I was slightly nervous reading this book; not because I feel no sympathy for the family, quite the reverse. I was worried it would be a 'saintly mother' coming to terms with her son's actions. And, in one way, it was. But it was more than that. Klebold goes deeper than her own grief and her own and her family's, and into the wider repercussions for the other families, and for society as a whole.

The Columbine Shootings were a terrible incident, I'm not denying that in the slightest. But I think this book could help parents to try and connect more to their offspring, and for people in general to be more open in all things. Secrecy breeds.... well, many things: isolation, depression, resignation, resentment, bottling up of feelings, major incidents where long-held feelings are expressed, violence to self or others, mental illnesses, confusion, attachment or detachment, and loneliness.

As Klebold says, she hopes her story may help others. And it sounds like it did; even at the beginning, she knew of people confessing things to family members that had been kept secret for years. I've always known about the hate mail and the secrecy they've had to live their lives in, but I didn't know what compassion people also showed them from the start. It restores faith in humanity.

Definitely worth a read.

This is an amazing book. In April 1999, Sue Klebold's 17 year old son, Dylan, went on a shooting spree with his friend, Eric Harris at their high school, Columbine. They both committed suicide after killing 12 people and leaving many others injured. I remember this event happening, but as it was in the US, it didn't have the same impact for me as Dunblane, which was obviously closer to home. Sue's story is absolutely heart breaking. How can a parent ever come to terms with such an event? It very nearly destroyed her and her family, and her descriptions will move you to tears. She managed to survive by a determination to find out as much as possible about mental health and suicide to try to understand why her son acted the way he did. People called her a bad mother and said she must have known what her son was planning. She says Dylan seemed like a normal boy with the so called normal teenage issues. Every day she wishes that she'd seen the signs that her much loved son was actually suffering from depression and had been suicidal for 2 years before the tragic events at Columbine. She now campaigns on mental health issues and the proceeds from this book are going to charity. After I'd finished the book I watched a BBC interview with Sue on YouTube. I think she is an incredibly brave person, and I really recommend any parent to read this book. Thanks to NetGalley for a preview copy.

"There, but for the grace of the Universe, go I"
I've had to make the headline of this review "There, but for the grace of the Universe, go I" because I have absolutely no idea how I would have reacted if I'd been told that my son had gone into a school and killed thirteen people, seriously injuring others, before he eventually put a gun to his own head.
I remember hearing the horrific news that two students had walked into their school; Columbine, and opened fire on students and teachers. I also remember feeling shock and disgust that a tragedy like this could have occurred. I kept asking the question "How could the parents of the two boys, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, not had any idea that their sons were going to commit this atrocity? Sue Klebold has devoted her life to trying to find out the answers since that fatal day.
When her husband Tom phoned to say that there had been a shooting, she immediately thought that someone else had been responsible, not for a second thinking it could be her son. She raced home from work and discovered that the police were already there going over her house with a fine tooth-comb. Her prayer changed from "please keep my son safe" to "please let him kill himself". She was terrified that he'd be killed in a hail of police bullets.
The story of the aftermath of the shooting is truly shocking to read and absorb. In fact, I found myself dreaming about it. I also found myself asking the question over and over again "How could you not know that your son/daughter was suffering from depression, planning to murder others?”. I keep coming back to my own lies that all is well. Smile, laugh, just never ever admit to the real pain going on inside. (Let's face it; we've all had to hide our pain or stress at some stage of our lives). My other deep concern from this story is that someone had known that Eric Harris had built a website that was full of hate crime, particularly against one boy. The boy's parents had found out about it and had reported the site to the police, but no action was taken. Possibly if the authorities had reacted, the killings could have been prevented.
The other conundrum that Sue raises is; do you as a parent have the right to snoop through your children's bedrooms? If she had, she would have discovered the notes he'd scattered throughout his books on his desperation to end his life.
He was a popular boy with friends from first grade. They too never suspected what he was feeling and definitely not what he was planning. He was able to put on a brave face, laugh, chat and do the normal teenage activities with these friends. Several of them had somewhat negative feelings about Eric Harris but again, nobody realised how close they were.
I will never be able to understand why these sorts of killings take place. I will also never truly understand how Sue Klebold, her husband Tom and son Byron have survived what happened to their family. It seems that the shock brought on Sue's breast cancer. It has also driven her almost to the point of becoming a fanatic about suicide/murder prevention. She has tried to find out the how and why of mental disease that causes this type of crime to happen. She has also tried to find out how people can pick up the early sign of mental disease, but at a huge cost. Her husband Tom wanted to just move on with his life. She couldn't. The strong marriage that they had before this event collapsed and they divorced.
I think what I found most distressing - and possibly don't have the right to even raise this criticism, is that Byron almost became an afterthought in her life because of this relentless search to understand suicide and suicide/murder. Dylan's actions caused a tsunami of catastrophic events for his family to cope with.
Since Columbine, there have been other massacres that have left us shocked and deeply disturbed, carried out by children/teenagers. "Why?" we ask. Why would these teenagers plan to commit such atrocious acts - never a spur of the moment type of act, but a well thought out plan? All I can say is "There, but for the grace of the Universe, go I"
Treebeard
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.

