few words that describe Dr. Manning's life journey. 

Highly recommended!

My Rating: 5 Stars Out Of 5

FYI ~ I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair review.

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The video book trailer below provides some highlights from the book.

Loved the book, How it peels away the layers of trials and tribulations, successes and failures, dealing with personal demons that would have destroyed most people. Also points out that not only soldiers are casualties of war so are their families. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED MUST READ BOOK

This book is a memoir. It tells the heartbreaking and poignant story of the author from childhood through the present day. Of her struggles with depression, addictions and flawed coping strategies that led her to impatient care at Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas. It is also a tribute to her husband, First Lt. James “Larry” Hull, USAF.  A pilot killed in action (KIA) during the Vietnam War and her actions to bring his remains home to American soil. 

The author walks us step by step through her journey as it unfolds over a close to forty year period. She shares scenes from her childhood in flashback. Scenes that help the reader understand how a young girl was forced to grow up too soon after the death of her beloved father and the demands imposed on her by a widowed mother who, like herself years later, returned to college to complete her teaching degree. 

Tyra never truly recovered from this devastating loss and it haunted her throughout her life. After she meets her future husband at Texas Tech University Tyra's future seems bright. But her husband has a dream, to fly fighter jets. The time is the Vietnam War. Tyra's demons come back in full force as she tries to deal with the impending doom she feels that her husband too would die when he left for his tour in Vietnam. Her fear, anxiety and psychic pain are palpable and heartbreaking.

I was touched over and over again by Tyra’s honesty as she shared her most personal thoughts and actions as she deals with the anxieties, addictions and severe depression she experienced for a good part of her early life. She does not hide or try to gloss over her years of continued struggles even after she was released from Menninger. Her honestly that still resonates today as she tells us she still takes it, “one day at a time.” Many times I found myself reading through tears as Tyra shared the emotional impact the loss of her father had on her from the time she was only nine. And then, unimaginably, the loss of her young husband.  She lets us into her skin and allows us to walk around and experience the anguish and shame she felt for decisions and actions she took to cope with her soul crushing losses piled one atop the other.

The story is accessible at many levels. The author writes in an easy going style and does share that the book was written over many years and began as her journaling to help her cope with the loss of her beloved husband. Tyra's husband, Larry comes alive in the book, even though his life is brief his footprint and impact are immense. Tyra's memory of him spurs her on at her most difficult and trying of times. I so enjoyed getting to know Larry through Tyra and the men who served with him in the United States Air Force. He is as much alive in its pages as Tyra and I believe she intended it that way. The reader can tell even though they were very young they were deeply in love. Larry though only 24 took every measure possible to ensure that should the worst occur, should he be killed in action, that Tyra and their baby daughter Laura would have a home and money enough to survive. I found myself wishing to know more about this caring, kind, thoughtful man. I too found myself wanting to hear his voice that ran through Tyra's mind and heart as she took her first steps to a healthy life. That she still hears today. (Postscript: A short clip can be found on the Goodreads site.)

I believe the true hero of the book is Larry. Not only did he fight and die for his country at a time when the choice to do so was met with vehement derision but his unconditional love for his wife was very inspiring. The support he provided throughout their short time together lasted a lifetime and his lifelong impact on Tyra and all who were involved in his short life is amazing. That one man from west Texas could have such an impact on so many really touched me. That Tyra was able to convey the essence of the man in such a short book is also a tribute to her. And that she was able to fulfill not only her promise to him and the dreams for her they shared but also that she lives a life now of joy and purpose. Brava Dr. Manning!

Tyra is a survivor. She didn't always make the best decisions but she learned to accept the help offered to her and grow and make better decisions. She recognized when she was standing on a slippery slope and took appropriate actions to seek and accept help. She did not allow her fear or the stigma of mental health and addiction stop her from stepping forward. And she has grown braver and more vocal through the years. Age has a way of doing that. Her goal now is to advocate for those afraid and unable to seek out or avail themselves of the mental health programs available to them. But as she says, so much more is needed and must be offered if we are to truly help those who suffer under the weight of mental illness, its shame, judgment and stigma.

