Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing - Ballantine Books for the ARC of this novel.

I'll start by saying if you plan to read this and you have any plans either cancel them or don't start the book because this is a total 1 Day-er. The book grabs you from the very first page (I don't want to spoil it but it starts at a hospital bedside and leads you to believe you know the ending). Aside from the attention grabbing prologue the books keeps a very nice pace.l and the chapters are relatively short but each one ends with a hook.

Another aspect of the book the author did exceedingly well is kept what could be a somewhat complex/confusing tale clear and concise. The chapters are total from the POV of all of the characters but in some instances there's only 1 chapter for one character and other characters dominated the book. That could have been very confusing to constantly switch POVs but it wasn't and I found it added a different element to the plot that made it more enjoyable.

So if this is a great book why the 4 stars? I thought the author could have gone into each characters emotional state and why they did things a little bit more. You know each characters "demons" in the book but how it affected them comes off a little superficial in the book. Even with that slight negative this is still a must read book and you will not be disappointed if you pick it up.

I thought this novel had the makings of a great story. The story itself was fascinating, there was enough drama to draw the reader in and keep them engaged as the story was captivating but I think it lacked on delivery. Suzette and Hyland decided to find a surrogate as Suzette was worried about her family’s health issues being passed down. Dorrie didn’t quite fit within the guidelines of what they should be looking for but they liked her, so Dorrie became their surrogate. When she doesn’t show up for the sonogram appointment and they find a note on her door, fear creeps into the couple life. Betrayal, anger, confusion, grief and frustration all pop into my head as I read the note that Dorrie left for them. As the story unwinds, I found it hard to get emotional as I didn’t feel connected to any of the characters in this novel. As the couple tries to locate Dorrie and they deal with their emotions and with each other, I understood what they were going through but I felt like I should be feeling something deeper. I heard Dorrie’s side of the story and other individuals that were close to her and I understood where she was coming from and why she behaving the way she was but again I felt I was missing something. Perhaps it is just me and other readers will enjoy this novel just the way it is, everyone is different. I did enjoy the story though but I think I would have told it a different way. 3.5 stars

I received a copy of this novel from NetGalley and Ballantine Books in exchange for an honest review.

I was super excited when I got approved for this on Netgalley by Ballentine books! I rarely get approved for books that are not published by Bookouture, so I could believe my eyes when I got the approval email for this. I was anxious to read it and when I did get to it, I was not disappointed (for the most part).

From the very first chapter I could tell this was going to be a heavy book to read. It touches on so many tough subjects including mental illness, surrogacy, and the pressure on a relatioship/marriage when one partner doesn’t want to have children. Later on in the book we get to see the effects of PTSD from deployment, drug abuse, prostitution, and child neglect. If any of these things are possible triggers for you, please be aware that this is at least touched on briefly in the novel. To be honest, I was not expecting such a heavy story to come with this book, but it was an amazing read nonetheless.

The prologue is pretty much the ending of the story, then the rest of the story is told as the character are looking back and reminiscing over the experience. As the story begins, we find out the main couple has been married for 15 years and all of a sudden Hyland (the husband) brings up the subject of children. Again. Hyland actually called off their engagement because Suzette (the wife) doesn’t want children, but decided to marry her anyways. So what Suzette thought was a long buried and agreed upon subject is once again brought back up. Now Suzette does have her reasons for not wanting children and Hyland has his reasons for wanting children. They quickly decided on a compromise of surrogacy.

After many different women backed up of being Hyland and Suzettes surrogate, for many different reasons, they finally find a young woman named Dorrie to agree which happens towards the end of Part One.

Up until this point, I found the book not extremely interesting. It was really slow and it took me a while to figure out exactly how I was feeling about the story. I was so confused because the book contained very interesting subject matter, I just didn’t find it very interesting. To be honest, I felt kind of awkward and uneasy.

Literally as soon as I finished Part One, I had an epiphany. I was feeling this way about the book because that’s how Suzette was feeling. For the most part, Part One of the book was told from Suzette’s POV. Since she was feeling awkward and uneasy about the children discussion, finding a surrogate, and trying to figure out if this is what she really wanted that’s how I was feeling too! It was an amazing experience. I was feeding on this vibes of the words and the character. I’m not sure that has ever happened to me on this scale before it and it was awesome!

Part Two starts with a chapter from Dorrie (the surrogate) and I was some completely captivated at this point! I loved that Ward had the surrogate’s POV included in the story.

Throughout this part of the book, readers get to see many different POVs– Suzette, Dorrie, Jayne (random little girl), Eloise (surrogate baby), and Hyland. I’m not sure exactly why Jayne got a chapter in her perspective, but she did.

This is the part of the book where all heck breaks loose, literally! The feelings that Dorrie was having really touched my heart because I know that those are the same exact feelings I would have if I were to be in her situation. At least that’s how I picture it would happen.

After reading Dorrie’s thoughts, I just can’t imagine that when you agree to be a surrogate that you actually know what you’re signing up for and getting yourself into. So I was not surprised that Dorrie reacts the way that she does.

Part Three was full of twists, some I was expecting and some I was not. I was completely blind sided by one of the major reveals, nothing could have prepared me for that. But the reveal wasn’t a negative one, which I really liked. The reveal made me really happy and really sad at the same time.

The ending of the book was where I was really disappointed. The ending left me completely unsatisfied. I seriously loved the whole book, but in my opinion Ward really dropped the ball on the ending of the book. It had so much potential for a tragic or happy ending, whichever she would have chosen. But instead we got not kind of closure and are left guessing how everything turned out for the characters. But it didn’t leave off in such a way that you would think there will be a sequel.

One of my favorites things about a book is reading to see where the book gets its title from. The Nearness of You could have been incorporated into the book in some many different wonderful ways. But NO. This book got it’s title from an Ella Fitzgerald song that Eloise sings for her a cappella tryouts. Boring. Bummer.

The whole book was so well put together, but the ending made it lose a few star points for me. Unfortunately. But overall, it was a wonderful book and I would still recommend it to other readers!

Interesting story on surrogacy, I really liked the unexpected twists and turns, they kept the book going, but I just could not manage to like many of these characters.
Adoptive mom Suzette, forget it, she is a workaholic bitch. I don't care what her reasons are. Hyland, the biological father, seems kind of wimpy and scattered. Then there's Dorrie, carrying mother. I thought she was fine, she gets a pass, but Eloise, the child, super bratty teenager. I couldn't evoke any sympathy for her.
This story had a strong ebb and flow though, just when I thought I was wasting my time on this book, it would perk up with something exciting. I could probably do a 3.5.

I am now a huge fan of Amanda Eyre Ward. She writes with a level of nuance and grace that is rarely found in such a fast-paced novel.

Surrogacy is a tough subject to cover and Amanda Eyre Ward does it well. Dorrie agrees to carry Suzette and Hyland’s baby without fully understanding what she is getting into which lends another layer to the plot that would not have been there otherwise. I liked the way Amanda Eyre Ward made me care for all the characters even when they are at odds. I empathized with Suzette. She had built a good life for herself when her husband decides they need a child. She goes along and finds her world torn apart. Dorrie is a young woman who wants a better life and thinks becoming a surrogate will help her get away from her mother and move forward. She didn’t think it would be so hard to give up the baby she carried. Jayne is a girl who is trying to find a better life as well and is willing to take a chance on Dorrie when she sees an opportunity.

My only quibble with this novel is all the female characters had awful mothers. I began to get confused about who’s terrible childhood some of the flashbacks were from. It would have been nice to have one of the women know what a healthy mother-daughter relationship felt like. That said, this is a minor criticism.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for a copy of the novel.