An interesting book, cant say that I absolutely loved it and I have to admit to skipping past a fair few pages. I did however go onto Youtube and find out more about the Columbine tragedy. If you are interested in this kind of thing then I would certainly say its a worthwhile read.

I have to admit that while reading this book I did ask myself why I had wanted to read it. As a big crime fiction fan, I do find myself interested in real crime, especially the more unusual cases. I remember the shooting at Columbine high school in America, I remember being horrified that something like that could happen in a school and trying to comprehend why two teenage boys would decide to go on a rampage in their own school.

I am thankful that gun laws in the UK prevent this sort of thing from happening, and I’ve always been horrified at the subsequent school shootings that have happened since Columbine. I have to admit that part of me is fascinated about what would make someone shoot children in a school, and what type of upbringing might cause someone to do that.

So when I came across A Mother’s Reckoning I wanted to read it, I wanted to understand what had happened at Columbine and how Dylan’s parents coped with the aftermath. I wanted to know whether the author would try to minimise her son’s involvement or paint herself as a wonderful mother who did nothing wrong? I had many questions.

The first half of this book is incredibly depressing to read. It is clear that Sue Klebold descended into a very dark place after the shooting and she uses the pages to vomit those feelings out onto the reader. I got to 50% through and had to take a break, I could feel my own thoughts becoming darker and knew that I had to step away from the book. I read two fiction books before returning, bracing myself for more.

Perhaps because I was prepared for it the second half was not as deeply depressing as the first. In fact, the second half actually said very little that wasn’t in the first half, this book is very repetitive. We hear, again and again, and again, how Sue and her now ex-husband had not noticed anything with Dylan that they hadn’t put down to normal teenage angst and how if she had suspected anything then she would have forced Dylan to get help and that then Dylan wouldn’t have felt so desperate and wouldn’t have killed so many people. I’m simplifying it, but basically, Sue Klebold obviously thinks that she could have saved the day if only she’d noticed.

Another thing that Klebold focuses on is what she calls ‘brain illness’. She does eventually give a brief explanation of why she says brain illness rather than mental health but if I’m honest, by then I was past caring about the why as it had become so annoying that I just wanted her to stop it and call it what it is. Brain illness makes no sense to me, sure, I understand that when you have mental health problems that your brain doesn’t work as it should, but does it have an illness? If my kidney’s stop working properly I don’t say that I have kidney illness, or a leg illness when I’ve broken my bone. You get the point, but it’s annoying and unnecessary. And yes, I do have mental health problems so feel that I am able to say that I hate ‘brain illness’.

