From the outside, Paul Drayton appeared to have it all: a glamorous London life, a loving marriage to one of Britain’s best-known comedians, and a countryside home filled with animals, pool parties and more than the occasional famous face. Behind the scenes things were unravelling, fuelled by addiction, impulsive decisions and a talent for making bad choices at exactly the wrong moment.

From a nostalgic childhood in 1970s Sunderland, growing up in a fun, loving family alongside three older brothers, to discovering his sexuality in a deeply masculine environment. Paul’s early life is shaped by his family, friends and his constant horsey companionships.

That journey eventually leads him into the chaos of London nightlife, where he relocates to pursue his dream of becoming an actor. Along the way, he falls in love with Alan Carr, puts his life on hold and finds himself navigating life on the edge of fame - close enough to taste it, but never quite accepted or able to relax into it.

When sad circumstances lead to a dangerous driving conviction that lands him in prison, the illusion finally cracks. Forced to confront how far his life and aspirations had spiralled, Paul begins to piece together the story of how he got there, and how to find a way back.

With sharp self-awareness and a brutal sense of ownership, Paul reflects on addiction, identity, and relationships, as well as the strange business of being “the other half” while falling apart in a very public world without support.

A late ADHD diagnosis at fifty offers a new lens - bringing clarity and difficult realisations, but no easy answers. This is, finally, Paul' s story in his own words - if you’re willing to read between the lines.

Ride - Or Die Trying is the raw, darkly funny, nostalgic, mildly wrong and unexpectedly moving story of a life that didn’t fall apart all at once, but gradually, publicly, and with a certain flair for flicking the ‘F**K IT’ button.

Paul Drayton is a British actor and writer whose life has spanned working-class Sunderland, London’s nightlife, and the edges of the celebrity world to his happy home life in the countryside. He brings a brutally honest perspective to stories of addiction, identity and public scrutiny.

After more than a decade of being the 'other half' of a celebrity couple, Drayton writes with sharp candour and dark humour about the realities of unravelling and rebuilding life from the ground up.

From his long-term relationship with comedian Alan Carr, to his personal experiences from childhood to a late-in-life ADHD diagnosis. Paul's story is a remarkable one of resilience, opportunity and self-awareness. His memoir, Ride - Or Die Trying, is his debut book.