The one thing I would have liked would have been photos. Some family photos would have helped put a face to a name. I would have loved to have seen Tyra and Larry sharing happier times and photos of Laura. Also photos from Larry’s memorial services. This is the one thing I found wanting.

This is not a book that delves deeply into the clinical causes and internal emotions of its author. Tyra admits it has always been difficult for her to talk about the depths of her feelings. It is also not a book concerning in-depth treatment practices. Rather it is a book about survival, perseverance  and the journey of one young woman among the thousands widowed at a very young age because the man she hoped to grow old with was a casualty of war. How perfect for what we are going through again as thousands lose their lives and are physically, mentally and emotionally scarred by yet another foreign conflict.

The titile is from the words of a promise, a hope, for a recovered Tyra to walk with Larry on his R&R in Hawaii, "where the water meets the sand."

I definitely recommend this book to anyone looking for inspiration and anyone dealing with grief and loss. Tyra persevered regardless of the circumstances or challenges placed in her path. Her hope is that others will too.

I was provided with an ARC copy of this book for my unbiased review. I thank the author and publisher for this opportunity.

This is a wonderful, easy to read, memoir. 

When I first started reading it, I forgot it was a memoir, it read so much like the prose of a novel.   Once I was reminded that it is a true story, it was all the more meaningful.  What a story Tyra had to tell.  I'm so glad she told it.  It's good for people to read about what military families endured and continue to endure due to deployments and war.  Tyra is very open about the mental illness she dealt with.  I'm so glad she was open about and and was able to write so clearly about what it felt like to be drowning in depression and anxiety.  This is a great read.

This is the story of a young military spouse dealing with her husband going off to war while she struggles to deal with depression and anxiety while worrying about the care of her young daughter.

In this beautifully written, poignant memoir, Tyra Manning recounts how she was able to persevere in the face of devastating loss. With courage, love, and determination, she overcame her grief and fulfilled promises she made to Larry before he left for Vietnam. She ultimately earned a doctorate of education from the University of Kansas and became one of the nation's top school superintendents.

When Tyra received a call from the air force in 2006, she was able to keep one last promise to Larry. His remains had finally been excavated after thirty-five years, and she was able to honor his wish to be buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

Where the Water Meets the Sand explores themes of loss, depression, addiction, courage, and love and offers hope to individuals and families who have also dealt with the loss of someone close to them.

Where the Water Meets the Sand is the remarkable memoir of Tyra Manning and a loving tribute to her husband, First Lt. James "Larry" Hull, USAF, killed in action in Vietnam. Tyra had a host of psychological issues arising from her childhood. The never-forgotten early death of her father, and the incredible responsibilities put on her young shoulders after his death, led her to feel overwhelmed. She escaped for years in poor-coping skills, teenage rebellion, drinking, binging/purging, cutting etc. before finding love with Larry Hull. Though young, they had a love that shone bright, produced a daughter and was Tyra's lifeline after Larry left for Vietnam, and for decades to come. 

After the birth of their daughter and Larry's deployment, she found herself once again overwhelmed and unfit to care for herself and her daughter. She admitted herself as an inpatient to Menninger Clinic, a renowned mental health facility. It was there that she learned of Larry's death, her worst fear come true. Over time, she was able to process many of her feelings, and gain coping skills. 

Upon discharge, Tyra put herself through school, became a teacher, then a principal, and eventually superintendent of schools, while continuing to fight the recurring demons and addictions from her past, and raising her daughter. She never forgot about Larry, or her promise to bury him in Arlington National Cemetery if he didn't make it back from Vietnam. Decades after his death, and no small amount of red-tape, his remains were found, recovered and brought back to American soil. She was able to fulfill that last, unbearable promise to him.

This is a love story. It is also the story of loss, losing your way, finding it again, perseverance, continual struggling and battling addictions, unknown strength, holding on, letting go. It is a story about life. It is breathtaking, it is beautiful, it is well-worth your time. And it serves as a reminder that our veterans and active military members are not the only ones affected by their service. Their families go through just as many battles, though without recognition or acknowledgement. And they too are scarred.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Greenleaf Book Group who provided me with an e-copy of this book in exchange for an honest opinion.