It was interesting to read about Klebold’s denial around what her son did and how that denial was smashed when the police sat her down and told her step by step, what had happened during the rampage that Dylan and his friend Eric went on, including who shot who. It is made clear to us that Dylan shot fewer people than Eric and that he had spared a few people, telling them to run instead of shooting them. While these may be true facts it did feel that Klebold had emphasised them to make sure that we know that her son was not the worst.

It is clear that Klebold sees Eric as the bad one and that without him in his life Dylan would never have done such terrible things. Klebold acknowledges that Dylan had mental health (sorry, brain illness) problems that were undiagnosed and tells us repeatedly that Dylan was suicidal yet unable to kill himself, but so desperate was he to die that he went along with Eric’s plan to kill others, something that both boys knew would end in their deaths too. Klebold does talk about the memorials for the victims, she tells us that originally two crosses had been put there for Dylan and Eric but they had been destroyed. I can’t help but feel that she thinks that Dylan deserves a cross, that he too was a victim in all of this.

Since finishing this book I have done some more research into Dylan especially, but also Eric and the shootings. It is clear that there were more signs that Dylan was in trouble, like clear anger management issues, that were not mentioned in the book. This is not a short book and as I said it is very repetitive so there was plenty of room for Klebold to tell us about this, but I guess that she didn’t want to. Which makes me question the rest of the book, and what else she decided not to tell us.

What Klebold had to go through must have been beyond horrific and I do feel compassion towards her. She has clearly gone on to do a lot of good, supporting others who have lost children to suicide and reaching out to other parents of school shooters. The fact that she managed to get through what happened and put it to something positive is commendable.

However, I’m not really sure what she wanted to achieve with this book. The focus of the book is, understandably, on Dylan and although she tells us many times that she is very sorry about the people that were hurt by her son the victims seem to be almost forgotten and, in many ways, irrelevant. The book is far longer than it needed to be, mainly because of the repetitiveness which is a shame, this book could be a very powerful tool, helping parents to look at their children and see signs that may suggest that their child needs help and support. Instead, Klebold comes across as quite preachy and arrogant, placing blame with many people and institutions, but not with Dylan and certainly not with herself.

I received a copy of A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold from the publishers via Netgalley, I was under no obligation to review the book and all thoughts are my own.

This is challenging, can you put yourself in the place of a woman who has lived a life that you couldnt envisage?
the writing is good , when it feels weak it is because you cant imagine finding the lyricism to please the readers.
This will make you feel and that is something most books cant do

I thought this book would be right up my street and to start with it had me hooked but then I felt it just went on for too long about the aftermath in a way that as a reader just became a bit repetitive and boring.

Sue Klebold is the mother of one of the Columbine shooters. Note that the author's profit from this book goes to mental health charities.

When I came across this book, I realised that in the aftermath of a tragedy like Columbine, I never stop to consider how the parents of the perpetrator might feel. In fact, like many people I probably assume they are partly to blame through neglectful or abusive parenting.

This book has removed any such lazy presumptions. Klebold writes with honesty and power about her son, the shootings and brain (mental) health, an area which she was spent much of the last 15 years researching and campaigning for.

Her son, Dylan, appeared to be a normal teenage boy. Shy, goofy, loving, sometimes prone to being a bit moody or introverted...but not someone who displayed obvious signs of the horrendous acts he would carry out with his friend Eric Harris.

Klebold documents Dylan's upbringing, recounts the days before the shootings and describes the horror of life following an unimaginable event for all concerned. What really comes across is the sheer shock as she realises initially that her son could be in danger then comes to understand that he is actually in some way involved in the crimes being committed. Even once some facts start to emerge, Klebold still clings on to the hope that Dylan had been brain-washed, or was an unwilling participant, or that the attacks were a spur of the moment loss of sanity. However, as the months pass she has to face the horrible truth, that her son planned the attacks far in advance, and although he was perhaps led on by the more violent Harris, he played a willing role in an atrocity.

I see some negative reviews of this book which criticise Klebold. I can't really understand this. I don't know the woman personally but everything I read in the book comes across as heartfelt and she apologies again and again and again for the actions of her son. I don't think she ever tries to excuse him at all. In outlining his hidden depression and the role it played in the massacre, she seems to me to simply be trying to help other parents spot warning signs in their children.

Not an easy read, but a very interesting one and Ms Klebold has my admiration for her honesty and strength. Thankfully most of us will never have to deal with such an unimaginable situation - I think her candour and compassion mark her out as a special individual.

For the odd one or two people who follow my blog and reviews, you'll know that I've read several fictional novels on the concept of school shootings because I'm somewhat fascinated by them. Consequently, when I saw the blurb for this book I was immediately intrigued. Klebold and Harris who carried out the Columbine school attack, were just a year older than me, and whilst I remember very little of the reporting of the event at the time, it is a shooting that is constantly referred to. I thought that finding out how Dylan Klebold's mother felt about the event, how she dealt with the aftermath and how she lives now, firsthand, would be an honour and was subsequently eager to read her story.
My initial reaction to Sue Klebold's writing was that she is clearly an educated woman - the vocabulary is amazing – and she is also undeniably a very loving mother. She confronts her son's actions head on and addresses the general view that 'these boys must have been monsters' and 'raised by uncaring, unobservant parents' from the outset.
What also becomes apparent through reading the book, is that Sue has made it, well almost her life mission or goal, to help people who have mental health issues, who have lost people to suicide and to raise awareness of how to help. She has researched thoroughly, met with countless professionals and, whilst trying to understand why her son did what he did, tried to raise awareness of the importance of teaching children not just how to care for themselves physically but also – and just as importantly – mentally.
I found this to be an insightful and devastating read. It felt tragic yet hopeful. It is sure to be one book I will never forget.

We all have an idea of what kind of parent we might be, and from the moment we know a baby is on the way, we form ideas about how this child might be like too. From birth to old age, we map out possibilities for its future but I would suggest none of us imagine our child turning into a mass-murderer, and especially not at the tender age that the authors own son, Dylan, was when he committed the massacre at Columbine.

It is the painful and shocking tension caused by the realisation that perhaps you did not know your child at all which makes Sue Klebold's memoir so very terrible because if we accept that she really did not know what he was capable of, then that means we parents are all in the same boat. Many readers will reject this, and her, because of the cognitive dissonance caused by this dilemma.

In her recollections, she tells us that as Dylan called out “bye” on the the morning of the attacks, she heard in his tone “a sneer, almost, as if he’d been caught in the middle of a fight with someone”. At first she prayed he was safe when news of the shooting came through but later, as the news darkened and she discovered he was involved, she prayed for his death. I can understand this. She lost her child and gained a monster in the eyes of the world. How could he possibly retain his own life when he took the lives of so many others?

Klebold's writing is a search for answers but she's not asking for redemption from us. There's memories of a happier early childhood but in recollection, also hints of a darker side. Dylan didn't like to fail and could not bear any form of teasing. Again, as parents we might see this in our own children, and we might also frame it as a 'normal' character quirk or not. It's so much easier in hindsight to layer meaning onto every single utterance, every single temper tantrum, every single moment of social withdrawal. “By telling my story as faithfully as possible,” Klebold writes, “even when it is unflattering to me, I hope to shine a light that will help other parents see past the faces their children present” she says.

Yet, yet, yet, how could she not have seen more? Then there's the thorny issue of access to guns and weaponry. What would the two boys used if they were unable to gain access to the weapons they used? Or if they did not benefit from the undisturbed conditions required to make and store some of them? Kelbold fails to find any real answers and if we're honest, so must we because our distance and 'thank God this is not happening to us' shelters us from the pain of having to really dig deep. Moral culpability is still a factor even when psychiatric illness might be present, and Klebold tends to ascribe his participation to a toxic combination of peer pressure and said same illness. Was her son ill to the point of being clinically insane? I don't think so, so he therefore has moral culpability which is painful for a mother to reflect upon because as parent to a minor, that culpability is therefore hers too.

Whilst I am glad I read this book, I'm unsure as to whether I will purchase it for my school library. I think I would need to re-read before making that decision.

This is not a book for the faint-hearted. It describes in detail the shootings in Columbine High School in 1999. It tells us about the people who died, including the two young boys who were responsible for the shootings. It describes how they acted that day, and who they shot at throughout their rampage through the school. It shouldn't have been a book I wanted to read.

But it was a book I am very glad I read. It didn't change my mind about the shooters tremendously, but it gave me a far deeper insight into the background of the boys involved. It allowed me to accept that a family should not be blamed for an individuals actions. It showed me the amazing strength the mother of one of the boys has had to find ever since that awful day. It proves that no matter what horrors we live through, there is always something to be gained by pushing on, even if everyone around us hates us with a passion.

What her son did was not Sue Klebold's fault, nor did she have any inkling as to the way her sons mind was working prior to, and during, the shooting. If this books says anything, it is that we can't know what is going on inside other people's minds unless they tell us. It is so easy to blame the parents when something bad occurs, but everyone needs to remember that it is an individuals choices which lead them forward.

I applaud the author for having the strength and guts to go through with this book, and I hope she can continue to look toward the future. Many thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for providing a copy.

Sue Klebold lives in Littleton, Colorado. Seventeen years ago she lived with her husband and two sons, but since those happy days one momentous decision upturned her life and destroyed not only her reputation but also her peace of mind. It happened on April 20, 1999, when her youngest son Dylan Klebold, then aged just seventeen, teamed up with his friend Eric Harris and stormed into Columbine High School armed with bombs and guns, shooting dead twelve students and a teacher and wounding a further twenty-four others. They had planned their attack meaning to cause much more damage, many more deaths and even more subsequent chaos and heartache, but not all of the bombs went off. However that day Dylan achieved his secret ambition to end his own life by suicide, leaving behind a tsunami of emotions, uncertainty and questions. This is Sue Klebold’s unwaveringly honest account of the meticulous research she has undergone since that fateful day to discover the truth of why Dylan, a shy and loving son, took this path. She is filled with regret, despair and more cripplingly with guilt that she did not notice his suffering and therefore could not seek help, thus saving the lives and despair of many families who live in her community. She has sought out the opinions of mental health experts and has shared her journals, photographs and other primary sources, desperate to find answers. She has become a suicide counsellor and is donating the proceeds from this book to research and organisations focusing on mental health issues.
'A Mother's Reckoning’ is not an easy book to read because of the heartbreaking and violent content, but it is certainly a compelling and authoritative read. It is beautifully written and I felt great empathy for Sue and her family. The trauma that they went through lasted for many years with law suits served against them, their confusion and grief for their beloved son whilst loathing his violent actions in the massacre, were palpable, affecting and far reaching. It is not surprising that her forty-three year marriage ended in divorce, another extremely sad result of Dylan’s actions. I would like to thank NetGalley and publisher WH Allen for my copy of this memoir, sent to me in return for an honest review. This book is well worth reading but of course no amount of detailed research can provide the definitive answers Sue Klebold is searching for. Only Dylan knew his motivation and how truly dreadful he thought his life was. To him the outcome of the vicious attack on his school and its members was a way out and what he sought was death and an ending to his troubled existence.

Chillingly brutal and honest and a very uncomfortable read especially knowing it's a true story - sent shivers down my spine!

A good read, very interesting to read about such a tragic event from the mother's point of view. The devastation left behind and the aftermath, how the family coped through learning about the deaths caused by their child and his subsequent suicide.

Harrowing, heartbreaking & disturbing. My heart goes out to Sue Klebold, I have read some horrid reviews implying that she suffocated, tried to control her sons and so may have contributed to what her son Dylan did. This book is not a day by day diary of Dylan's too short life and Sue's mothering style, it gives an overview of the sort of mother she was and the home life Dylan had. As the mother of two boys who are now 29 & 21, I know just how hard it can be to know exactly what's going on in their lives & heads! Indeed, having found out some of the things they DID get up to (being 'grown ups' they can now revel in how the wool was pulled over our parental eyes) I'm kinda glad I didn't know, just as I'm happy for MY parents not to know HALF of what I got up to in my teenage years! Sue tries to give examples of their overall parenting methods, some of which I wholeheartedly agree with. I remember not letting my youngest son watch Human Centipede when he was 15, even though 'all his friends had seen it', yeah right (disgusting fodder that should never even have been made IMO)
Hindsight is a flippin' wonderful thing as we all know and with it, maaaaybe Dylan would have got the help he needed, however, without it, this quote from Soren Kierkegaard says it all "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." We all have regrets and shoulda woulda coulda's, especially when it comes to our children but this family has suffered enough without holier than thou comments from the perfect parent brigade (Show me a perfect parent and I'll show you someone without kids!)
I take my hat off to Sue for having the courage to open up her heart & mind with this honest, sometimes brutal account of before, during and after the Columbine shooting tragedy. Her insights and research into brain health are invaluable and will hopefully go some way into helping us understand and prevent suicidal thoughts and tendencies in young people.

I received a copy of this book from the publishers in exchange for my independent honest review. Where to start. Firstly as a mother of two boys myself I can place myself in Sue Klebold's shoes. As a mother of two boys I can place myself in the shoes of the victims parents. What I like about this book is how the author makes no excuses for what Dylan did and does understand the heartbreak too of the bereaved from both her family's viewpoint and those of the victims family. This is an event that has changed all their lives forever, they will never get over.
What I also liked is that Sue has been able to highlight mental illness in all its raw forms and I feel only by education we can start to help and provide appropriate services.
I felt every emotion with the Klebold's the day it happened, they were diswrought that their son might have been injured by mad gunmen, only to find out one of them was their son and brother. This could so easily be you or I who have sons and have brought them up to be good, kind law abiding people and then wham you no longer know them. I applaud the honesty, I am shocked at how badly this family was treated, although understandably so when victims families need someone to blame.
Very well thought out and well written book.
A must read for every decent parent who thinks they know their kids. Do we really.?
As a mother, despite not having any reason to feel responsible, most of us would and how Sue comes out the other end of such tragedy is applaudable. For the parent's of those who lost their lives that day, my heart goes out to you to.
Please read this.

Difficult to review as I switch between immense sadness for her and total disgust at her son and his actions.

This book has been a difficult one to read and even more difficult to review. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be in the author's shoes - the mother of one of the Columbine killers, Dylan Klebold - losing a child knowing that he murdered his school mates, the inevitable feelings of shame and guilt. I have no doubt she has endured years of opprobrium and questioning of her abilities as a parent. This is her opportunity to put the record straight and to highlight to other parents that they need to be on the look out for signs of distress.

Early on, before events became clear, her concerns were, not unnaturally, for her son. For some time thereafter she comforted herself that her son, her "sunshine boy", had been coerced or brainwashed by the other boy, Eric. This denial phase is brought to an end when six months down the line the police provide incontrovertible evidence that Dylan was a willing participant. She already knew by this stage that Dylan had bought a gun. She struggles to reconcile the child she knew and loved with the person who planned mass slaughter and with his partner in crime killed thirteen people and injured twenty four more, some with left with permanent disabilities. The toll would have been much higher had they correctly wired the bombs they planted. She is at pains to point out that Dylan was an easy, happy child who, she says, showed no signs of being troubled, and that he had been brought up in a "good home". The first half of the book was gripping and drew my sympathies for her predicament.

However, from the half way point my sympathy ebbed away and at times I found myself angry at what I was reading. There were several reasons for my change of heart. Most notably, from the author's description, and despite her assertions earlier in the book, it is clear to me that there were warning signs that should have set alarm bells ringing, not necessarily of the massacre as I don't think anyone could have predicted that, but as to Dylan's mental health. There were signs over a period of time that something was amiss. I also felt that the author was unrealistic in certain areas. For example, Dylan had been asked to help run the school computer network and in the course of that he found information which he downloaded and gave to another student. When this is discovered, he is given a week's suspension which both parents regarded as excessive and unjustified although it seemed eminently reasonable to me (I am astonished the school thought it appropriate to allow students to be in the position of being able to acquire such information in the first place). I was stupefied to read of their shock that Dylan would no longer be able to administer the computer network - surely they should have expected this? I had the uneasy feeling that underlying this was a belief that her son, who had also been in trouble with the police, was a 'good' boy and the punishment meted out to him was in some way unfair.

In the middle of the book the emphasis shifts from being the mother of a murderer to being the mother of a suicide, with the suicide part of the murder-suicide description as the dominant element. Dylan becomes another victim. Up to a point I agree but it seemed from this point on that Sue Klebold was making one excuse after another to distance her son from the events that ended with his death. The author latched onto the term "brain illness" rather than depression and, again, this seemed to me to be a part of the distancing herself from the realities. The finger is pointed at Dylan's accomplice, at the school, at bullies and so on. Each time she says that Dylan was responsible for his actions but there is always a 'but' hanging in the air that seeks to deflect the blame elsewhere. She notes that during the attack Dylan allowed some people to go free (she says only out of sight of Eric who is again positioned as the baddie to her charming son) and didn't shoot others who were in his sights. This seemed to me to be an attempt at somehow lessening his crime - but the reality is that he shot several people, spewing deeply unpleasant ethnic & racial epithets as he did so, and the fact that he could have killed more is irrelevant.

The author claims she is no longer in denial about her son's role in what had happened at Columbine: yet it seemed to me that she still hasn't accepted it. I was left wondering whether a blind eye had been turned before and whether a failure to face up to issues earlier might have contributed to the Columbine tragedy. I cannot square away her assertions that everything seemed normal and only with the benefit of hindsight can she see there were problems. That does not square with his arrest by the police, with the computer incident, declining grades, an essay that his teacher was concerned about because of its content, etc, etc.. Teenagers can be difficult, moody, and so forth but I would have wanted to delve more deeply.

I wonder too if there was more that was not said. I felt I had glimpses into another family dynamic with parents who were perhaps too controlling and a little joyless/intense e.g. going to the supermarket where she tells us she took this opportunity to explain to her children how to pick the best apple, to think about the farmers producing the food, about how fruit & veg are good for us. She viewed every moment as a teaching moment. I wanted to know more about why the older son moved out at a comparatively young age and whether this cast any light on events.

I must confess that I am slightly queasy now about the book's publication. If I were a relative of one of the victims, or a survivor, I think I might find it offensive. After so many years & probably with a publicity tour, the book must surely have dredged up awful memories. If the book offered any new insights to the events then this might be justified but despite my expectations sadly there were few, if any. Nor do I think the book offers anything truly helpful to other parents such as would make publishing it an imperative. It is, I think, interesting to note that neither the author's son nor her now ex-husband favoured publication, not wanting "to churn up difficult memories, sacrifice their privacy...they honored my determination to do what I thought was necessary". In my own mind I think she would have published regardless of what they thought. It seems to me that Sue Klebold had a need to say it wasn't her fault, and in particular that she was a good mother and that Dylan was really a good child. I think she needed to publish the book and the likely consequence of reviving painful memories in others weren't really considered.